Ch. 758 - Touch

This may sound weird... but I like to touch. It seems like I always have to be holding or touching something - it usually comes down to my hair, a pen, or my earring(s). I think that the sense of touch can tell us so much about things. And people, too.

Is something new? Or perhaps aged and worn? It something soft, or rough? Smooth, or ragged and uneven? Is a table made of real wood, or has it been covered with a veneer that looks like wood? Is something supple, or hard? Dry, or wet? Are a person's hands calloused, or well taken care of? Is a person's wealth made obvious in the fabrics they choose to clothe themselves with?

You can only know something to such a degree by seeing it, hearing it, tasting it, smelling it... well, by touching it, too. But I feel that touch reveals something's depth. It brings to the table a new facet of said somethings. Touch brings about an understanding of the reality of things; they "come to life". I think this is partly why people have such a difficult time coming to know, understand, or desire God... He cannot be touched. We cannot grasp Who or What He is based on that sense. Or any others, really. Well. I suppose we can believe that He is beautiful based on what we see in nature or people, but otherwise, we cannot understand Him or have a deeper sense of Him [based on what our senses lead us to know/believe].

However. Perhaps it is safe to say that people are able to realize a facet of God based on touch. What about those who are healed from the laying on of hands? If someone is healed due to the power of the Holy Spirit flowing through the hands of a believer with the gift of healing, wouldn't the person who was healed come to understand and believe that God is the Healer? As long as glory is given to Him, all parties involved - especially the healed - should know that ultimately, God healed the inflicted. Obviously it may not be the touch itself that initiates the healing, but rather faith - but the touch of the person who has the gift allows God to work through that faith and that person.

I love the fact that God can use healings to show Himself to both believers and nonbelievers alike. Yet I do believe that it takes faith upon the part of the inflicted in order to be healed, not just the person who has that gift, based on what I read in the Bible. Even so, nonbelievers, or those to whom faith is not "real", may see these healings and come to see and know God is at work and real. So I suppose that it is possible to know a part of God through the sense of touch, technically. It may be a bit of a stretch, I realize, but it makes sense to me... especially since I do believe that God continues to give the gift of healing to people today - and does miraculous and wonderful things through His children. All glory to God, always!


'When he came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.'
[Matthew 8:1-3]

Ch. 754 - Roll

God is so much bigger than you.
... Than me.

Why is it so difficult for us to lay to rest the trivial matters that do not even affect our personal salvations? Our personal ministries? Our personal relationships with the God Who loves us more than we know... ?

More often than not, no one is to blame but yourself when these things are affected in such a way that is deemed undesirable, unfair, unreasonable, irrational, upsetting, etc.

When are we going to accept the fact that we do not know what is best?
When are we going to accept the fact that we need to learn to trust?
When are we going to accept the fact that change happens?

... Sometimes simply embracing change makes it all the more easy to understand, rather than kicking against the goads trying to comprehend all the facets of said change. Learn things for yourself. Don't skip around between multiple points of view.

Multiple stories.
Multiple lies.
Multiple hurts.

Turn away from that which is meaningless.
Turn, in entirety, to Him Who reigns on high.
... To Him Who is above all else.


' "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness..." '
[Matthew 6:33a]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 356.

Ch. 736 - ¡Blasphemy!

This morning I was reading in the book of Matthew and the following two verses have stayed with me throughout the day:

' "And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come." '
[Matthew 12:31-32]

I wonder how many people have read these and suddenly become fearful that they have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit. I personally think that you were ever to do so, you would most certainly know... And it's not truly just a case of "speaking a word" against Him. A friend of mine has put it this way: 'How many times have we spoken the Lord's name in vain?' It's okay, He forgives us. Granted, it doesn't give us an excuse to do so. But it's not the end of the world and we are not stripped of our salvation. I believe the blaspheme would be more of an outward sign, and whatever was the root thinking or feeling would become a true, personal belief. I simply cannot imagine what would cause someone to speak against the Holy Spirit and not believe, for example, in His very being or power. It's difficult to think about.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 206.

Ch. 701 - People are Good

'Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." '
[Matthew 26:36-38]

Jesus brought Peter, James, and John with Him to the garden at Gethsemane, and on their way Jesus began to be grieved and distressed. I believe this verse shows the humanity of Jesus, and also teaches us how to live in one aspect. Even though Jesus knew He was going to die in obedience for our salvation, He was at a vulnerable, weak moment in His life. Jesus’ bringing His three closest disciples reveals that we were created as relational beings. I sense a feeling of dependency on these three during this moment in Jesus’ life; I believe that we should realize we can turn to our brothers and sisters in Christ for help and support, in addition to turning to God.

Note to self: There are so many good people in this world.
Not everyone I come to face is "evil" or careless.
I should not be so terribly critical.
I simply distance myself in doing so and that is not a good thing.

Ch. 691 - Capacity

Before class this morning I began my day by praying in the gym.

Lord God.

Chapel.
People.
Hearts.
Change.

Jesus Christ.

Peace.
Fruit.
Power.

Holy Spirit.

Hope.
Time.

The Church.

Joy.

Me.

My mind was racing, my heart was pounding.

Even though I felt as if a million and one thoughts were running through my mind, I felt as if they all centered around a single theme: love.

My love for God.
My love for others.
God's love for me.
God's love for others.
The body's love for God.
The body's love for others.
And so it goes on...

I've come to realize that sometimes, throughout the day, all I pray for is love.
More love.

What I really desire is for us to love God more.

'Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment."
[Matthew 22:37-38]

How often are we asked, "Do you truly obey the greatest commandment?"

Or how often do we hear, "You know... it all comes down to love. That's what it's all about!"

So this morning, as I'm praying and "love" recycles itself through my thoughts, I hear the following line from the song All Consuming Fire by Misty Edwards:

'Let us fall more in love with You.'

Oh, the joys of putting the iPod on shuffle: what a pleasant surprise...

When I heard that line, I just stopped.
I was overcome with the weight of the Presence.
I doubled over.
['Whoa.']

Unexpected.
But welcomed.

That's a heaviness on your heart that you should never want lifted.

No restraint.
Freedom in the Spirit.
All out of love, and the desire of love for God from others.

Desires from within that I'm not even fully aware of, made known to God.

Is that truly such a terrible thing?
[What are people so afraid of?]

God is listening.
"It's not time.
... They're not ready."
But He is listening.

Before all else, we need to increase our capacity to love.

Devotion.
Adoration.

Ask for more.
Love God.

Acceptance of self.
Love of self.

Ask for more.
Love God.

Acceptance of others.
Love of others.

Ask for more.
Love God.
Ask for more.

Ch. 684 - Transparency

Two weeks.

Two weeks of "silence".
Two weeks of thinking.
Letting my mind wander, really.
Two weeks of time to myself.
Two weeks of... well... Godlessness.

And I'm okay with that.
Should I be?
Probably not.

......
I am tired.
......

Needless to say, it's time to turn back around.
God is waiting for me.


' "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." '
[Matthew 11:28-30]

......

Ch. 684, Part Two:

This is incredibly hard for me, but...
Help. Please.
Just... pray.
Or if you're at Central, help me break down my walls.
If you think I'm intimidating, try to get past that.
Find me.
Come chat.
Man. Something.
Anything.
Please. Help.

Ch. 672 - HIS Return

Jesus tells His followers that the gospel will be preached to all the nations and then the end will come [He will return]… but then goes on to say that nobody but the Father knows when that will happen. Sharing the gospel as a testimony will become, I believe, increasingly difficult as time passes and the end of the age approaches. Followers of Christ will be tested and persecuted by adversaries, but they must persevere and stay strong in the Lord God – especially since we don’t know when Christ will return. We need to continually persevere and overcome trials, and prepare our hearts – and those of the lost! – for His coming.


"'And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come."; "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." '
[Matthew 24:14; 36]

Ch. 671 - "Talent"

In Jesus’ parable of the talents, we can learn that we should not grow complacent. We need to take what we’ve received from God and work with it in a responsible, effective manner. The faithful workers will be entrusted with greater things, earning their just reward and praise. There is much work to be done for God’s kingdom. We can’t assume we have all the time in the world to get things done… if we desire for God to truly use us, we need to accomplish our tasks in love and with diligence. Jesus never stopped working, reaching out, or touching the lives of others… neither should we.


' "The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.' "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'; "Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.' "His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed?" '
[Matthew 25:20-21; 24-26]

Ch. 670 - Saved. Sanctified.

For a little over five weeks now I have worn a red bracelet on my left wrist. It is simply a length of red embroidery floss that I wound around my wrist four or five times before tying a knot. The day after I was baptized I had done the same thing, but the color of the floss was green. It symbolized the "new life" I had been baptized into. The red symbolizes the blood of Jesus with which I have been sanctified. The green bracelet fell off after one week. Right after it did, I tied on the red floss. It has not come off my wrist since I tied it on. I like this. Even though I am in this new life, in regards to my time on earth, this life is finite. It won't last. I couldn't have told you whether my life was going to end with the falling off of that first bracelet. But I can, indeed, tell you that our time on earth is short. Yet because of what Jesus did, I have life eternal.

I mean, we have been sanctified by Jesus’ blood. He came as a Sacrifice for our sins, a spotless Lamb, to save man. Yet MAN, after arresting and questioning Him, “decided” to put Him to death. When Jesus was being tried, Pilate, a man of authority, claimed Jesus a righteous Man. Pilate said to the Jews he was innocent of His blood; the people boldly accepted the responsibility for His blood. They were reckless in doing so, because they did not, I’m assuming, consider the consequences that would wait for them if He truly was the Son of God – which He is. The irony of the situation astounds me. Denial of the Truth leads to sin and separation from God. Yet we have the opportunity to be made clean with His blood that He shed for us. What a gift. Eternity awaits us.


'But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowd to ask for Barabbas and to have Jesus executed. "Which of the two do you want me to release to you?" asked the governor. "Barabbas," they answered. "What shall I do, then, with Jesus who is called Christ?" Pilate asked. They all answered, "Crucify him!" "Why? What crime has he committed?" asked Pilate. But they shouted all the louder, "Crucify him!" When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but that instead an uproar was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. "I am innocent of this man's blood," he said. "It is your responsibility!" All the people answered, "Let his blood be on us and on our children!" '
[Matthew 27:20-25]

Ch. 257 - Opening Up

I have no clue what I'm going to do in the future.
I have no clue where I'm going to be.
I have no clue who I'm going to be working with.
I have no clue who I'm going to start a family with.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: I do not like not having a set-in-stone plan. I do not like not knowing what's going to happen. Don't get me wrong, spontaneity is fine. And surprises are fantastic. But when it really comes down to it, I like having a good bit of knowledge as to what will be going down, and when, and where, and with whom.

I'm still really struggling with simply knowing that God will take care of it all. I know He'll set the ball in motion, but I have to acknowledge what He's doing and take that first step towards it. And that's tough. I think I'd be having a much easier time with everything if I weren't so darn indecisive... not gonna lie.

I'm basically taking one step forward, then two steps back.
And it's all because I'm not putting enough trust in God.
I'm not okay with that.


' "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." '
[Matthew 14:28-33]

Ch. 227 - Go

This week's memory verse:

' "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." '
[Matthew 28:19-20, NASB]

Ch. 191 - Treasures

This week's memory verse:

' "Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." '
[Matthew 6:19-21]

22. August 2010 Edit:

People are so strange. I mean, we focus on the here and now... yet also the future.

If I do "this" now... it will get me "that" or "here" in the future.

We will do anything to get ahead. Yet it isn't even always a case of survival of the fittest, necessarily. We want the best for ourselves. We want to impress. We want to be comfortable. We are selfish. We are greedy. And then we become jealous of what we have, and envious of what we do not. People truly lead vicious day-to-day lives. For wealth. For power. For... nothing. These things all pass away. They mean nothing to our Lord God. They are finite, just as we are. Will we get to bring all this "stuff" and whatnot with us when we die? The answer is no. The things that do matter, of course, do not revolve around oneself. That which we store up in heaven can come from many things. But it certainly involves selflessness and humility... things that "we" seem to know little about.

Ch. 175 - Prayerful Consideration

Something hit me today. I came to the realization that I've been a lot better about prayer since coming to Central. Before I do anything, I pray. Eating. Sleeping. Studying. Reading. Hanging out. Before class (whether it's led by teachers or not). After class.

Why is that?

Why is it that now that I happen to be at Bible college I'm all about prayer again?

I don't think I make it apparent that I'm praying a lot. I mean, Jesus told us to 'not be like the hypocrites and pray standing in the synagogues on the street corners to be seen by men.' [Matthew 6:5] There's no reward in doing so.

Why can't I be about prayer all the time?
When I'm not at school - whether I'm at Bible college is irrelevant.
When I'm not at church or chapel.
When things are going really well.
When things are not going really well.
When there are specific people I'm praying for.
When there are not specific people I'm praying for.

I suppose I've come to the conclusion that whenever I'm really focusing on God in my life and am surrounded by fellow believers who are doing the same and encouraging one another, I pray more often.

That shouldn't be the case. If anything, I should be praying more when I'm not around fellow believers and when I know I'm not focusing on God for anything, whether it's discussion with friends, schoolwork, preparation for teaching Sunday school, etc.


'Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.'
[James 5:16]

Ch. 165 - A New Light

Last night there was a bonfire for the new students. Now, when I think ‘bonfire’ I think of large, roaring flames dancing toward the sky. So imagine my disappointment when I reach said bonfire with one of my roommates, Leez, and see a somewhat pathetic, little pit of fire. Okay, so it honestly wasn’t that pathetic. I’m just making a big deal out of nothing. But as people stood around this fire, there was a sense of community that made the fire seem bigger, brighter and warmer than any other bonfire I've experienced.

Someone had brought a guitar and we started to sing some worship songs. Everybody sang. Nobody was too cool to sing. Nobody was too shy to sing. Nobody was too embarrassed to sing. Every single student was lifting their voices in praise to God. Beautiful. His presence was felt by, I'm sure, many of the students. I was so glad that I had made my way over to the fire and was there for that time of praise. It was a perfect way to end the evening, as well as a perfect way to start the week.


' "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." '
[Matthew 18:20]

Ch. 158 - The Boldness of Peter

Sometimes trial and error is the only way of finding the best way to prepare or practice for something. This may include the best way of following God or answering a call.

Remember the boldness of Peter as he stepped out of the boat to go to Jesus.

Have faith.

Stand strong in any storm that may surround you.

We need God - but He needs us, too.

Don't miss the divine invitation to follow Jesus and serve God.


'During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
[Matthew 14:25-31]

Ch. 151 - A Fool's Thoughts

I've said it before. I judge people. I judge people a lot. But when I start to judge my own family, I think that's a sign that I've hit an absolute low. How dare I do such a thing? People I should be loving and embracing for who they are, I am putting down with my thoughts and trying to convince myself that I am better than they. But for what reasons could I be better? I have none. I should be serving them and encouraging them and building them up. If I want to be the very least, I have to place myself there and have that mindset.

Who am I to think that I don't have faults?
Who am I to think that I never say anything rude?
Who am I to think that I never disrespect my elders - or even my parents?

May God give me the strength to lay down my pride and to repent from my judging ways. There is only one Judge. And the day of judgment has yet to come.


' "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" '
[Matthew 7:1-3]

Ch. 150 - Full Speed Ahead

'Into marvelous light I'm running,
out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross You are the truth,
You are the life, You are the way.

My dead heart now is beating,
my deepest stains now clean.
Your breath fills up my lungs,
now I'm free, now I'm free.

Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that I have found.
Oh the marvelous light,
the marvelous light.'
[Marvelous Light]

This is, quite possibly, one of my favorite songs ever. It really speaks to me and I am able to connect to it because I believe a lot of it perfectly describes how I've come to know Christ and what has happened in my life since I've truly accepted Him into my heart.

A couple weeks ago I had written a post about receiving something I had been waiting for [see Chs. 136 and 137]. That 'something' was forgiveness. I know, I know: 'How can you be waiting for forgiveness? God forgives everything once you ask for it and expect that it will be given to you.' I don't know how to describe my thought process behind it, though. Just trust me when I say that I know when God has truly forgiven me for something. It's one of those 'things', you know? A feeling. A thought. A sense of humility like no other.

Anyway, while I was waiting for said forgiveness, I couldn't help but notice that I didn't feel quite right. I didn't feel alive in Christ... a terrible feeling. So the verse I have posted above ('my dead heart now is beating...') really represents that struggle I felt in my heart to connect with God and focus on Him while waiting for His forgiveness - and then the turnaround with His breath filling up my lungs, setting me free in His love, mercy and grace. I don't think the verse can only be about accepting Christ into your heart and being free in Him, which is a great thing. It is able to speak to all people and meet them where they are in life and in their walks with God. Beautiful.

I also appreciate the first part of the song that I posted ('by the cross you are the truth...').

' "Jesus answered, "I am the way, and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." '
[John 14:6]

I have been on the other side of the fence and thus can tell you, with firsthand experience, that it couldn't be more true. If you think there's any way around it, you are wrong. That's a pretty opinionated and bold statement, but I agree with what Jesus said so strongly that there's no way I'd say or believe otherwise.

So yes, I am running into marvelous light... and I'm not slowing down anytime soon.


' "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." '
[Matthew 7:13-14]

Ch. 131 - Verification Verse Two

' "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" '
[Matthew 16:26]

16. May 2010 Edit:

All things of this world are finite.
Temporal.
Limited.

The things of this world should not matter to us.
Even relationships, in the end, fail us. That doesn't mean we shouldn't make the most of our time and love people and help them and develop the connections we have... because we were made as relational beings. But when they come to be of greater importance than our Lord God, that is when we need to shift our focus and remind ourselves how "meaningless" certain things truly are. There are few things we know and trust that are truly of great importance. Meaningful. Eternal. We should spend some time thinking about what those are and what they mean to and for us.

Ch. 128 - Repeating Kindergarten

Do you remember the first days of school? Especially kindergarten - because you were at long last going to go to 'regular' school with the big kids. I certainly remember those days. Getting to finally ride the school bus as a fellow big kid was, by far, one of the highlights of 1994-95.

Last year was just like kindergarten. Getting to go to college with 'the big kids' was a huge deal. I knew that my freshman year of college was going to be absolutely grand, and once it was over... it was over. I'd be well into the brand new start. Sophomore year would come and go. I'd be settled. Familiar. Junior year would come and go. Really get into my major's coursework. Internships. Study abroad. And then I would practically stumble into senior year, tripping over the excitement of almost being done. That'd be it. I'd graduate. I'd go off and do, well, whatever.

For the last time, I'm getting the chance to start anew once again. I'll be a freshman. Again. For the third time, technically. New school. New major. New faces. New classes. I'm getting a brand new start. And I'm more grateful for it than you can imagine!

I bring this all up because today I was finally granted access to the student portal of CCCB (Central Christian College of the Bible). I browsed around a bit and saw that I could get started on an unofficial class registration, so I did just that. I pre-registered for my fall classes and let me tell you, I am now even more excited to head off to Moberly in August!

Life of Christ I
Christian Discipleship
Survey of Pentateuch
Foundations of Christianity
World Geography
SALT: Information [Service And Leadership Training]

Seriously. Best. classes. ever. These are the types of classes I've been waiting to take all my life. I just didn't know it until this past year. ! Kind of funny how these things work out, huh?

Ha.


' "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." '
[Matthew 7:7-8]

Ch. 96 - DO Something

There is so much going on right now. In Iowa. In the Midwest. In the United States. In the world. Every day I hear about flooding, tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes. Death. Destruction. Devastation. It's everywhere.

It's easier said than done at times, but if at all possible we should be going out and helping people. Whether it's sandbagging, reconstruction, distribution, medical care, pastoral care... we need to be there for people whose lives and 'worlds' are in danger, or for people whose lives and worlds have been turned upside-down.

These are sad times. Bad times. End times. Whatever you consider it... it's not good.

Let us be a light to those who are living in darkness.


' "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." '
[Matthew 7:12]