Oh, how my heart aches.
I see a sister walking down a path that I once traveled.
I see a sister turning away from the Christ whom she so lovingly showed me.
I see a sister making a mistake - even though I know I do not know the story.
I see confusion.
I see desperation.
I see misguidance.
I see a lost girl.
I know.
I feel.
I remember.
I remember what it was like to be lost.
To be going down a path that seems to simply be... "right".
The worst part? Sometimes I feel fingers, reaching from the false light, tugging at me. How strong and relentless they can be. More than once have I believed that my heart and mind were going to be ripped into pieces.
And so I fear for this lost girl that I see.
... Yet all I can do is pray.
Pray that she continues to seek for truth... for the Truth.
Pray that she is influenced by someone as I was influenced by her.
Pray that she turns around and runs back to Him who holds her in His hands.
And pray that she comes to fully understand the meaning of John 14:6.
... Just as I did on that beautiful spring morning two and a half years ago.
Oh, how my heart aches.
But there is a peace that washes over me as I remember that HE is so much bigger than any of us. My soul is calmed as my spirit is stirred.
......
I just realized that this post has something to do with the first item of that "list" I created in Ch. 765. Thus, the title change from "One return. One departure." to "The List: Islam". I had said I would likely be posting reflections on each thing that I listed. I didn't know what those reflections would look like or how/when they would begin. ... But obviously, it just sort of... happened, eh? So alright, then. Here we go.
Showing posts with label Prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prayer. Show all posts
January 1, 2011
September 14, 2010
Ch. 745 - Lifted
Lord God, I thank You for this day. I thank You for sorrow, that it makes me feel... alive. It reminds me that Your Son knows what we, as finite beings, go through each day. And it brings me gladness to know that He is sympathetic and compassionate towards Your children. But even so, I ask that You would remind me to continuously turn to You in all things... prayer, confusion, sorrow, joy... and that I would be all the more glad that I have You to turn to. Because people do fail. People do let others down. But You, O God, do not fail, or let Your children down. You are sovereign and loving. You are glad and swift to help us up when we fall. And for this, I thank You.
Lord God, You are ever near. Right by my side. Ready. Attentive. Quick to listen, quick to wrap Your arms around me. Do I deserve these things? No... But You have bought me for a price. And I am worthy in Your sight. Praise is due You, Lord God! "I am Yours, You are mine... and we'll be together forever!" Thank You for truths that You give me to hold onto. They speak of Your greatness and holiness. There is none like You. Hallelujah, hallelujah!
Lord God, hear me. Hear my words. Hear my thoughts. Hear the songs of my spirit and soul. Give me a desire to focus on what truly matters. Help me to love others, and all the more love You. For You are good, always. Refresh me, Lord God. Break me down, rend my heart. Strip me of anything and everything that keeps me from You. Fill me up, then, so that I may know You more and be near to You. And then, O God, pour me out unto others, that they may experience Your Holy Spirit. For only You can truly fill them up, but You can use me to give them a taste... a touch. That is what I desire. Be it through joy inexpressible, encouragement, a prophetic word, a simple prayer, or some other manifestation... I want others to know and love You and Your Spirit. Lord God, You are gracious and merciful. I pray that I would be able to strengthen myself in regards to these qualities, in becoming more like Your Son.
It's in His name, always... let it be so.
Lord God, You are ever near. Right by my side. Ready. Attentive. Quick to listen, quick to wrap Your arms around me. Do I deserve these things? No... But You have bought me for a price. And I am worthy in Your sight. Praise is due You, Lord God! "I am Yours, You are mine... and we'll be together forever!" Thank You for truths that You give me to hold onto. They speak of Your greatness and holiness. There is none like You. Hallelujah, hallelujah!
Lord God, hear me. Hear my words. Hear my thoughts. Hear the songs of my spirit and soul. Give me a desire to focus on what truly matters. Help me to love others, and all the more love You. For You are good, always. Refresh me, Lord God. Break me down, rend my heart. Strip me of anything and everything that keeps me from You. Fill me up, then, so that I may know You more and be near to You. And then, O God, pour me out unto others, that they may experience Your Holy Spirit. For only You can truly fill them up, but You can use me to give them a taste... a touch. That is what I desire. Be it through joy inexpressible, encouragement, a prophetic word, a simple prayer, or some other manifestation... I want others to know and love You and Your Spirit. Lord God, You are gracious and merciful. I pray that I would be able to strengthen myself in regards to these qualities, in becoming more like Your Son.
It's in His name, always... let it be so.
April 20, 2010
Ch. 691 - Capacity
Before class this morning I began my day by praying in the gym.
Lord God.
Chapel.
People.
Hearts.
Change.
Jesus Christ.
Peace.
Fruit.
Power.
Holy Spirit.
Hope.
Time.
The Church.
Joy.
Me.
My mind was racing, my heart was pounding.
Even though I felt as if a million and one thoughts were running through my mind, I felt as if they all centered around a single theme: love.
My love for God.
My love for others.
God's love for me.
God's love for others.
The body's love for God.
The body's love for others.
And so it goes on...
I've come to realize that sometimes, throughout the day, all I pray for is love.
More love.
What I really desire is for us to love God more.
'Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment."
[Matthew 22:37-38]
How often are we asked, "Do you truly obey the greatest commandment?"
Or how often do we hear, "You know... it all comes down to love. That's what it's all about!"
So this morning, as I'm praying and "love" recycles itself through my thoughts, I hear the following line from the song All Consuming Fire by Misty Edwards:
'Let us fall more in love with You.'
Oh, the joys of putting the iPod on shuffle: what a pleasant surprise...
When I heard that line, I just stopped.
I was overcome with the weight of the Presence.
I doubled over.
['Whoa.']
Unexpected.
But welcomed.
That's a heaviness on your heart that you should never want lifted.
No restraint.
Freedom in the Spirit.
All out of love, and the desire of love for God from others.
Desires from within that I'm not even fully aware of, made known to God.
Is that truly such a terrible thing?
[What are people so afraid of?]
God is listening.
"It's not time.
... They're not ready."
But He is listening.
Before all else, we need to increase our capacity to love.
Devotion.
Adoration.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Acceptance of self.
Love of self.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Acceptance of others.
Love of others.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Ask for more.
Lord God.
Chapel.
People.
Hearts.
Change.
Jesus Christ.
Peace.
Fruit.
Power.
Holy Spirit.
Hope.
Time.
The Church.
Joy.
Me.
My mind was racing, my heart was pounding.
Even though I felt as if a million and one thoughts were running through my mind, I felt as if they all centered around a single theme: love.
My love for God.
My love for others.
God's love for me.
God's love for others.
The body's love for God.
The body's love for others.
And so it goes on...
I've come to realize that sometimes, throughout the day, all I pray for is love.
More love.
What I really desire is for us to love God more.
'Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment."
[Matthew 22:37-38]
How often are we asked, "Do you truly obey the greatest commandment?"
Or how often do we hear, "You know... it all comes down to love. That's what it's all about!"
So this morning, as I'm praying and "love" recycles itself through my thoughts, I hear the following line from the song All Consuming Fire by Misty Edwards:
'Let us fall more in love with You.'
Oh, the joys of putting the iPod on shuffle: what a pleasant surprise...
When I heard that line, I just stopped.
I was overcome with the weight of the Presence.
I doubled over.
['Whoa.']
Unexpected.
But welcomed.
That's a heaviness on your heart that you should never want lifted.
No restraint.
Freedom in the Spirit.
All out of love, and the desire of love for God from others.
Desires from within that I'm not even fully aware of, made known to God.
Is that truly such a terrible thing?
[What are people so afraid of?]
God is listening.
"It's not time.
... They're not ready."
But He is listening.
Before all else, we need to increase our capacity to love.
Devotion.
Adoration.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Acceptance of self.
Love of self.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Acceptance of others.
Love of others.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Ask for more.
April 12, 2010
Ch. 684 - Transparency
Two weeks.
Two weeks of "silence".
Two weeks of thinking.
Letting my mind wander, really.
Two weeks of time to myself.
Two weeks of... well... Godlessness.
And I'm okay with that.
Should I be?
Probably not.
......
I am tired.
......
Needless to say, it's time to turn back around.
God is waiting for me.
' "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." '
[Matthew 11:28-30]
......
Ch. 684, Part Two:
This is incredibly hard for me, but...
Help. Please.
Just... pray.
Or if you're at Central, help me break down my walls.
If you think I'm intimidating, try to get past that.
Find me.
Come chat.
Man. Something.
Anything.
Please. Help.
Two weeks of "silence".
Two weeks of thinking.
Letting my mind wander, really.
Two weeks of time to myself.
Two weeks of... well... Godlessness.
And I'm okay with that.
Should I be?
Probably not.
......
I am tired.
......
Needless to say, it's time to turn back around.
God is waiting for me.
' "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." '
[Matthew 11:28-30]
......
Ch. 684, Part Two:
This is incredibly hard for me, but...
Help. Please.
Just... pray.
Or if you're at Central, help me break down my walls.
If you think I'm intimidating, try to get past that.
Find me.
Come chat.
Man. Something.
Anything.
Please. Help.
March 13, 2010
Ch. 673 - Answers by Faith
' "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." '
[Mark 11:23-24]
Jesus tells us that when we have faith, our prayers will be answered. We are to have no doubt in our hearts. God desires to grant what we pray for- but if we don't believe He can or will answer our prayers, then why should He? The verses following the above passage reminds us to have a spirit of forgiveness when we pray - for if we do not forgive others, we will also not be forgiven our transgressions. We are also reminded of this through the "Lord's Prayer" and as it is a command of Jesus, we should certainly do what He says.
Prayer is powerful.
[Mark 11:23-24]
Jesus tells us that when we have faith, our prayers will be answered. We are to have no doubt in our hearts. God desires to grant what we pray for- but if we don't believe He can or will answer our prayers, then why should He? The verses following the above passage reminds us to have a spirit of forgiveness when we pray - for if we do not forgive others, we will also not be forgiven our transgressions. We are also reminded of this through the "Lord's Prayer" and as it is a command of Jesus, we should certainly do what He says.
Prayer is powerful.
December 3, 2008
Ch. 264 - A Slow Walk
So here's the story behind this post. It's actually 2:44 in the afternoon on Thursday. This post is actually a paper I wrote between midnight:30 and 3:00 this morning, and then later between 10:00 and 11:45... ummm, yeah. Anyway. It was an assignment for one of my classes. It's supposedly a spiritual growth plan. Whatever. But I missed yesterday's post ("today") and have nothing on my heart or mind right now - and had no clue what to write about - so I thought I'd post it. I figured it has to do with my faith and my walk with God, technically, so it works. It's a bit long, I wouldn't blame you for not reading it. Just thought I'd give you a heads up now.
......
'Psalm 25:4-7 [NIV] says, ‘Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.’
I feel that this psalm – and more specifically the section of verses above – describes where I am in my walk with God. I want to be taught by Him. I want to be guided by Him. I want to be loved by Him. I want to be forgiven by Him. At times it can be easy to forget that you need all of these things, especially from God. You need to learn. You need to be guided, loved, and forgiven. Because I want and need all of these things, I believe God has brought me to the path I am on. I am where I am for at least one reason, and whether I learn of this reason in five days or five years does not matter. I personally believe it is the here and now that matters. I think God knows that there is something I am searching for in the place where I am, and that is why He has brought me to where I am today. I am constantly seeking something – half the time I do not even know what – and throughout my life He has constantly provided me with the answers I have been looking for. I have not always walked down the straight and narrow path in regards to my faith. I have climbed mountains, I have dug myself into dark trenches. I have walked extremely close with God one day and veered completely off the edge of the map the next. Throughout my trials and accomplishments, sorrows and pleasures, I have made mistakes and learned from them. God is teaching me that I am not perfect. God is teaching me that without Him, I am nothing. And I think that is why He has brought me along the path that I have traveled thus far.
Because of this personal belief, I have come to grow in my faith in more than one way. For example, I have realized how truly wonderful ‘an unhurried life’ is. Taking the time to slow down has become an important aspect of my life. We do have a purpose on this earth and our lives are far too short to rush through everything; I think by rushing we are not able to fully comprehend our purpose and enjoy our fulfillment of what we are meant to do. But even until God reveals that purpose, I think it is important to not rush. God created this earth for our enjoyment, not mere disposal. In my opinion, ‘Take time to smell the roses’ could be, by far, one of the wisest sayings known to mankind. I have also grown through the realization that there is joy and beauty in every situation imaginable. I have lived a fortunate life. I mean, I have never been affected by disease. I have never had to deal with trauma. I have never lived in poverty. I have never been stricken with depression. Sure, I have experienced my share of sadness, frustration, anger… but I have never had to deal with utter tragedy. This is something I am thankful for. Even so, I am curious as to how I would respond to situations where there seems to be no happiness, peace, or joy. I think that God has recently been teaching me how to live with just that – joy. Life is full of those ‘dee dah day’ moments. God gives us gifts daily. It is just a matter of learning how to look for them, grasping them, and fully using them to see God’s own joy and beauty.
Even though I am growing in my faith and am developing what spiritual strengths I do have, there are ways I am completely adverse in regards to growing further and developing those strengths. I believe the first and foremost reason for God putting me on this earth is to wholly worship Him with love, devotion, and dedication. Deuteronomy 6:5 [NIV] says, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength,’ and John 4:23-24 [NIV] says, ‘“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”’ I believe that worship is not merely singing praise to God during church or youth group or chapel services at school. Worship is living your life for God, giving Him everything of yourself, every minute of every day. Yet do I truly live that way? No. As difficult as that may be to admit, it is the truth. It is not that I simply do not focus on Him enough, but it is also that I have turned away from Him entirely before – and more than once. There have been times when I rejected His love, and certainly did not give Him any in return. If that is not falling short of God’s design for me, I do not know what is. I also have not put as much trust in God as I could have. I do not think that I ever tried to put my full trust in Him until this past year, to be honest. I am not a fan of putting my trust in the unseen, the unknown. I like to plan. I like to know what is going to happen. When you put your trust in God, I think you are taking a step towards admitting that you are alright with not knowing what is going to happen. By putting your trust in God, you can be more firm in your beliefs and the faith that you have in Him. I have tried to do things my way, on my time, by my plans for such a long time. This is an absolute weakness and I am constantly striving to place it at the foot of the cross. I trust God. Unfortunately, saying you trust God and completely following through with having trust in Him are two entirely different things. Yet I know that He cares about me enough to have patience with me (ah yes, patience: something I feel I will always be continuing to learn).
I believe it is difficult to place my faith or my walk with God on a scale. Life is constant, but not consistent. It changes with you day-to-day. However, in general, I suppose I would be able to place myself at a five. I know I am always going to have room to grow, no matter where I come to be in life. Certain aspects of my spiritual life are better than others. For example, I would place myself at a nine in regards to prayer, but I would place myself at a four in regards to Scripture reflection or meditation. In four to five years I hope to be at a seven. I want to take things slowly, so that I can absorb as much as possible and get the most out of my relationship with God. I want to be on a slow walk with God.
Of course, there will always be things that hinder our relationship with God. Culture – especially Western culture – is not always very friendly to the believer who is trying to grow spiritually. There are distractions galore in the media, at work, at school, and at home. They come in many forms, such as people, material possessions, success complexes, health problems, violence, and so much more. We are a busy people. We are an independent people. I know that these represent two of my bigger obstacles that I face. Sometimes I always feel like I am going, going, going and that I live in an over-extended lifestyle. However, this is because of choices I have made; I can also choose to move toward the opposite of an over-extended lifestyle. I can choose a life with balance. I believe balance is a key component to healthy spiritual growth. I have to give priority to the important things in life. As of now, those things include God, my family, my health, and my education. Sure, friends are important. Service is, too, as is working. However, if I cannot even focus on my relationship with God, who created me and allows me to even have education, friends, and the ability to serve and work, how can I have all things in my life in order, regardless of priority? Not giving God enough time – and thinking too independently, believing I can do everything on my own – is a large obstacle that I am always striving to overcome.
Fortunately, I am slowly learning how to take larger bounds over these obstacles and by equipping myself with knowledge, as well as practicing spiritual disciplines, I believe I can make a lot of significant progression towards growing in my faith. I think that the righteousness and spiritual growth of mature Christians is not a result of their age or the number of years they have been Christian. I believe it is a result of practicing their disciplines. The willingness to do exactly that is an advantage for spiritual growth, in my opinion. Another advantage would include the fact that I am living in a time and place where I am surrounded by fellow believers. I am not persecuted for my faith in Jesus Christ. I am not cursed or shunned for my beliefs and morals. If I need help with anything, I have people I am able to turn to. I can ask them advice. I can ask them for prayer. I have opportunities to create support systems. Even though I think that we should turn to God with everything first, God does speak through people. We have also been put on this earth to encourage, edify, and grow with one another.
I think that growth can be spurred by many things. We have to want to grow, though. Once we have decided that we do want to grow spiritually, we can then take steps toward doing so. Personally, I know I need to be willing to open up to people more. There are often times when I want to talk about God and my faith, and complain that nobody is willing to be vulnerable. Yet when God presents opportunities to do so by placing people in my life who also want to talk about God and faith, I do not recognize the fact until later – or worse, I simply let the opportunities pass me by if I do recognize it. I also need to nurture growth with God’s Word. I have been working on this a lot lately, but I do not think that we can ever read enough. When I read the promises of God over and over, it helps me remember that He is at work, even when I cannot see Him at work. Hebrews 11:1 [NASB] says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” I also need to cooperate with God as He works, giving Him praise for what He is doing in my life. Pruning and cutting off may be difficult to deal with and it may hurt at times, but it is for the best. It helps us grow efficiently and produce greater amounts of fruit. And with this fruit we can reach out to people and help them grow. The fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23 are as follows: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I need to be praying for said fruit consistently in order to grow effectively.
All things said and done, I have a lot of growing to do – and I am glad.
Romans 12:1-2 [NIV] says, ‘Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will.’ If, by the time I leave this world, I learn how to grow spiritually in such a way that allows me to live the way Romans 12:1-2 describes, I will most likely consider my life well-lived. I want to be able to use what I have learned and what I know I will learn while growing spiritually to help others in the future. Whether I’m a missionary in the Middle East, a youth pastor in Salt Lake City, Utah, or a stay-at-home mom in goodness knows where, I hope to be able to guide others in developing their spiritual disciplines and growing in their faith.'
......
'Psalm 25:4-7 [NIV] says, ‘Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.’
I feel that this psalm – and more specifically the section of verses above – describes where I am in my walk with God. I want to be taught by Him. I want to be guided by Him. I want to be loved by Him. I want to be forgiven by Him. At times it can be easy to forget that you need all of these things, especially from God. You need to learn. You need to be guided, loved, and forgiven. Because I want and need all of these things, I believe God has brought me to the path I am on. I am where I am for at least one reason, and whether I learn of this reason in five days or five years does not matter. I personally believe it is the here and now that matters. I think God knows that there is something I am searching for in the place where I am, and that is why He has brought me to where I am today. I am constantly seeking something – half the time I do not even know what – and throughout my life He has constantly provided me with the answers I have been looking for. I have not always walked down the straight and narrow path in regards to my faith. I have climbed mountains, I have dug myself into dark trenches. I have walked extremely close with God one day and veered completely off the edge of the map the next. Throughout my trials and accomplishments, sorrows and pleasures, I have made mistakes and learned from them. God is teaching me that I am not perfect. God is teaching me that without Him, I am nothing. And I think that is why He has brought me along the path that I have traveled thus far.
Because of this personal belief, I have come to grow in my faith in more than one way. For example, I have realized how truly wonderful ‘an unhurried life’ is. Taking the time to slow down has become an important aspect of my life. We do have a purpose on this earth and our lives are far too short to rush through everything; I think by rushing we are not able to fully comprehend our purpose and enjoy our fulfillment of what we are meant to do. But even until God reveals that purpose, I think it is important to not rush. God created this earth for our enjoyment, not mere disposal. In my opinion, ‘Take time to smell the roses’ could be, by far, one of the wisest sayings known to mankind. I have also grown through the realization that there is joy and beauty in every situation imaginable. I have lived a fortunate life. I mean, I have never been affected by disease. I have never had to deal with trauma. I have never lived in poverty. I have never been stricken with depression. Sure, I have experienced my share of sadness, frustration, anger… but I have never had to deal with utter tragedy. This is something I am thankful for. Even so, I am curious as to how I would respond to situations where there seems to be no happiness, peace, or joy. I think that God has recently been teaching me how to live with just that – joy. Life is full of those ‘dee dah day’ moments. God gives us gifts daily. It is just a matter of learning how to look for them, grasping them, and fully using them to see God’s own joy and beauty.
Even though I am growing in my faith and am developing what spiritual strengths I do have, there are ways I am completely adverse in regards to growing further and developing those strengths. I believe the first and foremost reason for God putting me on this earth is to wholly worship Him with love, devotion, and dedication. Deuteronomy 6:5 [NIV] says, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength,’ and John 4:23-24 [NIV] says, ‘“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”’ I believe that worship is not merely singing praise to God during church or youth group or chapel services at school. Worship is living your life for God, giving Him everything of yourself, every minute of every day. Yet do I truly live that way? No. As difficult as that may be to admit, it is the truth. It is not that I simply do not focus on Him enough, but it is also that I have turned away from Him entirely before – and more than once. There have been times when I rejected His love, and certainly did not give Him any in return. If that is not falling short of God’s design for me, I do not know what is. I also have not put as much trust in God as I could have. I do not think that I ever tried to put my full trust in Him until this past year, to be honest. I am not a fan of putting my trust in the unseen, the unknown. I like to plan. I like to know what is going to happen. When you put your trust in God, I think you are taking a step towards admitting that you are alright with not knowing what is going to happen. By putting your trust in God, you can be more firm in your beliefs and the faith that you have in Him. I have tried to do things my way, on my time, by my plans for such a long time. This is an absolute weakness and I am constantly striving to place it at the foot of the cross. I trust God. Unfortunately, saying you trust God and completely following through with having trust in Him are two entirely different things. Yet I know that He cares about me enough to have patience with me (ah yes, patience: something I feel I will always be continuing to learn).
I believe it is difficult to place my faith or my walk with God on a scale. Life is constant, but not consistent. It changes with you day-to-day. However, in general, I suppose I would be able to place myself at a five. I know I am always going to have room to grow, no matter where I come to be in life. Certain aspects of my spiritual life are better than others. For example, I would place myself at a nine in regards to prayer, but I would place myself at a four in regards to Scripture reflection or meditation. In four to five years I hope to be at a seven. I want to take things slowly, so that I can absorb as much as possible and get the most out of my relationship with God. I want to be on a slow walk with God.
Of course, there will always be things that hinder our relationship with God. Culture – especially Western culture – is not always very friendly to the believer who is trying to grow spiritually. There are distractions galore in the media, at work, at school, and at home. They come in many forms, such as people, material possessions, success complexes, health problems, violence, and so much more. We are a busy people. We are an independent people. I know that these represent two of my bigger obstacles that I face. Sometimes I always feel like I am going, going, going and that I live in an over-extended lifestyle. However, this is because of choices I have made; I can also choose to move toward the opposite of an over-extended lifestyle. I can choose a life with balance. I believe balance is a key component to healthy spiritual growth. I have to give priority to the important things in life. As of now, those things include God, my family, my health, and my education. Sure, friends are important. Service is, too, as is working. However, if I cannot even focus on my relationship with God, who created me and allows me to even have education, friends, and the ability to serve and work, how can I have all things in my life in order, regardless of priority? Not giving God enough time – and thinking too independently, believing I can do everything on my own – is a large obstacle that I am always striving to overcome.
Fortunately, I am slowly learning how to take larger bounds over these obstacles and by equipping myself with knowledge, as well as practicing spiritual disciplines, I believe I can make a lot of significant progression towards growing in my faith. I think that the righteousness and spiritual growth of mature Christians is not a result of their age or the number of years they have been Christian. I believe it is a result of practicing their disciplines. The willingness to do exactly that is an advantage for spiritual growth, in my opinion. Another advantage would include the fact that I am living in a time and place where I am surrounded by fellow believers. I am not persecuted for my faith in Jesus Christ. I am not cursed or shunned for my beliefs and morals. If I need help with anything, I have people I am able to turn to. I can ask them advice. I can ask them for prayer. I have opportunities to create support systems. Even though I think that we should turn to God with everything first, God does speak through people. We have also been put on this earth to encourage, edify, and grow with one another.
I think that growth can be spurred by many things. We have to want to grow, though. Once we have decided that we do want to grow spiritually, we can then take steps toward doing so. Personally, I know I need to be willing to open up to people more. There are often times when I want to talk about God and my faith, and complain that nobody is willing to be vulnerable. Yet when God presents opportunities to do so by placing people in my life who also want to talk about God and faith, I do not recognize the fact until later – or worse, I simply let the opportunities pass me by if I do recognize it. I also need to nurture growth with God’s Word. I have been working on this a lot lately, but I do not think that we can ever read enough. When I read the promises of God over and over, it helps me remember that He is at work, even when I cannot see Him at work. Hebrews 11:1 [NASB] says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” I also need to cooperate with God as He works, giving Him praise for what He is doing in my life. Pruning and cutting off may be difficult to deal with and it may hurt at times, but it is for the best. It helps us grow efficiently and produce greater amounts of fruit. And with this fruit we can reach out to people and help them grow. The fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23 are as follows: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I need to be praying for said fruit consistently in order to grow effectively.
All things said and done, I have a lot of growing to do – and I am glad.
Romans 12:1-2 [NIV] says, ‘Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will.’ If, by the time I leave this world, I learn how to grow spiritually in such a way that allows me to live the way Romans 12:1-2 describes, I will most likely consider my life well-lived. I want to be able to use what I have learned and what I know I will learn while growing spiritually to help others in the future. Whether I’m a missionary in the Middle East, a youth pastor in Salt Lake City, Utah, or a stay-at-home mom in goodness knows where, I hope to be able to guide others in developing their spiritual disciplines and growing in their faith.'
November 30, 2008
Ch. 261 - Look for Him
We can't afford to look for Jesus in grandiose, immaculate places. He's there, sure. But we really need to be searching in the least of places. We need to go and find Him in the darkest of places. And it is in those dark places we will find Him lifting the darkness, bringing a light to those who need it the most. 'The day is coming where the night will be no more.' We must watch for it. We must be ready for it. We need to help spread His light, the light that He has so willingly given us. And we need to be a generous, outgoing, and loving people. A people of prayer.
' "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." '
[Mark 13:32]
' "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." '
[Mark 13:32]
November 11, 2008
Ch. 242 - Warriors of God
I'll let you in on a secret:
When I am looking for something specific, I often look right over it.
Under it.
Next to it.
Behind it.
It's right there in front of me, but I don't see it.
Maybe it's because I'm too focused on something else.
Maybe I'm in too big a hurry.
Maybe I get too distracted by other things.
And I'll get frustrated.
In typical Natalie-fashion, I'll go to my mom (who is the boss and in charge of the Keene household). She, in turn, will go straight to what I've been looking for, point it out, and give me the look that I have all too well come to associate with this type of situation.
I knew it was there the entire time - I could sense it - but my eyes were not open. And then, as soon as someone points it out to me, they are opened and I see clearly.
Something similar happened to me this morning.
Before I continue, I must tell you how much I love the school I'm attending, Central Christian College of the Bible. I really do love it. I love the people here, I love the campus itself, I love my teachers, my classes. There's simply something very special about it. It is a beautiful light in a dark community and I am honored to be part of it. I definitely feel that I belong at Central and that God placed me here for a reason. I'm still figuring out what that reason is, but [thankfully] I finally have the patience to not mind taking things one day at a time. Now, also understand that I'm not saying Central and the people involved with the school are without fault. There are weaknesses, breaks in the chain. There are people here whose hearts are not right with God, for example. But I don't want to focus on the 'bad' aspects, because I believe there is more positive than there is negative in this place.
But this morning, my eyes were opened to something that is of a negative nature. Something dark. Something that hurts. Something that destroys. It's not like I've never experienced it before. I've dealt with it. Faced it. Been kicked down by it.
This 'it' is the enemy.
You may think, 'Uh, Natalie, you're at a Bible college...
How could Satan affect anything?
You're all surrounded by fellow believers.
Satan can't touch you.'
Here's the deal. This morning in my SALT class, my small group leader mentioned that she had received a text from our teacher about a veil of darkness that was over our school, and that we are truly under spiritual warfare with the enemy - and that we should pray about it. As soon as my leader read the text, my heart skipped a couple of beats. That was it. For the last month or so, I've felt something was... off. Not with myself entirely - but in general... something was not right. I've felt uneasy. Uncomfortable. So as soon as it was said, I realized just how true it is.
As aforementioned, I said our school is a light in the community it's situated in. I like to think we do a lot of good for a lot of people. We're working hard. We're sharing the love, spreading the Word. And through it all - studies, devotionals, personal time with God, etc. included - we are drawing closer to God. But the closer we draw near to Him, the more frustrated Satan becomes... and the more he tries to pull us down. Unfortunately, it's working. I say this from personal experience these past few weeks, as well as from learning of others' misfortunes and stories of the attacks they've felt on their spirits and hearts lately.
One thing the school's really been working on is prayer - and this is a great, great thing. Prayer is one of our greatest weapons against the enemy. We can't let our guard down, though. It needs to be constant. And we need to constantly be worshiping God with our lives - not just during chapel or on Sunday mornings. I think Christianity is a lifestyle. It's a tough lifestyle, though. You have to work at it. You have to learn to persevere. You can't become accustomed to giving up easily. You have to be in the here and now. You can't worry about tomorrow or the next day. Fortunately, God is always with us. We can lean on Him. We can trust Him. We can depend on Him. We can talk to Him. He does give us strength. He does give us love. He does give us answers. But we should give everything to Him. He wants our joys. He wants our struggles. He wants us, just as we are. He wants a relationship.
I think that's something we forget often. And I think that's a weakness that Satan is using against us. We focus so much on school or work or completing service hours [or finding a spouse...], and not enough on our relationship with God. I also think that we are not a united body in Christ. There are always going to be cliques. There is always going to be gossip. There are always going to be childish, immature games being played. But we're not working at repelling any of this. And it's affecting our relationships with one another. And if we're to be worshiping God with our entire lives, it affects our relationship with Him, as well. So it's important that we fight these things, because all it is is Satan wanting to come between ourselves and God.
I know this is becoming quite the novel, and that it's sort of all over the place. I don't really know where I'm going. But it's all been on my heart lately, so I thought I would just get it out there. It's just sad that the closer we get to God, the more Satan tries to pull us away from Him. Fortunately, it only makes us stronger in the end. And I suppose it's a good sign when we are attacked, because it can only mean that we are doing something right.
'Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.'
[Psalm 105:4]
When I am looking for something specific, I often look right over it.
Under it.
Next to it.
Behind it.
It's right there in front of me, but I don't see it.
Maybe it's because I'm too focused on something else.
Maybe I'm in too big a hurry.
Maybe I get too distracted by other things.
And I'll get frustrated.
In typical Natalie-fashion, I'll go to my mom (who is the boss and in charge of the Keene household). She, in turn, will go straight to what I've been looking for, point it out, and give me the look that I have all too well come to associate with this type of situation.
I knew it was there the entire time - I could sense it - but my eyes were not open. And then, as soon as someone points it out to me, they are opened and I see clearly.
Something similar happened to me this morning.
Before I continue, I must tell you how much I love the school I'm attending, Central Christian College of the Bible. I really do love it. I love the people here, I love the campus itself, I love my teachers, my classes. There's simply something very special about it. It is a beautiful light in a dark community and I am honored to be part of it. I definitely feel that I belong at Central and that God placed me here for a reason. I'm still figuring out what that reason is, but [thankfully] I finally have the patience to not mind taking things one day at a time. Now, also understand that I'm not saying Central and the people involved with the school are without fault. There are weaknesses, breaks in the chain. There are people here whose hearts are not right with God, for example. But I don't want to focus on the 'bad' aspects, because I believe there is more positive than there is negative in this place.
But this morning, my eyes were opened to something that is of a negative nature. Something dark. Something that hurts. Something that destroys. It's not like I've never experienced it before. I've dealt with it. Faced it. Been kicked down by it.
This 'it' is the enemy.
You may think, 'Uh, Natalie, you're at a Bible college...
How could Satan affect anything?
You're all surrounded by fellow believers.
Satan can't touch you.'
Here's the deal. This morning in my SALT class, my small group leader mentioned that she had received a text from our teacher about a veil of darkness that was over our school, and that we are truly under spiritual warfare with the enemy - and that we should pray about it. As soon as my leader read the text, my heart skipped a couple of beats. That was it. For the last month or so, I've felt something was... off. Not with myself entirely - but in general... something was not right. I've felt uneasy. Uncomfortable. So as soon as it was said, I realized just how true it is.
As aforementioned, I said our school is a light in the community it's situated in. I like to think we do a lot of good for a lot of people. We're working hard. We're sharing the love, spreading the Word. And through it all - studies, devotionals, personal time with God, etc. included - we are drawing closer to God. But the closer we draw near to Him, the more frustrated Satan becomes... and the more he tries to pull us down. Unfortunately, it's working. I say this from personal experience these past few weeks, as well as from learning of others' misfortunes and stories of the attacks they've felt on their spirits and hearts lately.
One thing the school's really been working on is prayer - and this is a great, great thing. Prayer is one of our greatest weapons against the enemy. We can't let our guard down, though. It needs to be constant. And we need to constantly be worshiping God with our lives - not just during chapel or on Sunday mornings. I think Christianity is a lifestyle. It's a tough lifestyle, though. You have to work at it. You have to learn to persevere. You can't become accustomed to giving up easily. You have to be in the here and now. You can't worry about tomorrow or the next day. Fortunately, God is always with us. We can lean on Him. We can trust Him. We can depend on Him. We can talk to Him. He does give us strength. He does give us love. He does give us answers. But we should give everything to Him. He wants our joys. He wants our struggles. He wants us, just as we are. He wants a relationship.
I think that's something we forget often. And I think that's a weakness that Satan is using against us. We focus so much on school or work or completing service hours [or finding a spouse...], and not enough on our relationship with God. I also think that we are not a united body in Christ. There are always going to be cliques. There is always going to be gossip. There are always going to be childish, immature games being played. But we're not working at repelling any of this. And it's affecting our relationships with one another. And if we're to be worshiping God with our entire lives, it affects our relationship with Him, as well. So it's important that we fight these things, because all it is is Satan wanting to come between ourselves and God.
I know this is becoming quite the novel, and that it's sort of all over the place. I don't really know where I'm going. But it's all been on my heart lately, so I thought I would just get it out there. It's just sad that the closer we get to God, the more Satan tries to pull us away from Him. Fortunately, it only makes us stronger in the end. And I suppose it's a good sign when we are attacked, because it can only mean that we are doing something right.
'Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.'
[Psalm 105:4]
October 21, 2008
Ch. 225 - Working At It
I'm really getting back into prayer. I was good about it up to about the end of September, when one day I just sort of stopped caring. Terrible.
But since I've truly devoted myself to spending more time with God, praying to and talking with Him, things have been so much better for me. I am so blessed.
'Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.'
[Colossians 4:2]
But since I've truly devoted myself to spending more time with God, praying to and talking with Him, things have been so much better for me. I am so blessed.
'Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.'
[Colossians 4:2]
September 29, 2008
Ch. 203 - Don't You Remember?
I made a commitment to God almost nine months ago (see Ch. 5). A commitment that I hope to never break. A commitment that I shouldn't wait to start living my life by. A commitment that means everything to me.
I have felt like such a punk lately. Honestly, I've just slipped away from the world, it seems - and I've also slipped away from God. I try to dive into His word and as soon as I open my Bible I want to put it down. I try to speak my mind and heart to God and I find my mind wandering. I don't really give Him my undivided attention. I let situations and circumstances from the past control my thoughts and emotions and that is not fair.
It's not fair to me.
It's not fair to my friends and peers.
It's not fair to my God.
This has to be the longest valley I've ever traveled. I feel like I'm walking on sand. Let me tell you... I am more than ready to let God put me on stable ground and help me start climbing a mountain.
I give my life to you, God.
Take from me my burdens.
Make my heart new.
Restore my soul.
Pour out your love, mercy and grace unto me so that I may overflow unto others.
Use me.
'But your hearts must be fully committed to the Lord our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands, as at this time.'
[1 Kings 8:61]
I have felt like such a punk lately. Honestly, I've just slipped away from the world, it seems - and I've also slipped away from God. I try to dive into His word and as soon as I open my Bible I want to put it down. I try to speak my mind and heart to God and I find my mind wandering. I don't really give Him my undivided attention. I let situations and circumstances from the past control my thoughts and emotions and that is not fair.
It's not fair to me.
It's not fair to my friends and peers.
It's not fair to my God.
This has to be the longest valley I've ever traveled. I feel like I'm walking on sand. Let me tell you... I am more than ready to let God put me on stable ground and help me start climbing a mountain.
I give my life to you, God.
Take from me my burdens.
Make my heart new.
Restore my soul.
Pour out your love, mercy and grace unto me so that I may overflow unto others.
Use me.
'But your hearts must be fully committed to the Lord our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands, as at this time.'
[1 Kings 8:61]
August 28, 2008
Ch. 176 - Everything is "Fine"
Just because I'm surrounded by many believers who know and love Jesus Christ doesn't mean I'm not surrounded by many believers who are hurting.
I didn't know I was scheduled for a rude awakening tonight until it was happening right before my eyes. We had a floor meeting. It was the first time for my meeting many of the girls on my floor, so it was nice to finally put names with faces I've seen. Standard procedure, I suppose. Attendance sheet passed around. Introductions. Announcements. Open dorm theme voting. It's going just fine. You can see smiles all around the group and a lot of laughter breaks out here and there.
Then come the prayer concerns.
Well, at first nobody said anything. Then our RA mentioned something that was going on in her life; once she had spoken, it was like the dam had broken. Soon all of this stuff came rushing forward.
Sad stuff.
Angry stuff.
Troublesome stuff.
Heartbreaking stuff.
You could hear the hurt in the voices.
You could see the worry in the eyes.
You could feel the anxiety in the air.
Naturally, you likely wouldn't be able to figure out that anything was wrong if you were to speak with these people. But it's there. Lurking under the surface. I don't think these girls are looking for pity. I don't think these girls are looking for sorrow.
Prayer.
Encouragement.
Strength.
Community.
That's what these girls are looking for.
That's what these girls need.
And I know I can't save the world. I'm not a superhero. But my heart went out to these girls and it's like I want to do everything possible to make things good for them. I think they're in a beautiful place to be during these difficult points in their lives (meaning to be here at Central Christian College of the Bible). I know these daunting situations are not meant by God to bring grief, but growth. But when you add in work schedules, six or so classes, mandatory service hours, relationships (whether that means friends, significant others, or both), and whatever else... the stress level increases pretty rapidly. And that's not good.
I just pray that God will place His healing hand over all of these people and that His spirit of peace and comfort will wash over them. I simply hope they just give everything to Him and completely put their trust in Him. God has a plan for all. And He is good. All the time.
'Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.'
[Psalm 34:8]
......
Chapter 176, Part Two:
This week's memory verse:
'Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.'
[1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NASB]
I didn't know I was scheduled for a rude awakening tonight until it was happening right before my eyes. We had a floor meeting. It was the first time for my meeting many of the girls on my floor, so it was nice to finally put names with faces I've seen. Standard procedure, I suppose. Attendance sheet passed around. Introductions. Announcements. Open dorm theme voting. It's going just fine. You can see smiles all around the group and a lot of laughter breaks out here and there.
Then come the prayer concerns.
Well, at first nobody said anything. Then our RA mentioned something that was going on in her life; once she had spoken, it was like the dam had broken. Soon all of this stuff came rushing forward.
Sad stuff.
Angry stuff.
Troublesome stuff.
Heartbreaking stuff.
You could hear the hurt in the voices.
You could see the worry in the eyes.
You could feel the anxiety in the air.
Naturally, you likely wouldn't be able to figure out that anything was wrong if you were to speak with these people. But it's there. Lurking under the surface. I don't think these girls are looking for pity. I don't think these girls are looking for sorrow.
Prayer.
Encouragement.
Strength.
Community.
That's what these girls are looking for.
That's what these girls need.
And I know I can't save the world. I'm not a superhero. But my heart went out to these girls and it's like I want to do everything possible to make things good for them. I think they're in a beautiful place to be during these difficult points in their lives (meaning to be here at Central Christian College of the Bible). I know these daunting situations are not meant by God to bring grief, but growth. But when you add in work schedules, six or so classes, mandatory service hours, relationships (whether that means friends, significant others, or both), and whatever else... the stress level increases pretty rapidly. And that's not good.
I just pray that God will place His healing hand over all of these people and that His spirit of peace and comfort will wash over them. I simply hope they just give everything to Him and completely put their trust in Him. God has a plan for all. And He is good. All the time.
'Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.'
[Psalm 34:8]
......
Chapter 176, Part Two:
This week's memory verse:
'Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.'
[1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NASB]
August 27, 2008
Ch. 175 - Prayerful Consideration
Something hit me today. I came to the realization that I've been a lot better about prayer since coming to Central. Before I do anything, I pray. Eating. Sleeping. Studying. Reading. Hanging out. Before class (whether it's led by teachers or not). After class.
Why is that?
Why is it that now that I happen to be at Bible college I'm all about prayer again?
I don't think I make it apparent that I'm praying a lot. I mean, Jesus told us to 'not be like the hypocrites and pray standing in the synagogues on the street corners to be seen by men.' [Matthew 6:5] There's no reward in doing so.
Why can't I be about prayer all the time?
When I'm not at school - whether I'm at Bible college is irrelevant.
When I'm not at church or chapel.
When things are going really well.
When things are not going really well.
When there are specific people I'm praying for.
When there are not specific people I'm praying for.
I suppose I've come to the conclusion that whenever I'm really focusing on God in my life and am surrounded by fellow believers who are doing the same and encouraging one another, I pray more often.
That shouldn't be the case. If anything, I should be praying more when I'm not around fellow believers and when I know I'm not focusing on God for anything, whether it's discussion with friends, schoolwork, preparation for teaching Sunday school, etc.
'Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.'
[James 5:16]
Why is that?
Why is it that now that I happen to be at Bible college I'm all about prayer again?
I don't think I make it apparent that I'm praying a lot. I mean, Jesus told us to 'not be like the hypocrites and pray standing in the synagogues on the street corners to be seen by men.' [Matthew 6:5] There's no reward in doing so.
Why can't I be about prayer all the time?
When I'm not at school - whether I'm at Bible college is irrelevant.
When I'm not at church or chapel.
When things are going really well.
When things are not going really well.
When there are specific people I'm praying for.
When there are not specific people I'm praying for.
I suppose I've come to the conclusion that whenever I'm really focusing on God in my life and am surrounded by fellow believers who are doing the same and encouraging one another, I pray more often.
That shouldn't be the case. If anything, I should be praying more when I'm not around fellow believers and when I know I'm not focusing on God for anything, whether it's discussion with friends, schoolwork, preparation for teaching Sunday school, etc.
'Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.'
[James 5:16]
August 12, 2008
Ch. 160 - I've Lost Count
Ahhh... the power of prayer.
God is good.
All the time.
'This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him.'
[1 John 5:14-15]
God is good.
All the time.
'This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him.'
[1 John 5:14-15]
July 19, 2008
Ch. 136 - Falling On My Knees
I've been asking for something from God for awhile now. 57 days, to be precise. I'm starting to become anxious as to whether I'll receive it or not. I mean, for all I know I could receive it in five days - or five years. When I say 'it' I don't mean an actual thing... it's more of a feeling than anything. And I know when I'll receive it. It's just one of those things, you know?
I'm expecting it.
I think everything is going to be alright.
No.
I know everything is going to be alright.
'Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.'
[James 1:4-6]
I'm expecting it.
I think everything is going to be alright.
No.
I know everything is going to be alright.
'Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.'
[James 1:4-6]
July 17, 2008
Ch. 134 - The Thanksgiving
I worked outside in the yard for a long time today. It was a very pleasant day. A bit on the humid side - but I love warm, humid weather, so I was quite content. The sun was shining in a perfect, cerulean sky, a slight breeze blew across my face every so often... and for most of the day I had a cardinal singing to me while I worked. Truly, a beautiful day.
Now, once you've got a set task in mind and decide to start and you're up to your elbows in dirt, yard work doesn't require a lot of thinking. Just doing. So I had a lot of space for thought - and a lot of time to think. Thus, I did just that. I thought about all kinds of things. Of 'shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings'. Alright, so maybe I didn't think of said things. But I certainly could have! No, instead I thought about things along the lines of family and friends, future times and God. Surprise, surprise, eh? I must say, though, that sometimes I don't know what will come up next as I let my mind wander on random thoughts. So yes, at times my own thoughts surprise me. Or more like the way I get to thinking about something surprises me. For example, at the end of it all I'll think, 'How did I get from thinking about strawberries to my pillow, and then from my pillow to God? Honestly, Natalie.' [True thought, by the way.]
Anyway. Before I knew it, I was thinking about God. Same ol', same ol', really. How cool He is. How big and small He is. How loving He is. And before I knew it, I found myself thanking God for basically everything I could think of. And I mean everything. It was really a nice time to do so. I was living in a perfect day. In the presence of a perfect God. How could I not be thankful for, in fact, everything?
I've said before that I need to give thanks to God more often. If I am to truly worship Him every minute of every day by living my life for Him, it should take up more of my time than it presently does. I feel a mid-year resolution coming on...
'Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.'
[Ephesians 5:19-20]
......
Ch. 134, Part Two:
This week's memory verse:
'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.'
[1 John 1:9]
Now, once you've got a set task in mind and decide to start and you're up to your elbows in dirt, yard work doesn't require a lot of thinking. Just doing. So I had a lot of space for thought - and a lot of time to think. Thus, I did just that. I thought about all kinds of things. Of 'shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings'. Alright, so maybe I didn't think of said things. But I certainly could have! No, instead I thought about things along the lines of family and friends, future times and God. Surprise, surprise, eh? I must say, though, that sometimes I don't know what will come up next as I let my mind wander on random thoughts. So yes, at times my own thoughts surprise me. Or more like the way I get to thinking about something surprises me. For example, at the end of it all I'll think, 'How did I get from thinking about strawberries to my pillow, and then from my pillow to God? Honestly, Natalie.' [True thought, by the way.]
Anyway. Before I knew it, I was thinking about God. Same ol', same ol', really. How cool He is. How big and small He is. How loving He is. And before I knew it, I found myself thanking God for basically everything I could think of. And I mean everything. It was really a nice time to do so. I was living in a perfect day. In the presence of a perfect God. How could I not be thankful for, in fact, everything?
I've said before that I need to give thanks to God more often. If I am to truly worship Him every minute of every day by living my life for Him, it should take up more of my time than it presently does. I feel a mid-year resolution coming on...
'Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.'
[Ephesians 5:19-20]
......
Ch. 134, Part Two:
This week's memory verse:
'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.'
[1 John 1:9]
May 27, 2008
Ch. 83 - Faith
"True faith is never found alone; it is accompanied by expectation."
- C.S. Lewis
A few months ago at Cru, we were given pieces of paper with quotes on them. There were five different quotes, and this is the first I'd like to focus on. I'm really glad that I kept these little slips of paper; I had pinned them up on my desk's bulletin board that night after Cru and they remained there even when I was walking away from Christ. When I was moving to the summer dorm I took them down and put them in my memory box. I just put them up on my board yesterday and I keep reading them again and again and again.
"True faith is never found alone; it is accompanied by expectation."
The first thing that comes to my mind when I read or say this is a verse from Hebrews:
'Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.'
[Hebrews 11:1, NASB]
The first time I had truly heard and read this verse was a couple years ago. Our head pastor, Harlan, was giving the sermon and he had the congregation repeat this verse a good ten times throughout his sermon. He believes it to be one of those verses that we should all have memorized. And I agree.
Harlan used the NASB (New American Standard Bible) translation and I'm glad. It has a nice ring to it, you know? So this is the version that I have committed to memory. However, the NIV (New International Version) translation works better with the quote, I think:
'Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.'
[Hebrews 11:1, NIV]
Expectation is found alongside faith. We will set expectations from our God through our faith. We will expect God to do. To give. To love. To speak. To heal. To forgive. But is it all of a shallow faith? To have faith in a God whom we believe will do anything for us - going through the motions, expecting something from Him all the time. We have to expect things from God. If we want to be forgiven, we have to ask for it while thoroughly believing that He will forgive us. Otherwise what's the point of asking?
"Hey God. Umm... I kind of need you to forgive me for what I said yesterday. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. I mean, you don't have to. And if you can't, that's ok. Like, it's no big deal, you know? But yeah. Sweet. Uhh, 'nJesusnameIprayAmen."
This is not the way to go about it. First of all, if you say that God doesn't have to, then why are you asking in the first place? Secondly, who are you to question whether God can do something? He can do anything! And He's done everything by giving us His Son. Even so, He doesn't expect anything from us but belief and love. Yet He still wants to share in our hopes and our failures and our dreams and our misfortunes and yes, our expectations. We can give it all to Him if we so desire.
If you have anything on your heart right now - whatever it may be - I challenge you to share it with God. Know - expect - that He is listening and that He cares.
'The desire of the righteous ends only in good, but the hope of the wicked only in wrath.'
[Proverb 11:23]
......
Ch. Eighty-Two, Part Two:
After I finished writing this post, I went to www.christnotes.com because all of a sudden it just came into my head; I hadn't visited this site for about two and a half months. I checked the Daily Bible Verse, and guess what it was?
Hebrews 11:1,3
I just laughed and laughed and laughed when I saw that.
[Verse 3 says: 'By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.']
- C.S. Lewis
A few months ago at Cru, we were given pieces of paper with quotes on them. There were five different quotes, and this is the first I'd like to focus on. I'm really glad that I kept these little slips of paper; I had pinned them up on my desk's bulletin board that night after Cru and they remained there even when I was walking away from Christ. When I was moving to the summer dorm I took them down and put them in my memory box. I just put them up on my board yesterday and I keep reading them again and again and again.
"True faith is never found alone; it is accompanied by expectation."
The first thing that comes to my mind when I read or say this is a verse from Hebrews:
'Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.'
[Hebrews 11:1, NASB]
The first time I had truly heard and read this verse was a couple years ago. Our head pastor, Harlan, was giving the sermon and he had the congregation repeat this verse a good ten times throughout his sermon. He believes it to be one of those verses that we should all have memorized. And I agree.
Harlan used the NASB (New American Standard Bible) translation and I'm glad. It has a nice ring to it, you know? So this is the version that I have committed to memory. However, the NIV (New International Version) translation works better with the quote, I think:
'Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.'
[Hebrews 11:1, NIV]
Expectation is found alongside faith. We will set expectations from our God through our faith. We will expect God to do. To give. To love. To speak. To heal. To forgive. But is it all of a shallow faith? To have faith in a God whom we believe will do anything for us - going through the motions, expecting something from Him all the time. We have to expect things from God. If we want to be forgiven, we have to ask for it while thoroughly believing that He will forgive us. Otherwise what's the point of asking?
"Hey God. Umm... I kind of need you to forgive me for what I said yesterday. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. I mean, you don't have to. And if you can't, that's ok. Like, it's no big deal, you know? But yeah. Sweet. Uhh, 'nJesusnameIprayAmen."
This is not the way to go about it. First of all, if you say that God doesn't have to, then why are you asking in the first place? Secondly, who are you to question whether God can do something? He can do anything! And He's done everything by giving us His Son. Even so, He doesn't expect anything from us but belief and love. Yet He still wants to share in our hopes and our failures and our dreams and our misfortunes and yes, our expectations. We can give it all to Him if we so desire.
If you have anything on your heart right now - whatever it may be - I challenge you to share it with God. Know - expect - that He is listening and that He cares.
'The desire of the righteous ends only in good, but the hope of the wicked only in wrath.'
[Proverb 11:23]
......
Ch. Eighty-Two, Part Two:
After I finished writing this post, I went to www.christnotes.com because all of a sudden it just came into my head; I hadn't visited this site for about two and a half months. I checked the Daily Bible Verse, and guess what it was?
Hebrews 11:1,3
I just laughed and laughed and laughed when I saw that.
[Verse 3 says: 'By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.']
March 19, 2008
Ch. 64 - Cray
I love to pray.
I love to cry.
I pray often.
I cry rarely.
So when I do, it's usually a big deal.
However, I must admit that I do cry a lot when I laugh. It just sort of happens. Whatever I'm laughing at doesn't even have to be very funny - and I don't have to have been laughing for a long time. Seven seconds of laughing? Tears well up. Fifteen seconds of laughing? A couple of tears roll down my cheeks. Twenty-two seconds of laughing? It will look like I've been bawling. If you've ever seen Steel Magnolias, there's a part at the end where the character Truvy says, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." I think it's the other way around for me; I just love tears through laughter.
Going back to praying and crying...
Now, you can let a few tears fall and call it crying, or you can go the whole nine yards and let tears stream down your face, sob, perhaps utter a few incomprehensible words... you know - cry out, really. So when you cry out while you're praying, you're craying. I've crayed only twice ever: a good month and a half, two months ago, and last night. It just sort of happens. Partly out of self-pity, anger with people [and God, believe it or not] and feeling distant from God. I love simply crying out to God in anguish and fear and desperation. Both times I've done this I've felt so much better afterwards and so at peace. The self-pity and anger take flight and I do, in fact, feel closer to God. It's really a splendid feeling when it's all said and done.
The Bible tells us that it is ok to cry out to God. The Bible also tells us that God hears every prayer and that He will answer our prayers. Even Jesus cried out to God.
'About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" - which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" '
[Matthew 27:46]
A few weeks ago I did a personal study of Psalm 86. It's a supplication for help against the psalmist's enemies. But it also gives praise to God. First, the psalmist offers his plea to God and gives reasons as to why his prayer should be heard. Then he gives praise to God. Next he gives a description of his enemies and God, making promises to follow God and praise him if He helps him. The last three verses are a conjunction of the first three parts, an amplification of his plea.
This psalm is now easily one of my favorites. It taught me a lot. God wants it all. And we shouldn't be afraid to give everything to Him. I think it pleases Him more than anything when we want to do this. I believe he wants to share in our joys... our sorrows... our troubles... our excitement... our anger. He simply wants to be a part of our lives. When we let Him in, He gives back. He will listen to our cries for mercy (Psalm 86:6). He will teach us His ways and give us undivided hearts (Psalm 86:11). He will answer us - help us - love us.
I am so blessed to have a God that cares for me as much as I know He does, and to have a God that I know is always there for me... and to have a God that I know listens to me, whether I am thinking quiet thoughts about Him or craying loudly to Him.
'I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way.'
[Psalm 142:1-3]
I love to cry.
I pray often.
I cry rarely.
So when I do, it's usually a big deal.
However, I must admit that I do cry a lot when I laugh. It just sort of happens. Whatever I'm laughing at doesn't even have to be very funny - and I don't have to have been laughing for a long time. Seven seconds of laughing? Tears well up. Fifteen seconds of laughing? A couple of tears roll down my cheeks. Twenty-two seconds of laughing? It will look like I've been bawling. If you've ever seen Steel Magnolias, there's a part at the end where the character Truvy says, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." I think it's the other way around for me; I just love tears through laughter.
Going back to praying and crying...
Now, you can let a few tears fall and call it crying, or you can go the whole nine yards and let tears stream down your face, sob, perhaps utter a few incomprehensible words... you know - cry out, really. So when you cry out while you're praying, you're craying. I've crayed only twice ever: a good month and a half, two months ago, and last night. It just sort of happens. Partly out of self-pity, anger with people [and God, believe it or not] and feeling distant from God. I love simply crying out to God in anguish and fear and desperation. Both times I've done this I've felt so much better afterwards and so at peace. The self-pity and anger take flight and I do, in fact, feel closer to God. It's really a splendid feeling when it's all said and done.
The Bible tells us that it is ok to cry out to God. The Bible also tells us that God hears every prayer and that He will answer our prayers. Even Jesus cried out to God.
'About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" - which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" '
[Matthew 27:46]
A few weeks ago I did a personal study of Psalm 86. It's a supplication for help against the psalmist's enemies. But it also gives praise to God. First, the psalmist offers his plea to God and gives reasons as to why his prayer should be heard. Then he gives praise to God. Next he gives a description of his enemies and God, making promises to follow God and praise him if He helps him. The last three verses are a conjunction of the first three parts, an amplification of his plea.
This psalm is now easily one of my favorites. It taught me a lot. God wants it all. And we shouldn't be afraid to give everything to Him. I think it pleases Him more than anything when we want to do this. I believe he wants to share in our joys... our sorrows... our troubles... our excitement... our anger. He simply wants to be a part of our lives. When we let Him in, He gives back. He will listen to our cries for mercy (Psalm 86:6). He will teach us His ways and give us undivided hearts (Psalm 86:11). He will answer us - help us - love us.
I am so blessed to have a God that cares for me as much as I know He does, and to have a God that I know is always there for me... and to have a God that I know listens to me, whether I am thinking quiet thoughts about Him or craying loudly to Him.
'I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way.'
[Psalm 142:1-3]
March 10, 2008
Ch. 54 - Perfect Timing
I went over to the prayer room this evening instead of going to The Mount. InterVarsity hosts these 24/7 Prayers; for one week they open up their house's prayer room for 24 hours, trying to have someone in the room praying... 24/7. IV did this last term and I really enjoyed it. After the 24/7 week the prayer room is open during the day. I've been a couple times since then - definitely not enough. I had actually signed up for a slot last Friday, but had gone to SugarHouse Park with Katie and Darcy to run and didn't return until after my time. Oops! David called me earlier this afternoon asking if I wanted to sign up for a new slot and told me of open times; I really wanted to go that evening, so that's exactly what I did!
And you know what?
That single hour of prayer was exactly what I needed. For the past few weeks I had felt as if I was drowning - but that prayer time was the burst of energy I needed to resurface, as well as the first gulp of fresh air. Beautiful.
I'm so grateful.
I also wanted to mention how encouraging it was to see that my dear friend, Abbie, read the note that I had made out of Ch. Fifty-Three (which I posted on Facebook). She noted it was one of three God surprises in her weekend and I was just happy that she's turning back to Jesus.
God works in wonderful ways.
I'm running, Abba. Here I come.
'Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them - the Lord, who remains faithful forever.'
[Psalm 146:5-6]
And you know what?
That single hour of prayer was exactly what I needed. For the past few weeks I had felt as if I was drowning - but that prayer time was the burst of energy I needed to resurface, as well as the first gulp of fresh air. Beautiful.
I'm so grateful.
I also wanted to mention how encouraging it was to see that my dear friend, Abbie, read the note that I had made out of Ch. Fifty-Three (which I posted on Facebook). She noted it was one of three God surprises in her weekend and I was just happy that she's turning back to Jesus.
God works in wonderful ways.
I'm running, Abba. Here I come.
'Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them - the Lord, who remains faithful forever.'
[Psalm 146:5-6]
March 2, 2008
Ch. 46 - Move, Mountain!
I've decided to use a devotional as a cop-out, if you will, for today's 'chapter.' I received this in my mail today and it was really a blessing. It definitely spoke to me... I know that God wants me to overcome this obstacle. Not just step around it, dig under it, or backtrack to find another way to advance in my walk - but to completely soar over the hurdle that's right in front of me. I will ask for God's strength to do so, but I realize that this one's up to me. I can't be afraid anymore. I'm going to have to throw the first punch again - but this time I'm not holding back, because I finally don't care that my mountain will definitely hit me in return.
Speak to Your Mountain
' "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him." '
[Mark 11:23]
"Talk to mountains? Do you think I'm crazy?" Jesus talked to things, and taught that 'anyone' could also speak to mountains. A mountain is primarily any obstacle that stands in your way. Faced with obstacles, most Christians pray to God. But Jesus told us to speak directly to the obstacle and tell it to be removed.
There is nothing wrong with discussing things with God. You should. But when something is blocking your progress, Jesus said you should tell it to get out of the way. Most Christians just speak to God about the mountain, instead of following Jesus' directions and speaking directly to the mountain.
Are you just talking to God about the problems in your life, instead of talking directly to the problems and telling them to be removed?
'He replied, "Because you have so little faith, I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." ' [Matthew 17:20]
According to Jesus, unbelief keeps us from speaking to our mountains. What is the mountain in your life? What stands in the way of your progress? What holds you back from going forward and fulfilling God's plan?
Speak God's Word to that mountain! Speak to the devil and his forces and tell them to get out of your affairs. Speak to sickness and tell it that it can't stay in your body. Speak to debt and financial lack and tell them to be removed from your life. Speak to doubt, fear and worry and tell them to be gone.
If you say, "I just can't believe it would do any good for me to talk to problems," that's why you still have them.
Read what Jesus said again, and again, then say this: "I will speak to the mountains that try to hold me back."
Speak to Your Mountain
' "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him." '
[Mark 11:23]
"Talk to mountains? Do you think I'm crazy?" Jesus talked to things, and taught that 'anyone' could also speak to mountains. A mountain is primarily any obstacle that stands in your way. Faced with obstacles, most Christians pray to God. But Jesus told us to speak directly to the obstacle and tell it to be removed.
There is nothing wrong with discussing things with God. You should. But when something is blocking your progress, Jesus said you should tell it to get out of the way. Most Christians just speak to God about the mountain, instead of following Jesus' directions and speaking directly to the mountain.
Are you just talking to God about the problems in your life, instead of talking directly to the problems and telling them to be removed?
'He replied, "Because you have so little faith, I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." ' [Matthew 17:20]
According to Jesus, unbelief keeps us from speaking to our mountains. What is the mountain in your life? What stands in the way of your progress? What holds you back from going forward and fulfilling God's plan?
Speak God's Word to that mountain! Speak to the devil and his forces and tell them to get out of your affairs. Speak to sickness and tell it that it can't stay in your body. Speak to debt and financial lack and tell them to be removed from your life. Speak to doubt, fear and worry and tell them to be gone.
If you say, "I just can't believe it would do any good for me to talk to problems," that's why you still have them.
Read what Jesus said again, and again, then say this: "I will speak to the mountains that try to hold me back."
February 22, 2008
Ch. 38 - 24 Prayers
Today was a full day of prayer. Once an hour, for twenty-four hours, I set ten minutes aside to pray. I've had such trouble sleeping these past few days, basically not sleeping at all, so I figured why not use those hours for something other than reading, doing homework, and running? So from 5:00 PM yesterday to 5:00 PM today, I prayed once an hour. I've done these days of prayer before, but it had never been as meaningful or beautiful. I didn't take as much time to listen to God so much as I took time to simply talk to Him, and that was okay. Truly okay.
God talks to me and helps me when I talk to Him, holding nothing back but technically not asking for anything specific, as He does when I do just that. He guides me through my own thoughts as I pray and I can feel my heart swell and beat with the Holy Spirit.
That's probably my favorite feeling in the world.
Followed up by the feeling of adrenaline racing through my veins - especially when going fast. That's right. Just... fast.]
Favorites, favorites, favorites. I could talk about favorite things, people, activities, foods, discussion topics, places... you name it... for hours.
It's just neat that as today has run its course, I've come to realize that this day of 24 prayers is going to become one of my favorite things to do. Lovely.
' "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." '
[Matthew 6:5-6]
I am a hypocrite.
God talks to me and helps me when I talk to Him, holding nothing back but technically not asking for anything specific, as He does when I do just that. He guides me through my own thoughts as I pray and I can feel my heart swell and beat with the Holy Spirit.
That's probably my favorite feeling in the world.
Followed up by the feeling of adrenaline racing through my veins - especially when going fast. That's right. Just... fast.]
Favorites, favorites, favorites. I could talk about favorite things, people, activities, foods, discussion topics, places... you name it... for hours.
It's just neat that as today has run its course, I've come to realize that this day of 24 prayers is going to become one of my favorite things to do. Lovely.
' "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." '
[Matthew 6:5-6]
I am a hypocrite.
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