Spirit.
Holy Ghost.
Comforter.
Counselor.
Helper.
Wind of God.
Fire of God.
Oil of God.
Rain of God.
Holy Spirit.
Whatever you want to call Him, He is greatly debated and discussed - probably just as much so as Jesus or God in general... and if not more so than the other Two within the Christian community.
My views of the Holy Spirit have changed over time, especially within the last two years. I went from not even realizing He was GOD to thinking He was just a come-and-go type of presence, and then from thinking He was only for those "super-Christians" to believing and knowing that He is very real and very available to those who confess Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
It is my fear that most Christians simply live their lives 'knowing' about the Holy Spirit, and not living by the Holy Spirit, fully believing in Him and what He can do. This is such a shame... I think a relationship with God includes fellowship with Christ and guidance by the Spirit. We need to realize how greatly we have the ability to rely on and trust in the Spirit. It is my belief that God works through us by the power of the Holy Spirit within us.
What a lot of people tend to focus on are the following two aspects of the Spirit: fruit and gifts.
Now, the fruit of the Spirit are as follows [according to Galatians 5:22-23]:
Love.
Joy.
Peace.
Patience.
Kindness.
Goodness.
Faithfulness.
Gentleness.
Self-control.
And gifts of the Spirit [according to 1 Corinthians 12 and Romans 12] include:
Wisdom.
Knowledge.
Faith.
Healing.
Miracles.
Prophecy.
Discernment.
Tongues/Interpretation of tongues.
Administration.
Service.
Teaching.
Exhortation.
Giving.
Mercy.
I personally believe that all these gifts are continually given to believers today and that they can all be used to edify the body of Christ and glorify God, as well as build up His Kingdom. I have experienced each of the mentioned gifts in one way or another - recognizing that they had to have been given to people as a gift from God. Unfortunately, I should say that I have also experienced some of these things in both positive and negative experiences. It saddens me to say that there are people who think they have an understanding of these things, but do not. And so they may attempt to forcibly use them in an improper manner, thinking they have the gift but in reality do not; or they may, indeed, have the gift but then misuse/abuse it. So it is important to have as great a biblical understanding of the things of the Spirit as possible... and then be able to pray about and have discernment of such things.
I think that everyone should attempt to know whether they have been given gifts of the Spirit [for the Bible states that not everyone will be given something], as well as work towards developing fruit of the Spirit. Easier said than done, at times... but well worth the time and effort when you consider what's been done for us in order that we may have the Spirit and His fruit at all... And when you consider how these fruits can affect other people, especially those who do not yet have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Showing posts with label The Body. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Body. Show all posts
March 20, 2011
January 10, 2011
Ch. 768: The List - Church
Church.
Church... hm.
Church.
It is difficult to know how to begin. For "church" fills my mind with a multitude of thoughts, all very different from one another. Yet at the same time, they are somewhat complementary to one another. Indeed, "church" has a variety of meanings. At times that knowledge... well... irritates me. Thus, I have a great desire to inform people of those different meanings, because some people do only have a singular view of what "church" is. And truly, their ideas may be somewhat wrong. Now, we can try and change the word around to better describe what "it" is, but I don't think that's very productive. In the end, people are going to continue to use the word "church" the way they see fit to do so.
Church.
It's a building.
Church.
It's a service.
Church.
It's the body of Christ.
I would say my first two layman definitions are both true and false. That is why I go so far as to say some people's ideas as to what church is may be wrong.
Is church a building? No, not really. But people have, over time, continuously said, "We are going over to the church!" to let it be known where they are going. Granted, some may say "church building" rather than merely the church. Truly, the same meaning is implied. To many, "church" is but an architectural structure, and nothing more.
Is church a service? Again, not quite. Oh, but, "We go to church each week." I suppose this is more appropriate than calling a building the church. I mean, by going to church, we gather in order to be edified and praise God. But church is more than a weekly worship service. It is more than something to be placed on a timeline, letting us know when to assemble.
And so we come to the last definition. "Church" is the body of Christ. This is unswervingly true. There is no way around it. It is nothing more, nothing less. It cannot mean anything other than that. It is not used as an explanation for something created by man. The Church is a body of believers, united by the blood of Christ. We are called to serve. We are called to love. Teach. Disciple. Just as children are to obey their mother and father, so too are we to obey our Father God. For the Church is a family. A community. It is more awesome and beautiful than any cathedral ever constructed, and more powerful and Spirit-filled than any worship service conducted. And I am more thankful for the body of Christ than I ever have been before.
......
Ch. 768, Part Two:
A story.
Yesterday I went to... a time of gathering for prayer, music, and teaching... in a building that used to be a bar... okay, just kidding. See what I mean, though? Anyway, when I went to "church" I experienced one of those moments where God seems to say, "Natalie, listen. Look. Pay attention!" I did exactly that, actually. Towards the end of the service we were singing songs of praise to our Lord God. At one point we were told by the pastor to close our eyes and just think about the Father and His love for us. His role as a Comforter. As a Provider. As the congregation did so, the children returned from Sunday school. Their running feet created a wondrous sound as they came into the room. Some feet made little more than a "pitter-pat" on the carpeted floor, while others made a resounding "clomp, clomp, clomp" as they raced back to their seats. I couldn't help but smile and let out a soft laugh. When the footsteps lessened and the music began to pick back up, I opened my eyes. A man sitting in front of me was looking to a back corner of the room. I allowed myself to follow his gaze and saw one of the small boys he had brought with him that morning, standing in the back. The man then smiled widely and opened his arms. The boy ran to him and was enveloped by the man's arms. Oh, what a beautiful sight. I could - can - easily imagine myself in that young boy's shoes, running into the arms of my heavenly Father. I was suddenly filled with a feeling and thoughts of magnificent love. Oh, how I am blessed.
Church... hm.
Church.
It is difficult to know how to begin. For "church" fills my mind with a multitude of thoughts, all very different from one another. Yet at the same time, they are somewhat complementary to one another. Indeed, "church" has a variety of meanings. At times that knowledge... well... irritates me. Thus, I have a great desire to inform people of those different meanings, because some people do only have a singular view of what "church" is. And truly, their ideas may be somewhat wrong. Now, we can try and change the word around to better describe what "it" is, but I don't think that's very productive. In the end, people are going to continue to use the word "church" the way they see fit to do so.
Church.
It's a building.
Church.
It's a service.
Church.
It's the body of Christ.
I would say my first two layman definitions are both true and false. That is why I go so far as to say some people's ideas as to what church is may be wrong.
Is church a building? No, not really. But people have, over time, continuously said, "We are going over to the church!" to let it be known where they are going. Granted, some may say "church building" rather than merely the church. Truly, the same meaning is implied. To many, "church" is but an architectural structure, and nothing more.
Is church a service? Again, not quite. Oh, but, "We go to church each week." I suppose this is more appropriate than calling a building the church. I mean, by going to church, we gather in order to be edified and praise God. But church is more than a weekly worship service. It is more than something to be placed on a timeline, letting us know when to assemble.
And so we come to the last definition. "Church" is the body of Christ. This is unswervingly true. There is no way around it. It is nothing more, nothing less. It cannot mean anything other than that. It is not used as an explanation for something created by man. The Church is a body of believers, united by the blood of Christ. We are called to serve. We are called to love. Teach. Disciple. Just as children are to obey their mother and father, so too are we to obey our Father God. For the Church is a family. A community. It is more awesome and beautiful than any cathedral ever constructed, and more powerful and Spirit-filled than any worship service conducted. And I am more thankful for the body of Christ than I ever have been before.
......
Ch. 768, Part Two:
A story.
Yesterday I went to... a time of gathering for prayer, music, and teaching... in a building that used to be a bar... okay, just kidding. See what I mean, though? Anyway, when I went to "church" I experienced one of those moments where God seems to say, "Natalie, listen. Look. Pay attention!" I did exactly that, actually. Towards the end of the service we were singing songs of praise to our Lord God. At one point we were told by the pastor to close our eyes and just think about the Father and His love for us. His role as a Comforter. As a Provider. As the congregation did so, the children returned from Sunday school. Their running feet created a wondrous sound as they came into the room. Some feet made little more than a "pitter-pat" on the carpeted floor, while others made a resounding "clomp, clomp, clomp" as they raced back to their seats. I couldn't help but smile and let out a soft laugh. When the footsteps lessened and the music began to pick back up, I opened my eyes. A man sitting in front of me was looking to a back corner of the room. I allowed myself to follow his gaze and saw one of the small boys he had brought with him that morning, standing in the back. The man then smiled widely and opened his arms. The boy ran to him and was enveloped by the man's arms. Oh, what a beautiful sight. I could - can - easily imagine myself in that young boy's shoes, running into the arms of my heavenly Father. I was suddenly filled with a feeling and thoughts of magnificent love. Oh, how I am blessed.
November 9, 2010
Ch. 762 - Shatter
Praise is due my Lord God for what He is doing in my life - and your life, as well, I am sure... whether you realize He is working or not.
Let's just say that my God is loving. And faithful. And compassionate.
I feel so secure in knowing that He holds me in His hands. I am so glad that my identity is found in Jesus Christ. I may not fully understand what that means or what that looks like, but I understand to a great enough extent to realize how truly blessed I am.
You know, I've never been fully comfortable with... me. I don't know how often I have believed that I truly like myself. I think this is why I've always enjoyed being able to go up on stage for various performances and such... I get to be someone else. A character. An entirely different person. Someone who knows who they are. No deviants. They do not waver. They are strong. They always know what to say. Character interactions are flawless. And no matter what, things go as they are supposed to. The story in which the character "lives" flows just oh so nicely. But my own character? Natalie? Well.... she is not consistent. She is weak. She doesn't always know what to say. Sometimes her interactions with others are strained. And her story seems to stop and start, stop and start. She rarely knows what will happen next; unpredictability is a major theme in the story. However, that's what makes it real. Honest and sincere reality... it can be tough... but it is good.
But let's just say that sometimes, those tough parts of life can pretty easily lead you to define/see yourself in a negative manner. "Forgive and forget..." "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me..." These two sayings are, quite possibly, the most ridiculous and false statements ever coined. It can be very difficult to forget things done to you, or said to you - especially when those words that were said hurt. And they can. Hurt, I mean...
I am a very critical person. Hard on myself, hard on others. And I've really never had a very good or strong perception of myself. Confidence... self-esteem... rarely there. I put on masks, I put up fronts. I used to think that these things saved me. But I have honestly just recently realized how greatly these things have ultimately hurt me. I shudder to think of what - and whom - I have missed out on due to my pride and fear. I feel that I have developed such odd - false, even - views of the people and world around me.
I have always blamed the lack of action on other people's parts for the way I've felt. Alone. Disliked. Afraid. Excluded. Etc... But really, it was my lack of action that hindered my ability to think or feel otherwise. Sure, I understood the concept of a "two-way street". I just... didn't care enough to turn onto other streets. I was always waiting for others to turn onto my street.
There's more... so much more. There truly was a lot of hurt based on past experiences and whatnot. I have held onto these hurts for a very long time. They have weighed me down. They have made me bitter. They have made me hate [myself more so than others]. They have created disillusions. And really, they have made me tired. I am so tired of the enemy using them against me time and time again, just because I can't seem to let them go. I am so tired of letting the lies of the world influence me to a greater extent than the truths of the Lamb.
A week ago I had a conversation with a sister in Christ. She lives on my floor and is really neat. We've had a few conversations in the past, but nothing terribly serious or deep - yet they've always been great, and certainly appreciated on my side of things. But this talk we had was not fun. It was not desired. And it was not appreciated - at first, that is. It actually started with me asking her a question about someone else... funnily enough, about whether that second person was "real". Truly legit. Because said person had surprised me [in a good way] with words and actions. It seemed that they really did care. And I was taken aback by the realization of how much I both wanted and needed that. But I thought I would check with my sister just to be sure; I knew she could advise me because the two of them are close. Oh by the way, it turns out they are real. Anyway, that question/answer morphed into something unexpected. Long story short, I completely broke down. ... I hate it when that happens. All this "stuff" came pouring out and it was just.... aifudasljfkal. Gloriously awful. Awfully glorious. Take your pick. But let me tell you... I felt so loved. Just because she let me talk. And yet she didn't merely hear me, but also listened... and had input. Gave advice. Asked questions. Prayed for me. Over the weekend, I was able to have some more really great conversations with her. I am being completely honest when I say that I feel as if I finally have a good, true friend here at Central. She, too, is "real" and I am so glad that I have someone I can turn to in anything and everything. But man... it's been rough. I feel as if "my world" is falling down around me. It's like a glass vase, dangerously close to the table's edge... the table is bumped and you know what's going to happen. You want to do everything you can to stop the vase from falling to the floor and shattering into dozens of pieces - but you can't. Anyway, my sister has pointed out some pretty big faults in my thinking and habits... reminded me that people are not monsters... and helped me realize how much I need people. Especially the Body of Christ. His Bride. The Church.
I cannot be alone.
It is impossible.
It is unrealistic.
It is not what God desires for me.
And besides, I really don't want to be alone.
I feel like I've forced that upon myself in the past.
All because I'd developed this horrendous view of humanity.
No more.
I deserve better.
So do those around me.
And above all, God deserves my best.
This past week has been full of ups and downs.
Confusion.
Hysteria.
Questions.
Prayer.
Reflection.
Tears.
But really... it's been a long time coming.
And I can't wait to see what comes next.
"REND"
oh, how i hurt.
i feel HIS hand upon me.
crushing. tearing. breaking.
oh, the pain.
strength.
comforted.
for it is good.
[necessary.]
but oh GOD, my GOD, this is not what i desired.
"... that YOU would rend the heavens." [but...]
my heart?
a fear of fears.
[unprepared.]
oh, how i hurt.
i know joy.
i know peace.
i want more. [but...]
oh, the pain.
continue, oh GOD, my GOD.
for YOU love me.
[abide.]
rend.
New life.
The same me... but... different.
A phoenix, if you will.
Thankful.
So very, very thankful.
'Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.'
[Romans 12:15]
... I realize this may seem like an odd verse to end with, but for whatever reason it's been on repeat in my mind for the past week... so please forgive me.
Let's just say that my God is loving. And faithful. And compassionate.
I feel so secure in knowing that He holds me in His hands. I am so glad that my identity is found in Jesus Christ. I may not fully understand what that means or what that looks like, but I understand to a great enough extent to realize how truly blessed I am.
You know, I've never been fully comfortable with... me. I don't know how often I have believed that I truly like myself. I think this is why I've always enjoyed being able to go up on stage for various performances and such... I get to be someone else. A character. An entirely different person. Someone who knows who they are. No deviants. They do not waver. They are strong. They always know what to say. Character interactions are flawless. And no matter what, things go as they are supposed to. The story in which the character "lives" flows just oh so nicely. But my own character? Natalie? Well.... she is not consistent. She is weak. She doesn't always know what to say. Sometimes her interactions with others are strained. And her story seems to stop and start, stop and start. She rarely knows what will happen next; unpredictability is a major theme in the story. However, that's what makes it real. Honest and sincere reality... it can be tough... but it is good.
But let's just say that sometimes, those tough parts of life can pretty easily lead you to define/see yourself in a negative manner. "Forgive and forget..." "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me..." These two sayings are, quite possibly, the most ridiculous and false statements ever coined. It can be very difficult to forget things done to you, or said to you - especially when those words that were said hurt. And they can. Hurt, I mean...
I am a very critical person. Hard on myself, hard on others. And I've really never had a very good or strong perception of myself. Confidence... self-esteem... rarely there. I put on masks, I put up fronts. I used to think that these things saved me. But I have honestly just recently realized how greatly these things have ultimately hurt me. I shudder to think of what - and whom - I have missed out on due to my pride and fear. I feel that I have developed such odd - false, even - views of the people and world around me.
I have always blamed the lack of action on other people's parts for the way I've felt. Alone. Disliked. Afraid. Excluded. Etc... But really, it was my lack of action that hindered my ability to think or feel otherwise. Sure, I understood the concept of a "two-way street". I just... didn't care enough to turn onto other streets. I was always waiting for others to turn onto my street.
There's more... so much more. There truly was a lot of hurt based on past experiences and whatnot. I have held onto these hurts for a very long time. They have weighed me down. They have made me bitter. They have made me hate [myself more so than others]. They have created disillusions. And really, they have made me tired. I am so tired of the enemy using them against me time and time again, just because I can't seem to let them go. I am so tired of letting the lies of the world influence me to a greater extent than the truths of the Lamb.
A week ago I had a conversation with a sister in Christ. She lives on my floor and is really neat. We've had a few conversations in the past, but nothing terribly serious or deep - yet they've always been great, and certainly appreciated on my side of things. But this talk we had was not fun. It was not desired. And it was not appreciated - at first, that is. It actually started with me asking her a question about someone else... funnily enough, about whether that second person was "real". Truly legit. Because said person had surprised me [in a good way] with words and actions. It seemed that they really did care. And I was taken aback by the realization of how much I both wanted and needed that. But I thought I would check with my sister just to be sure; I knew she could advise me because the two of them are close. Oh by the way, it turns out they are real. Anyway, that question/answer morphed into something unexpected. Long story short, I completely broke down. ... I hate it when that happens. All this "stuff" came pouring out and it was just.... aifudasljfkal. Gloriously awful. Awfully glorious. Take your pick. But let me tell you... I felt so loved. Just because she let me talk. And yet she didn't merely hear me, but also listened... and had input. Gave advice. Asked questions. Prayed for me. Over the weekend, I was able to have some more really great conversations with her. I am being completely honest when I say that I feel as if I finally have a good, true friend here at Central. She, too, is "real" and I am so glad that I have someone I can turn to in anything and everything. But man... it's been rough. I feel as if "my world" is falling down around me. It's like a glass vase, dangerously close to the table's edge... the table is bumped and you know what's going to happen. You want to do everything you can to stop the vase from falling to the floor and shattering into dozens of pieces - but you can't. Anyway, my sister has pointed out some pretty big faults in my thinking and habits... reminded me that people are not monsters... and helped me realize how much I need people. Especially the Body of Christ. His Bride. The Church.
I cannot be alone.
It is impossible.
It is unrealistic.
It is not what God desires for me.
And besides, I really don't want to be alone.
I feel like I've forced that upon myself in the past.
All because I'd developed this horrendous view of humanity.
No more.
I deserve better.
So do those around me.
And above all, God deserves my best.
This past week has been full of ups and downs.
Confusion.
Hysteria.
Questions.
Prayer.
Reflection.
Tears.
But really... it's been a long time coming.
And I can't wait to see what comes next.
"REND"
oh, how i hurt.
i feel HIS hand upon me.
crushing. tearing. breaking.
oh, the pain.
strength.
comforted.
for it is good.
[necessary.]
but oh GOD, my GOD, this is not what i desired.
"... that YOU would rend the heavens." [but...]
my heart?
a fear of fears.
[unprepared.]
oh, how i hurt.
i know joy.
i know peace.
i want more. [but...]
oh, the pain.
continue, oh GOD, my GOD.
for YOU love me.
[abide.]
rend.
New life.
The same me... but... different.
A phoenix, if you will.
Thankful.
So very, very thankful.
'Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.'
[Romans 12:15]
... I realize this may seem like an odd verse to end with, but for whatever reason it's been on repeat in my mind for the past week... so please forgive me.
November 6, 2010
Ch. 761 - In Response...
[As aforementioned in my last post, this post came from my other blog in order to play catch-up... this was written this past Thursday.]
Today I read an excerpt from Carlo Carretto's "Summoned by Love", a sustained meditation on the prayer of Charles de Foucauld known as the 'Prayer of Abandonment to God'. I've mentioned Carretto before [see Chapter 154]. The excerpt can be found in the book, Carlo Carretto: Essential Writings, a compilation of thoughts, letters, etc. written by Carretto. Carretto was actually a member of the Little Brothers of Jesus, an order inspired by the spirituality of de Foucauld. So a lot of his writings focus on different aspects of Catholicism, which I actually know very little about. Thus, his writings are all the more interesting to me, because they explore facets of something I am both a part of and not a part of.
Anyway, I had never heard about the 'Prayer of Abandonment to God' and did some research; it goes as thus:
'Father,
I abandon myself into Your hands; do with me what You will. Whatever you may do, I thank You: I am ready for all; I accept all. Let only Your will be done in me, and in all Your creatures - I wish no more than this, O Lord. Into Your hands I commend my soul: I offer it to You with all the love of my heart, for I love You Lord, and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into Your hands, without reserve, and with boundless confidence... For You are my Father.
Amen.'
[Wow.]
I hadn't read from Carlo Carretto: Essential Writings for quite some time. But today, for whatever reason, I decided to pluck the book from its shelf in my room and bring it with me to my classes. SALT was even less interesting than usual today... so I decided to open the book to the spot where I left my bookmark and began to read. The very first sentence piqued my interest to a great degree... if you haven't already done so, I suggest that you first read my previous blog post before continuing onward.
But with that bit of a background, I give to you that which I read today:
'On the subject of the Church as community:...
It's no good sheltering in the old refrain: "It's not my concern... I can't do anything about it... it's the priest's concern, the bishop's concern, my mother's concern."
I think it's everybody's concern.
The first symptom of conversion by which we prove that we have grasped what the Church actually is, is when we stop thinking about the Church as being only the Vatican or the diocese and think of it as being each one of us.
We are the Church!
Each of us is the Church!
What power would be generated were all Christians to keep saying, and each to contribute something to the activities of the bishop by saying, "It concerns me."
Now I am making a start.
Now I am trying to make a community.
I don't want to be on my own any more.
I want to have companions on my journey.
To live my life with them.
Even if there are only a few of us,
I want to make a start.
We shall pray at home.
We shall read the Bible together.
We shall make the Eucharist what the first Christians made it.
We shall hale each other.
We shall pool as much of our property as we can.
We shall live by the gospel.
And I think that the acutely worrying problem of priestly vocations would soon be solved in a community of this sort.
A community of prayer.
A community-Church in which the faith is sincerely lived automatically becomes a seminary. Where the Word is proclaimed, the Spirit comes, and the task of the Spirit is to make a Church and distribute its graces within it.'
Oh, how my Lord God works in wonderful ways.
'Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.'
[Colossians 3:15-16]
Today I read an excerpt from Carlo Carretto's "Summoned by Love", a sustained meditation on the prayer of Charles de Foucauld known as the 'Prayer of Abandonment to God'. I've mentioned Carretto before [see Chapter 154]. The excerpt can be found in the book, Carlo Carretto: Essential Writings, a compilation of thoughts, letters, etc. written by Carretto. Carretto was actually a member of the Little Brothers of Jesus, an order inspired by the spirituality of de Foucauld. So a lot of his writings focus on different aspects of Catholicism, which I actually know very little about. Thus, his writings are all the more interesting to me, because they explore facets of something I am both a part of and not a part of.
Anyway, I had never heard about the 'Prayer of Abandonment to God' and did some research; it goes as thus:
'Father,
I abandon myself into Your hands; do with me what You will. Whatever you may do, I thank You: I am ready for all; I accept all. Let only Your will be done in me, and in all Your creatures - I wish no more than this, O Lord. Into Your hands I commend my soul: I offer it to You with all the love of my heart, for I love You Lord, and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into Your hands, without reserve, and with boundless confidence... For You are my Father.
Amen.'
[Wow.]
I hadn't read from Carlo Carretto: Essential Writings for quite some time. But today, for whatever reason, I decided to pluck the book from its shelf in my room and bring it with me to my classes. SALT was even less interesting than usual today... so I decided to open the book to the spot where I left my bookmark and began to read. The very first sentence piqued my interest to a great degree... if you haven't already done so, I suggest that you first read my previous blog post before continuing onward.
But with that bit of a background, I give to you that which I read today:
'On the subject of the Church as community:...
It's no good sheltering in the old refrain: "It's not my concern... I can't do anything about it... it's the priest's concern, the bishop's concern, my mother's concern."
I think it's everybody's concern.
The first symptom of conversion by which we prove that we have grasped what the Church actually is, is when we stop thinking about the Church as being only the Vatican or the diocese and think of it as being each one of us.
We are the Church!
Each of us is the Church!
What power would be generated were all Christians to keep saying, and each to contribute something to the activities of the bishop by saying, "It concerns me."
Now I am making a start.
Now I am trying to make a community.
I don't want to be on my own any more.
I want to have companions on my journey.
To live my life with them.
Even if there are only a few of us,
I want to make a start.
We shall pray at home.
We shall read the Bible together.
We shall make the Eucharist what the first Christians made it.
We shall hale each other.
We shall pool as much of our property as we can.
We shall live by the gospel.
And I think that the acutely worrying problem of priestly vocations would soon be solved in a community of this sort.
A community of prayer.
A community-Church in which the faith is sincerely lived automatically becomes a seminary. Where the Word is proclaimed, the Spirit comes, and the task of the Spirit is to make a Church and distribute its graces within it.'
Oh, how my Lord God works in wonderful ways.
'Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.'
[Colossians 3:15-16]
November 5, 2010
Ch. 760 - Dissatisfaction
[Alright, so the next two posts were on my other blog. But I wanted to use them as a catch-up for this one. :) I'm awesome.]
How does not knowing what community - or, I dare say, "the Church" - is become a problem in one's life? I could begin to attempt to tell you, but I don't think I would get very far before realizing, "I don't know."
Where does it start?
Can you put a finger on its generation point?
... Who is to "blame" for this tangled mess?
Blame it on self?
... Body?
... Soul?
Blame it on others?
... Family?
... Friends?
Blame it on church?
... Pastors?
... Teachers?
Blame it on the Church?
... The Body?
... The Bride?
It's a sad realization, let me tell you. My heart broke tonight. Not just for myself, mind you, but for the seemingly infinite number of people in this world who do not about Christ, let alone a [true/Church] community.
There are just... too many.
Too many, I say, and it is overwhelming.
Oh, how my heart aches.
I desire to be proven wrong.
I desire to be shown it exists.
I desire something more than "this".
I desire to learn how to bring that which we all need to others.
And I desire to truly figure out how this problem is generated.
It is simply unfortunate that I feel like I have to do so on my own.
And that, more often than not, I feel as if nobody else cares whatsoever.
'Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.'
[Ephesians 2:19-20]
How does not knowing what community - or, I dare say, "the Church" - is become a problem in one's life? I could begin to attempt to tell you, but I don't think I would get very far before realizing, "I don't know."
Where does it start?
Can you put a finger on its generation point?
... Who is to "blame" for this tangled mess?
Blame it on self?
... Body?
... Soul?
Blame it on others?
... Family?
... Friends?
Blame it on church?
... Pastors?
... Teachers?
Blame it on the Church?
... The Body?
... The Bride?
It's a sad realization, let me tell you. My heart broke tonight. Not just for myself, mind you, but for the seemingly infinite number of people in this world who do not about Christ, let alone a [true/Church] community.
There are just... too many.
Too many, I say, and it is overwhelming.
Oh, how my heart aches.
I desire to be proven wrong.
I desire to be shown it exists.
I desire something more than "this".
I desire to learn how to bring that which we all need to others.
And I desire to truly figure out how this problem is generated.
It is simply unfortunate that I feel like I have to do so on my own.
And that, more often than not, I feel as if nobody else cares whatsoever.
'Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.'
[Ephesians 2:19-20]
April 30, 2010
Ch. 701 - People are Good
'Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." '
[Matthew 26:36-38]
Jesus brought Peter, James, and John with Him to the garden at Gethsemane, and on their way Jesus began to be grieved and distressed. I believe this verse shows the humanity of Jesus, and also teaches us how to live in one aspect. Even though Jesus knew He was going to die in obedience for our salvation, He was at a vulnerable, weak moment in His life. Jesus’ bringing His three closest disciples reveals that we were created as relational beings. I sense a feeling of dependency on these three during this moment in Jesus’ life; I believe that we should realize we can turn to our brothers and sisters in Christ for help and support, in addition to turning to God.
Note to self: There are so many good people in this world.
Not everyone I come to face is "evil" or careless.
I should not be so terribly critical.
I simply distance myself in doing so and that is not a good thing.
[Matthew 26:36-38]
Jesus brought Peter, James, and John with Him to the garden at Gethsemane, and on their way Jesus began to be grieved and distressed. I believe this verse shows the humanity of Jesus, and also teaches us how to live in one aspect. Even though Jesus knew He was going to die in obedience for our salvation, He was at a vulnerable, weak moment in His life. Jesus’ bringing His three closest disciples reveals that we were created as relational beings. I sense a feeling of dependency on these three during this moment in Jesus’ life; I believe that we should realize we can turn to our brothers and sisters in Christ for help and support, in addition to turning to God.
Note to self: There are so many good people in this world.
Not everyone I come to face is "evil" or careless.
I should not be so terribly critical.
I simply distance myself in doing so and that is not a good thing.
April 20, 2010
Ch. 691 - Capacity
Before class this morning I began my day by praying in the gym.
Lord God.
Chapel.
People.
Hearts.
Change.
Jesus Christ.
Peace.
Fruit.
Power.
Holy Spirit.
Hope.
Time.
The Church.
Joy.
Me.
My mind was racing, my heart was pounding.
Even though I felt as if a million and one thoughts were running through my mind, I felt as if they all centered around a single theme: love.
My love for God.
My love for others.
God's love for me.
God's love for others.
The body's love for God.
The body's love for others.
And so it goes on...
I've come to realize that sometimes, throughout the day, all I pray for is love.
More love.
What I really desire is for us to love God more.
'Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment."
[Matthew 22:37-38]
How often are we asked, "Do you truly obey the greatest commandment?"
Or how often do we hear, "You know... it all comes down to love. That's what it's all about!"
So this morning, as I'm praying and "love" recycles itself through my thoughts, I hear the following line from the song All Consuming Fire by Misty Edwards:
'Let us fall more in love with You.'
Oh, the joys of putting the iPod on shuffle: what a pleasant surprise...
When I heard that line, I just stopped.
I was overcome with the weight of the Presence.
I doubled over.
['Whoa.']
Unexpected.
But welcomed.
That's a heaviness on your heart that you should never want lifted.
No restraint.
Freedom in the Spirit.
All out of love, and the desire of love for God from others.
Desires from within that I'm not even fully aware of, made known to God.
Is that truly such a terrible thing?
[What are people so afraid of?]
God is listening.
"It's not time.
... They're not ready."
But He is listening.
Before all else, we need to increase our capacity to love.
Devotion.
Adoration.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Acceptance of self.
Love of self.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Acceptance of others.
Love of others.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Ask for more.
Lord God.
Chapel.
People.
Hearts.
Change.
Jesus Christ.
Peace.
Fruit.
Power.
Holy Spirit.
Hope.
Time.
The Church.
Joy.
Me.
My mind was racing, my heart was pounding.
Even though I felt as if a million and one thoughts were running through my mind, I felt as if they all centered around a single theme: love.
My love for God.
My love for others.
God's love for me.
God's love for others.
The body's love for God.
The body's love for others.
And so it goes on...
I've come to realize that sometimes, throughout the day, all I pray for is love.
More love.
What I really desire is for us to love God more.
'Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment."
[Matthew 22:37-38]
How often are we asked, "Do you truly obey the greatest commandment?"
Or how often do we hear, "You know... it all comes down to love. That's what it's all about!"
So this morning, as I'm praying and "love" recycles itself through my thoughts, I hear the following line from the song All Consuming Fire by Misty Edwards:
'Let us fall more in love with You.'
Oh, the joys of putting the iPod on shuffle: what a pleasant surprise...
When I heard that line, I just stopped.
I was overcome with the weight of the Presence.
I doubled over.
['Whoa.']
Unexpected.
But welcomed.
That's a heaviness on your heart that you should never want lifted.
No restraint.
Freedom in the Spirit.
All out of love, and the desire of love for God from others.
Desires from within that I'm not even fully aware of, made known to God.
Is that truly such a terrible thing?
[What are people so afraid of?]
God is listening.
"It's not time.
... They're not ready."
But He is listening.
Before all else, we need to increase our capacity to love.
Devotion.
Adoration.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Acceptance of self.
Love of self.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Acceptance of others.
Love of others.
Ask for more.
Love God.
Ask for more.
March 25, 2010
Ch. 680 - MY Way or... ?
Worship is worship is worship.
What matters most is the heart and its intention behind the worship.
I should not, then, feel bothered when I am told where I have to sit, what I have to pray, which songs I have to sing... etc.
Yet I do.
[And of course, I don't "have" to do any of these things.]
I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't bother me. I know this needs to change. But if I have such a freedom to openly praise and worship my Lord God with my brothers and sisters in Christ, I am going to take full advantage of said freedom and worship Him the way I desire, even within a congregational context. Is that truly so wrong?
Open.
Observant.
Expectant.
Weighted down with the Presence.
Whispering words of love to my Lord God.
Spirit.
There's more.
So much more.
But it's personal.
"Me and God."
You understand... right?
It's okay if you don't.
I mean, I'm at a Bible college.
Surrounded by people just like myself.
So at the very least, I'm sure they understand.
... Right.
'Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;'
[Psalm 95:6]
What matters most is the heart and its intention behind the worship.
I should not, then, feel bothered when I am told where I have to sit, what I have to pray, which songs I have to sing... etc.
Yet I do.
[And of course, I don't "have" to do any of these things.]
I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't bother me. I know this needs to change. But if I have such a freedom to openly praise and worship my Lord God with my brothers and sisters in Christ, I am going to take full advantage of said freedom and worship Him the way I desire, even within a congregational context. Is that truly so wrong?
Open.
Observant.
Expectant.
Weighted down with the Presence.
Whispering words of love to my Lord God.
Spirit.
There's more.
So much more.
But it's personal.
"Me and God."
You understand... right?
It's okay if you don't.
I mean, I'm at a Bible college.
Surrounded by people just like myself.
So at the very least, I'm sure they understand.
... Right.
'Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;'
[Psalm 95:6]
March 2, 2010
Ch. 667 - People Get Ready
How can something meant to be uplifting be so very disheartening?
Even through the praise and glorification, I come to be discouraged. My heart breaks. Do they have any idea of what they're missing out on? I honestly have no clue. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it's difficult to do so.
WAKE UP!
Distraught.
That is what I am.
Distraught.
'He who testifies to these things says,'
"Yes, I am coming soon."
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen.'
[Revelation 22:20-21]
Even through the praise and glorification, I come to be discouraged. My heart breaks. Do they have any idea of what they're missing out on? I honestly have no clue. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it's difficult to do so.
WAKE UP!
Distraught.
That is what I am.
Distraught.
'He who testifies to these things says,'
"Yes, I am coming soon."
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen.'
[Revelation 22:20-21]
February 15, 2010
Ch. 652 - Reality Check
What a night...
I know I've said this before, but: I think often we get too caught up in what's going on in the 'here and now' with ME, ME, ME... so we forget about the big picture. And how it should be about GOD, GOD, GOD... and THEM, THEM, THEM.
Life is good.
Life is great.
God is good.
God is great.
Joy.
Hope.
Clarity.
Renewal.
Blessings.
God-highs... gah.
I've been on a definite God-high for about a month now.
And it's been fantastic. I've loved every minute of it.
I've done my best to not focus entirely inwards. And while I have spent time thinking and praying about other people, I feel that it's not enough. I've tried to share what God has given me. But sometimes I feel like an absolute failure. Do people know I truly care about them? Are my spoken words empty? Meaningless? Do I ask God for an awareness of the needs and feelings of others? Am I following the Holy Spirit's promptings towards my brothers and sisters? Or the promptings towards nonbelievers? Do I even want to be aware or sensitive?
Each day I pass people who put a smile on their face, while on the inside their hearts are breaking. Each day I pass people who are leading a group in laughter, but they'd rather weep or cry out in anger. We see joy, they feel bitterness. But they want to seem strong. "Okay." "Fine." Even "Good!" or "Great!" And just to ward off possible questions of greater depth, they tack on the exclamation that "God is so good, man!" But they can't really expound on why He is "so good" because they've got homework [or so they say...] and they'll have to catch you later.
Sad.
Sometimes we have no idea.
For one thing, they aren't willing to let people in.
And another, we aren't willing to chip away at their walls.
It would be done with gentleness and respect, of course.
But if we don't work at it, no progress will be made.
They'll remain shut up, surrounded by numerous defenses that sometimes they don't even mean to construct. So how do they get there? The world puts them there.
The world says this is a cold, hard place.
The world says nobody really cares.
The world says we can't get from here to there with merely an unseen God.
The world is wrong. How can we let ourselves be so greatly deceived? Oh, well... "the great deceiver", the devil, can have a stronghold on us [if we let him]. But in contrast to God, he has nothing. The power of God greatly surpasses the power of our enemy. And he is not loving, or just, or kind, or merciful... and he truly has no authority in our lives.
The world should not dictate whether we reach out to our brothers and sisters in Christ's love - or, as someone being reached out to, whether we grasp their outstretched hands. We can't assume that just because someone is a fellow believer everything is fine. We all have our battles. There's nothing wrong with asking if someone would be willing to be an ally. Trust in God, yes. But trust people, too. Man is not entirely evil. I know that I have always struggled with thinking other people are heartless. I've always been very critical and hard on people. That is changing more and more each day, it seems. Some days I learn more than others, and those are the days I deem "bad" or "difficult" - yet when I sit down at the end of the day and reflect, I see God was at work throughout the day. And that makes each bad day a good day in the end.
I think we sometimes focus outwards to such a far extent that we miss the people standing right next to us. Or walking down the hall towards us between classes...
But don't take this as a challenge to simply ask people more questions the next time you see them or get a "feeling" that someone's not doing too great. Don't make someone your pet project. Don't talk to people because you feel like you have to. Talk to people because you want to. Because you genuinely care about them, and are interested in their lives. Just remember that Christ lives in them... would you give Him the cold shoulder or brush Him off like a pesky mosquito?
... I hope not.
You can't love God without loving others.
And you can't love others without loving God.
'If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.'
[1 John 4:20-21]
By the way: I apologize if this was difficult to follow. I feel like I was kind of all over the place, jumping from one thing to another. There is simply so much on my mind right now. I'm finding it difficult to think straight and organize my thoughts. So when I'm just writing down raw thought, it's just as jumbled as it is in my mind. Blech.
I know I've said this before, but: I think often we get too caught up in what's going on in the 'here and now' with ME, ME, ME... so we forget about the big picture. And how it should be about GOD, GOD, GOD... and THEM, THEM, THEM.
Life is good.
Life is great.
God is good.
God is great.
Joy.
Hope.
Clarity.
Renewal.
Blessings.
God-highs... gah.
I've been on a definite God-high for about a month now.
And it's been fantastic. I've loved every minute of it.
I've done my best to not focus entirely inwards. And while I have spent time thinking and praying about other people, I feel that it's not enough. I've tried to share what God has given me. But sometimes I feel like an absolute failure. Do people know I truly care about them? Are my spoken words empty? Meaningless? Do I ask God for an awareness of the needs and feelings of others? Am I following the Holy Spirit's promptings towards my brothers and sisters? Or the promptings towards nonbelievers? Do I even want to be aware or sensitive?
Each day I pass people who put a smile on their face, while on the inside their hearts are breaking. Each day I pass people who are leading a group in laughter, but they'd rather weep or cry out in anger. We see joy, they feel bitterness. But they want to seem strong. "Okay." "Fine." Even "Good!" or "Great!" And just to ward off possible questions of greater depth, they tack on the exclamation that "God is so good, man!" But they can't really expound on why He is "so good" because they've got homework [or so they say...] and they'll have to catch you later.
Sad.
Sometimes we have no idea.
For one thing, they aren't willing to let people in.
And another, we aren't willing to chip away at their walls.
It would be done with gentleness and respect, of course.
But if we don't work at it, no progress will be made.
They'll remain shut up, surrounded by numerous defenses that sometimes they don't even mean to construct. So how do they get there? The world puts them there.
The world says this is a cold, hard place.
The world says nobody really cares.
The world says we can't get from here to there with merely an unseen God.
The world is wrong. How can we let ourselves be so greatly deceived? Oh, well... "the great deceiver", the devil, can have a stronghold on us [if we let him]. But in contrast to God, he has nothing. The power of God greatly surpasses the power of our enemy. And he is not loving, or just, or kind, or merciful... and he truly has no authority in our lives.
The world should not dictate whether we reach out to our brothers and sisters in Christ's love - or, as someone being reached out to, whether we grasp their outstretched hands. We can't assume that just because someone is a fellow believer everything is fine. We all have our battles. There's nothing wrong with asking if someone would be willing to be an ally. Trust in God, yes. But trust people, too. Man is not entirely evil. I know that I have always struggled with thinking other people are heartless. I've always been very critical and hard on people. That is changing more and more each day, it seems. Some days I learn more than others, and those are the days I deem "bad" or "difficult" - yet when I sit down at the end of the day and reflect, I see God was at work throughout the day. And that makes each bad day a good day in the end.
I think we sometimes focus outwards to such a far extent that we miss the people standing right next to us. Or walking down the hall towards us between classes...
But don't take this as a challenge to simply ask people more questions the next time you see them or get a "feeling" that someone's not doing too great. Don't make someone your pet project. Don't talk to people because you feel like you have to. Talk to people because you want to. Because you genuinely care about them, and are interested in their lives. Just remember that Christ lives in them... would you give Him the cold shoulder or brush Him off like a pesky mosquito?
... I hope not.
You can't love God without loving others.
And you can't love others without loving God.
'If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.'
[1 John 4:20-21]
By the way: I apologize if this was difficult to follow. I feel like I was kind of all over the place, jumping from one thing to another. There is simply so much on my mind right now. I'm finding it difficult to think straight and organize my thoughts. So when I'm just writing down raw thought, it's just as jumbled as it is in my mind. Blech.
October 29, 2008
Ch. 234 - One Another
‘Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.’
[Hebrews 10:23-25, NASB]
Community.
Beautiful.
[Hebrews 10:23-25, NASB]
Community.
Beautiful.
October 7, 2008
Ch. 211 - An Encouraging Day
I didn't get any sleep last night. I was busy not studying for LOC and writing papers for Foundations. Not bad, really. But I really was very tired. I started the day at a low, went up to a nice high where I thought everything was funny, then crashed back down to another low. I'm not going to lie, I definitely had a difficult time staying awake in my classes. I did the best I could, scout's honor! I am never pulling an all-nighter ever again...
... that's a lie.
Even though I knew what the day was going to be like, I knew that God would help me make the most out of it. I took each step with a smile and looked forward to what every new hour would bring. Talking - er, more like listening - about joy in Discipleship was great (yeah, shoutout to Mr. Worstell), seeing how I'm sort of on a joy kick right now.
I just love it here.
I love my classes.
I love simple, ol' Moberly.
I love my friends.
I know who to turn to when I'm feeling upset.
I know who to turn to when I need a hug (or don't, but want one anyway).
I know who to turn to when I've got a story to tell.
I know who to turn to when I want some advice.
I've got a new family here at Central and I'm excited. God is going to work through us all in amazing ways and I can't wait to see what He has in store for these beautiful people I'm coming to know and love dearly.
... that's a lie.
Even though I knew what the day was going to be like, I knew that God would help me make the most out of it. I took each step with a smile and looked forward to what every new hour would bring. Talking - er, more like listening - about joy in Discipleship was great (yeah, shoutout to Mr. Worstell), seeing how I'm sort of on a joy kick right now.
I just love it here.
I love my classes.
I love simple, ol' Moberly.
I love my friends.
I know who to turn to when I'm feeling upset.
I know who to turn to when I need a hug (or don't, but want one anyway).
I know who to turn to when I've got a story to tell.
I know who to turn to when I want some advice.
I've got a new family here at Central and I'm excited. God is going to work through us all in amazing ways and I can't wait to see what He has in store for these beautiful people I'm coming to know and love dearly.
September 15, 2008
Ch. 188 - Fellowship
I'm learning that fellowship with believers is more important than I once thought it to be. Even when God is not the focus of discussion or anything, or activities are not centered around faith or 'doing good works', just hanging out with friends who are believers is really good for you. The energy just seems to be more positive and I find that I definitely have a better time with believers than nonbelievers (because I certainly do have friends who are not saved). To have God-time with others is nice, but sometimes it doesn't have to just be about God, you know? As long as your actions and words are honoring to God, I think you're good to go; I believe it pleases God to be in fellowship with one another.
'All the believers were together and had everything in common.'
[Acts 2:44]
'All the believers were together and had everything in common.'
[Acts 2:44]
August 28, 2008
Ch. 176 - Everything is "Fine"
Just because I'm surrounded by many believers who know and love Jesus Christ doesn't mean I'm not surrounded by many believers who are hurting.
I didn't know I was scheduled for a rude awakening tonight until it was happening right before my eyes. We had a floor meeting. It was the first time for my meeting many of the girls on my floor, so it was nice to finally put names with faces I've seen. Standard procedure, I suppose. Attendance sheet passed around. Introductions. Announcements. Open dorm theme voting. It's going just fine. You can see smiles all around the group and a lot of laughter breaks out here and there.
Then come the prayer concerns.
Well, at first nobody said anything. Then our RA mentioned something that was going on in her life; once she had spoken, it was like the dam had broken. Soon all of this stuff came rushing forward.
Sad stuff.
Angry stuff.
Troublesome stuff.
Heartbreaking stuff.
You could hear the hurt in the voices.
You could see the worry in the eyes.
You could feel the anxiety in the air.
Naturally, you likely wouldn't be able to figure out that anything was wrong if you were to speak with these people. But it's there. Lurking under the surface. I don't think these girls are looking for pity. I don't think these girls are looking for sorrow.
Prayer.
Encouragement.
Strength.
Community.
That's what these girls are looking for.
That's what these girls need.
And I know I can't save the world. I'm not a superhero. But my heart went out to these girls and it's like I want to do everything possible to make things good for them. I think they're in a beautiful place to be during these difficult points in their lives (meaning to be here at Central Christian College of the Bible). I know these daunting situations are not meant by God to bring grief, but growth. But when you add in work schedules, six or so classes, mandatory service hours, relationships (whether that means friends, significant others, or both), and whatever else... the stress level increases pretty rapidly. And that's not good.
I just pray that God will place His healing hand over all of these people and that His spirit of peace and comfort will wash over them. I simply hope they just give everything to Him and completely put their trust in Him. God has a plan for all. And He is good. All the time.
'Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.'
[Psalm 34:8]
......
Chapter 176, Part Two:
This week's memory verse:
'Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.'
[1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NASB]
I didn't know I was scheduled for a rude awakening tonight until it was happening right before my eyes. We had a floor meeting. It was the first time for my meeting many of the girls on my floor, so it was nice to finally put names with faces I've seen. Standard procedure, I suppose. Attendance sheet passed around. Introductions. Announcements. Open dorm theme voting. It's going just fine. You can see smiles all around the group and a lot of laughter breaks out here and there.
Then come the prayer concerns.
Well, at first nobody said anything. Then our RA mentioned something that was going on in her life; once she had spoken, it was like the dam had broken. Soon all of this stuff came rushing forward.
Sad stuff.
Angry stuff.
Troublesome stuff.
Heartbreaking stuff.
You could hear the hurt in the voices.
You could see the worry in the eyes.
You could feel the anxiety in the air.
Naturally, you likely wouldn't be able to figure out that anything was wrong if you were to speak with these people. But it's there. Lurking under the surface. I don't think these girls are looking for pity. I don't think these girls are looking for sorrow.
Prayer.
Encouragement.
Strength.
Community.
That's what these girls are looking for.
That's what these girls need.
And I know I can't save the world. I'm not a superhero. But my heart went out to these girls and it's like I want to do everything possible to make things good for them. I think they're in a beautiful place to be during these difficult points in their lives (meaning to be here at Central Christian College of the Bible). I know these daunting situations are not meant by God to bring grief, but growth. But when you add in work schedules, six or so classes, mandatory service hours, relationships (whether that means friends, significant others, or both), and whatever else... the stress level increases pretty rapidly. And that's not good.
I just pray that God will place His healing hand over all of these people and that His spirit of peace and comfort will wash over them. I simply hope they just give everything to Him and completely put their trust in Him. God has a plan for all. And He is good. All the time.
'Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.'
[Psalm 34:8]
......
Chapter 176, Part Two:
This week's memory verse:
'Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.'
[1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NASB]
August 23, 2008
Ch. 171 - Learning to Listen
I went to Columbia tonight with a group of people. It was really nice to just hang out and listen to people. That's how I like getting to know people. I don't ask a lot of questions and I don't talk about myself seriously unless I'm asked something or if I feel comfortable with people. Random things, like my favorite color or where I'm from, sure. But those 'who are you' and 'what are you about' questions, not so much. That really takes some time on my part.
I know God made some people absolutely upfront about those kinds of things, and others a little more reserved. But honestly, sometimes you get to know people better by observation and listening than talking to them. I don't mean listening in on serious, more private, one-on-one conversations or anything. That can be rude to quite a large extent. But in a group setting, if people are talking back and forth and such, just listening to what's being said totally works. Even if the subject isn't of vulnerable matter or anything, you really can learn about people through what they say, how they react to what's being said, etc.
I like to listen. It's not always easy to do so. It's almost like God is actually teaching me how to listen. And I love that. I think it's something that gets away from a lot of people these days; there's a lot of 'ME, ME, ME!' going on, and not enough 'YOU, YOU, YOU!' I'd like to try and help this situation if possible.
'My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry...'
[James 1:19]
I know God made some people absolutely upfront about those kinds of things, and others a little more reserved. But honestly, sometimes you get to know people better by observation and listening than talking to them. I don't mean listening in on serious, more private, one-on-one conversations or anything. That can be rude to quite a large extent. But in a group setting, if people are talking back and forth and such, just listening to what's being said totally works. Even if the subject isn't of vulnerable matter or anything, you really can learn about people through what they say, how they react to what's being said, etc.
I like to listen. It's not always easy to do so. It's almost like God is actually teaching me how to listen. And I love that. I think it's something that gets away from a lot of people these days; there's a lot of 'ME, ME, ME!' going on, and not enough 'YOU, YOU, YOU!' I'd like to try and help this situation if possible.
'My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry...'
[James 1:19]
August 17, 2008
Ch. 165 - A New Light
Last night there was a bonfire for the new students. Now, when I think ‘bonfire’ I think of large, roaring flames dancing toward the sky. So imagine my disappointment when I reach said bonfire with one of my roommates, Leez, and see a somewhat pathetic, little pit of fire. Okay, so it honestly wasn’t that pathetic. I’m just making a big deal out of nothing. But as people stood around this fire, there was a sense of community that made the fire seem bigger, brighter and warmer than any other bonfire I've experienced.
Someone had brought a guitar and we started to sing some worship songs. Everybody sang. Nobody was too cool to sing. Nobody was too shy to sing. Nobody was too embarrassed to sing. Every single student was lifting their voices in praise to God. Beautiful. His presence was felt by, I'm sure, many of the students. I was so glad that I had made my way over to the fire and was there for that time of praise. It was a perfect way to end the evening, as well as a perfect way to start the week.
' "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." '
[Matthew 18:20]
Someone had brought a guitar and we started to sing some worship songs. Everybody sang. Nobody was too cool to sing. Nobody was too shy to sing. Nobody was too embarrassed to sing. Every single student was lifting their voices in praise to God. Beautiful. His presence was felt by, I'm sure, many of the students. I was so glad that I had made my way over to the fire and was there for that time of praise. It was a perfect way to end the evening, as well as a perfect way to start the week.
' "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." '
[Matthew 18:20]
July 23, 2008
Ch. 140 - Blast From the Past
So this morning I went over to the church to see if Phil (the youth pastor) needed any help on one of the mission teams. Because of the flooding here in Cedar Rapids, the annual Des Moines trip for the Mid-Hi was canceled; the Senior-Hi decided to stay and do flood relief work here instead of going to Minnesota. Also because of the flooding, one of the youth projects that was supposed to happen in June was cancelled - Paint by Neighbors - so that is what the Mid-Hi has been doing this week.
I just sort of placed myself on the Mid-Hi team because I didn't have any work boots, basically. Plus I love working with Mid-Hi, so it was what I wanted to do! But you know, as we headed out to the work sites, I looked around me and realized that I didn't know these middle schoolers. It's a new group and I wondered how this could have happened so suddenly. I felt old. I'm 19, for goodness' sake! I started to worry about not being connected with these kids since I've not been around the youth group for the past couple of years. But I love working with Mid-Hi and I was determined to not let the fact that I didn't know these kids bring me down.
Fortunately, my worries started to dissipate once we got to the houses the group has been working on. All it takes is some introductions, encouragement to get started and a little chit-chat and song-singing while we work to get in my Mid-Hi mode. Soon I was practically one of them and I was in my element, both with the kids and the painting. Bliss.
'Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe...'
[Philippians 2:14-15]
I just sort of placed myself on the Mid-Hi team because I didn't have any work boots, basically. Plus I love working with Mid-Hi, so it was what I wanted to do! But you know, as we headed out to the work sites, I looked around me and realized that I didn't know these middle schoolers. It's a new group and I wondered how this could have happened so suddenly. I felt old. I'm 19, for goodness' sake! I started to worry about not being connected with these kids since I've not been around the youth group for the past couple of years. But I love working with Mid-Hi and I was determined to not let the fact that I didn't know these kids bring me down.
Fortunately, my worries started to dissipate once we got to the houses the group has been working on. All it takes is some introductions, encouragement to get started and a little chit-chat and song-singing while we work to get in my Mid-Hi mode. Soon I was practically one of them and I was in my element, both with the kids and the painting. Bliss.
'Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe...'
[Philippians 2:14-15]
July 21, 2008
Ch. 138 - United in Action
I've finally realized that it doesn't matter what you do or how you do it, but that you do something... for example, in the ways of reaching out, lending a hand, loving, offering an ear or a shoulder, etc. It doesn't matter if you are the mouth of Christ, the arms of Christ, the eyes of Christ, the feet of Christ, or the ears of Christ. Every part of the body is beautiful and useful.
'Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.'
[Romans 12:4-5]
'Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.'
[Romans 12:4-5]
July 7, 2008
Ch. 124 - Building Up, Reaching Out
'Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.'
[Galatians 6:10]
My mom shed some light on this verse for me when I questioned her about it. At first, one may think that it's saying to give special treatment, if you will, to 'those who belong to the family of believers'. However, that's not necessarily the case. When this was written, there was a lot of corruption within the communities that Paul had been to and there wasn't a lot of unity within 'the church'. And in order to love, do good and be a light unto those who were not yet believers, you have to love, do good and be a light within your own group first. You have to be strong throughout and have a firm foundation before you can add on and start building.
[Galatians 6:10]
My mom shed some light on this verse for me when I questioned her about it. At first, one may think that it's saying to give special treatment, if you will, to 'those who belong to the family of believers'. However, that's not necessarily the case. When this was written, there was a lot of corruption within the communities that Paul had been to and there wasn't a lot of unity within 'the church'. And in order to love, do good and be a light unto those who were not yet believers, you have to love, do good and be a light within your own group first. You have to be strong throughout and have a firm foundation before you can add on and start building.
June 12, 2008
Ch. 99 - St. Paul's UMC
The church I attend here in Cedar Rapids, Iowa is St. Paul's United Methodist Church.
I'm not going to lie and say that it's the perfect church.
Because it's not.
Or that we have a perfect congregation.
Truth be told, it's an "old" congregation.
Or that we have a perfect sanctuary.
The stained glass windows were put in upside-down.
Or that we have a perfect choir.
An "old" congregation means "old" voices.
Or that we have a perfect youth program.
There's not often a stable group of kids.
Or that we're situated in a perfect neighborhood.
St. Paul's has had to lock its doors to keep people out.
There are more, but why go on? It's these little things - these supposed flaws, if that's what you want to call them - that make St. Paul's what it is. And I'm coming to realize more and more how much I love St. Paul's.
Who cares if many of its members are 65+ years old?
Does that make St. Paul's any less worthy of my prayers, my presence, my gifts, or my service?
No.
The church's motto is "To know and follow Christ, and to help others know and follow Christ."
And that is what I need to be focusing on.
Not how many kids are - or are not - in the youth program.
Nor how funny the social hall often smells.
Nor how ugly I think the color of the walls in rooms 101 and 103 are being painted.
Because I will always be able to find things to complain about.
That's easy.
But none of that matters.
What does matter is how I can help St. Paul's grow and serve in such ways that will better our neighborhood, community and the world we live in.
And while that's more difficult than complaining, it's the right thing to do - for everyone.
'Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.'
[Psalm 143:10]
I'm not going to lie and say that it's the perfect church.
Because it's not.
Or that we have a perfect congregation.
Truth be told, it's an "old" congregation.
Or that we have a perfect sanctuary.
The stained glass windows were put in upside-down.
Or that we have a perfect choir.
An "old" congregation means "old" voices.
Or that we have a perfect youth program.
There's not often a stable group of kids.
Or that we're situated in a perfect neighborhood.
St. Paul's has had to lock its doors to keep people out.
There are more, but why go on? It's these little things - these supposed flaws, if that's what you want to call them - that make St. Paul's what it is. And I'm coming to realize more and more how much I love St. Paul's.
Who cares if many of its members are 65+ years old?
Does that make St. Paul's any less worthy of my prayers, my presence, my gifts, or my service?
No.
The church's motto is "To know and follow Christ, and to help others know and follow Christ."
And that is what I need to be focusing on.
Not how many kids are - or are not - in the youth program.
Nor how funny the social hall often smells.
Nor how ugly I think the color of the walls in rooms 101 and 103 are being painted.
Because I will always be able to find things to complain about.
That's easy.
But none of that matters.
What does matter is how I can help St. Paul's grow and serve in such ways that will better our neighborhood, community and the world we live in.
And while that's more difficult than complaining, it's the right thing to do - for everyone.
'Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.'
[Psalm 143:10]
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