Today was good.
Not great.
Good.
Simple.
The day went by neither quickly nor slowly, but certainly nice-and-easy. The sun was shining. I noticed new, green life peeking through the surface of soil patches. And the couch I sat on in the SLC library was really comfortable.
What more could I ask for, right?
I laughed a lot today. It wasn't the "Ohhh-gosh-my-stomach-is-killing-me-from-laughing-so-hard" kind of laughter, but it was laughter. And after the past couple of weeks I really needed that.
I feel happy again.
It's about time.
......
April 3, 2008
April 2, 2008
Ch. 79 - Truths
I love hearing God through people. Sometimes I let those people know, sometimes I keep the knowledge for myself.
I love questions that make me think. Really think. I love questions that - even though they've made me think and think and think, and I believe I've finally come up with an answer - will never have an absolute answer. You can argue about ideas all you want and think that you've come to a resolution at the end of the day, but does it matter? Some questions you will never have the answer to. You can have a good idea, sure, but the only One who truly knows the answer is God. Better start making your list now. It's not like you have eternity to think of all the questions you want to ask, after all.
... Right.
I love hearing truths about myself through other people. It doesn't matter if I already know about them or not, or if they're 'good' truths or not. I still find it interesting to hear what other people see in or think of me, especially because it doesn't happen often.
"You're so stubborn."
Tell me about it.
I love talking about something as if it's a secret - even though it's not.
"Tell me something you don't want to tell me right now."
Now that's vulnerability.
So I told him a few things.
Last night, I wanted to scream - just to scream.
I've felt that before.
I'll feel it again.
So I assure you my promise to you will be kept.
I don't like myself.
Do I love myself? Yes.
Not as much as I'd like to, yet I do.
But I don't like myself.
I am subdued.
I miss being colorful.
Read Shakespeare's As You Like It - Act II, Scene VII, lines 139-140.
That's how I used to feel.
But God loves me as I am. He loves me where I am. So why change?
' "... the Father himself loves you... " '
[John 16:27]
I love questions that make me think. Really think. I love questions that - even though they've made me think and think and think, and I believe I've finally come up with an answer - will never have an absolute answer. You can argue about ideas all you want and think that you've come to a resolution at the end of the day, but does it matter? Some questions you will never have the answer to. You can have a good idea, sure, but the only One who truly knows the answer is God. Better start making your list now. It's not like you have eternity to think of all the questions you want to ask, after all.
... Right.
I love hearing truths about myself through other people. It doesn't matter if I already know about them or not, or if they're 'good' truths or not. I still find it interesting to hear what other people see in or think of me, especially because it doesn't happen often.
"You're so stubborn."
Tell me about it.
I love talking about something as if it's a secret - even though it's not.
"Tell me something you don't want to tell me right now."
Now that's vulnerability.
So I told him a few things.
Last night, I wanted to scream - just to scream.
I've felt that before.
I'll feel it again.
So I assure you my promise to you will be kept.
I don't like myself.
Do I love myself? Yes.
Not as much as I'd like to, yet I do.
But I don't like myself.
I am subdued.
I miss being colorful.
Read Shakespeare's As You Like It - Act II, Scene VII, lines 139-140.
That's how I used to feel.
But God loves me as I am. He loves me where I am. So why change?
' "... the Father himself loves you... " '
[John 16:27]
April 1, 2008
Ch. 78 - Godliness and Evil
'But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.'
[1 Timothy 6:6-10]
4. May 2010 Edit:
It is saddening to see what turning away from God can do to someone.
To their health.
Their happiness.
Their family.
Their faith.
Their life.
Especially when they have turned away on the account of greed and envy and jealousy. I think it is incredibly difficult to learn how to be content. And I do think it is something to be learned, because of the times we live in. We can never have enough. We want more. We want bigger and better. We want flashy. We want expensive. We want "priceless".
But we should be desiring the things in this life which are truly priceless... such as love and grace from our Lord God. Salvation. Eternal life.
We can never have enough love.
We should want more of it.
And learn to be truly content with what God gives us.
[1 Timothy 6:6-10]
4. May 2010 Edit:
It is saddening to see what turning away from God can do to someone.
To their health.
Their happiness.
Their family.
Their faith.
Their life.
Especially when they have turned away on the account of greed and envy and jealousy. I think it is incredibly difficult to learn how to be content. And I do think it is something to be learned, because of the times we live in. We can never have enough. We want more. We want bigger and better. We want flashy. We want expensive. We want "priceless".
But we should be desiring the things in this life which are truly priceless... such as love and grace from our Lord God. Salvation. Eternal life.
We can never have enough love.
We should want more of it.
And learn to be truly content with what God gives us.
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