'The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.'
[Hebrews 1:3]
What a majestic and powerful God I know.
I feel so overwhelmed right now... but in a good way.
I am also very content. At peace. What a wonderful place to be.
Hmmm... thankful that my Lord God holds my life in His hands.
Pure and simple.
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 214.
August 26, 2010
August 25, 2010
Ch. 737 - A Transition
Love and be loved.
Annnd that's all I've got.
'... I love you, O Lord, my strength.'
[Psalm 18:1]
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 210.
Annnd that's all I've got.
'... I love you, O Lord, my strength.'
[Psalm 18:1]
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 210.
August 24, 2010
Ch. 736 - ¡Blasphemy!
This morning I was reading in the book of Matthew and the following two verses have stayed with me throughout the day:
' "And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come." '
[Matthew 12:31-32]
I wonder how many people have read these and suddenly become fearful that they have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit. I personally think that you were ever to do so, you would most certainly know... And it's not truly just a case of "speaking a word" against Him. A friend of mine has put it this way: 'How many times have we spoken the Lord's name in vain?' It's okay, He forgives us. Granted, it doesn't give us an excuse to do so. But it's not the end of the world and we are not stripped of our salvation. I believe the blaspheme would be more of an outward sign, and whatever was the root thinking or feeling would become a true, personal belief. I simply cannot imagine what would cause someone to speak against the Holy Spirit and not believe, for example, in His very being or power. It's difficult to think about.
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 206.
' "And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come." '
[Matthew 12:31-32]
I wonder how many people have read these and suddenly become fearful that they have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit. I personally think that you were ever to do so, you would most certainly know... And it's not truly just a case of "speaking a word" against Him. A friend of mine has put it this way: 'How many times have we spoken the Lord's name in vain?' It's okay, He forgives us. Granted, it doesn't give us an excuse to do so. But it's not the end of the world and we are not stripped of our salvation. I believe the blaspheme would be more of an outward sign, and whatever was the root thinking or feeling would become a true, personal belief. I simply cannot imagine what would cause someone to speak against the Holy Spirit and not believe, for example, in His very being or power. It's difficult to think about.
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 206.
August 23, 2010
Ch. 735 - The Ache Within
A few days ago I visited the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City. I really love the arts, and visiting the museum was a wonderful experience. From sculptures to photographs to paintings... I walked through the hallways and exhibit rooms with an open mind and an appreciative eye.
I always feel really comfortable in museums. I enjoy art history and find myself reading up on artists, styles and time periods, etc. from time to time; I especially like to read about my favorite artist, Henri Matisse [click here!], and fauvism. Another little-known fact about Natalie: the 'art' section of Barnes and Noble is more often than not the first section I make a beeline for when I step foot inside. When I look at works of art I feel at peace. Content. Relaxed. Of course, my mind works overtime; I am constantly asking myself questions, wondering about the artistic process and the thoughts of the artist as their hands fabricated the masterpieces that we come to see, know, and love.
So I was really excited to visit a new museum. I thoroughly enjoyed browsing the newest exhibitions, as well as collected works of the museum. Fantastic day. Thus, imagine my surprise when I walked into an extension of the Asian galleries and simply stopped. No breathing. No thinking. No moving. I just... froze. I had walked, head down, into a room painted entirely red. As I lifted my head and looked around, I saw multiple statues of Buddha surrounding me. I mean, there were literally hundreds of Buddha figures in this part of the museum. Large statues, small figurines. Heads, full bodies. And all within different styles. Paintings, too. It was... overwhelming. For a few moments, I felt... afraid. Anxious. Sad.
Aggrieved.
I felt an ache within that I am none too familiar with.
And I hated it.
I truly hated it.
That place.
That sight.
At first, I thought I couldn't handle it.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to scream.
But instead I took a deep breath and continued onward through the sea of statues. Oh, how I longed to run from those red rooms.
So I did.
Well. Practically.
I didn't run so much as walk quickly.
Coward.
But it was okay. Because that ache turned into a rising passion, which evolved into a realization of the deep desire that I have. The desire for people to know the true God. The living God. Creator, Ruler, Master. King of Kings, Lord of Lords. The Lion, the Lamb, the Lover of all souls. That ache turned into a long-lasting fuel that I will be able to use indefinitely.
Besides, what will happen when I go to the Middle East?
Hijabs.
Mosques.
Minarets.
Calligraphy.
Constant reminders of a faith that I once claimed as my own. Downtowns of the Bible Belt have churches on every corner; I'm not going to lie - a mosque on every corner just sounds... weird. The names of Allah and Muhammad on walls and doors and windows and signs.... everywhere. Whether by muezzin or recording, heralds of the call to prayer are heard five times a day... every day.
What then?
Will I freeze up, gripped by fear and anxiety and sadness?
Will I want to run?
Or will I feel, all the more, that ache... that desire... to spread the Word of my Lord God and Savior?
Only He knows.
Regardless, I do know that I can only rely on Him, trusting Him for strength, courage, and boldness.
' "You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments." '
[Exodus 20:3-6]
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 199.
I always feel really comfortable in museums. I enjoy art history and find myself reading up on artists, styles and time periods, etc. from time to time; I especially like to read about my favorite artist, Henri Matisse [click here!], and fauvism. Another little-known fact about Natalie: the 'art' section of Barnes and Noble is more often than not the first section I make a beeline for when I step foot inside. When I look at works of art I feel at peace. Content. Relaxed. Of course, my mind works overtime; I am constantly asking myself questions, wondering about the artistic process and the thoughts of the artist as their hands fabricated the masterpieces that we come to see, know, and love.
So I was really excited to visit a new museum. I thoroughly enjoyed browsing the newest exhibitions, as well as collected works of the museum. Fantastic day. Thus, imagine my surprise when I walked into an extension of the Asian galleries and simply stopped. No breathing. No thinking. No moving. I just... froze. I had walked, head down, into a room painted entirely red. As I lifted my head and looked around, I saw multiple statues of Buddha surrounding me. I mean, there were literally hundreds of Buddha figures in this part of the museum. Large statues, small figurines. Heads, full bodies. And all within different styles. Paintings, too. It was... overwhelming. For a few moments, I felt... afraid. Anxious. Sad.
Aggrieved.
I felt an ache within that I am none too familiar with.
And I hated it.
I truly hated it.
That place.
That sight.
At first, I thought I couldn't handle it.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to scream.
But instead I took a deep breath and continued onward through the sea of statues. Oh, how I longed to run from those red rooms.
So I did.
Well. Practically.
I didn't run so much as walk quickly.
Coward.
But it was okay. Because that ache turned into a rising passion, which evolved into a realization of the deep desire that I have. The desire for people to know the true God. The living God. Creator, Ruler, Master. King of Kings, Lord of Lords. The Lion, the Lamb, the Lover of all souls. That ache turned into a long-lasting fuel that I will be able to use indefinitely.
Besides, what will happen when I go to the Middle East?
Hijabs.
Mosques.
Minarets.
Calligraphy.
Constant reminders of a faith that I once claimed as my own. Downtowns of the Bible Belt have churches on every corner; I'm not going to lie - a mosque on every corner just sounds... weird. The names of Allah and Muhammad on walls and doors and windows and signs.... everywhere. Whether by muezzin or recording, heralds of the call to prayer are heard five times a day... every day.
What then?
Will I freeze up, gripped by fear and anxiety and sadness?
Will I want to run?
Or will I feel, all the more, that ache... that desire... to spread the Word of my Lord God and Savior?
Only He knows.
Regardless, I do know that I can only rely on Him, trusting Him for strength, courage, and boldness.
' "You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments." '
[Exodus 20:3-6]
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 199.
August 22, 2010
Ch. 734 - Qs With No As.
Ten days.
Another fresh start.
' "I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel. "For he is the living God and he endures forever; his kingdom will not be destroyed, his dominion will never end. He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions." '
[Daniel 6:26-27]
Can you imagine what the United States would be like if our president issued a decree like the one above that King Darius issued? If people truly obeyed the decree... what would America look like? Would people truly turn to the "living God" and turn away from their sin? Would they allow themselves to be refined by the fire of God? Would they live their lives for Him? Would the downtrodden find joy? How quickly would people realize that their lives have purpose? Would they grasp the true meaning of the American dream... hope? And would America become the land of the absolute free? How would people come to make a difference in the lives of citizens around the world? How many would fully devote their lives to furthering the kingdom of God? How would God use us? What would He do? What magnificent signs and wonders would He perform? How often would we see deliverance from the lions of today?
What would change?
... Anything?
Are we so far gone... so wrapped up in the lives that we lead... that this decree would mean absolutely nothing to us? Have we no fear? Do we not know the meaning of reverence? Have we forgotten how to righteously adore, honor, obey?
I do not mean to sound pessimistic or anything.
I was just reading the book of Daniel and when I came to those verses I began to ask myself questions such as these. I simply needed to get them out of my mind. Peace and blessings upon you.
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 191.
Another fresh start.
' "I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel. "For he is the living God and he endures forever; his kingdom will not be destroyed, his dominion will never end. He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions." '
[Daniel 6:26-27]
Can you imagine what the United States would be like if our president issued a decree like the one above that King Darius issued? If people truly obeyed the decree... what would America look like? Would people truly turn to the "living God" and turn away from their sin? Would they allow themselves to be refined by the fire of God? Would they live their lives for Him? Would the downtrodden find joy? How quickly would people realize that their lives have purpose? Would they grasp the true meaning of the American dream... hope? And would America become the land of the absolute free? How would people come to make a difference in the lives of citizens around the world? How many would fully devote their lives to furthering the kingdom of God? How would God use us? What would He do? What magnificent signs and wonders would He perform? How often would we see deliverance from the lions of today?
What would change?
... Anything?
Are we so far gone... so wrapped up in the lives that we lead... that this decree would mean absolutely nothing to us? Have we no fear? Do we not know the meaning of reverence? Have we forgotten how to righteously adore, honor, obey?
I do not mean to sound pessimistic or anything.
I was just reading the book of Daniel and when I came to those verses I began to ask myself questions such as these. I simply needed to get them out of my mind. Peace and blessings upon you.
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 191.
August 12, 2010
Ch. 733 - Roots
I have a difficult time accepting... well... many things.
Friend requests on Facebook from people I don't know...
Criticism.
Truths.
Compliments.
Encouragement.
Kindness.
Care.
Love.
I appreciate all these things. Even criticism, if it is constructive. And the truths, too, which could - more often than not - be classified as "hard-to-handle". Oh, okay... maybe not the first item mentioned...
Anyway, I do. Appreciate these things, I mean. But it's like I don't know how to manage them. Want to know the best part? It's pretty obvious to me that I am not exactly a "pro" at giving these things out to others.
Why is this?
... I try. I really do.
I actually think there has been improvement on the giving side of things over the past couple of years. Bible college will do that to you.
But seriously.
Why do I have to work so hard at doing so?
Do I think people are not "worthy" of these things?
Not that my love or friendship is any better or more important than those of another... but perhaps I am convinced that they wouldn't appreciate it. And thus they are not deserving. Of course, then I am not being obedient to the commands of God: '" 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "' [Mark 12:31a] And if I cannot obey the second greatest commandment, surely I am not following the first: '" 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' "' [Mark 12:30]
After all, to obey is to love.
[1 John 5:3]
Is that the root of my problem?
Could it be that I simply do not love God?
At least, not enough?
But then it must be asked again... Why?
Am I unable to accept the aforementioned things from people because I cannot even accept them from the Lord God Himself? Am I unable to give these things out, namely love, because I cannot even give them - it - to Him?
If I can't even accept His love, the only love that truly matters, how can I expect to gain a greater capacity to love Him? Or truly love Him at all? I mean, despite all that I have read and heard, sung and been told, how greatly do I believe that it is true? But how could I not fully believe? For one, I wouldn't be where I am or who I am right now. I wouldn't be going to Central Christian College of the Bible... would I? Would I still be out in Utah, desiring to gain worldly things such as wealth and political power? Or would I be celebrating my third Ramadan, a slave to Islam? And secondly, not fully believing would be like slapping God in the face... why would I ever want to do that? What an image, eh? A finite sinner slapping the face of God... how absurd.
I put myself in chains of doubt and anxiety.
Why?
"It's not true."
I am loved.
I am His joy and delight.
And with that... with nine, simple words... this post is meaningless.
After all, I "know" these things.
I need to entirely embrace this knowledge, though. I need to return that love unto Him, and His beloved people, too. Be loved. Love. Be loved. And then love some more. Stop pushing Him away. Stop building walls. Seek Him and strive to be loved "more". To know Him and the perfect love that He has for me... what a beautiful mission.
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 187.
Friend requests on Facebook from people I don't know...
Criticism.
Truths.
Compliments.
Encouragement.
Kindness.
Care.
Love.
I appreciate all these things. Even criticism, if it is constructive. And the truths, too, which could - more often than not - be classified as "hard-to-handle". Oh, okay... maybe not the first item mentioned...
Anyway, I do. Appreciate these things, I mean. But it's like I don't know how to manage them. Want to know the best part? It's pretty obvious to me that I am not exactly a "pro" at giving these things out to others.
Why is this?
... I try. I really do.
I actually think there has been improvement on the giving side of things over the past couple of years. Bible college will do that to you.
But seriously.
Why do I have to work so hard at doing so?
Do I think people are not "worthy" of these things?
Not that my love or friendship is any better or more important than those of another... but perhaps I am convinced that they wouldn't appreciate it. And thus they are not deserving. Of course, then I am not being obedient to the commands of God: '" 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "' [Mark 12:31a] And if I cannot obey the second greatest commandment, surely I am not following the first: '" 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' "' [Mark 12:30]
After all, to obey is to love.
[1 John 5:3]
Is that the root of my problem?
Could it be that I simply do not love God?
At least, not enough?
But then it must be asked again... Why?
Am I unable to accept the aforementioned things from people because I cannot even accept them from the Lord God Himself? Am I unable to give these things out, namely love, because I cannot even give them - it - to Him?
If I can't even accept His love, the only love that truly matters, how can I expect to gain a greater capacity to love Him? Or truly love Him at all? I mean, despite all that I have read and heard, sung and been told, how greatly do I believe that it is true? But how could I not fully believe? For one, I wouldn't be where I am or who I am right now. I wouldn't be going to Central Christian College of the Bible... would I? Would I still be out in Utah, desiring to gain worldly things such as wealth and political power? Or would I be celebrating my third Ramadan, a slave to Islam? And secondly, not fully believing would be like slapping God in the face... why would I ever want to do that? What an image, eh? A finite sinner slapping the face of God... how absurd.
I put myself in chains of doubt and anxiety.
Why?
"It's not true."
I am loved.
I am His joy and delight.
And with that... with nine, simple words... this post is meaningless.
After all, I "know" these things.
I need to entirely embrace this knowledge, though. I need to return that love unto Him, and His beloved people, too. Be loved. Love. Be loved. And then love some more. Stop pushing Him away. Stop building walls. Seek Him and strive to be loved "more". To know Him and the perfect love that He has for me... what a beautiful mission.
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 187.
August 11, 2010
Ch. 722 - Footsteps
I desire to follow in His footsteps.
'I will follow the Lamb.'
[My Confession by Misty Edwards]
... What an odd-sounding statement.
Aren't lambs supposed to follow?
He is the Shepherd and and the Lamb.
[Regardless...]
His path is narrow.
Uneven.
Rocky.
Sandy.
But it is well-traveled.
And we have a beautiful Guide to call out to if we stray off the path and need help.
He is the Navigator.
The Compass.
The Light.
The Retriever.
He is Power.
Strength.
Boldness.
He is a risk-taker, even.
I can rest in Him. Take heart and courage... find peace. Yet He also comes to rest in me - His garden. I am His lovely dwelling place. And like any garden gives me joy, I give Him joy and delight.
'The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!" '
[John 1:29]
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 178.
'I will follow the Lamb.'
[My Confession by Misty Edwards]
... What an odd-sounding statement.
Aren't lambs supposed to follow?
He is the Shepherd and and the Lamb.
[Regardless...]
His path is narrow.
Uneven.
Rocky.
Sandy.
But it is well-traveled.
And we have a beautiful Guide to call out to if we stray off the path and need help.
He is the Navigator.
The Compass.
The Light.
The Retriever.
He is Power.
Strength.
Boldness.
He is a risk-taker, even.
I can rest in Him. Take heart and courage... find peace. Yet He also comes to rest in me - His garden. I am His lovely dwelling place. And like any garden gives me joy, I give Him joy and delight.
'The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!" '
[John 1:29]
......
Click here to revisit Chapter 178.
August 9, 2010
Ch. 721 - Thoughts, Pt. Five
Strength.
Follow-through.
Edification.
[Encouragement.]
Prayer.
Worship, always.
Spontaneous praise.
Anoint, Lord God.
Wind.
Rain.
Fire.
Oil.
Isaiah 64:1
King of Glory.
Carpenter from Nazareth.
Lamb of God.
Lion of Judah.
Son of Man.
Of David.
He is alive.
His "story" is true.
Follow-through.
Edification.
[Encouragement.]
Prayer.
Worship, always.
Spontaneous praise.
Anoint, Lord God.
Wind.
Rain.
Fire.
Oil.
Isaiah 64:1
King of Glory.
Carpenter from Nazareth.
Lamb of God.
Lion of Judah.
Son of Man.
Of David.
He is alive.
His "story" is true.
August 7, 2010
Ch. 720 - Thoughts, Pt. Four
The other day I was at a store. I was walking down an aisle. The aisle was neither terribly wide nor narrow. I mean, there were people on either side of me and still a bit of room to spare on the outside edges. Walking towards me were a man and a young girl, presumably his daughter. They were holding hands. Right before they passed us, the man raised his hand that was holding the girl's hand, and used her arm to direct her where to go, walking directly behind her. As the two passed, I looked over my shoulder. The man had momentarily let go of the girl's hand, and then as they turned down another aisle, took it again. This made me think of guidance we sometimes receive from God. He walks beside us. With us. But sometimes the path becomes crowded. Narrow. Dark. Difficult to traverse. And I believe that God wants us to learn how to navigate these paths on our own, at times. I mean, I don't think we should always expect God go to ahead of us, clearing a path and shining a bright light. Sometimes we need to move forward on our own. Of course, He will continue to be with us, but one step behind... so that we can learn. Be guided. Trust. In Him, of course... not ourselves. To build up a reliance upon Him, knowing that He will steer us in the correct or desired direction. And just for a moment, He may let go... but we need not fear or worry. He is always with us.
August 2, 2010
Ch. 719 - Thoughts, Pt. Three
Psalm 103
My Lord God forgives.
My Lord God heals.
My Lord God redeems.
My Lord God crowns.
My Lord God satisfies.
He is so great.
Who am I to worry?
To "freak out"?
He has a plan.
He knows me.
And He will help me when it is time to do so.
Until then... He continues to listen. Always.
......
'How many... O God?'
Prayers lifted.
Confessions exclaimed.
Hearts changed.
Tears cried.
... Etc.
"Many - even enough... but yours still matter. You still matter."
Floored.
......
Fire... river... flowing from the throne of God.
Desire.
My Lord God forgives.
My Lord God heals.
My Lord God redeems.
My Lord God crowns.
My Lord God satisfies.
He is so great.
Who am I to worry?
To "freak out"?
He has a plan.
He knows me.
And He will help me when it is time to do so.
Until then... He continues to listen. Always.
......
'How many... O God?'
Prayers lifted.
Confessions exclaimed.
Hearts changed.
Tears cried.
... Etc.
"Many - even enough... but yours still matter. You still matter."
Floored.
......
Fire... river... flowing from the throne of God.
Desire.
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