'Life is messy right now.'
A friend whom I hold dear to my heart said this today while we were chatting. It really hurt me to hear this. I can't bear it when I know things could be going better for my friends.
Now, I don't know the full story behind why my friend said this, but it appears to me as if this is the way life is for a lot of people I know right now. For believers and non-believers alike, things simply don't seem too great. They're getting into trouble and giving into temptation... they're having relational issues... their self-esteem and confidence levels are low... the list goes on, but one thing is for sure: they are hurting.
Straying away from God.
Running with the enemy.
They are in a rut.
And they are either trying to get out but can't seem to get a good foothold - or they are basically at the point of no return and are digging themselves into a deeper rut.
This scares me.
I am concerned.
I am worried.
I am saddened.
I am perturbed.
And I don't know what to do.
The only thing that comes to mind is to just give my concerns and sadness to God and pray about everything that's going on.
And pray about them.
Pray for them.
And pray.
And pray.
And pray.
And offer my ear to those whom would like to simply talk it out, perhaps.
I wish there were something more I could do. I would love for God to use me to help people, in any way He sees fit. However, He is the ultimate Healer and Peace-giver... not to mention the ultimate Janitor; He knows how to clean the messiest spills and accidents imaginable. He is our ultimate Everything.
'Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.'
[Psalm 103:2-5]
December 31, 2008
December 30, 2008
Ch. 291 - What She Saw, Revisited
On December 30, 2007 I wrote in my journal about changes that had occurred within me and how my mother was able to see it. At that point I was really grateful for what she said to me about what God was doing in my life - and I still am.
God is continuously working in my life. I am growing in my faith, maturing and developing strengths and disciplines. I can only hope that this is obvious to people I interact with. I know that this is something I need to work on. There are so many people [even at school] who I may not know are Christians... until they say something about it. I have no problem believing that I am one of those people most of the time, to be honest. I may seem like a good person, I suppose, but I don't know if people can see the impact Christ has had on my life through being around me and speaking with me. I'd love it if that were the truth, but until then, it's something to work on and that's just fine with me.
'And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, express in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.'
[Ephesians 2:6-7]
God is continuously working in my life. I am growing in my faith, maturing and developing strengths and disciplines. I can only hope that this is obvious to people I interact with. I know that this is something I need to work on. There are so many people [even at school] who I may not know are Christians... until they say something about it. I have no problem believing that I am one of those people most of the time, to be honest. I may seem like a good person, I suppose, but I don't know if people can see the impact Christ has had on my life through being around me and speaking with me. I'd love it if that were the truth, but until then, it's something to work on and that's just fine with me.
'And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, express in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.'
[Ephesians 2:6-7]
December 29, 2008
Ch. 290 - Taking a Drive
The map of my life is unique.
It's mine.
It's special.
There are high points and low points.
Mountains. Valleys.
There are cold areas and warm areas.
Rocky plains. Sandy shores.
There are straight and narrow trails.
Focus. The Son.
There are curvy and broad paths.
Iniquity. Temptation.
Twists. Turns.
Resting points. Speed bursts.
Bridges. Tunnels.
Like I said.
Special.
And it does not end.
It keeps unfolding as I live my life.
I will never see the full map.
But that's alright.
I don't need to.
God is my navigator.
Passenger side, shades on, feet up.
Totally relaxed.
He knows what to say, what to do.
He knows where I'm supposed to be going.
Or more importantly, where we're going.
He tells me when to slow down.
When to pull out into crazy traffic.
He protects me.
He tells me when to exit onto the off-ramp.
He guides me through new routes.
Unfamiliar territory.
Uncharted.
It's always been there.
It's just taking the time to finally get from there to here.
One trip at a time.
One drive.
One step.
'Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.'
[Psalm 16:5-8]
It's mine.
It's special.
There are high points and low points.
Mountains. Valleys.
There are cold areas and warm areas.
Rocky plains. Sandy shores.
There are straight and narrow trails.
Focus. The Son.
There are curvy and broad paths.
Iniquity. Temptation.
Twists. Turns.
Resting points. Speed bursts.
Bridges. Tunnels.
Like I said.
Special.
And it does not end.
It keeps unfolding as I live my life.
I will never see the full map.
But that's alright.
I don't need to.
God is my navigator.
Passenger side, shades on, feet up.
Totally relaxed.
He knows what to say, what to do.
He knows where I'm supposed to be going.
Or more importantly, where we're going.
He tells me when to slow down.
When to pull out into crazy traffic.
He protects me.
He tells me when to exit onto the off-ramp.
He guides me through new routes.
Unfamiliar territory.
Uncharted.
It's always been there.
It's just taking the time to finally get from there to here.
One trip at a time.
One drive.
One step.
'Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.'
[Psalm 16:5-8]
December 28, 2008
Ch. 289 - Still Wanting More
'Lord I want more of You.
Living Water rain down on me.
Lord I need more of You.
Living Breath of Life come fill me up.'
[We Are Hungry]
Everything happens for a reason.
And God can be found in every situation.
I trust in God and rely on both He and the knowledge and truth of that realization to get through every day and to live in a way that is pleasing to Him
.
Even so, I find myself needing and wanting more out of day-to-day life. I've said in the past I want more 'of God'. But now I'm asking myself, 'What does that even mean?' I guess it's one of those things where at one point in time, it makes absolute sense and I know perfectly well what it means... but then at other points in time, such as now, I have absolutely no idea what I meant by it and am questioning my ability to understand things like having a relationship with Jesus. I don't mean that I'm questioning my desire to have a relationship; I mean that I am questioning what that relationship should honestly look like and what it truly means to have this incredibly unique two-way street in one's life.
So here's the thing.
God does so much for me.
He has blessed me with so much over the years, seemingly more so in the past couple of years.
Yet I don't really want more from him.
He's given me so much already, including the greatest thing He could ever give.
That's where wanting more of Him comes into mind.
My God is a giving and gracious God. He gives us life, both physical and eternal. He gives us gifts. He gives us abilities. He gives us fruits. He gives us answers. He gives us everything of Himself and then some - to every person, every day. Couldn't getting something from Him be getting something of Him? Because He is all that matters in this world. He is in and of everything. He is in His creation. He is in you. He is in me. If I find myself wanting to be merciful, I pray to God to fill me with mercy so fully that it flows unto others. This would be mercy coming from God. But this is something of God as well, because He is mercy. Thus, wanting more of Him would entail things such as this.
More than anything, I think I should be wanting to be close with God and worship Him. Until I truly understand what I want out of a relationship with Him through wanting more 'of Him', there is nothing more important. Technically, there never will be.
' "And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever." '
[1 Chronicles 28:9]
Living Water rain down on me.
Lord I need more of You.
Living Breath of Life come fill me up.'
[We Are Hungry]
Everything happens for a reason.
And God can be found in every situation.
I trust in God and rely on both He and the knowledge and truth of that realization to get through every day and to live in a way that is pleasing to Him
.
Even so, I find myself needing and wanting more out of day-to-day life. I've said in the past I want more 'of God'. But now I'm asking myself, 'What does that even mean?' I guess it's one of those things where at one point in time, it makes absolute sense and I know perfectly well what it means... but then at other points in time, such as now, I have absolutely no idea what I meant by it and am questioning my ability to understand things like having a relationship with Jesus. I don't mean that I'm questioning my desire to have a relationship; I mean that I am questioning what that relationship should honestly look like and what it truly means to have this incredibly unique two-way street in one's life.
So here's the thing.
God does so much for me.
He has blessed me with so much over the years, seemingly more so in the past couple of years.
Yet I don't really want more from him.
He's given me so much already, including the greatest thing He could ever give.
That's where wanting more of Him comes into mind.
My God is a giving and gracious God. He gives us life, both physical and eternal. He gives us gifts. He gives us abilities. He gives us fruits. He gives us answers. He gives us everything of Himself and then some - to every person, every day. Couldn't getting something from Him be getting something of Him? Because He is all that matters in this world. He is in and of everything. He is in His creation. He is in you. He is in me. If I find myself wanting to be merciful, I pray to God to fill me with mercy so fully that it flows unto others. This would be mercy coming from God. But this is something of God as well, because He is mercy. Thus, wanting more of Him would entail things such as this.
More than anything, I think I should be wanting to be close with God and worship Him. Until I truly understand what I want out of a relationship with Him through wanting more 'of Him', there is nothing more important. Technically, there never will be.
' "And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever." '
[1 Chronicles 28:9]
December 27, 2008
Ch. 288 - Left Breathless
About a week ago I had a five-hour phone conversation with a friend. I hadn't had one of those in a very long time. I mean, I've probably only had a handful of [phone] conversations that lasted that amount of time in my life. I've talked longer than that with people in person, for sure. Either way, I love those conversations. You know. The conversations that feel like they could last forever. The conversations where seemingly no topic is left untouched... and each topic is then related by one person, then the other, to God or faith or 'life'. The conversations where everything just fits. The conversations where you sometimes don't know what the heck you're saying, but suddenly it's out in the open and the other person plays right off of it and you just go back and forth. The conversations that have a fair amount of silence - and the silence is never awkward. It works.
This conversation with that friend entailed all this and more. It was an answer to prayer, honestly, and it was a great conversation. Beautiful. Brilliant. Witty. Deep. It was a learning conversation. We learned about one another. I learned about myself, even.
Certain things became more apparent to me as I talked my way through answering a question or explaining my side to a certain issue. I also picked up on habits I have while talking to people. For one thing, when I talk I like to use my hands. I don't always do this, but I do like to do so. And when other people talk with their hands, I always pick up on it and do the same. When I'm talking on the phone, I doodle. But I didn't realize how much and how monotonously until I tore more than one hole in my paper. I can't help it, I just always have to be doing something with my hands - even when I'm not talking. I have to tap my fingers, or play air-saxophone scales, or push back my cuticles, or twist my hair into knots. My hands are simply restless, I suppose.
Something else I learned is that I like to play devil's advocate. I honestly never realized that until this conversation. But it's true. I think I picked that up from my friend Matt in Utah. Maybe Spencer, too. Anyway, it's fun. I like to look at things from more than one side. I mean, I am basically wanting to live my life for Jesus Christ and wanting to go into a certain field because I have lived on both sides of a spectrum. That's one way I learn really well. I look at both sides, take into consideration the pros and cons of each and analyze the entire situation and its context. I think you have to be thoroughly learned on both sides of a topic in order to be fully knowledgeable of it. You can't be a Christian apologist, for example, without knowing about other religions. You can know Christianity inside and out, but you need to be well-informed of the faiths you are defending Christianity unto.
I brought up apologetics because it is something I am very much interested in. You could say that it is actually a passion of mine. I am constantly striving to equip myself with knowledge that is necessary to defend Christianity through gentle reverence and in a way that is Scripturally-sound. I have come to know myself pretty well over the years and while I am learning more daily, I fully understand that I am a very passionate person. Once I set my mind and heart on something, look out. I pour everything I have into whatever that something may be. I get so excited about it that I can barely stand it. When I talk to people about something I am passionate about, it takes everything I have to think straight and form coherent sentences. I often find myself breathless when I'm talking to others about my passions. I literally have to remind myself to breathe. I get shivers up and down my spine and my heart sets to pounding so hard that sometimes I think it may just jump straight out of my chest into the hands of the person I'm talking to. I say this in a literal and metaphorical sense. I feel that once someone knows a bit about my passions, they know a bit about my heart. And once someone knows my passions inside and out, they will also know of my dreams and aspirations and desires and ideals, because for me all of these things are connected and all of these things come from my heart and are based on love. I can have all of these things because of God's love for me in His creating me - just as I can love because He loved me first.
I am so thankful that God created me the way He did. I will never stop learning about what He has put in my heart and mind and soul and I am glad for this. No one knows me better than He - not even myself - and that gives me great comfort. It's humbling and is a constant reminder of God's love for all of us. And that is yet another thing that leaves me breathless.
'The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.'
[1 Timothy 1:14]
This conversation with that friend entailed all this and more. It was an answer to prayer, honestly, and it was a great conversation. Beautiful. Brilliant. Witty. Deep. It was a learning conversation. We learned about one another. I learned about myself, even.
Certain things became more apparent to me as I talked my way through answering a question or explaining my side to a certain issue. I also picked up on habits I have while talking to people. For one thing, when I talk I like to use my hands. I don't always do this, but I do like to do so. And when other people talk with their hands, I always pick up on it and do the same. When I'm talking on the phone, I doodle. But I didn't realize how much and how monotonously until I tore more than one hole in my paper. I can't help it, I just always have to be doing something with my hands - even when I'm not talking. I have to tap my fingers, or play air-saxophone scales, or push back my cuticles, or twist my hair into knots. My hands are simply restless, I suppose.
Something else I learned is that I like to play devil's advocate. I honestly never realized that until this conversation. But it's true. I think I picked that up from my friend Matt in Utah. Maybe Spencer, too. Anyway, it's fun. I like to look at things from more than one side. I mean, I am basically wanting to live my life for Jesus Christ and wanting to go into a certain field because I have lived on both sides of a spectrum. That's one way I learn really well. I look at both sides, take into consideration the pros and cons of each and analyze the entire situation and its context. I think you have to be thoroughly learned on both sides of a topic in order to be fully knowledgeable of it. You can't be a Christian apologist, for example, without knowing about other religions. You can know Christianity inside and out, but you need to be well-informed of the faiths you are defending Christianity unto.
I brought up apologetics because it is something I am very much interested in. You could say that it is actually a passion of mine. I am constantly striving to equip myself with knowledge that is necessary to defend Christianity through gentle reverence and in a way that is Scripturally-sound. I have come to know myself pretty well over the years and while I am learning more daily, I fully understand that I am a very passionate person. Once I set my mind and heart on something, look out. I pour everything I have into whatever that something may be. I get so excited about it that I can barely stand it. When I talk to people about something I am passionate about, it takes everything I have to think straight and form coherent sentences. I often find myself breathless when I'm talking to others about my passions. I literally have to remind myself to breathe. I get shivers up and down my spine and my heart sets to pounding so hard that sometimes I think it may just jump straight out of my chest into the hands of the person I'm talking to. I say this in a literal and metaphorical sense. I feel that once someone knows a bit about my passions, they know a bit about my heart. And once someone knows my passions inside and out, they will also know of my dreams and aspirations and desires and ideals, because for me all of these things are connected and all of these things come from my heart and are based on love. I can have all of these things because of God's love for me in His creating me - just as I can love because He loved me first.
I am so thankful that God created me the way He did. I will never stop learning about what He has put in my heart and mind and soul and I am glad for this. No one knows me better than He - not even myself - and that gives me great comfort. It's humbling and is a constant reminder of God's love for all of us. And that is yet another thing that leaves me breathless.
'The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.'
[1 Timothy 1:14]
December 26, 2008
Ch. 287 - My Redeemer Lives
'Jesus Christ gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.'
[Titus 2:14]
He gave Himself.
[Titus 2:14]
He gave Himself.
December 25, 2008
Ch. 286 - Celebrating the Birth
'But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord." '
[Luke 2:10-11]
Hallelujah.
Hallelujah.
Hallelujah.
[Luke 2:10-11]
Hallelujah.
Hallelujah.
Hallelujah.
December 24, 2008
Ch. 285 - Seul Choix, Revisited
On December 24, 2007 I wrote in my journal about my pastor's message from the Christmas Eve service. It was basically reiterating the fact that Jesus is our 'seul choix' - our only choice.
I love this, because I know just how true it is. I've said it before [see Ch. 150] - I've tried living life without Jesus... it simply doesn't work. Jesus is the only One that matters, in all things. In everything we say and do and want and need and believe and trust in - Jesus should be the focus. Without Him, our only choice, we are nothing. Our lives are nothing. A wise woman once told me, "You owe your existence to the Trinity." It's true. God not only created us, but also gave us His Son so that we could have true life in Him. And He's the only way to have that life. Jesus is our only choice.
'Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." '
[John 14:6]
I love this, because I know just how true it is. I've said it before [see Ch. 150] - I've tried living life without Jesus... it simply doesn't work. Jesus is the only One that matters, in all things. In everything we say and do and want and need and believe and trust in - Jesus should be the focus. Without Him, our only choice, we are nothing. Our lives are nothing. A wise woman once told me, "You owe your existence to the Trinity." It's true. God not only created us, but also gave us His Son so that we could have true life in Him. And He's the only way to have that life. Jesus is our only choice.
'Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." '
[John 14:6]
December 23, 2008
Ch. 284 - An Encouragement
I love stories.
I always have, I always will.
I like all types of stories.
Sad stories. Happy stories.
Long stories. Short stories.
Complex stories. Simple stories.
I love stories.
I love stories that, while reading, make me pause.
I love stories that, while reading, make me think.
I love stories that, while reading, make me resolve.
I love stories that give me joy.
I love stories that give me answers.
I love stories that give me hope.
I love stories that make me give thanks.
I love stories that make me give praise.
I love stories that make me give myself-
- everything that I am -
in response.
The story of Jesus includes all this and more. From His birth to His temptation, from His first miracle to His crucifixion and resurrection, Jesus' story may be the best story of all time. It is certainly one of the most significant, even to those who are not believers. The best part is, it's everlasting and true. Jesus is not a legend or myth that will fade into non-existence as time marches on. His message lives. His morals live. His ethics live. He lives.
' "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city." '
[Revelation 22:12-14]
I always have, I always will.
I like all types of stories.
Sad stories. Happy stories.
Long stories. Short stories.
Complex stories. Simple stories.
I love stories.
I love stories that, while reading, make me pause.
I love stories that, while reading, make me think.
I love stories that, while reading, make me resolve.
I love stories that give me joy.
I love stories that give me answers.
I love stories that give me hope.
I love stories that make me give thanks.
I love stories that make me give praise.
I love stories that make me give myself-
- everything that I am -
in response.
The story of Jesus includes all this and more. From His birth to His temptation, from His first miracle to His crucifixion and resurrection, Jesus' story may be the best story of all time. It is certainly one of the most significant, even to those who are not believers. The best part is, it's everlasting and true. Jesus is not a legend or myth that will fade into non-existence as time marches on. His message lives. His morals live. His ethics live. He lives.
' "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city." '
[Revelation 22:12-14]
December 22, 2008
Ch. 283 - The Realization, Revisited
I started this blog on January 17, 2008. However, I used journal entries for the first six posts [after the preface] and the first one I used was written on December 22, 2007 - one year ago from today. I remembered this and thought I would go back and read what was written and share my thoughts. I plan on doing this for each calendar day my original journal entries were written.
Let me now move forward to the actual commentary on that first journal entry, written December 22, 2007. I had titled my post 'The Realization' because it was of the time when I finally understood and realized how passionate about God I was. I also realized how much I needed and wanted to serve Him. How, exactly, this would happen (in a vocational sense, at least) I did not know - and even now, an entire year after this beautiful realization, I still do not know. Which is perfectly fine, in my opinion. I mean, I have a couple ideas of what I would like to do in the future, but nothing is set in stone and I am going to have to wait and see what God truly has in store for me.
Something else I also had realized was the fact that I had grown immensely during the past couple of months. I'm going to go ahead and rewrite a paragraph of that post, because I am at the same place now as I was then and feel the same about what I had written:
'My goodness, how I have grown. I love how no matter what, as life goes on, I will never stop learning. I will make more mistakes. I will cry. I will laugh. I will distance myself from Him. I will grow closer to Him. I will see the good in what has been deemed bad, and I will see the bad in what has been deemed good. I will have peace. I will have struggle.'
This is a truth.
It has always been a truth.
It will always be a truth.
This truth has good aspects to it.
This truth has bad aspects to it.
Such is life.
And I'm okay with that.
Because I know that God has given me this truth with His blessing and love.
And because He has given me an even greater truth in His Son, Jesus Christ, who is my Lord and Savior.
That, friends, is the greatest realization of all.
Let me now move forward to the actual commentary on that first journal entry, written December 22, 2007. I had titled my post 'The Realization' because it was of the time when I finally understood and realized how passionate about God I was. I also realized how much I needed and wanted to serve Him. How, exactly, this would happen (in a vocational sense, at least) I did not know - and even now, an entire year after this beautiful realization, I still do not know. Which is perfectly fine, in my opinion. I mean, I have a couple ideas of what I would like to do in the future, but nothing is set in stone and I am going to have to wait and see what God truly has in store for me.
Something else I also had realized was the fact that I had grown immensely during the past couple of months. I'm going to go ahead and rewrite a paragraph of that post, because I am at the same place now as I was then and feel the same about what I had written:
'My goodness, how I have grown. I love how no matter what, as life goes on, I will never stop learning. I will make more mistakes. I will cry. I will laugh. I will distance myself from Him. I will grow closer to Him. I will see the good in what has been deemed bad, and I will see the bad in what has been deemed good. I will have peace. I will have struggle.'
This is a truth.
It has always been a truth.
It will always be a truth.
This truth has good aspects to it.
This truth has bad aspects to it.
Such is life.
And I'm okay with that.
Because I know that God has given me this truth with His blessing and love.
And because He has given me an even greater truth in His Son, Jesus Christ, who is my Lord and Savior.
That, friends, is the greatest realization of all.
December 21, 2008
Ch. 282 - Made Known
'You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.'
[Psalm 16:11]
Made known.
Will fill.
Eternal.
I am blessed.
[Psalm 16:11]
Made known.
Will fill.
Eternal.
I am blessed.
December 20, 2008
Ch. 281 - Assuagement
' "Comfort, comfort my people," says your God. '
[Isaiah 40:1]
15. September 2010 Edit:
Context aside... this is a great, little verse.
There's not a lot that I desire or even need to say.
The fact that the Lord my God offers comfort is wondrous. And the fact that the verse says He offers it to His people is beautiful.
He does not desire anxiety, doubt, worry, fear [other than of Himself, perhaps...], etc. upon us. Our God is loving and gracious and kind. Compassionate. Merciful.
Am I not blessed to know such a good God?
[Isaiah 40:1]
15. September 2010 Edit:
Context aside... this is a great, little verse.
There's not a lot that I desire or even need to say.
The fact that the Lord my God offers comfort is wondrous. And the fact that the verse says He offers it to His people is beautiful.
He does not desire anxiety, doubt, worry, fear [other than of Himself, perhaps...], etc. upon us. Our God is loving and gracious and kind. Compassionate. Merciful.
Am I not blessed to know such a good God?
December 19, 2008
Ch. 280 - Patience and Control
'Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.'
[Proverb 16:32]
I have worked very hard over the years to have patience. And while having patience does help control one's temper, it is still something to be worked on...
[Proverb 16:32]
I have worked very hard over the years to have patience. And while having patience does help control one's temper, it is still something to be worked on...
December 18, 2008
December 17, 2008
Ch. 278 - Be Devoted
This was part of a weekly wisdom on ChristNotes that I copied down a while ago and found today while cleaning out documents on my computer. I really liked it and needed to read it today. It was good for me.
'Far too often, many Christians view evangelism as a game involving "me", the Christian, vs. "you", the non-Christian. However, reaching unbelievers effectively usually requires working with them in order to develop a relationship based on trust, and any relationship requires listening to the other person in order to find out where they are spiritually and emotionally. When you authentically listen to others, they will genuinely listen to you.
In Romans 12:10, Paul writes, 'Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.' To honor other people means respecting them, which includes listening to them. In fact, simply by listening attentively to someone you show that you care about that person: you place value on them.
Remember, people listen to people who listen.'
I do an awful lot of listening to people - which is great, because I love doing so... but sometimes I feel that people aren't willing to reciprocate when I would like an ear or two. This is really not a huge deal, but I find myself disappointed so often that I have come to lower my expectations of people when it comes to that sort of thing. At least I've got the ears of God, they count for like, a thousand ears, at least!
'Far too often, many Christians view evangelism as a game involving "me", the Christian, vs. "you", the non-Christian. However, reaching unbelievers effectively usually requires working with them in order to develop a relationship based on trust, and any relationship requires listening to the other person in order to find out where they are spiritually and emotionally. When you authentically listen to others, they will genuinely listen to you.
In Romans 12:10, Paul writes, 'Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.' To honor other people means respecting them, which includes listening to them. In fact, simply by listening attentively to someone you show that you care about that person: you place value on them.
Remember, people listen to people who listen.'
I do an awful lot of listening to people - which is great, because I love doing so... but sometimes I feel that people aren't willing to reciprocate when I would like an ear or two. This is really not a huge deal, but I find myself disappointed so often that I have come to lower my expectations of people when it comes to that sort of thing. At least I've got the ears of God, they count for like, a thousand ears, at least!
December 16, 2008
Ch. 277 - Intoxicated
Worship is a lifestyle.
I want to live my life in such a way that I am intoxicated with His love, mercy, grace, justice, kindness, peace, joy, patience - with everything that He is.
Everything I do should be centered around God.
This is not the case.
At least not nearly as often as it should be.
As it needs to be.
' "Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth." '
[John 4:23-24]
I want to live my life in such a way that I am intoxicated with His love, mercy, grace, justice, kindness, peace, joy, patience - with everything that He is.
Everything I do should be centered around God.
This is not the case.
At least not nearly as often as it should be.
As it needs to be.
' "Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth." '
[John 4:23-24]
December 15, 2008
Ch. 276 - Stubbornness
'But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God "will give to each person according to what he has done.'
[Romans 2:5-6]
Stubbornness can be a problem for me.
I get it from my mother, I think.
Typical, I'm sure.
Anyway, I'm working on it, I promise.
Slowly but surely... I am making progress.
[Romans 2:5-6]
Stubbornness can be a problem for me.
I get it from my mother, I think.
Typical, I'm sure.
Anyway, I'm working on it, I promise.
Slowly but surely... I am making progress.
December 14, 2008
Ch. 275 - Make Straight the Way
John knew what needed to be said in regards to who he was. He answered questions of who he was with statements of who he was not: messiah, Elijah, the prophet... He knew something - someone - greater than he was coming: the 'Lamb of God' (John 1:29). He knew he was unworthy of the Lamb. He said that he was not worthy to untie the thongs of His sandals, something that could be considered a servant's job. Jesus came to us as a light in the world. He came as a king and yet as a servant. He washed the weary feat of His disciples. He washed them out of love. We should be wanting to do the same, both for Him and for others. That is what it comes down to: love God, love others, serve God, serve others.
'There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.'
[John 1:6-8, 19-28]
'There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.'
[John 1:6-8, 19-28]
December 13, 2008
Ch. 274 - It is Well...
"Love weaves through the soul."
[Dustan Corcoran]
I've decided to take on the soul.
What is it?
What does it mean?
How does it effect us?
How is it effected?
What happens to it over time?
What happens to it when we die?
'Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live.'
[Isaiah 55:2-3]
[Dustan Corcoran]
I've decided to take on the soul.
What is it?
What does it mean?
How does it effect us?
How is it effected?
What happens to it over time?
What happens to it when we die?
'Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live.'
[Isaiah 55:2-3]
December 12, 2008
Ch. 273 - Q&A Time
I like questions.
I like questions a lot.
I like receiving them, mostly.
I'm not a fan of dealing them out, mostly because I'm not good at dealing them out.
Although sometimes they just come to me.
And then it's like I have to ask them... or else I'll go crazy.
I need questions. They keep me on my toes, what can I say? I need questions that don't have answers. I need questions that I can simply think about - questions that don't require discussion or banter... Just... questions.
'I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things.'
[Isaiah 45:7]
I like questions a lot.
I like receiving them, mostly.
I'm not a fan of dealing them out, mostly because I'm not good at dealing them out.
Although sometimes they just come to me.
And then it's like I have to ask them... or else I'll go crazy.
I need questions. They keep me on my toes, what can I say? I need questions that don't have answers. I need questions that I can simply think about - questions that don't require discussion or banter... Just... questions.
'I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things.'
[Isaiah 45:7]
December 11, 2008
Ch. 272 - A Renewal
God is changing my heart again.
Molding it, shaping it.
Restoring it, renewing it.
Transformation.
Does it count if I realize it's happening?
I hope so.
I leave for winter break tomorrow.
I'm going to be home for four weeks.
They're going to be solid.
They're going to be good.
Something great is going to happen.
I don't know what, yet.
But it's going to be great.
God is good. All the time.
'The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.'
[Exodus 15:2]
Molding it, shaping it.
Restoring it, renewing it.
Transformation.
Does it count if I realize it's happening?
I hope so.
I leave for winter break tomorrow.
I'm going to be home for four weeks.
They're going to be solid.
They're going to be good.
Something great is going to happen.
I don't know what, yet.
But it's going to be great.
God is good. All the time.
'The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.'
[Exodus 15:2]
December 10, 2008
Ch. 271 - Imitators of God
'Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.'
[Ephesians 5:1-2]
13. September 2010 Edit:
Believers love these verses.
But do they actually take them to heart? Would they be willing to give themselves up as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God?
...
I have nothing more to say.
[Ephesians 5:1-2]
13. September 2010 Edit:
Believers love these verses.
But do they actually take them to heart? Would they be willing to give themselves up as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God?
...
I have nothing more to say.
December 9, 2008
Ch. 270 - The 'Aha!'
"There's nothing that you could ever do to make me love you less."
This is a quote from a Rob Bell NOOMA video [Lump]. Now, I'm not going to lie: I am not a fan of Rob Bell. However, this single line had quite the impact on me. It is the only line I remember from all the NOOMA videos we watched in our Christian Discipleship class.
"There's nothing that you could ever do to make me love you less."
Rob Bell is telling a story of how his son had taken a little, white ball. Soon his actions and somewhat peculiar behavior catches up to him. His mom asks a simple question and he runs upstairs, hiding under the covers of his parent's bed for two hours. Bell comes home from work and finds him there.
But he doesn't yell at his son.
He doesn't punish him.
He doesn't condemn him.
He simply pulls back the covers and then says, "There's nothing that you could ever do to make me love you less."
This is completely relatable to how God loves us, even with our sin and guilt and shame.
Today my devotional spoke of the same thing. It focused on God's love for us. Midway through I read, 'There is nothing you can do that will make God stop loving you.' I just stopped and read that sentence over and over and over. Aha! I mean, here is something that probably seems so simple to understand, but it had never truly clicked with me until then.
Goodness.
God will never love us less.
God will never stop loving us.
Astounding.
'I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.'
[Galatians 2:20]
This is a quote from a Rob Bell NOOMA video [Lump]. Now, I'm not going to lie: I am not a fan of Rob Bell. However, this single line had quite the impact on me. It is the only line I remember from all the NOOMA videos we watched in our Christian Discipleship class.
"There's nothing that you could ever do to make me love you less."
Rob Bell is telling a story of how his son had taken a little, white ball. Soon his actions and somewhat peculiar behavior catches up to him. His mom asks a simple question and he runs upstairs, hiding under the covers of his parent's bed for two hours. Bell comes home from work and finds him there.
But he doesn't yell at his son.
He doesn't punish him.
He doesn't condemn him.
He simply pulls back the covers and then says, "There's nothing that you could ever do to make me love you less."
This is completely relatable to how God loves us, even with our sin and guilt and shame.
Today my devotional spoke of the same thing. It focused on God's love for us. Midway through I read, 'There is nothing you can do that will make God stop loving you.' I just stopped and read that sentence over and over and over. Aha! I mean, here is something that probably seems so simple to understand, but it had never truly clicked with me until then.
Goodness.
God will never love us less.
God will never stop loving us.
Astounding.
'I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.'
[Galatians 2:20]
December 8, 2008
Ch. 269 - Let it Rain
Yesterday a friend helped me finally realize just how okay it is to not be on top of things, even in your relationship with God. There is no possible way that our relationship with Him is always going to be tip-top, anyway. I'm not saying that you should not strive for it to be, but it is very unlikely that you're always going to be happy where you are with God. You can't have those "God-highs" all the time, you know?
There will be times you're going to be disciplined by God.
There will be times you're going to be attacked by Satan.
There will be times you're going to be far from God.
Seek Him anyway.
You're going to have trials and tribulations.
You're going to have fears and doubts.
You're going to have frustration and sadness.
Share it with Him.
I received some great encouragement from this friend and he really helped me have a more positive attitude and outlook about an issue I am constantly struggling with. I didn't know how much I needed to hear exactly what he said until he did... and I am entirely thankful that God had that beautiful, five-minute conversation planned for us.
'Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.'
[1 Chronicles 16:11]
There will be times you're going to be disciplined by God.
There will be times you're going to be attacked by Satan.
There will be times you're going to be far from God.
Seek Him anyway.
You're going to have trials and tribulations.
You're going to have fears and doubts.
You're going to have frustration and sadness.
Share it with Him.
I received some great encouragement from this friend and he really helped me have a more positive attitude and outlook about an issue I am constantly struggling with. I didn't know how much I needed to hear exactly what he said until he did... and I am entirely thankful that God had that beautiful, five-minute conversation planned for us.
'Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.'
[1 Chronicles 16:11]
December 7, 2008
Ch. 268 - Look to Forgiveness
Repent and ask for forgiveness.
We should be encouraging others, as well as giving constructive criticism. Sometimes that's what it takes for others to realize that they need to change and be forgiven by God.
It can be difficult to do this, that's true. But you have to think about it in terms of having eternal life. Step into that uncomfortable zone and call them out in gentleness and reverence - and maybe help lead them to repentance and salvation... or stay in the comfortably safe zone, and watch them pass by as an unsaved sinner.
The choice is yours.
'It is written in Isaiah the prophet: "I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way" - "a voice of one calling in the desert, 'Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.'" And so John came, baptizing in the desert region and preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.'
[Mark 1:2-4]
We should be encouraging others, as well as giving constructive criticism. Sometimes that's what it takes for others to realize that they need to change and be forgiven by God.
It can be difficult to do this, that's true. But you have to think about it in terms of having eternal life. Step into that uncomfortable zone and call them out in gentleness and reverence - and maybe help lead them to repentance and salvation... or stay in the comfortably safe zone, and watch them pass by as an unsaved sinner.
The choice is yours.
'It is written in Isaiah the prophet: "I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way" - "a voice of one calling in the desert, 'Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.'" And so John came, baptizing in the desert region and preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.'
[Mark 1:2-4]
December 6, 2008
Ch. 267 - Seek HIM
I need to seek Jesus.
'I seek you with all my heart;
do no let me stray from your commands.'
[Psalm 119:10]
I want to do this.
'I seek you with all my heart;
do no let me stray from your commands.'
[Psalm 119:10]
I want to do this.
December 5, 2008
Ch. 266 - I Like Gardening...
Every time I come up with a new idea of what I could do with my life - which I always like to think may very well be what God wants me to do - I am hit with conviction after conviction to do something different. And it always goes back to the same thing.
Planting.
No, not planting flowers or vegetables in a garden.
Church-planting.
I've never really given a lot of thought to doing so until the past couple of months. It's a big part of missions. I mean, I do go back and forth between youth ministry and cross-cultural ministry pretty often... because I would want to start a youth organization out in Salt Lake. Which technically would be a type of mission, I suppose, and not just youth ministry in a church or whatever. But I know that if I were to definitely "do missions" I don't want to do something stereotypical like help out in AIDS orphanages or something. Honestly. I would want to do something like church-planting, I believe. A former student came to my Christian Discipleship class during Missions Emphasis Week and spoke to us about AVANT, a church-planting organization. What he talked about sparked my interest to a great extent. Man... thinking about it gives me the chills. I felt a pretty big tug on the heart while he was talking to us.
Anyway, maybe God's trying to tell me something, here. I really have to think about it. I've got time. I'll just have to wait and see how everything starts panning out.
' "My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Do you not say, 'Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest." '
[John 4:34-35]
Planting.
No, not planting flowers or vegetables in a garden.
Church-planting.
I've never really given a lot of thought to doing so until the past couple of months. It's a big part of missions. I mean, I do go back and forth between youth ministry and cross-cultural ministry pretty often... because I would want to start a youth organization out in Salt Lake. Which technically would be a type of mission, I suppose, and not just youth ministry in a church or whatever. But I know that if I were to definitely "do missions" I don't want to do something stereotypical like help out in AIDS orphanages or something. Honestly. I would want to do something like church-planting, I believe. A former student came to my Christian Discipleship class during Missions Emphasis Week and spoke to us about AVANT, a church-planting organization. What he talked about sparked my interest to a great extent. Man... thinking about it gives me the chills. I felt a pretty big tug on the heart while he was talking to us.
Anyway, maybe God's trying to tell me something, here. I really have to think about it. I've got time. I'll just have to wait and see how everything starts panning out.
' "My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Do you not say, 'Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest." '
[John 4:34-35]
December 4, 2008
Ch. 265 - The Goal of Faith
This week's memory verse:
'Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.'
[1 Peter 1:8-9]
'Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.'
[1 Peter 1:8-9]
December 3, 2008
Ch. 264 - A Slow Walk
So here's the story behind this post. It's actually 2:44 in the afternoon on Thursday. This post is actually a paper I wrote between midnight:30 and 3:00 this morning, and then later between 10:00 and 11:45... ummm, yeah. Anyway. It was an assignment for one of my classes. It's supposedly a spiritual growth plan. Whatever. But I missed yesterday's post ("today") and have nothing on my heart or mind right now - and had no clue what to write about - so I thought I'd post it. I figured it has to do with my faith and my walk with God, technically, so it works. It's a bit long, I wouldn't blame you for not reading it. Just thought I'd give you a heads up now.
......
'Psalm 25:4-7 [NIV] says, ‘Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.’
I feel that this psalm – and more specifically the section of verses above – describes where I am in my walk with God. I want to be taught by Him. I want to be guided by Him. I want to be loved by Him. I want to be forgiven by Him. At times it can be easy to forget that you need all of these things, especially from God. You need to learn. You need to be guided, loved, and forgiven. Because I want and need all of these things, I believe God has brought me to the path I am on. I am where I am for at least one reason, and whether I learn of this reason in five days or five years does not matter. I personally believe it is the here and now that matters. I think God knows that there is something I am searching for in the place where I am, and that is why He has brought me to where I am today. I am constantly seeking something – half the time I do not even know what – and throughout my life He has constantly provided me with the answers I have been looking for. I have not always walked down the straight and narrow path in regards to my faith. I have climbed mountains, I have dug myself into dark trenches. I have walked extremely close with God one day and veered completely off the edge of the map the next. Throughout my trials and accomplishments, sorrows and pleasures, I have made mistakes and learned from them. God is teaching me that I am not perfect. God is teaching me that without Him, I am nothing. And I think that is why He has brought me along the path that I have traveled thus far.
Because of this personal belief, I have come to grow in my faith in more than one way. For example, I have realized how truly wonderful ‘an unhurried life’ is. Taking the time to slow down has become an important aspect of my life. We do have a purpose on this earth and our lives are far too short to rush through everything; I think by rushing we are not able to fully comprehend our purpose and enjoy our fulfillment of what we are meant to do. But even until God reveals that purpose, I think it is important to not rush. God created this earth for our enjoyment, not mere disposal. In my opinion, ‘Take time to smell the roses’ could be, by far, one of the wisest sayings known to mankind. I have also grown through the realization that there is joy and beauty in every situation imaginable. I have lived a fortunate life. I mean, I have never been affected by disease. I have never had to deal with trauma. I have never lived in poverty. I have never been stricken with depression. Sure, I have experienced my share of sadness, frustration, anger… but I have never had to deal with utter tragedy. This is something I am thankful for. Even so, I am curious as to how I would respond to situations where there seems to be no happiness, peace, or joy. I think that God has recently been teaching me how to live with just that – joy. Life is full of those ‘dee dah day’ moments. God gives us gifts daily. It is just a matter of learning how to look for them, grasping them, and fully using them to see God’s own joy and beauty.
Even though I am growing in my faith and am developing what spiritual strengths I do have, there are ways I am completely adverse in regards to growing further and developing those strengths. I believe the first and foremost reason for God putting me on this earth is to wholly worship Him with love, devotion, and dedication. Deuteronomy 6:5 [NIV] says, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength,’ and John 4:23-24 [NIV] says, ‘“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”’ I believe that worship is not merely singing praise to God during church or youth group or chapel services at school. Worship is living your life for God, giving Him everything of yourself, every minute of every day. Yet do I truly live that way? No. As difficult as that may be to admit, it is the truth. It is not that I simply do not focus on Him enough, but it is also that I have turned away from Him entirely before – and more than once. There have been times when I rejected His love, and certainly did not give Him any in return. If that is not falling short of God’s design for me, I do not know what is. I also have not put as much trust in God as I could have. I do not think that I ever tried to put my full trust in Him until this past year, to be honest. I am not a fan of putting my trust in the unseen, the unknown. I like to plan. I like to know what is going to happen. When you put your trust in God, I think you are taking a step towards admitting that you are alright with not knowing what is going to happen. By putting your trust in God, you can be more firm in your beliefs and the faith that you have in Him. I have tried to do things my way, on my time, by my plans for such a long time. This is an absolute weakness and I am constantly striving to place it at the foot of the cross. I trust God. Unfortunately, saying you trust God and completely following through with having trust in Him are two entirely different things. Yet I know that He cares about me enough to have patience with me (ah yes, patience: something I feel I will always be continuing to learn).
I believe it is difficult to place my faith or my walk with God on a scale. Life is constant, but not consistent. It changes with you day-to-day. However, in general, I suppose I would be able to place myself at a five. I know I am always going to have room to grow, no matter where I come to be in life. Certain aspects of my spiritual life are better than others. For example, I would place myself at a nine in regards to prayer, but I would place myself at a four in regards to Scripture reflection or meditation. In four to five years I hope to be at a seven. I want to take things slowly, so that I can absorb as much as possible and get the most out of my relationship with God. I want to be on a slow walk with God.
Of course, there will always be things that hinder our relationship with God. Culture – especially Western culture – is not always very friendly to the believer who is trying to grow spiritually. There are distractions galore in the media, at work, at school, and at home. They come in many forms, such as people, material possessions, success complexes, health problems, violence, and so much more. We are a busy people. We are an independent people. I know that these represent two of my bigger obstacles that I face. Sometimes I always feel like I am going, going, going and that I live in an over-extended lifestyle. However, this is because of choices I have made; I can also choose to move toward the opposite of an over-extended lifestyle. I can choose a life with balance. I believe balance is a key component to healthy spiritual growth. I have to give priority to the important things in life. As of now, those things include God, my family, my health, and my education. Sure, friends are important. Service is, too, as is working. However, if I cannot even focus on my relationship with God, who created me and allows me to even have education, friends, and the ability to serve and work, how can I have all things in my life in order, regardless of priority? Not giving God enough time – and thinking too independently, believing I can do everything on my own – is a large obstacle that I am always striving to overcome.
Fortunately, I am slowly learning how to take larger bounds over these obstacles and by equipping myself with knowledge, as well as practicing spiritual disciplines, I believe I can make a lot of significant progression towards growing in my faith. I think that the righteousness and spiritual growth of mature Christians is not a result of their age or the number of years they have been Christian. I believe it is a result of practicing their disciplines. The willingness to do exactly that is an advantage for spiritual growth, in my opinion. Another advantage would include the fact that I am living in a time and place where I am surrounded by fellow believers. I am not persecuted for my faith in Jesus Christ. I am not cursed or shunned for my beliefs and morals. If I need help with anything, I have people I am able to turn to. I can ask them advice. I can ask them for prayer. I have opportunities to create support systems. Even though I think that we should turn to God with everything first, God does speak through people. We have also been put on this earth to encourage, edify, and grow with one another.
I think that growth can be spurred by many things. We have to want to grow, though. Once we have decided that we do want to grow spiritually, we can then take steps toward doing so. Personally, I know I need to be willing to open up to people more. There are often times when I want to talk about God and my faith, and complain that nobody is willing to be vulnerable. Yet when God presents opportunities to do so by placing people in my life who also want to talk about God and faith, I do not recognize the fact until later – or worse, I simply let the opportunities pass me by if I do recognize it. I also need to nurture growth with God’s Word. I have been working on this a lot lately, but I do not think that we can ever read enough. When I read the promises of God over and over, it helps me remember that He is at work, even when I cannot see Him at work. Hebrews 11:1 [NASB] says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” I also need to cooperate with God as He works, giving Him praise for what He is doing in my life. Pruning and cutting off may be difficult to deal with and it may hurt at times, but it is for the best. It helps us grow efficiently and produce greater amounts of fruit. And with this fruit we can reach out to people and help them grow. The fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23 are as follows: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I need to be praying for said fruit consistently in order to grow effectively.
All things said and done, I have a lot of growing to do – and I am glad.
Romans 12:1-2 [NIV] says, ‘Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will.’ If, by the time I leave this world, I learn how to grow spiritually in such a way that allows me to live the way Romans 12:1-2 describes, I will most likely consider my life well-lived. I want to be able to use what I have learned and what I know I will learn while growing spiritually to help others in the future. Whether I’m a missionary in the Middle East, a youth pastor in Salt Lake City, Utah, or a stay-at-home mom in goodness knows where, I hope to be able to guide others in developing their spiritual disciplines and growing in their faith.'
......
'Psalm 25:4-7 [NIV] says, ‘Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.’
I feel that this psalm – and more specifically the section of verses above – describes where I am in my walk with God. I want to be taught by Him. I want to be guided by Him. I want to be loved by Him. I want to be forgiven by Him. At times it can be easy to forget that you need all of these things, especially from God. You need to learn. You need to be guided, loved, and forgiven. Because I want and need all of these things, I believe God has brought me to the path I am on. I am where I am for at least one reason, and whether I learn of this reason in five days or five years does not matter. I personally believe it is the here and now that matters. I think God knows that there is something I am searching for in the place where I am, and that is why He has brought me to where I am today. I am constantly seeking something – half the time I do not even know what – and throughout my life He has constantly provided me with the answers I have been looking for. I have not always walked down the straight and narrow path in regards to my faith. I have climbed mountains, I have dug myself into dark trenches. I have walked extremely close with God one day and veered completely off the edge of the map the next. Throughout my trials and accomplishments, sorrows and pleasures, I have made mistakes and learned from them. God is teaching me that I am not perfect. God is teaching me that without Him, I am nothing. And I think that is why He has brought me along the path that I have traveled thus far.
Because of this personal belief, I have come to grow in my faith in more than one way. For example, I have realized how truly wonderful ‘an unhurried life’ is. Taking the time to slow down has become an important aspect of my life. We do have a purpose on this earth and our lives are far too short to rush through everything; I think by rushing we are not able to fully comprehend our purpose and enjoy our fulfillment of what we are meant to do. But even until God reveals that purpose, I think it is important to not rush. God created this earth for our enjoyment, not mere disposal. In my opinion, ‘Take time to smell the roses’ could be, by far, one of the wisest sayings known to mankind. I have also grown through the realization that there is joy and beauty in every situation imaginable. I have lived a fortunate life. I mean, I have never been affected by disease. I have never had to deal with trauma. I have never lived in poverty. I have never been stricken with depression. Sure, I have experienced my share of sadness, frustration, anger… but I have never had to deal with utter tragedy. This is something I am thankful for. Even so, I am curious as to how I would respond to situations where there seems to be no happiness, peace, or joy. I think that God has recently been teaching me how to live with just that – joy. Life is full of those ‘dee dah day’ moments. God gives us gifts daily. It is just a matter of learning how to look for them, grasping them, and fully using them to see God’s own joy and beauty.
Even though I am growing in my faith and am developing what spiritual strengths I do have, there are ways I am completely adverse in regards to growing further and developing those strengths. I believe the first and foremost reason for God putting me on this earth is to wholly worship Him with love, devotion, and dedication. Deuteronomy 6:5 [NIV] says, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength,’ and John 4:23-24 [NIV] says, ‘“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”’ I believe that worship is not merely singing praise to God during church or youth group or chapel services at school. Worship is living your life for God, giving Him everything of yourself, every minute of every day. Yet do I truly live that way? No. As difficult as that may be to admit, it is the truth. It is not that I simply do not focus on Him enough, but it is also that I have turned away from Him entirely before – and more than once. There have been times when I rejected His love, and certainly did not give Him any in return. If that is not falling short of God’s design for me, I do not know what is. I also have not put as much trust in God as I could have. I do not think that I ever tried to put my full trust in Him until this past year, to be honest. I am not a fan of putting my trust in the unseen, the unknown. I like to plan. I like to know what is going to happen. When you put your trust in God, I think you are taking a step towards admitting that you are alright with not knowing what is going to happen. By putting your trust in God, you can be more firm in your beliefs and the faith that you have in Him. I have tried to do things my way, on my time, by my plans for such a long time. This is an absolute weakness and I am constantly striving to place it at the foot of the cross. I trust God. Unfortunately, saying you trust God and completely following through with having trust in Him are two entirely different things. Yet I know that He cares about me enough to have patience with me (ah yes, patience: something I feel I will always be continuing to learn).
I believe it is difficult to place my faith or my walk with God on a scale. Life is constant, but not consistent. It changes with you day-to-day. However, in general, I suppose I would be able to place myself at a five. I know I am always going to have room to grow, no matter where I come to be in life. Certain aspects of my spiritual life are better than others. For example, I would place myself at a nine in regards to prayer, but I would place myself at a four in regards to Scripture reflection or meditation. In four to five years I hope to be at a seven. I want to take things slowly, so that I can absorb as much as possible and get the most out of my relationship with God. I want to be on a slow walk with God.
Of course, there will always be things that hinder our relationship with God. Culture – especially Western culture – is not always very friendly to the believer who is trying to grow spiritually. There are distractions galore in the media, at work, at school, and at home. They come in many forms, such as people, material possessions, success complexes, health problems, violence, and so much more. We are a busy people. We are an independent people. I know that these represent two of my bigger obstacles that I face. Sometimes I always feel like I am going, going, going and that I live in an over-extended lifestyle. However, this is because of choices I have made; I can also choose to move toward the opposite of an over-extended lifestyle. I can choose a life with balance. I believe balance is a key component to healthy spiritual growth. I have to give priority to the important things in life. As of now, those things include God, my family, my health, and my education. Sure, friends are important. Service is, too, as is working. However, if I cannot even focus on my relationship with God, who created me and allows me to even have education, friends, and the ability to serve and work, how can I have all things in my life in order, regardless of priority? Not giving God enough time – and thinking too independently, believing I can do everything on my own – is a large obstacle that I am always striving to overcome.
Fortunately, I am slowly learning how to take larger bounds over these obstacles and by equipping myself with knowledge, as well as practicing spiritual disciplines, I believe I can make a lot of significant progression towards growing in my faith. I think that the righteousness and spiritual growth of mature Christians is not a result of their age or the number of years they have been Christian. I believe it is a result of practicing their disciplines. The willingness to do exactly that is an advantage for spiritual growth, in my opinion. Another advantage would include the fact that I am living in a time and place where I am surrounded by fellow believers. I am not persecuted for my faith in Jesus Christ. I am not cursed or shunned for my beliefs and morals. If I need help with anything, I have people I am able to turn to. I can ask them advice. I can ask them for prayer. I have opportunities to create support systems. Even though I think that we should turn to God with everything first, God does speak through people. We have also been put on this earth to encourage, edify, and grow with one another.
I think that growth can be spurred by many things. We have to want to grow, though. Once we have decided that we do want to grow spiritually, we can then take steps toward doing so. Personally, I know I need to be willing to open up to people more. There are often times when I want to talk about God and my faith, and complain that nobody is willing to be vulnerable. Yet when God presents opportunities to do so by placing people in my life who also want to talk about God and faith, I do not recognize the fact until later – or worse, I simply let the opportunities pass me by if I do recognize it. I also need to nurture growth with God’s Word. I have been working on this a lot lately, but I do not think that we can ever read enough. When I read the promises of God over and over, it helps me remember that He is at work, even when I cannot see Him at work. Hebrews 11:1 [NASB] says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” I also need to cooperate with God as He works, giving Him praise for what He is doing in my life. Pruning and cutting off may be difficult to deal with and it may hurt at times, but it is for the best. It helps us grow efficiently and produce greater amounts of fruit. And with this fruit we can reach out to people and help them grow. The fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23 are as follows: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I need to be praying for said fruit consistently in order to grow effectively.
All things said and done, I have a lot of growing to do – and I am glad.
Romans 12:1-2 [NIV] says, ‘Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will.’ If, by the time I leave this world, I learn how to grow spiritually in such a way that allows me to live the way Romans 12:1-2 describes, I will most likely consider my life well-lived. I want to be able to use what I have learned and what I know I will learn while growing spiritually to help others in the future. Whether I’m a missionary in the Middle East, a youth pastor in Salt Lake City, Utah, or a stay-at-home mom in goodness knows where, I hope to be able to guide others in developing their spiritual disciplines and growing in their faith.'
December 2, 2008
Ch. 263 - 'Guard Your Heart'
'Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.'
[Proverbs 4:23]
Alright, I'm getting to the bottom of this. Everyone always thinks that this verse means you should protect your heart in regards to others breaking it and whatnot. Don't let yourself get hurt, basically. But that's not the only thing it means. If you continue after this verse, you will read this:
'Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left, keep your foot from evil.'
[Proverbs 4:24-27]
I believe these verses are telling you to guard your heart from sin. 'Do not swerve to the right or the left, keep your foot from evil.' Stay on the straight and narrow. Don't turn away. Don't let your guard down.
After all, God lives in our heart.
Do we want the dwelling place of God to be in shambles?
Our heart is where He does His work on us.
Do we want all of His hard work to be diminished?
Our heart represents our nature, our character.
Do we want to be turned into characters of sin?
However, I think it does have to do with love as well. I mean, you don't give your heart to just anyone, right? You give it to the one you love. So you should guard your heart in that regard. However, as Christians we give our hearts to God, because it is Him whom we love. So when we have done this, when we have accepted Christ as our Savior, and when we are found to be walking with the Spirit, we can say that we are guarding our hearts. We are guarding them because we have died to sin and are thus protecting them from the enemy and being tainted by the outside world.
[Proverbs 4:23]
Alright, I'm getting to the bottom of this. Everyone always thinks that this verse means you should protect your heart in regards to others breaking it and whatnot. Don't let yourself get hurt, basically. But that's not the only thing it means. If you continue after this verse, you will read this:
'Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left, keep your foot from evil.'
[Proverbs 4:24-27]
I believe these verses are telling you to guard your heart from sin. 'Do not swerve to the right or the left, keep your foot from evil.' Stay on the straight and narrow. Don't turn away. Don't let your guard down.
After all, God lives in our heart.
Do we want the dwelling place of God to be in shambles?
Our heart is where He does His work on us.
Do we want all of His hard work to be diminished?
Our heart represents our nature, our character.
Do we want to be turned into characters of sin?
However, I think it does have to do with love as well. I mean, you don't give your heart to just anyone, right? You give it to the one you love. So you should guard your heart in that regard. However, as Christians we give our hearts to God, because it is Him whom we love. So when we have done this, when we have accepted Christ as our Savior, and when we are found to be walking with the Spirit, we can say that we are guarding our hearts. We are guarding them because we have died to sin and are thus protecting them from the enemy and being tainted by the outside world.
December 1, 2008
Ch. 262 - Wading
I feel like I'm in a baby pool. No matter where I turn, no matter where I step, I am in shallow water. I am desperately seeking deeper waters to dive into. Most of the time I feel like I am learning, but not growing. I am not being stretched. I am not being challenged. I am not being stimulated. I've been saying this over and over, I know. But it's true. Intelligent conversation is a great thing... God-talks are beautiful and encouraging... small groups and Bible studies can be so uplifting... but apparently the only things that matter around here are boys/girls [and marriage], shopping, movies, texting - oh, and the occasional "Biblical discussion" about baptism and its role in salvation.
Deciding to come to this school was one of the best decisions I've ever made. However, it was also one of the worst decisions I've ever made. Don't get me wrong, I love it here. I really do. But sometimes I just want to wake these people up and ask what is wrong with them! Do classes really take so much of their time and attention (both faith-wise and non-faith-wise) that they can't spend some time out of class in discussion, [Bible] study, etc.? Other than in class and chapel, neither God nor the Bible is ever topical. Neither come up in daily conversation. You ask someone how they are and all they respond with is, "I'm tired." Where is your joy? There is a young man on this campus who is different, though. You ask him how he's doing, you'll hear something along the lines of, "I'm blessed," or "I'm fighting the fight." And you know he means what he's saying. He's not just saying it out of habit. Talk to him for a few minutes and you will see just how focused he is. He loves Jesus and it is so incredibly apparent. It's refreshing.
So I suppose part of my problem is that I'm not trying hard enough to find those people who are like-minded and want the same thing I do. Or when I do find them, I'm not initiating anything. I'm not trying to make that connection. I want it so bad right now, though. I need it. I've been doing things on my own lately and it's just not enough. It's kind of like I've only been drinking lemonade. It quenches my thirst for awhile, but in reality it just makes me even more thirsty.
'Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.'
[Proverbs 3:13-18]
......
Ch. 262, Part Two:
Please note that I am speaking about a minority of the school's population. I also admit that I can be quite the hypocrite, so I'm not putting blame on anyone for my disappointment (for lack of a better word). There are always going to be things we can work on. Nobody's perfect. And I certainly don't know people's hearts. This has simply been on my mind lately and I thought I'd get it out there.
Deciding to come to this school was one of the best decisions I've ever made. However, it was also one of the worst decisions I've ever made. Don't get me wrong, I love it here. I really do. But sometimes I just want to wake these people up and ask what is wrong with them! Do classes really take so much of their time and attention (both faith-wise and non-faith-wise) that they can't spend some time out of class in discussion, [Bible] study, etc.? Other than in class and chapel, neither God nor the Bible is ever topical. Neither come up in daily conversation. You ask someone how they are and all they respond with is, "I'm tired." Where is your joy? There is a young man on this campus who is different, though. You ask him how he's doing, you'll hear something along the lines of, "I'm blessed," or "I'm fighting the fight." And you know he means what he's saying. He's not just saying it out of habit. Talk to him for a few minutes and you will see just how focused he is. He loves Jesus and it is so incredibly apparent. It's refreshing.
So I suppose part of my problem is that I'm not trying hard enough to find those people who are like-minded and want the same thing I do. Or when I do find them, I'm not initiating anything. I'm not trying to make that connection. I want it so bad right now, though. I need it. I've been doing things on my own lately and it's just not enough. It's kind of like I've only been drinking lemonade. It quenches my thirst for awhile, but in reality it just makes me even more thirsty.
'Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.'
[Proverbs 3:13-18]
......
Ch. 262, Part Two:
Please note that I am speaking about a minority of the school's population. I also admit that I can be quite the hypocrite, so I'm not putting blame on anyone for my disappointment (for lack of a better word). There are always going to be things we can work on. Nobody's perfect. And I certainly don't know people's hearts. This has simply been on my mind lately and I thought I'd get it out there.
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