Ch. 661 - A Clean Heart

We need a fresh touch of the Spirit.

Everywhere the River flows, there is Life.

Fruit will be produced.

It starts with the heart.
Removal of toxins.
Confession.
Repentance.

Say "Yes."


' "Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean.'" '
[Mark 7:15]

Ch. 268 - Look to Forgiveness

Repent and ask for forgiveness.

We should be encouraging others, as well as giving constructive criticism. Sometimes that's what it takes for others to realize that they need to change and be forgiven by God.

It can be difficult to do this, that's true. But you have to think about it in terms of having eternal life. Step into that uncomfortable zone and call them out in gentleness and reverence - and maybe help lead them to repentance and salvation... or stay in the comfortably safe zone, and watch them pass by as an unsaved sinner.

The choice is yours.


'It is written in Isaiah the prophet: "I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way" - "a voice of one calling in the desert, 'Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.'" And so John came, baptizing in the desert region and preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.'
[Mark 1:2-4]

Ch. 114 - The First of Many

Today I was tested by the Big Guy. Of course I didn't realize I was being tested until I gave up and failed miserably. For some reason, though, I think that's how God wanted it to happen. I understand why. I know what I was being tested on and what the real answer was. I learned a lesson and I'm glad that things panned out the way they did - even though I did, indeed, fail.

I was volunteering at my church, helping unload flood buckets - delivered from across the country - from a semi-truck. We then put some buckets into my youth pastor's truck to deliver to another United Methodist Church in the city. I went to help unload those at the church and when we got back to St. Paul's there was another semi in the parking. People were placing the buckets taken from the first semi into the second. ... 'Wait, what? Why would they do that? What a waste of time.' So I got in line to help reload. I later learned that the second semi was going to stay in our parking lot for the week and our church would be handing out the buckets. 'Alright, that makes sense. I get it now.' Yet as I stood in one of the lines, helping pass buckets, I started to become irritated.

I was basically complaining nonstop in my head.
Terrible.

'Why are there little kids here? They think they're helping - well gosh, their parents are telling them "what a big helper they are!" - while in reality they're simply getting in the way.'

'Why couldn't this have been a youth volunteer event? We would have had this done in no time at all! Ugh. I wouldn't have set things up like this. This is practically organized chaos.'

'Standing shoulder-to-shoulder isn't working. There's no rhythm. I don't even have any room to move my arms to pass this bucket. Ridiculous.'

'Ok, so I get a little space on one side finally and somebody shoves me out of the way, saying "It's my turn to help!" Fine. There's no room for me, so I'll leave.'

And so I did.

As I was walking away I knew it was the wrong thing to do. But my temper got the best of me. Again. I was childish and immature in my actions and I heavily regret leaving. I simply can't be like that.

Having kids around may be a bit burdensome, but their being there is a valuable lesson for them, learning to help and work with others. That's a good thing.

Just because the youth may be a bit stronger than some of the volunteers that were there doesn't mean that the work would have been done any quicker.

The fact that there were so many helpers is truly wonderful! Imagine if only a handful of people had shown up. I'll take too many over not enough any day in situations like that.

I'm not Superman. I can't do everything by myself. And I shouldn't be selfish in wanting to help, even though that almost sounds kind of strange. I need to be working for God - not myself.

I suppose this was sort of like my first test of the new path I've started to walk on. I know, however, that it was by no means my last test. And I'm glad for that. In the future I'm going to have to work with others - and all kinds of other people, at that. I'm going to have to follow plans that aren't my own and may not seem the best or brightest, but I may have no say in how things should or could be done. I'm going to have to learn how to follow before I can lead. I am going to need copious amounts of patience and self-control.

And even though I think that I have died in self and am living in Christ, I certainly don't think it always shines through in my life. I think I'm going to have to commit myself and remind myself that everything is for God every day over. I should be doing that now.

For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver.'

[Psalm 66:10; emphasis my own]

Ch. 78 - Godliness and Evil

'But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.'
[1 Timothy 6:6-10]

4. May 2010 Edit:

It is saddening to see what turning away from God can do to someone.
To their health.
Their happiness.
Their family.
Their faith.
Their life.
Especially when they have turned away on the account of greed and envy and jealousy. I think it is incredibly difficult to learn how to be content. And I do think it is something to be learned, because of the times we live in. We can never have enough. We want more. We want bigger and better. We want flashy. We want expensive. We want "priceless".

But we should be desiring the things in this life which are truly priceless... such as love and grace from our Lord God. Salvation. Eternal life.

We can never have enough love.
We should want more of it.
And learn to be truly content with what God gives us.

Ch. 11 - Forgiven

The next few chapters will be based on music. Specific lyrics, actually, that have really spoken to me over the past couple of days.

'Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain.
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus, and live!'
[Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)]

In believing Christ is our Savior, we are given the most wonderful gifts in the world - eternal salvation and the forgiveness of our sins.

Nothing can top that. God has you beat in every way, hands down. Yeah, that cashmere sweater and set of pearls that you just spent $700 on for your wife's birthday isn't looking too hot anymore, is it?

Usually I save a Bible verse for the end of the post, but I want to put it in now.

'... they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.'
[Revelation 7:14]

This is one of my favorite verses in the book of Revelation. Every time I read it I stop and reflect upon it. I mean, you'd think that if you dipped something in blood, it'd stain and turn that horrid reddish-brown color. But no, not in the blood of the Lamb. His blood made the robes of those who came out of great tribulation white. Not just any shade of white, either - but a dazzling, blinding white. And because they washed their robes in His blood, they get to eternally serve God. They are never hungry. They are never thirsty. The sun does not burn them. The Lamb is their shepherd, leading them to living water. And God takes away all their sadness [based on Revelation 7:15-17].

I have turned to God and laid everything at the foot of the cross... my pride... my insufficiencies... I am no longer bound to, well, anything. I am strong in Him, because He has shown me love, grace and mercy - among other things. I have done a lot of wrong in my life, I mean a lot - and I'm only 18. Yet it's alright, because I know I'm forgiven. That's how I am able to live each day the way I do - to the fullest, with no regrets. I sing to Jesus, and live.

Preface

Alright, this is how it's going to be. My life, my way. No rules. I'm going to do whatever I want, whenever I want, and there's nothing in the universe that can get in my way. Lookout world, here I come!

... These were among my thoughts when I headed to Utah last August. Man oh man, was I glad to be getting out of Iowa. I wasn't leaving home, I was leaving a house, a handful of family members who happened to also be living in Iowa with me, and corn. Lots and lots of corn. Friends? Well, to be honest, I had been growing farther and farther away from them as last summer progressed, and I wasn't exactly in tears over leaving any of them. I say I wasn't leaving home because I never felt like Iowa was my home. I had moved from Alabama when I was ten and to be frank, never wanted to give Iowa a chance. Long story short, I actually did give it a chance, but felt like it didn't give me one in return. I felt restricted in Cedar Rapids, like I couldn't spread my wings. I also felt like I had come to be someone other than my true self.

Here in Utah, it's an entirely different story. I'm home. Granted, I have no family to turn to (physically, at least) and I'm living in a dorm, but that doesn't matter. My friends are my family and my home is Salt Lake, not a house in the woods on Indian Road. Sure, I miss exploring the woods and running the trails of Bever, using our woodchuck-infested barn as a 'secret passage' while playing capture the flag and kick the can at night, and playing 'crack the egg' on our feet-blackening trampoline with my 'big' little brother (who could be an amazing Olympic trampolinist or a fantastic diver if he really wanted to). But I'm ready to explore the Valley and run the mountainous trails, use south campus as my playground and find new 'secret passages,' and play 'promiscuous ninja' games with Darcy and Co.

But you know, what I really wanted to say is this: my thoughts from the beginning of the school year have changed. Remember how I thought nothing in the universe could get in my way of living life how I wanted to live it? I was wrong. Yeah, in case you didn't know, there's this... "Guy"... named God. He's kind of important. He will stop you in your tracks and turn you around a beautiful 180˚. Then, He will make you realize you can't live life your way, by your rules. You see, our God is a selfish God. He wants things done His way... by His rules. But our God is a loving and merciful God as well. He loves us more than our parents do, more than our friends do, and definitely more than we love ourselves. Our God is a generous God. He provides for all of our needs. He gives us gifts through the Holy Spirit, that, when used, glorify Him and help bring the Church together. He gives us answers to our prayers. And, as mentioned afore, He gives us Love. He pours out so much love onto us that we are to return it not only to Him, but to our neighbors as well. These are the two greatest commandments, and even if I could change them to be anything else, I wouldn't.

God is putting a new song in my heart and for this I am more grateful than I am for life itself. I had 'found' God again and things were going really well - or so I thought. I realize now that I was living a lie. I needed Him more than anything, but had pushed Him so far away... yet at the time I thought I had never been closer to Him. I thought everything was fine. It took a difficult confrontation and brutal honesty to wake me up from the daydream I was living in. I think you can be saved in a number of ways. Obviously, saved by Christ's blood is one of them. Another, saved literally - perhaps from a treacherous storm at sea, or from a burning house. You can be saved from an abusive situation. And you can be saved from yourself. I believe I was, indeed, saved from myself by two of my friends.

Since then, my relationship with God has been truly, entirely and beautifully real. I'm growing and learning. I've learned truths about myself. I've had prayers answered. I'm coming to believe that I know what God has in store for me and what He wants of me - for Him and others, perhaps around the world. I owe Him everything. He gave His only Son for us... who in turn gave His life for me. Me. A sinner. A girl who just the other day finally understood what John the Baptist was saying when he said, '... But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.' [Luke 3:16] Strange, right? I mean, it's a nice, simple verse - and its meaning is pretty straightforward. It was just one of those things... it... clicked. It sent a shiver up my spine. It's more meaningful to me than before.

A new start, that's what I've been given. A new start that is fresh and beautiful and good. This is my story.


'I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.'
[Ezekiel 36:26]