Ch. 773 - The List: Likes

Well... there are a lot of things that I like. Take all the things on my "joys" list... I like all those things. But not everything I like brings me joy. Example: I really like water, but it doesn't necessarily provide me with joy. Although I suppose if I was dying of hydration in the middle of a desert, coming upon an oasis would allow for water bringing me joy... Anyway, I am not going to construct a ridiculous list of "likes" for this post. Rather, I would like to write up a short explanation of the importance of those things in life. I wonder whether people really think about just what is "said" about them based upon the things they profess to like or enjoy. I also wonder whether they realize that acting upon said "likes" can be of great assistance to one's happiness in life. Do you know how many people do not like what they do for a living? A lot. I really do think it's a good idea to follow the advice, "Do what you like to do." Okay, with some restriction, I guess. Just because you like to play video games doesn't mean you should do that all day, every day or for a "living". But pursue a career in the video game field, you see? What kind of things that you like fuel your passions? Start there... and see where God leads you.

Ch. 772 - The List: Joys

I suppose I'll begin with the obvious: Jesus is my joy. You know, a friend of mine often posts that statement for her Facebook status. She'll go all out, adding hearts and exclamation points, usually capitalizing all the letters. Nice. Yet as great as that seems, the cynic in me can't help but come out and I usually find myself wondering, 'Really? Is Jesus truly your joy? Does that statement even have any meaning anymore? Or is it now old and tired, and basically habitual?' ... Of course, who am I to judge? But I'm simply being honest.

So.
Jesus is my joy.
My Joy.

He can be - and is - a lot of people's joy... but that means different things to each. While I believe that our Lord God is universal, I don't think that He is the same to each of His children. And I love that. I'm thankful for that. That's another that things that brings me joy - variety. Differences. Knowing that diversity exists makes me happy because it reminds me how grand this place we call "home" is... and that I am merely one person. Small. Finite. It makes me remember how big and powerful and majestic my God is - and that is a wonderful thing. I love thinking about position and location... I mean, currently I am sitting in a room within our student center. The student center is located within the central part of our campus. Our campus is located in southern Moberly, which is in north central Missouri. Missouri is in the Midwest within the United States of America. The country is part of North America, in the western hemisphere. The earth [obviously] consists of two hemispheres. The planet Earth is the third planet from the sun, within the Milky Way galaxy... amid universes and universes and universes.

And yet my Lord God holds my life in His hands.
He knows every thought.
Every desire.
Every fear.
... Everything.

Joyous thoughts, indeed.

Sometimes I wonder if people realize the true joy that is available to us, the joy that is a gift through the Holy Spirit. There is truly a difference between worldly and spiritual joy. Joy unspeakable... uncontrollable, even, to an extent. Let me tell you: the worst time and place to experience this is during the school day... while in class... oh boy - but dare not complain about that! Anyway, this kind of joy fills you entirely. Sometimes you have no idea where it comes from; it simply comes upon you and you can do nothing but accept it and praise God. I think, however, that it is good to ask God for this kind of joy, and expect that He will give it to you. But I also think that it's important to share this joy with others - don't keep it to yourself! Allow the Spirit to move and work through you. Who knows what others will gain from that shared portion of joy? Things such as knowing that a prayer has been answered also gives me great joy. Divine appointments. Vulnerability and meaningful conversation. Sigh... God is good.

On a more secular note, some things that give me simple joy include the following [in no particular order, of course]:

Country drives.
Thunderstorms.
Sitting in clover patches.
Fishing.
Exploring new places.
Memories of Mer.
Empathizing with others.
The smell of fresh cut grass.
My hands - and getting them dirty.
Elephants.
My nephew.
Discipling girls.
Really great, fresh fruits/vegetables.
Mountainous regions/hills.
Being scared [weird, I know].
Spinning.
People-watching/-storymaking.
Wisdom.

Regardless of your definition of joy, and what brings you joy, you should consider taking the time to think about such things, and thank God for providing you with them.

Ch. 771 - The List: Dreams

Ohhh boy. Dreams.
And I'm not talking about dreams that occur during sleep, just a heads up.
[Perhaps another day.]

This is also not a post for encouraging you to "FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!" and "SHOOT FOR THE STARS!" I mean, that's great and everything. Sure, go for it - whatever "it" may be. But this is really just a matter-of-fact type of post. And it's all about me. Me, me, me: the way it should be [mmm, sarcasm... well, sort of].

I suppose I could say that I have a few dreams... a multitude, actually, if I were to interchange the word "dream" with "desire". I desire many things - some more deeply than others. And it is those deep desires that I more fully believe are God's desires for my life, which He has placed within my heart. I'm going to keep it fairly short and sweet, though, and only bring up a few of these dreams/desires/whatever.

Well, dreams... as with fears, I know I have written about dreams in the past. They specifically had to do with ministry outreach to Muslims and Mormons. I feel that a few things have changed in regards to working with Muslims but I don't believe it is God's will for me to do outreach to Mormons. At least not in the foreseeable future. And that's okay. Now, with the Muslim ministry... I don't feel that it is absolutely necessary to go overseas for... well... "forever". I've been thinking about that a lot the past few months. Part of me feels that doing so would hold me back, in a way. And there's just so much I want to do... and a lot of it I don't want to do overseas. So we'll see how things develop here in the semi-near future.

There are some... traditional, you could say... dreams that I have, alongside dreams of serving God and His kingdom. For example, I dream of one day having a husband. A husband who also desires to have a God-centered relationship. A husband who can lead. A husband who is willing to make mistakes, learning from them [because we all know he will make them]. A husband who can help me, but firstly whom I can help. A husband who is thoughtful and caring of others. And, naturally, I dream of having children. Yeah, yeah... I know: "typical woman"... for the most part. I dream of having children who come to love God as I do. Children who fear Him, as well. Children who have good [Southern!] manners. Children who obey. Children who seek the approval of God over that of man. Children who are honest, who understand the importance of morals and values.

[On a less serious note, I also dream of the day that I can finally say that I am not an indecisive person... oh Lord my God, let that day come soon!]

Recently I have realized that a dream of mine - a strong desire, truly - stems from the concept and practice of discipleship. Discipling young women, more specifically [even though I do want to be able to work with kids in general, girls and boys alike]. I have had the opportunity to disciple girls only a few times, but I have cherished those chapters of my life dearly. I feel very strongly about discipleship, and wish that others would, too. It is so important in our journeys to have people we can trust whom we know are willing to teach and guide us... pray with us... give advice... mentor us... help us grow in our faiths, and grow as people in general.

There's so much more. Meaningful things and trivial things - but regardless of their supposed level of importance, they are all unique and special to me because they are part of me. And God has created all parts of me - dreams and desires alike - in a manner that makes me unique and special to Him. I am a daughter of the King of Kings. Wow. All blessing, honor, power, and glory belong to Him.

Ch. 770 - The List: Fears

I have written about fear multiple times in the past. I actually did a search on my blog and the word "fear" came up in 32 posts. Granted, some of those were only in Bible verses, and I may have not actually written about fear... but still.

However, it doesn't matter - especially seeing how fears themselves can change over time. And I feel that mine have. I used to say that I had no fear, other than the fear of God [see Ch. 145 - duly titled 'Fear']. I've also mentioned the fear of man, and the fear of complacency. My biggest fear at one point in time was that of losing God. It happened. But for a reason - and it never will again.

It saddens me that so many people's lives seem to be controlled by their fears. There are approximately 500 indexed phobias... but a phobia is simply a fear. There could be "_______phobia" for anything and everything, technically. The possibilities are endless. But truly, I feel that some people allow their fears to take over... and that's not right. It's not fair to them. But until they realize that whatever they fear can only do so much... those phobias will continue to reign over them.

What is the worst that can happen? Illness? Loss of things or people? Death? These things matter not, if you know that which should truly reign over your life, God. The fear of God displaces all other fears, in my opinion. And if you fear God, if you revere Him, you love Him. And if you love Him, you fear Him. Nothing can touch you when you have these things. I mean, illness will run its course. Both material items and people come and go. Death brings you home.

I feel that currently, I have a variety of petty fears. The Triple-S-Threat... Sharks. Snakes. Spiders. Walking across streets/parking lots. And even of these I suppose I could say that really, I just dislike them intensely rather than truly fear them. Other than that fear of God that I mentioned, I feel like there is nothing that weighs heavy on my heart as a "fear". Which is good. And I am glad there are no fears that control [even a portion of] my life.

... I thank God for that.

Ch. 769 - The List: Plans

I find it interesting that we "plan" in such a variety of ways. There are things that we plan to do - and there are things that we do not plan to do, and yet happen anyway. There are blue-print plans, and flight plans. There are activity plans, and pension plans. There are plans made to achieve and succeed, and there are plans made to ruin and destroy. Designing. Projecting. Intending. All part of the planning process.

I feel that most often, we plan for ourselves - both consciously and subconsciously. Sometimes we have a very specific goal or aim in mind, and plan accordingly. Other times we have a deep desire or need, without even realizing what they are, and yet the paths we traverse are centered around fulfilling or obtaining said desire or need. Westerners especially plan for themselves, I think. Always trying to get ahead, and then stay ahead, of others. We make these lofty plans because of what our culture and media tell us are important: wealth, power, success... and we will do anything and everything to "make it".

Planning... I do love thee.
But I have, to a great extent, given up on you.
You're just no good for me, it seems.
You let me down, time and time again.
How many plans have I created? How many plans have seemed to rule my life? How often has my reliance on plans gotten in the way of truly living? And how often has God had to remind me that it is HIS plan that truly matters the most?

Now, don't get me wrong... I'm not saying that we absolutely, positively cannot plan. For one thing, I think I would go crazy if doing so was not allowed. I am a planner. Simple and true. But "planning" does not define me, nor my life. Not anymore, that is. It certainly used to; God took care of that [see Chapter 8]. I talk about planning a lot, I feel. It really is a big deal to me. Thus, I am so glad that quite some time ago I came to the beautiful realization that God has done enough planning for me... I needn't worry. Or stress. Or be fearful, anxious. And I feel that we do need to make plans to an extent - make plans so that we can follow His plan. We should not, however, be surprised if/when God tweaks our plans. His will be done. If our plans do not fit His will, then, well... He'll help and guide you. That's all. He is in control. He holds us in His hands. And He desires the very best for each and every one of us. What a calming, reassuring thought. God the Provider, God the Creator, God the Planner - He loves you. So seek Him. Trust Him. And obey Him.

Ch. 768: The List - Church

Church.

Church... hm.
Church.

It is difficult to know how to begin. For "church" fills my mind with a multitude of thoughts, all very different from one another. Yet at the same time, they are somewhat complementary to one another. Indeed, "church" has a variety of meanings. At times that knowledge... well... irritates me. Thus, I have a great desire to inform people of those different meanings, because some people do only have a singular view of what "church" is. And truly, their ideas may be somewhat wrong. Now, we can try and change the word around to better describe what "it" is, but I don't think that's very productive. In the end, people are going to continue to use the word "church" the way they see fit to do so.

Church.
It's a building.

Church.
It's a service.

Church.
It's the body of Christ.

I would say my first two layman definitions are both true and false. That is why I go so far as to say some people's ideas as to what church is may be wrong.

Is church a building? No, not really. But people have, over time, continuously said, "We are going over to the church!" to let it be known where they are going. Granted, some may say "church building" rather than merely the church. Truly, the same meaning is implied. To many, "church" is but an architectural structure, and nothing more.

Is church a service? Again, not quite. Oh, but, "We go to church each week." I suppose this is more appropriate than calling a building the church. I mean, by going to church, we gather in order to be edified and praise God. But church is more than a weekly worship service. It is more than something to be placed on a timeline, letting us know when to assemble.

And so we come to the last definition. "Church" is the body of Christ. This is unswervingly true. There is no way around it. It is nothing more, nothing less. It cannot mean anything other than that. It is not used as an explanation for something created by man. The Church is a body of believers, united by the blood of Christ. We are called to serve. We are called to love. Teach. Disciple. Just as children are to obey their mother and father, so too are we to obey our Father God. For the Church is a family. A community. It is more awesome and beautiful than any cathedral ever constructed, and more powerful and Spirit-filled than any worship service conducted. And I am more thankful for the body of Christ than I ever have been before.

......

Ch. 768, Part Two:

A story.
Yesterday I went to... a time of gathering for prayer, music, and teaching... in a building that used to be a bar... okay, just kidding. See what I mean, though? Anyway, when I went to "church" I experienced one of those moments where God seems to say, "Natalie, listen. Look. Pay attention!" I did exactly that, actually. Towards the end of the service we were singing songs of praise to our Lord God. At one point we were told by the pastor to close our eyes and just think about the Father and His love for us. His role as a Comforter. As a Provider. As the congregation did so, the children returned from Sunday school. Their running feet created a wondrous sound as they came into the room. Some feet made little more than a "pitter-pat" on the carpeted floor, while others made a resounding "clomp, clomp, clomp" as they raced back to their seats. I couldn't help but smile and let out a soft laugh. When the footsteps lessened and the music began to pick back up, I opened my eyes. A man sitting in front of me was looking to a back corner of the room. I allowed myself to follow his gaze and saw one of the small boys he had brought with him that morning, standing in the back. The man then smiled widely and opened his arms. The boy ran to him and was enveloped by the man's arms. Oh, what a beautiful sight. I could - can - easily imagine myself in that young boy's shoes, running into the arms of my heavenly Father. I was suddenly filled with a feeling and thoughts of magnificent love. Oh, how I am blessed.

Ch. 767 - The List: Nomads

I can only imagine how many people have ever chosen to describe themselves as living with a nomadic heart. I know that I have, many a time. I believe it to be true. I don't enjoy staying in one particular place for an extended period of time. There is so much to see, hear, smell, do... This world is too big, its people too many, and its experiences too vast to simply stay in one place for all of one's life. Granted, I do realize that some people do have that desire to simply stay put for as long as they live. Born, raised, lived, died - all in one town. And that's great for them... but to many such as myself, that just won't cut it.

My parents moved our family from Alabama to Iowa when I was in fourth grade. That was okay. I then moved to Utah for my first year of college. That was great. Then I moved to Missouri for these last three years of college. That was okay. Each place has its pros and cons, naturally. And what you get out of a place really depends on what you make of your time there. But you know, with every traveling experience [big and small], a deep desire to simply... move... rises up within me. Not constantly, of course. I don't desire to live out of a suitcase and drive to a different state every other week, or backpack through Europe for the rest of my life. I mean, that's a little much. But there is something very appealing about living in such a way that allows for freedom of movement and minimalism.

The nomadic Tuareg tribe of south-Saharan Africa has fascinated me ever since I learned of them a handful of years ago. I mean, the desert in itself is absolutely fascinating. But a people-group who has, throughout time, been intentional in choosing to live there... what could be more interesting? After all, most people strive to live away from the desert. Or, at least to have the amenities to make them comfortable if they do live in or near those types of regions. Now, the Tuareg do not constantly move. They have nomadic seasons, moving only two or three times a year. And the way things are done as a nomadic people has changed over time, due to geographical limitations [i.e., country borders and resource ownership]. There is a large sense of being, rather than doing - so different from the lifestyles and ways of Americans. And I love that. To live in a community that is much defined by simplicity, yet still understands structure and society... that concept and imagery is beautiful to me.

I think that living a nomadic lifestyle would have many benefits. Next to being able to see many different places and people, one would be able to have an influence on said places and people... hopefully in a positive and God-honoring manner. Not attempting to change these things, of course. But rather walking through those doors that God opens... in order to allow Him to work through you... for in the end, it is Him Who changes lives. One reason I would love to be able to work in Romania one day is that I would be doing gypsy outreach. And gypsies are, in essence, nomads. So not only would I be able to learn from them and see how they live, but - over time, God-willing - I would be able to come alongside them, developing relationships. Disciple them. And as they continually move on, they would be able to do the same thing... with those whom they know and meet in the places they travel to. I mean, how neat is that? So in that regard, nomadic living is all the more interesting to think about.

I see nomads as people who do not take much... but are greatly thankful for that which they come upon and use, as well as possess. They move in order to take advantage of different places that offer certain things that they need, and/or to escape that which may threaten or endanger them. Regardless of motive, I do admire those who live nomadic lifestyles.

Ch. 766 - The List: Islam

Oh, how my heart aches.

I see a sister walking down a path that I once traveled.
I see a sister turning away from the Christ whom she so lovingly showed me.
I see a sister making a mistake - even though I know I do not know the story.

I see confusion.
I see desperation.
I see misguidance.

I see a lost girl.

I know.
I feel.
I remember.

I remember what it was like to be lost.
To be going down a path that seems to simply be... "right".

The worst part? Sometimes I feel fingers, reaching from the false light, tugging at me. How strong and relentless they can be. More than once have I believed that my heart and mind were going to be ripped into pieces.

And so I fear for this lost girl that I see.
... Yet all I can do is pray.

Pray that she continues to seek for truth... for the Truth.
Pray that she is influenced by someone as I was influenced by her.
Pray that she turns around and runs back to Him who holds her in His hands.

And pray that she comes to fully understand the meaning of John 14:6.
... Just as I did on that beautiful spring morning two and a half years ago.

Oh, how my heart aches.

But there is a peace that washes over me as I remember that HE is so much bigger than any of us. My soul is calmed as my spirit is stirred.

......

I just realized that this post has something to do with the first item of that "list" I created in Ch. 765. Thus, the title change from "One return. One departure." to "The List: Islam". I had said I would likely be posting reflections on each thing that I listed. I didn't know what those reflections would look like or how/when they would begin. ... But obviously, it just sort of... happened, eh? So alright, then. Here we go.