For the time being, one of my recipes for a great day includes clearing one's head, listening to music, and mowing the lawn. That's it.
Simple.
Beautiful.
I enjoyed today.
I learned something new about myself while mowing the lawn.
It doesn't have to do with mowing.
I was simply mowing while I thought the thought that made me say, "Aha."
I think that I don't always enjoy ministry work (for example, helping with youth groups) very often because everything that I've ever helped with is not what I'm meant to do. Now, I'm not one of those people who find it hard to say no. Yet when asked to help with something, I usually say yes because I know the help is needed - not because I necessarily truly want to. Which really isn't good, in my mind. But I do figure that there will always be things that need to be done that I don't want to do, but will need to do them with a cheerful heart anyway. So I'm preparing myself for the long run, I suppose.
But seriously. I know it's going to take some time to learn about what God has in store for me. And maybe I'll get to experience what it will entail before I go wherever, but maybe I won't. I'm thinking I probably won't, because otherwise I'd just stay and 'do whatever' here. But that's not what I want at all. I know for certain that I want to work with people outside of the United States of America. I'm not supposed to be here. Sometimes I feel that God is playing a trick on me and one day He's going to say to me, "Just kidding, Nat! You're actually supposed to be in [insert country here], but I thought I'd place your family in Cedar Rapids, Iowa instead... just to mess with you. Ha! Pretty funny, eh?!" And then He'd laugh up a storm, and miraculously transport me to whatever other place I'm supposed to be.
Alright. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against Cedar Rapids. Or Iowa. Or the U.S. of A., for that matter. Unfortunately, sometimes I feel... hmmm... ashamed, if you will, being "American" and living where I do. We're wealthy, open, and powerful. But so many people are living in darkness. It's ironic, in my opinion, because we have such freedom - yet we take such great advantage of everything that people have endlessly worked for over the years... and we are constant slaves to society. We are an incredibly selfish and greedy people. Americans have everything at their fingertips, but throw so much of it away. We just don't care. About anything, it seems. And yet most people in foreign countries seemingly "love" Americans. I don't understand. I really don't. And as much as I'd love to be a light for the citizens of this country, I really don't feel that I'm supposed to stay and let God light me on fire day after day. Not here. Not for these people, who have consistent resources and freedom of speech and religion and suffrage and civil rights and cities with cell phone stores on every corner. I feel that Americans have simply lost their way. But I don't feel that I'm supposed to let God us me as a compass for them.
It is what it is.
For now.
Things will get worse.
Then better.
And all people will see and know and follow the True Light... instead of the light radiating off of 'the golden arches'.
'This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.'
[1 John 1:5]
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