Ch. 501 - Passion and Prayer

Passion.
A blessing.
A curse.

I want to do so much with the passions God has placed within me.
But I don't know the first step I need to take, or in what direction I'd take it.

I feel as if I have all this weight pressing on my heart.
And if I don't do something to relieve the pressure, I will go crazy.

I was talking to my mom when I went home the other day. For whatever reason, it was an emotional day. I'm not one to cry often. But then, of course, there are those days where the floodgates open and I can't help myself. I find that usually I'm affected by the people around me when it comes to that kind of thing. So, naturally, because my mom was [I think] more emotional, so was I. Anyway, I was talking about Central and the upcoming year. I talked a lot, and expressed practically every feeling on the spectrum, ranging from sorrow to joy to irritation. It was one of those conversations where I learned a few things as I went along... I didn't really realize what I was saying until after I said it. I was letting my mom know how I felt about some people at school and the leadership and as I sat on a kitchen counter, I burst out with, "I love my school, mom! I love the students!" and started to cry. Out of frustration. Out of happiness. I like that about myself. I have passion for the place where I am and the people I am with at the time being. Someone [whom I've never even met] reminded me that I shouldn't be looking so far to the future to serve God. It's likely that there's a mission and a ministry right where you are. That's more than true for me in the here and now, especially because of where Central is located. Anyway, I simply want so badly to do all I can for my peers. For the school. For the community. See Ch. 398, if you'd like [that's how I'm feeling right now.].

But why are we given passion, desire, and motivation if we don't know what to do with it?
We can tell ourselves to expect God to do great things all we want.
"Praying in faith."
But how do we even begin to pray about letting God incubate our passions within us, letting them develop and grow?

It's simple, I suppose. We just... do.
Pray. And then pray some more.

I mean, why not?
Here's the thing. I love prayer.
But I'm not going to lie - sometimes I find myself wondering what the heck I'm doing. Why would God want to listen to me? Why would He answer my prayers? I'm no one special. Obviously things aren't going to happen if it's not His will, but otherwise it's safe to say that He does, indeed, answer prayer. He sets things in motion for His glory. I just have a hard time believing that He'd want to do anything for us. Man is ugly. There are exceptions. But seriously... we fall. We fall over and over. Yet God continues to be there to catch us and clean up our messes. He even sent His Son to die for us. So when I think about that, I realize that maybe I shouldn't be so frugal and doubtful when it comes to prayer. If laying down your life is the greatest love... it's "been there, done that" for God. I imagine prayer is easy for Him, as the Divine Creator of everything. So really, praying in faith shouldn't be something for me to shy away from. I should be embracing the concept, if anything.

I can't give up on these passions.
I need to be praying for passion, among other things.

God listens.
God gives.
God is good.


' "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." '
[Matthew 21:22]

Ch. 500 - A Comforter

Lately I have felt... off. I'm ecstatic to be at school, I love seeing all of my friends, classes have started... I'm happy. But at the same time, I'm not. It's really quite strange and I don't exactly know what my problem is. I've been trying to turn to God for answers and comfort. Sometimes our struggles seem too much to bear. That is, until we bring our troubles to God and asked Him for help. It's hard to do that, but every time you do, it is absolutely worth it.

I often talk to God and pray to Him when I need that help, when I need that comfort. And His word definitely has a comforting quality to it. It brings peace. Assurance. He comforts me when I feel like I have no one to talk to or when I feel like I have no one who understands me. He comforts me when I am simply at a loss. When I don't know what to say. When I don't know what to think. But the mere fact that I know He is always with me helps and I am usually made to feel better. I have thus learned that sometimes it is perfectly fine to be at a loss. God makes up for what we don't have with unconditional love, mercy, and grace. Knowing these things are characteristics of my God is comforting, even. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be comforted. I am a wretched person and don't feel like I am worthy of help or love. I don't even always do my best to comfort people when something is wrong in their lives, so why should someone, even God, want to comfort me? But my goodness, I am always completely grateful for what my God does to make me feel better and uplift me. For me, the smallest bit of encouragement is usually incredibly encouraging.

I really think, however, the fact that I know my God never turns His ear from me is an amazing realization. So whenever I feel that people aren't willing to listen, I can let my voice and thoughts rise to God and know that He not just hears but listens, and understands me entirely. Beautiful.

'You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them and you listen to their cry...'
[Psalm 10:17]

Ch. 499 - For Christ

On my drive home yesterday I had a lot of time to think. One of my predominant thoughts was on suffering. I came to the conclusion that it pains me to say that I have not, in fact, suffered for Christ. That may seem weird. I mean, who wants to suffer, right? But if there's one thing I feel that I deserve, it's exactly that. I am not inherently good. I am broken. I am with fault. I lie. I judge. I envy. I am a sinner. So in my mind, I "deserve" to suffer, in a sense.

Yet even with all of my shortcomings I am loved by my Father and His Son... and I love Them in return. Jesus was crucified on a cross for me. He has suffered more than I ever have by carrying the sins of the world on His shoulders. But what have I done for Christ?

Nothing.

Even out of my extreme love and adoration of Him, I have not brought anything upon myself. Do I really love and adore Him as much as I think I do?

I don't sacrifice anything of myself for Him. And as much as I want to tell others about Christ and just put myself out there for others, I have had little experience in doing so and truly believe that thus, I have yet to suffer in any way, shape, or form. Christianity may be a persecuted religion, but as a member of the body of Christ I have not felt that arm of social injustice as of yet. For all I know I may suffer immensely in the years to come as I give myself to Christ all the more as His servant. But for now, I will remain in my sheltered, ignorant, bubble of bliss here at Central Christian College of the Bible in Moberly, Missouri. I will sit and do my homework and fulfill my required service hours like the good Christian student that I am. Complacent and comfortable, compliant and complaisant.

... Right?

WRONG.

If I don't start becoming bold in my faith, speaking out in Christ's name, or giving glory to God for all things said and done right here and right now, then when will I?
In a week?
A month?
A year?
Five, ten years?

Unacceptable.

Christ suffered for more than one reason.
But those reasons do not include 'so that Natalie can just chill at Bible college while learning to be an "authentic kingdom leader" but not apply herself while not on the field'.

Christ could come back tomorrow. He could come back in eleven minutes.

But what will I have done for His Kingdom?
Will He say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"?
Or will He say instead, "I don't know you or where you come from. Away from me."?

I know which one I want to hear.
And if I get to suffer for Jesus Christ while serving His Father, then the Lord God will let it be so. I simply cannot be complacent and expect great things to happen in and by His name. I need to be willing to take chances. Risks. Be a rebel for Christ (cliché, I know).

God is good.
He offers us true life.
Living water.
What do we offer Him?
Our praises?
Our service?
Our own lives?

Or do we cast aside the thought that He deserves everything and more?

Today I was making cookies for some people. At one point I burnt my thumb while taking out a tray. I thought to myself, "Man. These cookies better be appreciated."

Do you think that as Christ hung on the cross He was thinking, "Man. All mankind better appreciate my doing this."?

...... Just a thought.


'If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died.'
[2 Corinthians 5:13-14]

Ch. 498 - A Desire and Truth

'The fear of the Lord is the beginning of
wisdom;
all who follow his precepts have
good understanding.
To him belongs eternal praise.'
[Psalm 111:10]

Ch. 497 - A Little Goes a Long Way

I really like genuine people.


'Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.'
[Romans 12:9-10]

Ch. 496 - Holy Living

'Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of the God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.'
[Colossians 3:1-2]

As I was reading through Colossians this evening, these verses really spoke to me. I think that because the school year has finally begun [ok, well, basically begun] that my focus has quickly shifted. This summer I was not setting my heart and mind on things above. I should have. I needed to. But I didn't. It's as simple as that. As I've said before, I just didn't care. Yet now that I'm back at school, it's 'time' to turn back to God and be a good girl who reads her Bible... a girl who is 'joyful always, prays continually, and gives thanks in all circumstances'... a girl who 'does not let any unwholesome talk come out of her mouth'... a girl living for God, and only God. Easier said than done. But that's what it's about. Trials. Joys. Working at it. The journey. The relationship. The foundation. But I can't live a cyclical life. I can't go back and forth. Die daily. Live for Him. Be forgiven. Be loved. Always.

My heart and mind really do need to be set on Christ continually. If I want growth, God will plant the seeds when my motives and desires are true and based on His will for me. It's time to raise the bar for setting expectations of myself. Because I think I've reached a point where my expectations are simply not high enough. They're too easy to reach.

It's a new year.
And with the new year comes new goals.
New experiences.
New hurts.
New dreams.
New prayers.
New tribulations.
New hopes.
New challenges.
New deceptions.
New friends.
New encouragement.
New gossip.
New thoughts.
New calls.
New life, it seems.

And I thank God for this, because a renewal is taking place. God is cleansing my heart and I feel that His doing so will better enable me to take up my cross daily and more readily do what Colossians 3:1-2 says to do.

What a beautiful God I have and know.

Ch. 495 - Something to Seek

God brings people together for many reasons. And while we may not always know what those reasons are at the time of meeting, the fact that there is, in fact, a reason, makes time spent with other people all the more special. I think - no, I know - we take time for granted. For certain, I am incredibly guilty of doing so. But do I then attempt to make the most out of the time I am given by God every day? ... No. I even go so far as to complain that there aren't enough hours in a day, yet I am never as productive as I could be. I just feel so backwards, sometimes. And usually I don't try to turn myself around until I am given a push in the right direction. Going back to my original thought, though: we need to make the most of our time - especially considering the fact that our life here on earth is so incredibly short.

Nate Sallie sings, "Heaven's just a breath away, and I can't waste another day pretending that tomorrow's a guarantee; I've got to face my reality," in his song 'Heaven's Just a Breath Away'. How true these lyrics are.

Anyway, I simply love the fact that my God knows me so well and wants the best for me. He delivers joy, laughter, and cheer through other people and it makes me think about how personal and small my God is. But then I am always awestruck when I realize that He's holding not only my life in His hands, but the lives of everyone around me, as well - and I think about how caring and big my God is.

I know I'm kind of jumping around from here to there, but I have a lot on my mind right now. So really, these are my thoughts going straight down through my fingers into the computer. Recently I've been thinking more about what I'm writing, unlike in the past, but not today - that's for sure.

Joy.
Help.
Beauty.
Seeking and grasping all the more.


'One thing I ask of the Lord,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the
Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.'
[Psalm 27:4-5]

Ch. 494 - The Second Start

I am typing this from my room at Central Christian College of the Bible. It's the start of my second year at Central and I could not be happier to be back at school! I - along with many others I've talked to recently - are so positive that it's going to be a fantastic year. I'm really excited to see how God moves and changes the hearts of people throughout their time at Central. There's so much to learn, too! It never ceases to amaze me how big and awesome our God is. We'll never know everything, and I can't even begin to imagine how much there is to know, anyway. But it's fun to attempt to do so, in a sense. Anyway, I'm simply ecstatic to be back and get started on Thursday. My classes for the semester are as follows:

SALT: Motivation
Survey of Literature
New Testament Prophecy [Revelation]
Israel After the Exile
World Religions and Cultures
Foundations of World Missions
Cross-Cultural Communication
Interpersonal Communication

22 credit hours, service hours for SALT, Harvesters, devotions, random going-ons here and there, going home now and then... ETC., ETC., ETC. I'll be kept busy this semester, that's for sure. At least I'm really looking forward to it all. And it helps that I truly love school and learning. I enjoy studying, I enjoy doing my assignments.

It's going to be a good year.
I can't wait to see what God does.
Fantastic.


' "God is exalted in his power.
Who is a teacher like him?
Who has prescribed his ways for him,
Or said to him, 'You have donw
wrong'?
Remember to extol his work,
which men have praised in song.
All mankind has seen it;
men gaze on from afar.
How great is our God - beyond our
understanding!
the number of his years is past
finding out." '
[Job 36:22-26]

Ch. 493 - A Gift of Peace

So lately I've been thinking a lot about peace. And I mean a lot. I'm not talking about 'being at peace' in regards to not being at war... And while I don’t really want to go with the stereotypical aspects of what peace is or is not. Yet I feel I may have to. I mean, again - at its simplest form, peace is the absence of conflict. But it’s so much more than that. There are two types of peace, in my opinion. First, there’s having that external peace within the world around you... a quiet serenity, perhaps. Then there’s the internal peace that only you know about. It’s an inner calm that nobody but God can give you. Thus said, I think being at peace internally is certainly a gift. Hopefully that makes sense. I believe having that sense of peace – especially within yourself – is important. There’s so much turmoil and conflict in the world that we could use all the peace we can possibly get! In all seriousness, though, there truly is nothing like feeling you have received that inner peace from your God. I think people don't always realize how nice it is to have that peace...

Peace is knowing that you are loved.
Cherished.
Peace is knowing that you are safe.
Forgiven.
Peace is knowing that you are significant in an insignificant world.
Worthwhile.

I feel these are the gifts God is giving me at this point in time.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Because here's the thing. Any peace is better than no peace, first of all. And coming from our Most High Lord God, how could you say what He gives is not good enough for you? He knows exactly what we need, when we need it. So while I may not fully understand what He's doing with me, it's okay. Because I know what He does is good. I also may not feel like I'm filled to the brim with peace, but I do feel that I have enough to be able to seek and grasp that joy that I've been seeking for what seems like a lifetime. I think the main thing is that I feel like God is giving me the go-ahead. I can proceed, you know? I'm not taking one step forward and ten steps back anymore. It's one step forward, one step forward, one step forward. Man oh man, those steps are small. But I'm moving. And I'm not looking back. I'm thankful for what God is giving me in the here and now. He is more than praiseworthy. He deserves the best from us. Praise Him.


'Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.'
[2 Thessalonians 3:16]

Ch. 492 - What Christ "Did"

Last semester I was asked a question for a journal prompt: 'What did Christ do for you?' The best I could come up was saying something along the lines of "What didn't He do for me?' And even though I've honestly been thinking about this topic for quite some time now, it's as if my mind freezes up and I don't know what to say. I want something easy to be good enough, but it shouldn't be. I could go even further on taking the easy route and give the simplistic, Sunday school answer: everything. God did so much for mankind by giving us His Son. Not only did Christ provide the perfect example of what our lives should looks like, but through His death and resurrection He gave us life - true life. I really could go on and on about 'what Christ did' for me, but I'm pretty sure I don't have enough words in me to do so. Not to mention my life on this earth is finite and could end any moment. However, I will say this: Because Christ conquered the grave, I am not held down. I am free. I will have eternal life with Christ because I am not bound to hell by the chains of sin. Praise God for His grace, mercy, and love! There is so much to praise and thank God for because of what His Son did for us. It truly is incomprehensible. We will never be able to fully understand why God loves us so much... neither will we ever fully understand what He saved us from. I honestly don't think that I ever want to know, but the fact that He did indeed save us from darkness and death is mind-blowing. I don't even know what else to say. There's so much to say, but I just don't know how to say it. I think I'm going to have to leave it at that. God is good. Christ is good. All the time.


' "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." '
[Mark 10:45]

Ch. 491 - Margin

So I was cleaning out my inbox today and was going through some old devotionals. I found this one and, seeing how I start classes on Thursday, thought it pretty appropriate. I've promised myself that I'm going to procrastinate less this term and get the amount of sleep I need each night to function properly (eight hours - no more, no less). I don't want to get to feeling so overloaded that I just start going through the motions and don't put enough time in for what's truly important: spending time with my God.

'A lot of people are on overload and headed for a crash. Consider these statistics among U.S. citizens:
- People now sleep 2 1/2 fewer hours each night compared to people from one hundred years ago.
- The average work week is longer now than it was in the 1960s.
- The average office worker has 36 hours of work piled up on his or her desk. It takes three hours a week just to sort through it and find what we need.
- We spend eight months of our lives opening junk mail, two years of our lives playing phone tag with people who are too busy to answer, and five years waiting for people who are trying to do too much and are late for meetings.

We're a piled-on, stretched-to-the limit society; chronically rushed, chronically late, chronically exhausted. Many of us feel like Job did when he said, "I have no peace! I have no quiet! I have no rest! And trouble keeps coming" (Job 3:26, GWT). Overload comes when we have too much activity in our lives, too much change, too many choices, too much work, too much debt, too much media exposure.

Dr. Richard Swenson says, "The conditions of modern day living devour margin. If you're homeless we direct you to a shelter. If you're penniless we offer you food stamps. If you're breathless we connect you to oxygen. But if you're marginless we give you one more thing to do. Marginless is being thirty minutes late to the doctor's office because you were twenty minutes late getting out of the hairdresser because you were ten minutes late dropping the children off at school because the car ran out of gas two blocks from a gas station and you forgot your purse. That's marginless."

You need margin in your life. When you're not hurrying and worrying all the time, you have time to think. Time to relax. Time to enjoy life. Time to be still and know that God is God (Psalm 46:10).'

Ch. 490 - Utopia

'In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.'
[Genesis 1:1]

'For by him all things were created; things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.'
[Colossians 1:16]

The world was created by and for God, and God was for the world. God is for the world. This place that God created was, in a sense, ideal. There was no evil to be known. There was no violence. There was no terror. There was no war. The world that God created was peaceful, serene, and lush with life. Simply put, the world was beautiful. God created man for interpersonal relationship. God knew man, and man was to know God. Man, however, had to... mess up. Granted, it was all part of God's plan, but why? I mean, the world was perfect... But since the fall of man, mankind has been immersed in sin. Mankind is also surrounded by hatred. There have been crises, uprisings, downfalls, and death. It seems as if there has been little harmony in the world since its creation. However, there have been people who have focused on - even obsessed over - the idea of creating and living in a once-again ideal, harmonic world... one much like the world that God first created for man. For you. For me. But throughout this seemingly subtle pursuit of heaven on earth, or paradise, more trouble has been caused than anything. "Free will" and laws [designed by man] are out of sync with God's intended way of life, and thus create anarchy, disorder, and societal disasters. Even so, many continue to live in hope that the world can be changed and turned back into the world that God first created: a place of proportion, peace, and perfection. This place, called by many Utopia, may or may not ever exist. I wonder how far man would go in attempt to create and attain this so-called paradise on earth. Probably pretty far... the thing is, it can't be done without Christ in the picture. This is something we should be thankful for. If it weren't the case, there's no telling what Utopia would look like - or what the world will end up looking like before Christ comes again.

Ch. 489 - ¿¿Any Questions??

I wonder how many questions I have been asked and will be asked over my lifetime. Questions about God. Life. Fears. Boyzzz. Dreams/Nightmares. Expectations. Faith. School. Baby carrots. Heaven/Hell. Interests. Family. Gossip. Failures. Black holes/Quasars. You know. The usual good question topics. Here's the thing, though. Some questions are obviously less involved. The basic, non-investigative questions that can be answered with a simple 'yes' or 'no' seem to be pretty popular with people these days [I'm holding myself back on this today - lucky you]. But there are some questions that can be discussed for quite a length of time, and will be discussed more than once, even. It's no mystery that there are questions that don't technically have an answer. We can try as hard as we want to answer the questions that we think should have an absolute answer. But whether we like it or not, sometimes they are simply not going to be answered… the subject matter may actually be quite inexplicable.

These questions I speak of are not like math problems. You can’t start at step one with a formula or an equation and solve it step-by-step. You’re not going to find answers in any proofs, no matter how many times you try and work it out - even backwards. No, these questions are more like art. You start out with a basic idea of where you want to go or where you think things should go. As time passes, you add a little something here – a bit of extra there – you go back and paint over something you don’t like anymore. And then, perhaps even before you expect it, you’re done. You set it out on display and people come to view it. You discuss it and explain it to the viewers, but even so, sometimes they just don’t get it… even if they think they see the [whole] picture. They then become so set on what they "see" that they fail to open their minds and comprehend the meaning of the painting.

I think people get so hung up on questions and answers. There is so much more to life than arguing about certain things - especially about topic matter that we will technically never fully understand. I am completely for searching out truths and for bringing up things we as finite people are curious about. But when it gets to the point where people become obsessed, defensive, and bitter... well, naturally, it then becomes a problem. Questions that make you think and challenge you - especially in areas such as your faith - are wonderful. We just shouldn't get so hung up on the unknown and thinking that we need to know everything. Knowledge may be power, but it's not the most important thing in the world. I wonder how many men have wasted away their lives searching for answers to meaningless questions.


'For wisdom will enter your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.'
[Proverbs 2:10-11]

Ch. 488 - Baaaaaa...

This may sound somewhat strange to just say outright, but I love reading about sheep in the Bible - especially lost sheep. I think it's important to remember that Christ is our Shepherd. He watches over us. He guides us. He protects us. We are like sheep in that we sometimes go astray and that we need guidance. We need to be led. We like to believe that we'll be fine on our own, but that is not realistic. Without guidance, we will be lost. We want to go explore the whole world - after all, the grass is greener on the other side, right? And I think that's perfectly fine... as long as we don't go running along so quickly that our eagerness gets us into trouble. We need help. We need counsel. Jesus gives us all these things as our Shepherd. He keeps our best interests at heart. He may let us wander off on our own for a bit, but when things become too risky, too dangerous, He guides us back to where He can fully "see" us. Shepherds protect their sheep. They are willing to give their lives for their sheep, as shown to us in John 10:11:

' "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." '

Christ gave His life for His sheep, us. As our Shepherd, we know Him and He knows us. I think we are also like sheep in that we are created with a purpose. For example, sheep are raised for their wool, usually. We have purpose[s], too. For some, it's to teach. For others, it's to proclaim the Gospel in other countries. Still for others, it's to simply love others and plant seeds. We do these things under the constant guidance of our Shepherd, who loves us and takes care of us... even when we get to those points in life at which we don't think He's watching.


'Know that the Lord is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.'
[Psalm 100:3]

Ch. 487 - Leaving the Safe Zone

I think that humility should be wanted, but not sought. If one is humble, something they lack may be pride or arrogance. They could be considered to be on a lower level than most others. But you know, we are such a prideful people. It is our nature to want to be on a higher level than others. Some of the reasoning behind that is the fact that we have a survival instinct. If you are on a higher level, we are [most likely] wealthy, powerful, and influential. The more you are of at least one of these things, the better chance you have of not being stepped on or taken out.

You're safe.

Unfortunately, pride or arrogance usually border these higher levels, which could be considered "safe zones". So it can be challenging to want to be humble.

Who naturally wants to be low?
Who wants to serve others?
Who wants to be the least and last?
Who wants to help without the need for recognition or acknowledgment?

We have to be willing to put others before ourselves - which, again, goes against our survival instincts. But we can't survive on our own, anyway; we truly need to rely on God. I think humility is, however, a key factor of being a servant of Christ. Humility keeps us on our toes. I think it comes to us without our realizing it. And of course, being humbled by God can be a difficult experience, but God knows what's best for us and He wants to help us in anything and everything. If that means humbling us to put us in our rightful places, then so be it. We aren't likely to do that ourselves, so we need all the help we can get. Once people understand that they can't put their own interests and selves before God and others, I think life will become much easier for others. When we're not so concerned with the way things "need to" or "should" go so that we can get ahead, things seem to just fall in place. Being humble and serving others in a Christlike manner doesn't mean that we're not going to have challenges, of course. Living a worshipful, Christ-centered life is no cakewalk. However, it does have its benefits and rewards. But first you need to step out of your safe zone. Recognize that you are not perfect. And understand that the world does not revolve around you.


' "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men - robbers, evildoers, adulterers - or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.' But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." '
[Luke 18:10-14]

Ch. 486 - An Accumulation

I was deleting some documents from my computer just now and found this. I don't remember how I acquired it, but there it was. I didn't put these verses together, but it was wonderful to read through them.

Creation: God spoke it into existence. Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly with your God. Love your neighbor as yourself. Obey God's word. Seek Him first. Forgive as you have been forgiven. Lay down your life for your brother. Feed the hungry. Clothe the naked. Look after orphans and widows. Pray for one another. Give to all who ask. Let your mouth overflow with praise with thanksgiving. Trust in the Lord. Mourn with those who mourn. Love your enemies. Store up His commands in your heart. Have childlike faith. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling. Acknowledge Christ in everything. Get wisdom. Guard your heart. Rejoice in your sufferings. Guard your lips. Walk with the wise. Do not fear. Forget the former things. Delight in the Lord. Bow down in worship. Wait patiently for the Lord. Be controlled by the Spirit. Offer your body as a living sacrifice to God. Be a peacemaker. Comfort others with the comfort you received. Press on towards the goal. Honor God with your body. Stand firm in your faith. Set your hearts on things above. Fix your eyes on what is eternal not temporary. Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Boast about your weaknesses. Clothe yourselves with kindness and compassion. Build others up. Be completely humble and gentle with one another. Be rooted and built up in Christ. Put off your old self. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Focus on what is pure and lovely. Be imitators of God. Be holy. Put on the full armor of God. Bear with one another. Let the word of Christ dwell in you. Do what the Word says. Sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs to one another. Grow in the grace and knowledge of God. Do nothing out of selfish ambition. Work at whatever you do with all your heart. Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances. Be quick to listen, slow to speak. Run your race with perseverance. Be clear minded and self controlled. Love one another.

Ch. 485 - Start Your Engines!

I know it's not August 24. But I'm back. It's [only] been twenty days. I really should have stopped writing earlier (like the beginning of the summer...), but it's been beneficial to not have written for three weeks. I really feel that the time has come to just... start over. Things happen. People change. Lessons are learned. But God remains faithful. And good. And gracious.

I love that.
(Who wouldn't?)

Moving on, a branch of my life is dead and I am alive in Christ. Free. I'm more than ready to move forward and take life one day at a time once again. Because whatever "it" may be - it is so much bigger than I am. This world, this life, this call, this beautiful Creator I say is my God. Selfish desires and pride shouldn't fit into the picture, yet sadly enough they do. But you know, I think it's a good thing. We get so worked up and push God so far out of our minds that we don't realize we were ever on the cliff's edge until we're falling. What pushed you? Those desires. That pride. Sin. Soon enough, we find ourselves hitting rock bottom. Hurts, doesn't it? Yet praise be - we have Someone to help pick us up and brush the dirt off of us. He's especially good at ridding our hearts of the muck and grime that it's accumulated over time. What a humbling experience. Sin enables us to have reality checks. I mean, without sin, wouldn't we be living in [essentially] a perfect world? We are reminded of our inadequacy and unworthiness through sin and falling down. Because whether you believe it or not, you will fall eventually. And it will be more or less difficult to get back up, depending on how willing you are to turn to God and trust Him to help you. You can't do everything on your own. You simply can't. We like to think we're superheroes. "I can do anything." "No one can touch me." Guess what? It's not true. My apologies to the big executives of multi-billion dollar corporations and to the perfect-casserole-making soccer moms.

We need God.
We need God all the time.
Not only when our child is being baptized.
Not right after our college years, when we "grow up".
Not on our deathbed, right before we die.
We need Him now and forever.

That's what it comes down to.

And we need to love Him.
Because He loves us.
Have you ever given love to someone and felt you didn't receive love in return?
Not exactly a picnic in the park.
God's love is indefinite. Unconditional. It's a perfect love.
He loves us no matter what.
We have nothing to lose by loving Him.
So I wonder how much it hurts God when we don't love Him.
I wonder how much it hurts when we push Him away, time and time again.

God may not need us, but that doesn't mean He doesn't want our love or that He doesn't want to be our Everything to and for us.


'Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!'
[Isaiah 30:18]