Ch. 606 - Reason

' "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name." '
[Psalm 91:14]

Ch. 605 - He is Intimate

I'm really glad my God is good.
And loving.
And merciful.
And just.

He wants the best for us.

He is expectant.
He is joyful.
He is hopeful.
He is confident for and towards us.


'My son, preserve sound judgment and
discernment,
do not let them out of your sight;
they will be life for you,
an ornament to grace your neck.
Then you will go on your way in safety,
and your foot will not stumble;
when you lie down, you will not be
afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will
be sweet.
Have no fear of sudden disaster
or of the ruin that overtakes the
wicked,
for the Lord will be your confidence
and will keep your foot from being
snared.'
[Proverbs 3:21-26]

Ch. 604 - Winter Cleaning

In God, there is no darkness. He wants to be the true light in our lives, protecting and guiding us. As that light, the Lord God sees and knows me. Even so, there's nothing wrong with asking God to investigate our lives. It's a bold request, really: 'Search me, O God, and know my heart...' [Psalm 139:23]. But it's a necessity that we often overlook, I think. By asking this of God, and wholeheartedly believing that He will do so, we would be more aware of all that He desires for us - as well as what we are doing that we shouldn't be.

'... know my heart...' Even though God knows it better than I, sometimes I wish He didn't. Because I don't feel it's something that should be known, if that makes sense.

Psalm 51:10 says, 'Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.'

How often do we truly desire to have a pure heart before God? Do we ever even think about it? Or perhaps we simply read this verse in our Bibles and think, 'Oh, that's nice. David's making up with God for having committed adultery with Bathsheba. Wow. What a "man after God's own heart." '

That's right he was a man after His heart... because God's heart is pure - we should be attempting to have the exact same thing. And I think the only way we can start to achieve that is through the full awareness that God looks at our hearts and judges us. If we aren't willing to listen to what He says based on His observations of our hearts, and do some housekeeping out of obedience, then we are nothing.

Out of love for God, listen to Him.
Clean up your act.
Get right.
Attempt to stand before Him with a pure heart.


'O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your
praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I
would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt
offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken
spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.'
[Psalm 51:15-17]

Ch. 603 - Faith to Follow

Faith is made up of that which comes from both the heart and head. The Holy Spirit, being God, is encouraging. We can often find the faith to follow through being encouraged [by the Holy Spirit]. This encouragement, though of the Holy Spirit, so often comes to us through other people. Encouragement can bring about faith, or increase it.

So encourage.
Have faith.
Give faith.
Seek Him.
Take that leap.

You never know what it will allow God to do through you.


'And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.'
[Hebrews 11:6]

Ch. 602 - What to Gain

'Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.'
[Psalm 90:12]

Ch. 601 - Thinking on Thoughts

It's interesting to think back and reflect on what you've learned over time.

For the past four months, I have been carrying around a little, aqua memo book. It contains all sorts of things. Lists. Bible verses. Thoughts on Bible verses. Prayers. Thoughts on prayers. Class notes. Thoughts on classes. Quotes from people and songs. Questions. A few answers. Fortune cookie fortunes... anything and everything has been up for game.

But I like it like that.

This memo book is precious to me.

I filled out the last page yesterday, and looked through the book today.

You know what? Everything was so random, that it was as if I was starting a new book or something for every page I flipped. I suppose that's what I get for writing down anything and everything sporadically, as opposed to regularly and on a specific topic.

But I like it like that.

Got me to thinking...
Sometimes what I learn about God is pretty random.
I mean, there's just so much to God, that I'm always learning something new. And sometimes what I learn is unexpected - as are most of His answers to my prayers. Those are pretty sporadic, too.

But I like it like that.
Keeps me on my toes, you know?

I am simply grateful that no matter what, my God is constant - even when I am not. Which is a lot of the time, not gonna lie.

I don't like it like that.

Yet God is good.
Always.

I like that, too.


'Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.'
[James 1:17]]

Ch. 600 - "The Reason"

'For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.'
[Isaiah 9:6]

Remember.

......

Ch. 600, Part Two:

Okay. I have to admit: I can't help but be pleased that Christmas Day's chapter is a nice, even number with two zeroes. I simply can't!

Ch. 599 - As You Trust

'And again, Isaiah says,

"The Root of Jesse will spring up,
one who will arise to rule over the nations;
the Gentiles will hope in him."

May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.'
[Romans 15:12-13]

Ch. 598 - A Gift of Hope

'Lord God, please answer my prayer.'

"Not yet."

WHOA.


'This, the first of his miraculous signs, Jesus performed at Cana in Galilee. He thus revealed his glory, and his disciples put their faith in him.'
[John 2:11]

Ch. 597 - Sons of God

'Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.'
[Matthew 5:9]

Are you a peacemaker?

Ch. 596 - God WITH Us

' "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" - which means, "God with us." '
[Matthew 1:23]

Ch. 595 - Saada

Today in church an acolyte was having a hard time lighting her candelabra. They're always a little tricky; the wicks are usually too short or whatever. For a good two minutes or so, she kept trying to light those candles. She's a bit on the short side, so that didn't help matters. The congregation twittered and chuckled as she continued to reach up. Those candles simply would not light. She eventually lowered her arms and lighting pole, and looked out with a seemingly helpless, concerned look on her face. But then Pastor Harlan walked toward her and reached behind her to lower the candelabra, so that she could better reach it.

That was it.

The moment.

The answer to prayer I've been waiting for.
I can't wait to see what else God shows me from here on out.

Sometimes we simply cannot do things on our own.
We need a little help.

With an "I can do it myself!" mindset, we're not always going to be able to do what we think we can do, or what has been set before us to do. Don't be afraid to ask for help, or admit that you cannot do something. Pride gets you nowhere.


'But you, O Lord, be not far off;
O my Strength, come quickly to help me.'
[Psalm 22:19]

Mehhh context...

(By the way, 'saada' means assistant, or helper [in Swahili]. How I know this is another story for another day.)

Ch. 594 - Contemplation...

I'm thinking about lot of things right now.
I have so many options.
I simply have yet to pray about any of them.

I should probably start doing that.

God has a lot to say.
Am I listening?


'This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him.'
[1 John 5:14-15]

I love these verses. I think I've used them a couple times before... I'll probably use them again. Most excellent.

Ch. 593 - Peas in a Pod?

'A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.'
[Proverbs 18:24]

Who is your friend that sticks closer than a brother?
Thank God for them.

Also... I'm pretty sure that Jesus is One who would always stick closer than a brother. I could be wrong... but I highly doubt it. Just sayin'.

Ch. 592 - "Fight fight fight fight!"

' "Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God." '
[Acts 5:38-39]

Ch. 591 - A Beautiful Journey

FREEDOM!

Sweet, sweet freedom.
From school, that is.

I won't be back in class until five weeks from today.

Music to my ears.

But I have a lot of work to do over break.
Time to return.
Again.
[Because it's "time to return" terribly often, for me.]

Nobody's path is ever perfectly straight and narrow. It can't be. It just can't be. Nobody's ever climbing a continual mountain. Valleys. Deserts. Oases. ... Arctic tundras. They're all part of the journey.

I'm glad.


'A psalm. For giving thanks. Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. '
[Psalm 100:1-2]

Ch. 590 - What Have I Gained?

'I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.'
[Ecclesiastes 2:10-11]

Fitting.
Somewhat, at least.

Ch. 589 - Transitions

The end of the semester is fast approaching. Four finals and a paper stand in my way of going home for break.

Anyway.

This was a tough semester for me. It's hard to verbalize why. Classes weren't terrible. But as I've said before, my thoughts on which classes I thought I would like the most quickly changed... I started to dread a couple classes almost right off the bat. That didn't help. The past few weeks have been incredibly stressful. I was never really behind, but I was never really ahead, either. I'm a pretty stress-free person. I can honestly say I'm able to count the number of times I've truly felt stressed on one hand. Well, now two. So yeah, stress is a rarity. But seriously. The duration of this time of stress was almost unbearable. Literally, three weeks of stress... doesn't do a lot of good for a person's mental and physical health, let me tell you. I've been tired. Weak, even. I've been sick [another rarity for me]. I've been irritable and thus rude, grumpy, and just downright mean. So the moments of joy and laughter I received I held onto dearly and those are what helped me [BARELY] make it to this very moment.

That's not right.

Why?

God was nowhere in all of this, that's why.
I didn't let Him in.
I pushed Him aside.
I remember literally thinking, 'I don't have time for God right now.'

What a hypocrite I am.

I'm the one you hear saying, "MAKE time for God!"

These weeks would have been so much easier had I done exactly that.
It would also make the transition into break a lot smoother, I think.

Because I know I'm going to have to work just that much more to make sure I establish a routinely manner of spending time with God and whatnot. Otherwise, it'll never happen. "It takes twenty days to establish a habit." That's two-thirds of my break right there! If only I hadn't wasted the past twenty days without God, I'd be leaps and bounds ahead.

If, if, if.

I can look back and regret my decisions all I want, but doing so won't change anything. I realize that. But still. If only...

CHANGE IS A-COMIN'!


'I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.'
[Psalm 34:4]

I like this verse, because it reminds me that by answering me when I seek the Lord, He is, in fact, delivering me from my very greatest fear.

Ch. 588 - In the Desert

'I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.'
[Psalm 143:6]

Precision.
As always.

Ch. 587 - Candy Cane Symbolism

I really like candy canes.
I mean... I really like candy canes.

I don't know why, exactly.
I just do.

At the StuCo Christmas party I was told the story of how the candy cane supposedly came into existence.

[To make sure I got it right, I used a website's story.]

A candymaker in Indiana wanted to make a candy that would remind people of the true meaning of Christmas; so he made the candy cane to incorporate several symbols for the birth, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ. He began with a stick of pure white, hard candy: white to symbolize the virgin birth and the sinless nature of Jesus, and hard candy to symbolize the solid rock, the foundation of the Church, and the firmness of the promises of God.

The candymaker then shaped his cane into the form of a "J" to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to the earth as Savior. It could also represent the staff of the "Good Shepherd" with which He reaches down to to reclaim the fallen lambs who, like sheep, have gone astray.

Thinking that the candy was somewhat plain, the candymaker stained it with red stripes. He used three small stripes to show the stripes of the scourging Jesus received. The large red stripe was for the blood shed by Christ on the cross so that we could have the promise of eternal life.

Brilliant.


' "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." '
[John 10:11]

Ch. 586 - Grrrrrr.

'A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.'
[Proverb 15:1]

Ch. 585 - On His Time

Anoint us, Lord God.


'Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.'
[Psalm 37:5-6]

Ch. 584 - "Us" VS "Them"

I don't know all the glorious details behind every case... but a lot of students have been kicked out of school this semester. A constant breeze of whispers can be heard in the hallways, classrooms, cafeteria, dorms... there's also my personal favorite, Facebook statuses. And much debate (more like arguing, with some people) as to whether the right decisions were made can be found throughout the school. I really have nothing to say about it all, except for this:

STOP!

People are constantly trying to find out information and base their judgments on personal biases against all those involved... gossip is abounding, and seemingly every day a new rumor pops up. Making your personal opinion made known loud and clear will not change anything. It will not bring people back. It will not establish consistency in the administration's decision-making process.

... See what I mean? I've been influenced by it all, try as hard as I might to not let that happen. Fail.

Instead of gossiping about all this CRAP that's been going on, why don't we strengthen our relationships, encouraging one another? Confess, don't condemn - because we all have problems. We always say that we try to let it be known to nonbelievers that Christians aren't perfect. But I think we need to remind fellow believers of exactly that. Just because we believe we have to set high standards for ourselves so we can be a good example to "the world" doesn't mean that we will not mess up. Maybe if we started being real and stopped worrying about people judging us, we could get help with those problems and start the process of letting God clean our hearts.


'... Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.'
[Ephesians 4:14-16]

Ch. 583 - A Quick Obedience

"Worship Me."

No need to say it twice.


'Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.'
[Psalm 95:6]

Ch. 582 - Know and Become

'I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.'
[Philippians 3:10]

Ch. 581 - Alive and Active

We stood up to sing our praises and prayers to our Lord God and before I knew what was happening, tears were flowing down my cheeks. I didn't even have time to try and hold them back, like I usually do. But without a second thought I started singing a prayer to God.

Spirit.
[fallen]
Power.
[revealed]
Love.
[surrounded]
Freedom.
[embraced]

No worries.
No judgments.
No chains.
Nothing.

Pure.
The way it should be.

Wholehearted.

Unified.
Healed.
Reconciled.


'Praise the Lord.
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens.
Praise him for his acts of power;
praise him for his surpassing greatness.
Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
praise him with the harp and lyre,
praise him with tambourine and dancing,
praise him with the strings and flute,
praise him with the clash of cymbals,
praise him with resounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord.'
[Psalm 150]

Ch. 580 - Letdown.

Legalistic.
Not a fan.

Still expecting something great.
But I've finally realized that I'm just not going to get it here.

Not yet.


'I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
[Psalm 27:13-14]

Ch. 579 - ExcitedAnxiousNervous

Will today be the day?
God can do anything.


'Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.'
[Psalm 100:4-5]

Ch. 578 - Preparing Hearts

Revival.
Encounter God.


'They raise their voices, they shout for joy; from the west they acclaim the Lord's majesty. Therefore in the east give glory to the Lord; exalt the name of the Lord, the God of Israel, in the islands of the sea.'
[Isaiah 24:14-15]

Ch. 577 - Beauty of Creation

I've come to realize that the best way to incorporate beauty into my life is by surrounding myself with God's creations - nature and people.

Easy enough to do, right? And I mean, seeing His beauty exuding from people's hearts is a wonderful thing to behold.

This world is an ugly place.
For one thing, it's full of sin.
For another, we're slowly killing the planet.
We're not good stewards of the earth.
So what beauty it still contains I treasure dearly.

And when I see God's beauty within people, it seems to heal the world of its ugly spots. God shines through His people.

I like it.


'God saw all that he had made, and it was very good...'
[Genesis 1:26]

Ch. 576 - Living On the Edge

I want to kill myself.
No, I'm not suicidal.
But I want to brutally take my life and throw it all away.
Because I need to.
And if I don't, I'm going to die one day and that will be that.

It's just that every day I find myself thinking, "Ok. Die to self. Got it."
I even have a reminder to do so on my door at eye level so I see it every time I leave my dorm room to "go out into the world". An extra reminder never hurts, right? So I think about it, I pray about it, annnd I fail. Hour after hour, day after day, week after week. Nothing's ever good enough. And what does dying to self even look like? I mean, I don't think I've ever fully, truly died to myself. Alright, so I believe. I trust. Jesus Christ, Son of God, is my Lord and Savior. But then what? I like to think that I consciously make an effort to give God what I can, but I have a hard time reaching the bar I feel I've set for myself. Is there shame in lowering my expectations? Will I more often be graced with that realization of God's presence because I'll finally be "doing better" as I constantly tell myself? Am I really just not getting it? When will I fully understand the consequences of my decisions and actions?

I'm going to hell.
I joke around about that pretty often.
"Uh-oh, I didn't go to chapel today. I'm going to hell."
"Oops, I flipped Tito off in jest. He laughed, I laughed - but I'm probably going to hell."
I'm not joking around anymore.
I. am. going. to. hell...
... if something doesn't change.
And soon, at that.

'Oh, but Natalie... it just takes believing in Jesus. You're okay.'

NO! I'M NOT OKAY!
And if you honestly think that all it takes is what I just stated above...
... then you're not okay, either.

"Relationship, not religion."
True.

The thing is, I don't even have that relationship right now.

But it's more than that, even.
At one point I finally realized that and took things to the next level.
Guess what? I'm not about to tell you what it entails.
You have to find out for yourself.
How many of us have been spoon-fed everything we believe in?

Yet even though I had taken things to that next level, it wasn't from the heart. I am forgetful. I put what truly matters aside. Two steps forward, one step back, right? Or one step forward, two steps back. Either way, I move backwards at one point and I don't want that. But I let myself anyway. I've done it before, I'll do it again. I know what happens, I know how I'll feel, I know the consequences. And I hate it. So why do I let myself do it over and over again?

Do I care?
DO I CARE?

"I want to kill myself."
"I'm going to hell."

These seem like pretty rough statements. And they are.
But I've found that it often takes extremes to get me to change.
[I know I've said that before.]
I have to learn things the hard way, you know?


' "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven... Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'" '
[Matthew 7:21,23]