Ch. 589 - Transitions

The end of the semester is fast approaching. Four finals and a paper stand in my way of going home for break.

Anyway.

This was a tough semester for me. It's hard to verbalize why. Classes weren't terrible. But as I've said before, my thoughts on which classes I thought I would like the most quickly changed... I started to dread a couple classes almost right off the bat. That didn't help. The past few weeks have been incredibly stressful. I was never really behind, but I was never really ahead, either. I'm a pretty stress-free person. I can honestly say I'm able to count the number of times I've truly felt stressed on one hand. Well, now two. So yeah, stress is a rarity. But seriously. The duration of this time of stress was almost unbearable. Literally, three weeks of stress... doesn't do a lot of good for a person's mental and physical health, let me tell you. I've been tired. Weak, even. I've been sick [another rarity for me]. I've been irritable and thus rude, grumpy, and just downright mean. So the moments of joy and laughter I received I held onto dearly and those are what helped me [BARELY] make it to this very moment.

That's not right.

Why?

God was nowhere in all of this, that's why.
I didn't let Him in.
I pushed Him aside.
I remember literally thinking, 'I don't have time for God right now.'

What a hypocrite I am.

I'm the one you hear saying, "MAKE time for God!"

These weeks would have been so much easier had I done exactly that.
It would also make the transition into break a lot smoother, I think.

Because I know I'm going to have to work just that much more to make sure I establish a routinely manner of spending time with God and whatnot. Otherwise, it'll never happen. "It takes twenty days to establish a habit." That's two-thirds of my break right there! If only I hadn't wasted the past twenty days without God, I'd be leaps and bounds ahead.

If, if, if.

I can look back and regret my decisions all I want, but doing so won't change anything. I realize that. But still. If only...

CHANGE IS A-COMIN'!


'I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.'
[Psalm 34:4]

I like this verse, because it reminds me that by answering me when I seek the Lord, He is, in fact, delivering me from my very greatest fear.