Ch. 341 - Pushing Forward

I'm worried.

It's official.
I don't want to be here.
I have to be.
I need to be.
And yes, I'm going to stay.
But at this point in time, I simply do not want to be here.
I have, in a little over one month, gone from looking forward to being at school to an unbelievable extent... to looking forward to being at home to an unbelievable extent.

I'm worried.

I just have no joy.
I am surrounded by negativity.
I am surrounded by shallowness.
I am surrounded by worldly conversation.
I am surrounded by selfish desires.
These things and more are weighing me down.
I simply don't know how to begin to deal with it all.

Well.
I do.
But then what?

I'm worried.

It's becoming difficult for me to see God in things that are said and done by others... and it's even more difficult to see Christ in people.
The enemy is definitely clouding my vision and I don't like this.
I feel like my heart is becoming hardened.

Lord God, where do I go from here?


' "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." '
[Matthew 6:33-34]

I'm not going to worry.
I will turn my heart back to Him.
' "... seek first his kingdom and his righteousness..." '