Ch. 351 - Asking to Tame, Revisited

How long will it take, oh Lord?


'With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.'
[James 3:9-10]

Ch. 350 - I AM

' "I am the LORD, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me, so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting men may know there is none besides me. I am the LORD, and there is no other." '
[Isaiah 45:5-6]

19. October 2010 Edit:

My God is... God.

Sovereign.
Mighty.
Big.
Loving.
Wonderful.

He is the only One.
The only true God.

Oh, the beauty of complex simplicity.

Ch. 349 - Apologizing to God

I've realized the reason.


'Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death...'
[Psalm 13:3]

Ch. 348 - One Body

Today my psychology teacher asked someone to pray before class started. Someone near me said he would, and off he went. It was a good prayer. A nice prayer. Maybe a little typical, you know - nothing out of the ordinary. But one thing that my ear perked up at was when he mentioned God working in "our life." Lives? No. Life. Now, I truly do not believe that he meant to say this. It was likely a mere slip. Kind of like when we say something along the lines of, "When's the assignments due?" instead of "When are the assignments due?"

However, I thought said "slip" to be somewhat appropriate.

Here we are, often talking about how 'we' are the body of Christ... one body.

'For even as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body, though they are many, are one body, so also is Christ.'
[1 Corinthians 12:12, NASB]

'... put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.'
[Colossians 3:14-15, NASB]

'For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.'
[Romans 12:4-5, NASB]

If we are one in Christ, if we are to be one body, why wouldn't we have one life?

By truly living life for Christ out of love for God, we would, indeed, live one life.

One goal.
One purpose.

United.

Remember, we live life immersed in love from God.

Let's live our life together.

Ch. 347 - Decisions, Decisions

So I'm currently in the process of making another decision.
I want to basically shoot myself in the head. This is too intense.

I love my dad, but man... he certainly gets me a-thinkin' and at this point in time I do not appreciate the seed he has planted in my mind. Yet I do appreciate it... it's kind of complicated.

Er, not so much complicated as merely ridiculous.

So question...

What is it that I truly want to do in the future?
[I'll go into detail a bit more in the very near future.]
And based on that answer:
Why am I at Central?

Chyeah.
Honestly.
Not a fun time to get into my mind right now.

On a more... level, positive note... I have declared this week as 'good' and things are looking to be on the upswing. I am good.
Happy.
Peaceful.

Brilliant.


'Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.'
[James 5:13]

Ch. 346 - Believe, Friends

'Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" '
[John 11:40]

5. October 2010 Edit:

Do we even have an inkling as to what the glory of God is? Or do we have to wait until we are home with the Father to experience and see His glory? Sometimes I think that we think nothing of it. That it doesn't matter. Mostly because, I believe, we simply cannot imagine what that glory is truly like. I wonder... when we do something "for the glory of God" if that deed, when attributed to Him, simply makes His glory all the more wondrous. Could that even be possible? I mean, if something is done by human hands - albeit through the power of God - would it be returned to Him and added to that already existing glory so that it increases to greater splendor?

I just... don't know.
But I'm okay with not knowing.
Mysteries keeps me curious.
And that's a good thing.
It - among other things - keeps me believing.
For oh, how greatly I do desire to see the glory of God.

Ch. 345 - Gimme

Want, want, want.
Need, need, need.
More, more, more.

Simple words.

But simple words can mean so much more than we intend.

If we mean what we say and say what we mean and expect follow-through with what we are after, our desires and expectations can affect us immensely. Those desires and expectations can quickly multiply and darken and soon things will get out of hand.

Uncontrollable.

Our focus is rarely where it should be.

This fact worsens when we become centered on self.

We should give.
We should want less.
We should focus on others' needs.

I look around my rooms both at school and home and see stuff. I have so much - too much, it seems - and sometimes it is actually overwhelming. Do I really need 'x' number of purses? Or seven, blank journals? Or that lamp that I never use? Or that blanket that has sat on my closet shelf for numerous years? Or this sweater, or that scarf, or these mittens, or those shoes? The answer is no. Plain and simple. Jesus said to drop everything and follow Him. Leave everything. Everyone. If that's one more step towards discipleship, might as well give away what may be of good use or great need to others.


' "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him.'
[Matthew 4:19-20]

Ch. 344 - Fail

'The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." '
[Galatians 5:14]

So...

I pretty much stink at loving my neighbor as myself.

I pretty much rock at loving myself more than my neighbor.
And that's great... if it's the prideful, self-centered jerkface award I'm after.

But I'm not.

Time to turn away.
Repent.
Change.

For real, this time.

Ch. 343 - Entrusted to Encourage

'Since an overseer is entrusted with God's work, he must be blameless - not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.'
[Titus 1:7-9]

20. September 2010 Edit:

I like to imagine that all believers are overseers. Supervisors. Shepherds, really, over the people who are lost. And when they are found, when they come to realize the life that they can live in Jesus Christ, the overseers are there to guide them in their walk with God. I mean, after all... are we not all to be blameless in the sight of the Lord? Shouldn't we all strive to be love what is good, be hospitable, self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined? Just a thought.

Ch. 342 - A Transformation

I am wretched.

Sinful.
Ugly.
Dishonest.
Ugly.
Selfish.
Ugly.

I am weak.

Ignorant.
Naïve.
Untrusting.
Naïve.
Intolerant.
Naïve.

I am wounded.

Rough.
Help.
Ashamed.
Help.
Resistant.
Help.

I am willing.

Understanding.
Die.
Learning.
Die.
Unanimous.
Die.

I am won.

Refined.
Praise.
Thankful.
Praise.
Redeemed.
Praise.

I am worshipful.

Surrendering.
Beautiful.
His.
Beautiful.
Submissive.
Beautiful.


'Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.'
[2 Corinthians 4:16-18]

Ch. 341 - Pushing Forward

I'm worried.

It's official.
I don't want to be here.
I have to be.
I need to be.
And yes, I'm going to stay.
But at this point in time, I simply do not want to be here.
I have, in a little over one month, gone from looking forward to being at school to an unbelievable extent... to looking forward to being at home to an unbelievable extent.

I'm worried.

I just have no joy.
I am surrounded by negativity.
I am surrounded by shallowness.
I am surrounded by worldly conversation.
I am surrounded by selfish desires.
These things and more are weighing me down.
I simply don't know how to begin to deal with it all.

Well.
I do.
But then what?

I'm worried.

It's becoming difficult for me to see God in things that are said and done by others... and it's even more difficult to see Christ in people.
The enemy is definitely clouding my vision and I don't like this.
I feel like my heart is becoming hardened.

Lord God, where do I go from here?


' "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." '
[Matthew 6:33-34]

I'm not going to worry.
I will turn my heart back to Him.
' "... seek first his kingdom and his righteousness..." '

Ch. 340 - Subtly On Edge

Tonight I was encouraged by someone I never thought would be one to encourage me. What's more is I don't think he realized the extent of how encouraging what he was saying could be. I really needed to hear it, even though it was merely half a dozen words that I've heard many times before.

"Perseverance is a part of faith."
Simple.
Classic.
Evident.
Concise.
Music to my ears, to be honest.


'As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.'
[James 5:11]

Ch. 339 - A Battle in War

Satan will not win this battle.
With God on my side, I am fully capable of winning.
I will force the enemy to retreat.
What a sweet victory it shall be.


'Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.'
[James 4:7]

Ch. 338 - Taking a Look

I am not okay.
And I finally realized that today as I was talking to a friend.
I mean, I've felt that something wasn't quite... right... lately. My relationship with God has actually felt strained.
And that's an awful feeling, let me tell you.
But I sort of brought up a few points this evening - and realized the truth behind them for the first time as I was bringing them up.
I don't know.
I'm frustrated.
I'm worried.
I'm tired.
And I'm an awful disciple of Christ.


'We are brought down to the dust; our bodies cling to the ground. Rise up and help us; redeem us because of your unfailing love.'
[Psalm 44:25-26]

Ch. 337 - Becoming Audacious

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

Usually 'desperation' is used in upsetting contexts or describing some horrific event, you know?

"That troubled woman was so desperate to feed her children that she had to rob a bank for money to buy food."

I think that's all that needs to be said.

Anyway.

I want people to be desperate.

Is that strange?

Here's the deal.
We are comfortable with our lives. With ourselves. With those we know. Our family. Our friends. Our co-workers. Our peers. We have schedules. Routines. What's more, we're comfortable with our faiths and with our God. We rest assured, knowing that by believing Jesus Christ died for us, we are saved by grace.

And then...

... we go to church.
We politely listen to the pastor's sermons, laugh gently when the kids say something cute during children's time, and clap approvingly when the choir sings a rousing song now and then.

... we read our Bibles.
We sit down regularly, at a set time... or rarely at all... and read God's Word like good, little Christians should. Sometimes we read to get something out of it, sometimes we don't.

... we pray to God.
We ask Jesus to look over those in our congregation who weren't in church last Sunday because they broke a hip, or for Susie's mother's cousin's next-door neighbor, whose cat went missing and is thus in quite a tizzy.

Going to church isn't a bad thing.
Neither is reading God's word.
Neither is praying.
In fact, I advocate doing each of these things.

But so what?

We are so comfortable with everything that we start to turn inward.
It comes to be about us.

"That's my pew. Get out."
"What can God's Word do for me today?"
"Jesus, help me do this. God, help me get that. Jesus, do this for me."

First of all, we need to be less comfortable.
We should be seeking God wholeheartedly, every day.
Strive to want more and more of Him constantly.
Don't settle for what you already know.
We will always be able to learn more about Him throughout our lives.
Push yourself.

Become desperate for God.

Live as if you just realized you can't breathe without wanting Him more.

Second of all, we need to step outside of our safe zone and focus outward.
Invite someone to church and - gasp - let them sit in your pew.
Share God's Word with someone who may not know the Gospel. For all you know, you could be the vessel that God uses to save their life.
Pray for others. All the time. Make it a point to pray for other people before yourself. There is power in prayer, especially in intercessory prayer.

Become bold in your faith.


' "If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remained in His love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." '
[John 15:10-12]

Ch. 336 - Watched and Loved

' "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." '
[Luke 12:6-7]

19. September 2010 Edit:

We are of great value to our Lord God.
"Oh... how He loves us so..."

Need I truly say more?

Ch. 335 - Time to Go Swimming

Swim parallel to the shore.
Then the undertow won't take you out to sea.
Sound advice.


'The Lord will keep you from all harm - he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.'
[Psalm 121:7-8]

Ch. 334 - Drowning

Oh Lord, my God,
save me.
Free me.
Fill my emptiness
and fill my lungs
with Your breath.
Yahweh.
Life.
Joy.
Savior.
Sustain me.
Lift me.
Change me.
Let it be so.

Ch. 333 - Strong Opinions

'A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.'
[Proverb 18:2]

......

I don't even know what to say.
I was talking to a kid here at school today and they voiced some pretty strong opinions that really got me thinking. They sort of seem like they talk just to talk... and they will hear what you have to say, but they don't truly listen. Bummer.

Ch. 332 - A Final Exam

These are notes from the second service I attended yesterday, at which our newly appointed bishop, Bishop Trimble, spoke.

We all matter to God and we should also matter to the Church.
However... there will either be eternal life or eternal punishment for our decisions, responses, and actions that we have made throughout our lives.

"Well done, good and faithful servant."
Keep that in mind.
Always.

Where is your vision for victory?
Where is your passion for service?

Faithfully focus on rebuilding, renewing, rejoicing.
Invest in new ministries.
Tell the stories of Jesus.

Rise to your highest potential.
Set high expectations.
After all, God does so [out of love].

Reach new people with new context.
Sometimes it takes thinking out of the box and trying different concepts to get your point across and save the lost.

Give hope [and love] with your
prayers,
presence,
gifts,
service,
and witness.

The power behind us is greater than the task before us.


' "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left." '
[Matthew 25:31-33]

Be a sheep.

Ch. 331 - A Place of Prayer

The sermon this morning at my church in Cedar Rapids was about prayer. So, so great. Here are some of my notes from the sermon:

Prayer can be a lot of things.
A moment.
A thought.
Meditation.
Reflection.
Prayer is active.

A congregation of unity can [and should] be found in pray for and with one another. In the midst of everything that happens around us, prayer needs to be imperative from day-to-day. Even at our church, which is situated in a pretty poor neighborhood... people don't usually come looking for a handout. They come looking for a hand to be held in prayer.

We need support in prayer -
but prayer needs our support.

Every breath we take is a prayer.

Pray out of awareness.
Pray out of generosity.
... We need to be more generous with our prayers.

Everything we give and offer up to God is a prayer.

We can be in constant communion with God.
Extend your hands so that Christ will take hold.
He will lift you up.


'And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.'
[Ephesians 6:18]

Ch. 330 - Mission Field

I can't wait to be done with school.
I mean, I still love school and I am definitely excited to continue to take classes at Central.
But I want to get out and share the Word.

Man oh man.
I can hardly contain myself.


'And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.'
[Colossians 4:3-5]

Ch. 329 - Why I'm There

This evening my mom and I were talking about God's reasons for placing us where He does. I mean, we all have a purpose, a purpose set aside for us by God. He has all these great plans for us, right? Right. But sometimes it's difficult to see what those plans entail as time both slowly and quickly passes. Yet we are where we are for a reason, most often. We meet certain people for a reason... we become involved with certain things for a reason... I don't think we live life on chances and coincidences. Sure, 'coincidences' are fun to think about and such, but honestly - things do happen for a reason. God knows exactly what He's doing with our lives, one by one.

I was speaking to my mom about a couple things that have happened over the year and such, and the fact that I'm at Central Christian College of the Bible for a reason came up. I have recently come to a couple realizations about certain people and events that have taken place at CCCB... and believe that God has helped show me why I'm there, partly. Not only am I there to receive the training to be an effective 'Kingdom Leader' (......), but I think I have been given a mission - get this - within and for the Missions program at CCCB.

This is kind of a vague post, and I apologize for any misunderstandings. I'm just trying to get these thoughts out of my head before I turn in for the evening and this is the best I can do for now. I don't really feel like going too in-depth for the time being. But I'm excited to see how God will use me to better Central while I'm there. What a journey I am traveling. There are twists and turns every few steps I take, it seems.

I'm glad.


'... so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ.'
[Romans 15:6]

Ch. 328 - God's Power for Salvation

Proclaim.

'I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes... For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last... '
[Romans 1:16-17]

Ch. 327 - One Body

'For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.'
[Romans 12:3-5]

18. September 2010 Edit:

The bride of Christ is the Church. The body. Individuals make up the body. We are all equal in the sight of God, whether we like to think so or not... We are truly a family, brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus. Just as individual members of a family have different functions, so do the members of the body in Christ. Each is unique, each is important. We cannot function properly without one another and it saddens me to know that there is so much discord within the body in regards to others and their purposes, lack of involvement, etc....

Ch. 326 - Pointing 'Me' Out

I realized last night that I definitely point out my faults that I see in others. There had never been a doubt in my mind that I could or would do so, but it become readily apparent that it is a practice of mine. It is, however, a practice that I would like to eliminate from my day-to-day life. God made everybody beautiful. He made us without flaw in His eyes. Not to say that we don't sin... but our Creator made all things perfect. Sure, we all have our flaws. Our failures. Our... unattractive qualities or characteristics. Yet I should not be one to point these things out within others. Constructive criticism is one thing. Hypocritical analyzation is another.


'For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.'
[Ephesians 1:4-6]

Ch. 325 - Negativity

The enemy has really been hitting me with a few things lately. However, the issue that seems most prevalent in my mind is negativity. This issue is two-fold; I feel that I am being a bit negative, while other people's negativity is pounding me into the ground.

I think I'm really focusing on what's wrong around me, rather than what's right. I don't know if that's a good thing... I mean, I would love to try and fix what's wrong, but it needs to be God's doing. I am a mere vessel.

But you know, it can be pretty difficult to focus on the positive things in life when I am surrounded by bad energy in a negative atmosphere... when people are tearing others down, as opposed to building them up.

People are more concerned about furthering friendships and working on their "could-be relationship"s than they are concerned about furthering their relationship with God.

People are more concerned about the Kansas and Mizzou teams' wins for basketball than they are concerned about the winning of souls for God's Kingdom.

And people are more concerned about what their peers and total strangers think of them than they are concerned about what their Father thinks of them. Although I guess that's pretty easy to do when we are constantly told, "No matter what, God loves you and He loves you more than anyone ever will."

I don't know what to say or do about anything. I'm not saying I don't do any of what I mentioned. But it's tough when you are being bombarded with things that make you want to shut out the rest of the world. I mean, doing so would get you nowhere. The only thing I can think of doing is giving it all to God and talking things over with Him. Reading psalm after psalm after psalm doesn't hurt anything, either...


'Lord, who may dwell in your
sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from this heart
and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the lord,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,
who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against
the innocent.

He who does these things will never be shaken.'
[Psalm 15]

Ch. 324 - A Freak-Out

Today I couldn't find one of my Bibles.
I was freaking out.
Like, seriously... freaking... out.
It was bad. It was really bad.
I couldn't find it.

And for the life of me, I felt as if I couldn't even begin to think about where it could be.
So I looked everywhere.

I looked in my room.
Desk.
Dresser.
Drawer stack.
I looked in my car.
Dashboard compartment.
Under seats.
Trunk.
I looked in Pelfrey.
Gym.
Cafeteria.
Lobby.

What was I to do?
I love that Bible.
Man.

I decided not to worry about it.
I would find it tomorrow or Monday.

I decided to watch a movie in bed.
So I climbed up and got cozy and comfy under my covers.
Started the movie.
Stretched.
Let my hands drop.
My left hand hit something firm.
Not sheets.
Not a comforter.
Not a pillow.
I looked down and over, and there it was.
My Bible!

I had been reading it last night and put it down on Leez' bed right before I fell asleep.

Oh, Natalie.

......

I don't even know what verse to use for today.
Ha.

Mmm, random.


'When God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work - this is a gift of God.'
[Ecclesiastes 5:19]