I'll let you in on a secret:
When I am looking for something specific, I often look right over it.
Under it.
Next to it.
Behind it.
It's right there in front of me, but I don't see it.
Maybe it's because I'm too focused on something else.
Maybe I'm in too big a hurry.
Maybe I get too distracted by other things.
And I'll get frustrated.
In typical Natalie-fashion, I'll go to my mom (who is the boss and in charge of the Keene household). She, in turn, will go straight to what I've been looking for, point it out, and give me the look that I have all too well come to associate with this type of situation.
I knew it was there the entire time - I could sense it - but my eyes were not open. And then, as soon as someone points it out to me, they are opened and I see clearly.
Something similar happened to me this morning.
Before I continue, I must tell you how much I love the school I'm attending, Central Christian College of the Bible. I really do love it. I love the people here, I love the campus itself, I love my teachers, my classes. There's simply something very special about it. It is a beautiful light in a dark community and I am honored to be part of it. I definitely feel that I belong at Central and that God placed me here for a reason. I'm still figuring out what that reason is, but [thankfully] I finally have the patience to not mind taking things one day at a time. Now, also understand that I'm not saying Central and the people involved with the school are without fault. There are weaknesses, breaks in the chain. There are people here whose hearts are not right with God, for example. But I don't want to focus on the 'bad' aspects, because I believe there is more positive than there is negative in this place.
But this morning, my eyes were opened to something that is of a negative nature. Something dark. Something that hurts. Something that destroys. It's not like I've never experienced it before. I've dealt with it. Faced it. Been kicked down by it.
This 'it' is the enemy.
You may think, 'Uh, Natalie, you're at a Bible college...
How could Satan affect anything?
You're all surrounded by fellow believers.
Satan can't touch you.'
Here's the deal. This morning in my SALT class, my small group leader mentioned that she had received a text from our teacher about a veil of darkness that was over our school, and that we are truly under spiritual warfare with the enemy - and that we should pray about it. As soon as my leader read the text, my heart skipped a couple of beats. That was it. For the last month or so, I've felt something was... off. Not with myself entirely - but in general... something was not right. I've felt uneasy. Uncomfortable. So as soon as it was said, I realized just how true it is.
As aforementioned, I said our school is a light in the community it's situated in. I like to think we do a lot of good for a lot of people. We're working hard. We're sharing the love, spreading the Word. And through it all - studies, devotionals, personal time with God, etc. included - we are drawing closer to God. But the closer we draw near to Him, the more frustrated Satan becomes... and the more he tries to pull us down. Unfortunately, it's working. I say this from personal experience these past few weeks, as well as from learning of others' misfortunes and stories of the attacks they've felt on their spirits and hearts lately.
One thing the school's really been working on is prayer - and this is a great, great thing. Prayer is one of our greatest weapons against the enemy. We can't let our guard down, though. It needs to be constant. And we need to constantly be worshiping God with our lives - not just during chapel or on Sunday mornings. I think Christianity is a lifestyle. It's a tough lifestyle, though. You have to work at it. You have to learn to persevere. You can't become accustomed to giving up easily. You have to be in the here and now. You can't worry about tomorrow or the next day. Fortunately, God is always with us. We can lean on Him. We can trust Him. We can depend on Him. We can talk to Him. He does give us strength. He does give us love. He does give us answers. But we should give everything to Him. He wants our joys. He wants our struggles. He wants us, just as we are. He wants a relationship.
I think that's something we forget often. And I think that's a weakness that Satan is using against us. We focus so much on school or work or completing service hours [or finding a spouse...], and not enough on our relationship with God. I also think that we are not a united body in Christ. There are always going to be cliques. There is always going to be gossip. There are always going to be childish, immature games being played. But we're not working at repelling any of this. And it's affecting our relationships with one another. And if we're to be worshiping God with our entire lives, it affects our relationship with Him, as well. So it's important that we fight these things, because all it is is Satan wanting to come between ourselves and God.
I know this is becoming quite the novel, and that it's sort of all over the place. I don't really know where I'm going. But it's all been on my heart lately, so I thought I would just get it out there. It's just sad that the closer we get to God, the more Satan tries to pull us away from Him. Fortunately, it only makes us stronger in the end. And I suppose it's a good sign when we are attacked, because it can only mean that we are doing something right.
'Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.'
[Psalm 105:4]
No comments:
Post a Comment