[Ahem... this was actually written on 23. April 2011. I will get caught up with my every-five-days posting... and then after that, I plan on trying to write every day again. Or perhaps only every other day... we shall see.]
I love my family.
A lot.
A lot, a lot, a lot.
I am so thankful to my Lord God that I have good relationships with my immediate family, especially my parents. I would not trade them for anything in this world. I think what I am most grateful for in them is their showing of love through the support they offer me. Their confidence in me is comforting, and I can rest assured in the fact that they believe in me and the journey I am on.
What a blessing my family is.
I really don't feel like I need to say anything else.
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
March 25, 2011
March 5, 2011
Ch. 781 - The List: Lovingkindness
Lovingkindness.
Say it aloud.
Don't you just love the way it sounds?
The way it feels?
I do.
But more than the way it sounds and feels, I love what the word implies.
I feel that to show or feel lovingkindness towards another means to show affection, and perhaps even to care for, out of a desire to do good for someone other than yourself. I think that it is characterized by a sweetness or a tenderness, loyalty and devotion; and surely mercy plays a part in the lovingkindness of one to another. In doing a word study for my Hebrew class a few semesters ago, I focused on the word chesed, translated as 'mercy'. However, through my research for said study, I quickly discovered that chesed has been translated into several words, 'lovingkindness' included.
Anyway, I know that the greatest example of lovingkindness we have is our Lord God. First and foremost in that He has loved us since... before we can even imagine... and that in so loving us, He sent His Son to die for our sins, so that we can be in communion with Him. We can have a relationship with Him, and be near to Him always - and even spend all of eternity in His presence.
Wow.
I was thinking about that a lot during the time I spent driving from Missouri to Alabama last weekend. And I think I will when I return to Missouri on Sunday. I mean, it's pretty heavy stuff! Here we are in the Lenten season, approaching Easter. Are we preparing ourselves? Are we truly reflecting on the life and ministry of Jesus? How often do we meditate on His word, on the beautiful Good News that is Christ Jesus, Son of God and Messiah? It pains me to see that year after year, people turn remembering both the birth and death of Jesus into holidays of sparkle and show, gluttony and greed, and emptiness and earthly things. The symbolism behind traditions that Christians and non-Christians alike partake in have been, over the years, covered up and even lost entirely. How very sad.
And yet regardless, our Lord God loves us the same. He extends His lovingkindness towards us... minute by minute, day after day. Always merciful, always loving, always kind, always loyal, always devoted. If only we were to follow His example, which can be found in His Son, Jesus. If only we were to extend these things to one another - to the lost, and the broken, and the hopeless.
... If only, if only.
Pray.
Pray that others would feel the great desire and need to show lovingkindness to those around them. And that they would share the hope and joy and love that they have in Jesus Christ with others.
Say it aloud.
Don't you just love the way it sounds?
The way it feels?
I do.
But more than the way it sounds and feels, I love what the word implies.
I feel that to show or feel lovingkindness towards another means to show affection, and perhaps even to care for, out of a desire to do good for someone other than yourself. I think that it is characterized by a sweetness or a tenderness, loyalty and devotion; and surely mercy plays a part in the lovingkindness of one to another. In doing a word study for my Hebrew class a few semesters ago, I focused on the word chesed, translated as 'mercy'. However, through my research for said study, I quickly discovered that chesed has been translated into several words, 'lovingkindness' included.
Anyway, I know that the greatest example of lovingkindness we have is our Lord God. First and foremost in that He has loved us since... before we can even imagine... and that in so loving us, He sent His Son to die for our sins, so that we can be in communion with Him. We can have a relationship with Him, and be near to Him always - and even spend all of eternity in His presence.
Wow.
I was thinking about that a lot during the time I spent driving from Missouri to Alabama last weekend. And I think I will when I return to Missouri on Sunday. I mean, it's pretty heavy stuff! Here we are in the Lenten season, approaching Easter. Are we preparing ourselves? Are we truly reflecting on the life and ministry of Jesus? How often do we meditate on His word, on the beautiful Good News that is Christ Jesus, Son of God and Messiah? It pains me to see that year after year, people turn remembering both the birth and death of Jesus into holidays of sparkle and show, gluttony and greed, and emptiness and earthly things. The symbolism behind traditions that Christians and non-Christians alike partake in have been, over the years, covered up and even lost entirely. How very sad.
And yet regardless, our Lord God loves us the same. He extends His lovingkindness towards us... minute by minute, day after day. Always merciful, always loving, always kind, always loyal, always devoted. If only we were to follow His example, which can be found in His Son, Jesus. If only we were to extend these things to one another - to the lost, and the broken, and the hopeless.
... If only, if only.
Pray.
Pray that others would feel the great desire and need to show lovingkindness to those around them. And that they would share the hope and joy and love that they have in Jesus Christ with others.
February 10, 2011
Ch. 776: The List - Real...ness
[Written on February 27. One of these days I'll be caught up and start writing "on time" for my List series (every five days). Meh, we'll see.]
YES!
Finally!
"Realness."
Not really a word... but it worked with the group of words I put it in.
Being real.
One of my favorite topics in the entire world.
Man oh man, where to begin?
......
Call it a gift.
Call it a skill.
Call it intuition.
Call it fake.
Call it stupid.
Call it whatever you want...
But I believe that I am more easily able to tell when people are being real. More so than the average Joe, I suppose. Or maybe more like I can tell when people are not being real - even when others believe that they are being real. Why? I don't know. How? Again, I don't know. Just... 'cause. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I have not turned into a 20-something, socially-operated robot. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I am one of those kids who are tired of "religion" and "church". Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I want to see people come to know the Truth, filling themselves with Christ, and Christ alone. Or perhaps it has to do with the fact that I have dealt with too much confusion and misguidance and even false teaching, all coming from people whom I sincerely felt were not real.
And you know, those types of things are becoming a real problem these days.
It seems that we don't take the time to think for ourselves anymore.
We want to be spoon-fed information, and told what to do.
... That makes me feel sick to my stomach.
We are so greatly influenced by "the world" and people around us.
Media.
Culture.
History.
Teachings.
Traditions.
Family and friends.
People we don't even know, yet strive to be like.
... Because they seem to have it all together.
Who are YOU?
Do you even know?
And if you do, does it truly matter?
Think about that one for a minute.
Seriously.
Think about it.
What makes you... you?
Is it the family you come from?
The school you attend?
The activities in which you participate?
Is it the people you hang out with?
Your talents and abilities?
Your personality and demeanor?
In what - or whom - do you find your identity?
I pray that you are able to answer, "Jesus Christ!" - but not just because you know it's the "right" answer, but rather because it is the wholeheartedly honest truth.
But how do you share that identity?
Do you share it using your God-given heart and soul and spirit?
Do you share it at all?
Are others able to see Christ in you?
Can they see you being... you... shining with the light of Christ?
......
How can you expect to learn and teach and grow... if you keep your thoughts and dreams and inspirations and revelations to yourself? I mean, I understand the need that we have for some feeling of privacy. Believe it or not, I am more of a private person than some may believe - yes, me, the writer of internet-posted thoughts for not one, but two blogs. Anyway... And that privacy is important. But when we attempt to cover up the pools of depth that are within us out of fear, or worry, or anything and everything else, I think that in the long run of things we end up hurting ourselves. You've heard it before: something about you taking risks in order to gain reward... Well. I believe that is true. Maybe not regarding everything in life. But with a vast array of things, I think it is true - and that includes being real.
It's not that you simply don't care what others think about you.
It's not that you simply wear your heart on your sleeve at all times.
Being real means that you care so much for others that you will put yourself out there - all of you - in order to relate to and help them. ... Your fears, your dreams, your worries and concerns, your joys and hopes, your pain and suffering... everything. But most importantly, you clothe yourself with Christ at all times and share HIM, above all else. He can readily be seen as the center of "your" world. Being real means you don't sugarcoat or water down the Gospel, or what it means to be a disciple. You meet people where they are, taking a genuine interest in them. You let them know that they are not alone in their trials and tribulations; but you also let it be known that you can't change their life for them - only Christ can do that. Be vulnerable... transparent... with others. Stop hiding. And tell it like it is. Always. This doesn't give you an excuse to be abrasive, of course... but it does give you an excuse to be bold in our Lord God and ask for discernment in the Holy Spirit, following His prompting and allowing Him to speak through you.
......
There is more.
There is a lot more.
But I am unsure about how to continue.
I know this post was choppy. It was difficult to create transitions with my thoughts. My mind feels like it's working overtime, and it is becoming all the more difficult to think clearly. And, as aforementioned, there is so much I want to say! However, I think that I will simply let this post be. It is not meant to be a tutorial. Being real is something that you ultimately have to figure out on your own. Read the word of God. Talk to Him, listen to Him. Pray for help. Set others before yourself. Be yourself. Be true. Be real.
YES!
Finally!
"Realness."
Not really a word... but it worked with the group of words I put it in.
Being real.
One of my favorite topics in the entire world.
Man oh man, where to begin?
......
Call it a gift.
Call it a skill.
Call it intuition.
Call it fake.
Call it stupid.
Call it whatever you want...
But I believe that I am more easily able to tell when people are being real. More so than the average Joe, I suppose. Or maybe more like I can tell when people are not being real - even when others believe that they are being real. Why? I don't know. How? Again, I don't know. Just... 'cause. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I have not turned into a 20-something, socially-operated robot. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I am one of those kids who are tired of "religion" and "church". Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I want to see people come to know the Truth, filling themselves with Christ, and Christ alone. Or perhaps it has to do with the fact that I have dealt with too much confusion and misguidance and even false teaching, all coming from people whom I sincerely felt were not real.
And you know, those types of things are becoming a real problem these days.
It seems that we don't take the time to think for ourselves anymore.
We want to be spoon-fed information, and told what to do.
... That makes me feel sick to my stomach.
We are so greatly influenced by "the world" and people around us.
Media.
Culture.
History.
Teachings.
Traditions.
Family and friends.
People we don't even know, yet strive to be like.
... Because they seem to have it all together.
Who are YOU?
Do you even know?
And if you do, does it truly matter?
Think about that one for a minute.
Seriously.
Think about it.
What makes you... you?
Is it the family you come from?
The school you attend?
The activities in which you participate?
Is it the people you hang out with?
Your talents and abilities?
Your personality and demeanor?
In what - or whom - do you find your identity?
I pray that you are able to answer, "Jesus Christ!" - but not just because you know it's the "right" answer, but rather because it is the wholeheartedly honest truth.
But how do you share that identity?
Do you share it using your God-given heart and soul and spirit?
Do you share it at all?
Are others able to see Christ in you?
Can they see you being... you... shining with the light of Christ?
......
How can you expect to learn and teach and grow... if you keep your thoughts and dreams and inspirations and revelations to yourself? I mean, I understand the need that we have for some feeling of privacy. Believe it or not, I am more of a private person than some may believe - yes, me, the writer of internet-posted thoughts for not one, but two blogs. Anyway... And that privacy is important. But when we attempt to cover up the pools of depth that are within us out of fear, or worry, or anything and everything else, I think that in the long run of things we end up hurting ourselves. You've heard it before: something about you taking risks in order to gain reward... Well. I believe that is true. Maybe not regarding everything in life. But with a vast array of things, I think it is true - and that includes being real.
It's not that you simply don't care what others think about you.
It's not that you simply wear your heart on your sleeve at all times.
Being real means that you care so much for others that you will put yourself out there - all of you - in order to relate to and help them. ... Your fears, your dreams, your worries and concerns, your joys and hopes, your pain and suffering... everything. But most importantly, you clothe yourself with Christ at all times and share HIM, above all else. He can readily be seen as the center of "your" world. Being real means you don't sugarcoat or water down the Gospel, or what it means to be a disciple. You meet people where they are, taking a genuine interest in them. You let them know that they are not alone in their trials and tribulations; but you also let it be known that you can't change their life for them - only Christ can do that. Be vulnerable... transparent... with others. Stop hiding. And tell it like it is. Always. This doesn't give you an excuse to be abrasive, of course... but it does give you an excuse to be bold in our Lord God and ask for discernment in the Holy Spirit, following His prompting and allowing Him to speak through you.
......
There is more.
There is a lot more.
But I am unsure about how to continue.
I know this post was choppy. It was difficult to create transitions with my thoughts. My mind feels like it's working overtime, and it is becoming all the more difficult to think clearly. And, as aforementioned, there is so much I want to say! However, I think that I will simply let this post be. It is not meant to be a tutorial. Being real is something that you ultimately have to figure out on your own. Read the word of God. Talk to Him, listen to Him. Pray for help. Set others before yourself. Be yourself. Be true. Be real.
October 24, 2010
Ch. 757 - Fields and Vineyards
'I went past the field of the sluggard,
past the vineyard of the man who
lacks judgment;
thorns had come up everywhere,
the ground was covered with weeds,
and the stone wall was in ruins.
I applied my heart to what I observed
and learned a lesson from what I
saw:
A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest -
and poverty will come on you like a
bandit
and scarcity like an armed man.'
[Proverb 24:30-34]
I think the sight and lesson described in these verses can be applied to our very being and hearts, at times. If we don't keep up in our relationships with God, and don't come to Him for nourishment, we will become thorny, dry, and remain unpruned. This is not good for us. We need the living water, the bread of life... and we need the true, strong protection of our God to surround our hearts and spirits. Neglect is an awful thing. It says we care not about ourselves - but God created us as His dear children and abusing ourselves in such a way is disrespectful to our Creator. Turn to Him to be nourished and grown in ways that we cannot make happen ourselves.
past the vineyard of the man who
lacks judgment;
thorns had come up everywhere,
the ground was covered with weeds,
and the stone wall was in ruins.
I applied my heart to what I observed
and learned a lesson from what I
saw:
A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest -
and poverty will come on you like a
bandit
and scarcity like an armed man.'
[Proverb 24:30-34]
I think the sight and lesson described in these verses can be applied to our very being and hearts, at times. If we don't keep up in our relationships with God, and don't come to Him for nourishment, we will become thorny, dry, and remain unpruned. This is not good for us. We need the living water, the bread of life... and we need the true, strong protection of our God to surround our hearts and spirits. Neglect is an awful thing. It says we care not about ourselves - but God created us as His dear children and abusing ourselves in such a way is disrespectful to our Creator. Turn to Him to be nourished and grown in ways that we cannot make happen ourselves.
October 22, 2010
Ch. 755 - Wisdom Stems from Suffering
... Job 22:21-28.
Submit.
Be at peace.
Accept instruction.
Lay up His words.
Return.
Remove wickedness.
Surely then...
You will find delight in Him; you will lift up your face.
You will pray to Him; He will hear you.
What you decide will be done; light will shine on your ways.
I really think that these verses can be applied to man today. These words of advice from Eliphaz, a friend of Job, can be taken by anyone who truly desires to draw near to God, know Him, and be in His will. When our lives revolve around Him, we will prosper. God will bless us. He will give us the desires of our hearts, so long as they are truly in alignment with His plans for us. And you know, even though these verses contain things we should be doing, they really boil down to simply spending time with God, or being in His word... so actually, it all returns to the concept of being with Him. Which... I mean... isn't that what He wants us to "do" anyway?
Submit.
Be at peace.
Accept instruction.
Lay up His words.
Return.
Remove wickedness.
Surely then...
You will find delight in Him; you will lift up your face.
You will pray to Him; He will hear you.
What you decide will be done; light will shine on your ways.
I really think that these verses can be applied to man today. These words of advice from Eliphaz, a friend of Job, can be taken by anyone who truly desires to draw near to God, know Him, and be in His will. When our lives revolve around Him, we will prosper. God will bless us. He will give us the desires of our hearts, so long as they are truly in alignment with His plans for us. And you know, even though these verses contain things we should be doing, they really boil down to simply spending time with God, or being in His word... so actually, it all returns to the concept of being with Him. Which... I mean... isn't that what He wants us to "do" anyway?
March 15, 2010
Ch. 675 - Humiliation.
Presuppositions.
It's amazing how simple "vibes", assumptions, and antecedent thoughts can affect a person in regards to what they say and do. Sometimes those presuppositions are made justly, but usually they are not.
Caves.
Why would you go into a cave in the first place?
"Exploration!"
I'll give you that.
But perhaps it's that you want to get away for a bit.
Meditation.
Reflection.
Or maybe you're trying to hide.
Distancing yourself from an "enemy" or simply people...
But they just wait outside.
Either way, you're alone.
Besides, you know what? When thinking of caves in a simplistic manner, you can only leave the way you enter. So eventually, you have to face the reason you entered the cave in the first place.
"Back to reality."
How often do we let ourselves fall into that trap?
Separation.
We burn bridges.
We close doors.
We put up walls.
And we dig ourselves into deep holes.
Why do we place barriers between ourselves and people?
People.
The saved.
The lost.
Strangers.
Acquaintances.
Friends.
Family.
We were made to be relational.
Fellowship.
Community.
Love.
What am I so afraid of?
'A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.'
[Proverb 17:17]
It's amazing how simple "vibes", assumptions, and antecedent thoughts can affect a person in regards to what they say and do. Sometimes those presuppositions are made justly, but usually they are not.
Caves.
Why would you go into a cave in the first place?
"Exploration!"
I'll give you that.
But perhaps it's that you want to get away for a bit.
Meditation.
Reflection.
Or maybe you're trying to hide.
Distancing yourself from an "enemy" or simply people...
But they just wait outside.
Either way, you're alone.
Besides, you know what? When thinking of caves in a simplistic manner, you can only leave the way you enter. So eventually, you have to face the reason you entered the cave in the first place.
"Back to reality."
How often do we let ourselves fall into that trap?
Separation.
We burn bridges.
We close doors.
We put up walls.
And we dig ourselves into deep holes.
Why do we place barriers between ourselves and people?
People.
The saved.
The lost.
Strangers.
Acquaintances.
Friends.
Family.
We were made to be relational.
Fellowship.
Community.
Love.
What am I so afraid of?
'A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.'
[Proverb 17:17]
February 14, 2010
Ch. 651 - Listen and Love
I feel content. And joyful. Beautiful. I woke up this afternoon [I was really tired, okay?!] full of praise for God. He is just so faithful. He is constantly listening and I love that. If you know me somewhat well, you'll know that I really enjoy listening to people. But sometimes I wonder if I just settled into that, because that's simply how it's always been. I don't feel like people are always willing to listen to me. We live in an age of constant noise, for one thing. People are always going on and on and on, sometimes without taking a breath and I worry that I'm actually going to have to use my CPR training one day just because people won't stop talking! Another thing: I'm not very assertive, and I don't like to talk just to talk. I like to contribute something if I feel that it will be beneficial for those I'm around at that time. There's also the fear of man that's always inhibited me from speaking up, but those chains are being loosened and soon I'll be completely free. Of course, none of this usually goes for people I feel very comfortable around. And there are always exceptions. Just saying... Well. To sum it up - I don't talk a lot and I assume that people don't want to listen. Because I am ridiculous.
So. God. Listening. It's wonderful. When I come to the realization again and again that He doesn't merely hear me, but listens to me, I am floored. This personal belief is backed up by all the answers to prayers God has given me, especially during the past month. I can't go into too great of detail in regards to this, just because I like that my hands function. And I feel that if I were to type everything out right now, my fingers and wrists would probably hurt or simply not work tomorrow. Thus, you will simply have to trust me in saying that God is faithful and listens to every word we speak. Every thought in our mind. Every cry of our soul. He could choose not to. But He is a loving, compassionate, and gracious God. And I shouldn't have to remind you that all glory goes to Him when our prayers are answered.
I would like to challenge you; remind yourself that there are more people than you may think that are willing to listen. So if you usually do the listening, take a step out and seek others who will listen to you. And if you usually do the talking, close your mouth and open your ears. Show love to one another in doing these things. By asking someone to listen, you are saying that you trust them. By listening to someone, you are saying that you care about them enough to do so. We hear it so often: "God loves you." It is truth. God loves all of His created children. And even though not every child will receive eternal life, wouldn't you say they are still worthy of it because they are loved by God? Look around you each day as you go about living your life and remember that the people you see are all beloved children of God. They all are worthy of being reached out to. It is not a single group of people that "deserve" or "need" to be reached. There are people who have questions and are seeking, but don't know who will listen to them. And there are people who could answer a lot of those questions, but they don't stop to actually listen to the questions. The greatness of God could be revealed more and more if we took the time to listen and let ourselves be used by God, letting Him speak through us to His people He loves.
'On the next Sabbath almost the whole city gathered to hear the word of the Lord. When the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy and talked abusively against what Paul was saying. Then Paul and Barnabas answered them boldly: "We had to speak the word of God to you first. Since you reject it and do not consider yourselves worthy of eternal life, we now turn to the Gentiles. For this is what the Lord has commanded us: " 'I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth.' " When the Gentiles heard this, they were glad and honored the word of the Lord; and all who were appointed for eternal life believed.'
[Acts 13:44-48]
So. God. Listening. It's wonderful. When I come to the realization again and again that He doesn't merely hear me, but listens to me, I am floored. This personal belief is backed up by all the answers to prayers God has given me, especially during the past month. I can't go into too great of detail in regards to this, just because I like that my hands function. And I feel that if I were to type everything out right now, my fingers and wrists would probably hurt or simply not work tomorrow. Thus, you will simply have to trust me in saying that God is faithful and listens to every word we speak. Every thought in our mind. Every cry of our soul. He could choose not to. But He is a loving, compassionate, and gracious God. And I shouldn't have to remind you that all glory goes to Him when our prayers are answered.
I would like to challenge you; remind yourself that there are more people than you may think that are willing to listen. So if you usually do the listening, take a step out and seek others who will listen to you. And if you usually do the talking, close your mouth and open your ears. Show love to one another in doing these things. By asking someone to listen, you are saying that you trust them. By listening to someone, you are saying that you care about them enough to do so. We hear it so often: "God loves you." It is truth. God loves all of His created children. And even though not every child will receive eternal life, wouldn't you say they are still worthy of it because they are loved by God? Look around you each day as you go about living your life and remember that the people you see are all beloved children of God. They all are worthy of being reached out to. It is not a single group of people that "deserve" or "need" to be reached. There are people who have questions and are seeking, but don't know who will listen to them. And there are people who could answer a lot of those questions, but they don't stop to actually listen to the questions. The greatness of God could be revealed more and more if we took the time to listen and let ourselves be used by God, letting Him speak through us to His people He loves.
'On the next Sabbath almost the whole city gathered to hear the word of the Lord. When the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy and talked abusively against what Paul was saying. Then Paul and Barnabas answered them boldly: "We had to speak the word of God to you first. Since you reject it and do not consider yourselves worthy of eternal life, we now turn to the Gentiles. For this is what the Lord has commanded us: " 'I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth.' " When the Gentiles heard this, they were glad and honored the word of the Lord; and all who were appointed for eternal life believed.'
[Acts 13:44-48]
December 1, 2008
Ch. 262 - Wading
I feel like I'm in a baby pool. No matter where I turn, no matter where I step, I am in shallow water. I am desperately seeking deeper waters to dive into. Most of the time I feel like I am learning, but not growing. I am not being stretched. I am not being challenged. I am not being stimulated. I've been saying this over and over, I know. But it's true. Intelligent conversation is a great thing... God-talks are beautiful and encouraging... small groups and Bible studies can be so uplifting... but apparently the only things that matter around here are boys/girls [and marriage], shopping, movies, texting - oh, and the occasional "Biblical discussion" about baptism and its role in salvation.
Deciding to come to this school was one of the best decisions I've ever made. However, it was also one of the worst decisions I've ever made. Don't get me wrong, I love it here. I really do. But sometimes I just want to wake these people up and ask what is wrong with them! Do classes really take so much of their time and attention (both faith-wise and non-faith-wise) that they can't spend some time out of class in discussion, [Bible] study, etc.? Other than in class and chapel, neither God nor the Bible is ever topical. Neither come up in daily conversation. You ask someone how they are and all they respond with is, "I'm tired." Where is your joy? There is a young man on this campus who is different, though. You ask him how he's doing, you'll hear something along the lines of, "I'm blessed," or "I'm fighting the fight." And you know he means what he's saying. He's not just saying it out of habit. Talk to him for a few minutes and you will see just how focused he is. He loves Jesus and it is so incredibly apparent. It's refreshing.
So I suppose part of my problem is that I'm not trying hard enough to find those people who are like-minded and want the same thing I do. Or when I do find them, I'm not initiating anything. I'm not trying to make that connection. I want it so bad right now, though. I need it. I've been doing things on my own lately and it's just not enough. It's kind of like I've only been drinking lemonade. It quenches my thirst for awhile, but in reality it just makes me even more thirsty.
'Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.'
[Proverbs 3:13-18]
......
Ch. 262, Part Two:
Please note that I am speaking about a minority of the school's population. I also admit that I can be quite the hypocrite, so I'm not putting blame on anyone for my disappointment (for lack of a better word). There are always going to be things we can work on. Nobody's perfect. And I certainly don't know people's hearts. This has simply been on my mind lately and I thought I'd get it out there.
Deciding to come to this school was one of the best decisions I've ever made. However, it was also one of the worst decisions I've ever made. Don't get me wrong, I love it here. I really do. But sometimes I just want to wake these people up and ask what is wrong with them! Do classes really take so much of their time and attention (both faith-wise and non-faith-wise) that they can't spend some time out of class in discussion, [Bible] study, etc.? Other than in class and chapel, neither God nor the Bible is ever topical. Neither come up in daily conversation. You ask someone how they are and all they respond with is, "I'm tired." Where is your joy? There is a young man on this campus who is different, though. You ask him how he's doing, you'll hear something along the lines of, "I'm blessed," or "I'm fighting the fight." And you know he means what he's saying. He's not just saying it out of habit. Talk to him for a few minutes and you will see just how focused he is. He loves Jesus and it is so incredibly apparent. It's refreshing.
So I suppose part of my problem is that I'm not trying hard enough to find those people who are like-minded and want the same thing I do. Or when I do find them, I'm not initiating anything. I'm not trying to make that connection. I want it so bad right now, though. I need it. I've been doing things on my own lately and it's just not enough. It's kind of like I've only been drinking lemonade. It quenches my thirst for awhile, but in reality it just makes me even more thirsty.
'Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.'
[Proverbs 3:13-18]
......
Ch. 262, Part Two:
Please note that I am speaking about a minority of the school's population. I also admit that I can be quite the hypocrite, so I'm not putting blame on anyone for my disappointment (for lack of a better word). There are always going to be things we can work on. Nobody's perfect. And I certainly don't know people's hearts. This has simply been on my mind lately and I thought I'd get it out there.
November 11, 2008
Ch. 242 - Warriors of God
I'll let you in on a secret:
When I am looking for something specific, I often look right over it.
Under it.
Next to it.
Behind it.
It's right there in front of me, but I don't see it.
Maybe it's because I'm too focused on something else.
Maybe I'm in too big a hurry.
Maybe I get too distracted by other things.
And I'll get frustrated.
In typical Natalie-fashion, I'll go to my mom (who is the boss and in charge of the Keene household). She, in turn, will go straight to what I've been looking for, point it out, and give me the look that I have all too well come to associate with this type of situation.
I knew it was there the entire time - I could sense it - but my eyes were not open. And then, as soon as someone points it out to me, they are opened and I see clearly.
Something similar happened to me this morning.
Before I continue, I must tell you how much I love the school I'm attending, Central Christian College of the Bible. I really do love it. I love the people here, I love the campus itself, I love my teachers, my classes. There's simply something very special about it. It is a beautiful light in a dark community and I am honored to be part of it. I definitely feel that I belong at Central and that God placed me here for a reason. I'm still figuring out what that reason is, but [thankfully] I finally have the patience to not mind taking things one day at a time. Now, also understand that I'm not saying Central and the people involved with the school are without fault. There are weaknesses, breaks in the chain. There are people here whose hearts are not right with God, for example. But I don't want to focus on the 'bad' aspects, because I believe there is more positive than there is negative in this place.
But this morning, my eyes were opened to something that is of a negative nature. Something dark. Something that hurts. Something that destroys. It's not like I've never experienced it before. I've dealt with it. Faced it. Been kicked down by it.
This 'it' is the enemy.
You may think, 'Uh, Natalie, you're at a Bible college...
How could Satan affect anything?
You're all surrounded by fellow believers.
Satan can't touch you.'
Here's the deal. This morning in my SALT class, my small group leader mentioned that she had received a text from our teacher about a veil of darkness that was over our school, and that we are truly under spiritual warfare with the enemy - and that we should pray about it. As soon as my leader read the text, my heart skipped a couple of beats. That was it. For the last month or so, I've felt something was... off. Not with myself entirely - but in general... something was not right. I've felt uneasy. Uncomfortable. So as soon as it was said, I realized just how true it is.
As aforementioned, I said our school is a light in the community it's situated in. I like to think we do a lot of good for a lot of people. We're working hard. We're sharing the love, spreading the Word. And through it all - studies, devotionals, personal time with God, etc. included - we are drawing closer to God. But the closer we draw near to Him, the more frustrated Satan becomes... and the more he tries to pull us down. Unfortunately, it's working. I say this from personal experience these past few weeks, as well as from learning of others' misfortunes and stories of the attacks they've felt on their spirits and hearts lately.
One thing the school's really been working on is prayer - and this is a great, great thing. Prayer is one of our greatest weapons against the enemy. We can't let our guard down, though. It needs to be constant. And we need to constantly be worshiping God with our lives - not just during chapel or on Sunday mornings. I think Christianity is a lifestyle. It's a tough lifestyle, though. You have to work at it. You have to learn to persevere. You can't become accustomed to giving up easily. You have to be in the here and now. You can't worry about tomorrow or the next day. Fortunately, God is always with us. We can lean on Him. We can trust Him. We can depend on Him. We can talk to Him. He does give us strength. He does give us love. He does give us answers. But we should give everything to Him. He wants our joys. He wants our struggles. He wants us, just as we are. He wants a relationship.
I think that's something we forget often. And I think that's a weakness that Satan is using against us. We focus so much on school or work or completing service hours [or finding a spouse...], and not enough on our relationship with God. I also think that we are not a united body in Christ. There are always going to be cliques. There is always going to be gossip. There are always going to be childish, immature games being played. But we're not working at repelling any of this. And it's affecting our relationships with one another. And if we're to be worshiping God with our entire lives, it affects our relationship with Him, as well. So it's important that we fight these things, because all it is is Satan wanting to come between ourselves and God.
I know this is becoming quite the novel, and that it's sort of all over the place. I don't really know where I'm going. But it's all been on my heart lately, so I thought I would just get it out there. It's just sad that the closer we get to God, the more Satan tries to pull us away from Him. Fortunately, it only makes us stronger in the end. And I suppose it's a good sign when we are attacked, because it can only mean that we are doing something right.
'Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.'
[Psalm 105:4]
When I am looking for something specific, I often look right over it.
Under it.
Next to it.
Behind it.
It's right there in front of me, but I don't see it.
Maybe it's because I'm too focused on something else.
Maybe I'm in too big a hurry.
Maybe I get too distracted by other things.
And I'll get frustrated.
In typical Natalie-fashion, I'll go to my mom (who is the boss and in charge of the Keene household). She, in turn, will go straight to what I've been looking for, point it out, and give me the look that I have all too well come to associate with this type of situation.
I knew it was there the entire time - I could sense it - but my eyes were not open. And then, as soon as someone points it out to me, they are opened and I see clearly.
Something similar happened to me this morning.
Before I continue, I must tell you how much I love the school I'm attending, Central Christian College of the Bible. I really do love it. I love the people here, I love the campus itself, I love my teachers, my classes. There's simply something very special about it. It is a beautiful light in a dark community and I am honored to be part of it. I definitely feel that I belong at Central and that God placed me here for a reason. I'm still figuring out what that reason is, but [thankfully] I finally have the patience to not mind taking things one day at a time. Now, also understand that I'm not saying Central and the people involved with the school are without fault. There are weaknesses, breaks in the chain. There are people here whose hearts are not right with God, for example. But I don't want to focus on the 'bad' aspects, because I believe there is more positive than there is negative in this place.
But this morning, my eyes were opened to something that is of a negative nature. Something dark. Something that hurts. Something that destroys. It's not like I've never experienced it before. I've dealt with it. Faced it. Been kicked down by it.
This 'it' is the enemy.
You may think, 'Uh, Natalie, you're at a Bible college...
How could Satan affect anything?
You're all surrounded by fellow believers.
Satan can't touch you.'
Here's the deal. This morning in my SALT class, my small group leader mentioned that she had received a text from our teacher about a veil of darkness that was over our school, and that we are truly under spiritual warfare with the enemy - and that we should pray about it. As soon as my leader read the text, my heart skipped a couple of beats. That was it. For the last month or so, I've felt something was... off. Not with myself entirely - but in general... something was not right. I've felt uneasy. Uncomfortable. So as soon as it was said, I realized just how true it is.
As aforementioned, I said our school is a light in the community it's situated in. I like to think we do a lot of good for a lot of people. We're working hard. We're sharing the love, spreading the Word. And through it all - studies, devotionals, personal time with God, etc. included - we are drawing closer to God. But the closer we draw near to Him, the more frustrated Satan becomes... and the more he tries to pull us down. Unfortunately, it's working. I say this from personal experience these past few weeks, as well as from learning of others' misfortunes and stories of the attacks they've felt on their spirits and hearts lately.
One thing the school's really been working on is prayer - and this is a great, great thing. Prayer is one of our greatest weapons against the enemy. We can't let our guard down, though. It needs to be constant. And we need to constantly be worshiping God with our lives - not just during chapel or on Sunday mornings. I think Christianity is a lifestyle. It's a tough lifestyle, though. You have to work at it. You have to learn to persevere. You can't become accustomed to giving up easily. You have to be in the here and now. You can't worry about tomorrow or the next day. Fortunately, God is always with us. We can lean on Him. We can trust Him. We can depend on Him. We can talk to Him. He does give us strength. He does give us love. He does give us answers. But we should give everything to Him. He wants our joys. He wants our struggles. He wants us, just as we are. He wants a relationship.
I think that's something we forget often. And I think that's a weakness that Satan is using against us. We focus so much on school or work or completing service hours [or finding a spouse...], and not enough on our relationship with God. I also think that we are not a united body in Christ. There are always going to be cliques. There is always going to be gossip. There are always going to be childish, immature games being played. But we're not working at repelling any of this. And it's affecting our relationships with one another. And if we're to be worshiping God with our entire lives, it affects our relationship with Him, as well. So it's important that we fight these things, because all it is is Satan wanting to come between ourselves and God.
I know this is becoming quite the novel, and that it's sort of all over the place. I don't really know where I'm going. But it's all been on my heart lately, so I thought I would just get it out there. It's just sad that the closer we get to God, the more Satan tries to pull us away from Him. Fortunately, it only makes us stronger in the end. And I suppose it's a good sign when we are attacked, because it can only mean that we are doing something right.
'Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.'
[Psalm 105:4]
October 20, 2008
Ch. 224 - He Knows Us
I'm realizing all the more that the way I think, speak and act depends on the people I'm around. And I don't like that. Not one bit. I should, by now, be able to be my own person. I feel pathetic. I mean, I could go ahead and say that I'm still trying to figure out just exactly who I am... but I don't believe that we will ever fully know ourselves. The only person who truly comprehends and knows all of me is God.
And I'm glad.
I look at it as if it's a game. A puzzle, really. You have to use many small pieces to put together a large picture. You try out different pieces here and there. Sometimes the first piece you try to put into place simply fits. Other times, pieces look like they fit, but in reality they don't - so over time you make an adjustment, putting the pieces that truly fit into their rightful places. Putting a puzzle together can be really relaxing. However, putting a puzzle together can also be very frustrating.
I like to think that as I am working on my puzzle, God cheers for me when I place the pieces correctly. Especially when I see that one piece doesn't actually go in a particular spot - it's merely an impostor. A thing to fill a void.
I am so lucky to have a God that fills all empty space. To have a God who knows me inside and out. To have a God who loves me unconditionally, no matter where I am in my walk.
'The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.'
[1 John 4:8-9]
And I'm glad.
I look at it as if it's a game. A puzzle, really. You have to use many small pieces to put together a large picture. You try out different pieces here and there. Sometimes the first piece you try to put into place simply fits. Other times, pieces look like they fit, but in reality they don't - so over time you make an adjustment, putting the pieces that truly fit into their rightful places. Putting a puzzle together can be really relaxing. However, putting a puzzle together can also be very frustrating.
I like to think that as I am working on my puzzle, God cheers for me when I place the pieces correctly. Especially when I see that one piece doesn't actually go in a particular spot - it's merely an impostor. A thing to fill a void.
I am so lucky to have a God that fills all empty space. To have a God who knows me inside and out. To have a God who loves me unconditionally, no matter where I am in my walk.
'The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.'
[1 John 4:8-9]
October 2, 2008
Ch. 206 - A Two-Way Street
This week's memory verse:
'Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.'
[James 4:8, NASB]
24. August 2010 Edit:
I personally believe that this is one of those "live-by" verses. Draw near to God. Cleanse... purify... It's good. It's simply good. And I think that by doing these things we will be benefited in a multitude of ways. I think that God desires to bless His children. But if we aren't close with Him, if we aren't striving to be more like His Son, then who are we to assume that He will bestow upon us anything and everything that we desire or even need? It is important that we humble ourselves before our Lord God and ask Him to help us be the people He created us to be. Repent. Confess. Live in and by Him. And He will, indeed, draw near.
'Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.'
[James 4:8, NASB]
24. August 2010 Edit:
I personally believe that this is one of those "live-by" verses. Draw near to God. Cleanse... purify... It's good. It's simply good. And I think that by doing these things we will be benefited in a multitude of ways. I think that God desires to bless His children. But if we aren't close with Him, if we aren't striving to be more like His Son, then who are we to assume that He will bestow upon us anything and everything that we desire or even need? It is important that we humble ourselves before our Lord God and ask Him to help us be the people He created us to be. Repent. Confess. Live in and by Him. And He will, indeed, draw near.
October 1, 2008
Ch. 205 - Living With Joy
I needed today to be a good day.
And it was.
God was with me today.
Don't bother saying or thinking, 'He always is!'
I know.
I know, I know, I know.
But I'm going to say it again:
God was with me today.
I'm slowing down.
I'm finding the joy.
I'm seeking HIM.
I'm living peacefully.
It's about time.
'Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord. You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.'
[Psalm 4:6-8]
And it was.
God was with me today.
Don't bother saying or thinking, 'He always is!'
I know.
I know, I know, I know.
But I'm going to say it again:
God was with me today.
I'm slowing down.
I'm finding the joy.
I'm seeking HIM.
I'm living peacefully.
It's about time.
'Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord. You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.'
[Psalm 4:6-8]
September 24, 2008
Ch. 198 - Talking to Learn
I don't talk a whole lot. I mean, I do when I'm comfortable with people. But even then - as I've said many times before - I like to listen more than talk. But I'm finding out that the more I do talk, the more I learn about myself. I hope that makes sense. It's kind of like as I say something, I have to slow down because I'm hearing it for the first time myself. And it makes me think. 'Did I really just say that? Wow, do I mean this? Is that how I really feel? Hm. That makes sense... Ok, yeah! Yeah, I'll go with that! Great!'
As I speak up more and talk to people about faith and God and journeys, I'm learning more about my relationship with God and where I am at certain points in time. And I'm really grateful for this. I'm also glad that God knows me better than I do. He knows where I'm coming from, where I am, where I'm going. He knows the depths of my heart and I love the fact that He loves me for who I am, no matter what.
God is good.
'My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.'
[Psalm 139:15-16]
As I speak up more and talk to people about faith and God and journeys, I'm learning more about my relationship with God and where I am at certain points in time. And I'm really grateful for this. I'm also glad that God knows me better than I do. He knows where I'm coming from, where I am, where I'm going. He knows the depths of my heart and I love the fact that He loves me for who I am, no matter what.
God is good.
'My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.'
[Psalm 139:15-16]
September 11, 2008
Ch. 184 - Taking the Time
I have not written for one week.
That's a long time.
The pace for school has heavily increased and I find myself not wanting to wind down and think about the day, but instead wanting to simply crawl into bed - and often later than I would like to be going to bed... much later. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually enjoying studying and working on my assignments and everything. It's just that there's so much to do in so little time. And I haven't even started basketball practice. Or musical rehearsals. Or regularly volunteering.
The worst part of it all is that I have been spending so much time learning about God and the Bible and faith in class that I haven't been spending time doing personal devotions or reading my Bible for my own pleasure and benefit. I talk to God a few times a day and that's about it. But today I spent a good hour and a half reading and reflecting and truly spending time with my God. Let me tell you... I got about three hours of sleep this morning because I was up studying for a Life of Christ test (which, of course, turned out to be incredibly easier than expected and cut in half question-wise). I was tired. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't think clearly. My head hurt. My eyes hurt. And it was a rainy morning. Ugh! But after I sat down and truly gave my time to God, I returned to classes with a renewed energy and felt more rested than I have in a long time. Oh, trust me: I'm still very tired. But I feel like my soul is more rested; I think that's really important.
I can't pour myself into anything and everything without asking God to pour Himself into me from time to time.
'Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.'
[Psalm 143:8]
That's a long time.
The pace for school has heavily increased and I find myself not wanting to wind down and think about the day, but instead wanting to simply crawl into bed - and often later than I would like to be going to bed... much later. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually enjoying studying and working on my assignments and everything. It's just that there's so much to do in so little time. And I haven't even started basketball practice. Or musical rehearsals. Or regularly volunteering.
The worst part of it all is that I have been spending so much time learning about God and the Bible and faith in class that I haven't been spending time doing personal devotions or reading my Bible for my own pleasure and benefit. I talk to God a few times a day and that's about it. But today I spent a good hour and a half reading and reflecting and truly spending time with my God. Let me tell you... I got about three hours of sleep this morning because I was up studying for a Life of Christ test (which, of course, turned out to be incredibly easier than expected and cut in half question-wise). I was tired. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't think clearly. My head hurt. My eyes hurt. And it was a rainy morning. Ugh! But after I sat down and truly gave my time to God, I returned to classes with a renewed energy and felt more rested than I have in a long time. Oh, trust me: I'm still very tired. But I feel like my soul is more rested; I think that's really important.
I can't pour myself into anything and everything without asking God to pour Himself into me from time to time.
'Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.'
[Psalm 143:8]
September 1, 2008
Ch. 180 - All of Him
God is everything to me.
God is my Light.
God is my Father.
God is my Guide.
God is my Protector.
God is my Friend.
God is my Teacher.
God is my Healer.
God is my Provider.
I could go on, but I'm going to take the liberty of believing you get the picture.
When I think about everything that God is to me - as well as my brothers and sisters - I feel overwhelmed. He is such a compassionate, merciful, loving, forgiving God. At times I feel like I might break under what little understanding I have of Him.
But I want more.
I want more of God.
I want more of everything He was.
I want more of everything He is.
I want more of everything He will be.
I'm trying my best at this point in my life to be as selfless as possible. However, I think that wanting more of our God is something we should be selfish about. When I was a little girl my parents used to fight over me. They'd each tug on one arm and say, "She's mine - No, she's mine!" I loved this and I'd just laugh and laugh. My mom tells me this story now and then, I only vaguely remember them doing this. The reason I bring it up is that I like to think of playing tug-of-war over God with everybody else. There's enough of Him to go around over and over again, but we all want as much of Him as possible. I want God to be mine. Sure, I want to share Him with people that do not know Him and have it be that they also want God to be their own, but otherwise, I am going to be selfish with God.
'The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me besides quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.'
[Psalm 23:1-3]
I love that the last part of Psalm 23:3 says, 'He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.' It doesn't say 'He guides me in paths of righteousness for my sake' or even just 'He guides me in paths of righteousness.' No. '... for his name's sake.' Personally, that's a great reminder of the fact that I'm living my life for God and only God. It's all for Him. All the glory goes to God.
God is my Light.
God is my Father.
God is my Guide.
God is my Protector.
God is my Friend.
God is my Teacher.
God is my Healer.
God is my Provider.
I could go on, but I'm going to take the liberty of believing you get the picture.
When I think about everything that God is to me - as well as my brothers and sisters - I feel overwhelmed. He is such a compassionate, merciful, loving, forgiving God. At times I feel like I might break under what little understanding I have of Him.
But I want more.
I want more of God.
I want more of everything He was.
I want more of everything He is.
I want more of everything He will be.
I'm trying my best at this point in my life to be as selfless as possible. However, I think that wanting more of our God is something we should be selfish about. When I was a little girl my parents used to fight over me. They'd each tug on one arm and say, "She's mine - No, she's mine!" I loved this and I'd just laugh and laugh. My mom tells me this story now and then, I only vaguely remember them doing this. The reason I bring it up is that I like to think of playing tug-of-war over God with everybody else. There's enough of Him to go around over and over again, but we all want as much of Him as possible. I want God to be mine. Sure, I want to share Him with people that do not know Him and have it be that they also want God to be their own, but otherwise, I am going to be selfish with God.
'The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me besides quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.'
[Psalm 23:1-3]
I love that the last part of Psalm 23:3 says, 'He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.' It doesn't say 'He guides me in paths of righteousness for my sake' or even just 'He guides me in paths of righteousness.' No. '... for his name's sake.' Personally, that's a great reminder of the fact that I'm living my life for God and only God. It's all for Him. All the glory goes to God.
August 20, 2008
Ch. 168 - Vulnerability
God is personal to us.
So it's really difficult to be vulnerable with other people when it comes to God. But pushing ourselves to be just that is what makes us grow.
I was taking an assessment questionnaire today during our World Views session. One of the questions asked something along the lines of how many hours I spend each week talking to others about God and my faith. As much as I wanted to shade the rectangle in the 5-10 hours per week, I wasn't going to lie. So I went with the truth and shaded in the rectangle in the 0-2 hours per week. I actually felt ashamed of myself as I slowly moved my pencil back and forth in thin lines to fill in the small box. It's the truth, though. I haven't had a good, sit-down, heart-to-heart kind of talk with anyone and just talked about God in a long, long time. I suppose I'm in a pretty good place to change that!
But even if 5-10 hours (or more!) were the truth, that in itself would be a challenge for me, because it truly is difficult for me to talk about my faith openly with fellow believers. Eight months into the year and I am still no closer to actually working on my new year's resolution. I said the same thing at two and a half months into the year (see Ch. 62) and thought about it a few times here and there since then... so I'm obviously pretty conscious that I'm not doing anything about it.
I have to get over the fact that being vulnerable with people is not going to kill me. God is always with me. He is my Light and my Guide. I can't retreat into the dark just because it's not always easy to talk about the Light.
'I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.'
[Philippians 4:13]
Putting the memory verses to use!
So it's really difficult to be vulnerable with other people when it comes to God. But pushing ourselves to be just that is what makes us grow.
I was taking an assessment questionnaire today during our World Views session. One of the questions asked something along the lines of how many hours I spend each week talking to others about God and my faith. As much as I wanted to shade the rectangle in the 5-10 hours per week, I wasn't going to lie. So I went with the truth and shaded in the rectangle in the 0-2 hours per week. I actually felt ashamed of myself as I slowly moved my pencil back and forth in thin lines to fill in the small box. It's the truth, though. I haven't had a good, sit-down, heart-to-heart kind of talk with anyone and just talked about God in a long, long time. I suppose I'm in a pretty good place to change that!
But even if 5-10 hours (or more!) were the truth, that in itself would be a challenge for me, because it truly is difficult for me to talk about my faith openly with fellow believers. Eight months into the year and I am still no closer to actually working on my new year's resolution. I said the same thing at two and a half months into the year (see Ch. 62) and thought about it a few times here and there since then... so I'm obviously pretty conscious that I'm not doing anything about it.
I have to get over the fact that being vulnerable with people is not going to kill me. God is always with me. He is my Light and my Guide. I can't retreat into the dark just because it's not always easy to talk about the Light.
'I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.'
[Philippians 4:13]
Putting the memory verses to use!
August 10, 2008
Ch. 158 - The Boldness of Peter
Sometimes trial and error is the only way of finding the best way to prepare or practice for something. This may include the best way of following God or answering a call.
Remember the boldness of Peter as he stepped out of the boat to go to Jesus.
Have faith.
Stand strong in any storm that may surround you.
We need God - but He needs us, too.
Don't miss the divine invitation to follow Jesus and serve God.
'During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
[Matthew 14:25-31]
Remember the boldness of Peter as he stepped out of the boat to go to Jesus.
Have faith.
Stand strong in any storm that may surround you.
We need God - but He needs us, too.
Don't miss the divine invitation to follow Jesus and serve God.
'During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
[Matthew 14:25-31]
August 2, 2008
Ch. 150 - Full Speed Ahead
'Into marvelous light I'm running,
out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross You are the truth,
You are the life, You are the way.
My dead heart now is beating,
my deepest stains now clean.
Your breath fills up my lungs,
now I'm free, now I'm free.
Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that I have found.
Oh the marvelous light,
the marvelous light.'
[Marvelous Light]
This is, quite possibly, one of my favorite songs ever. It really speaks to me and I am able to connect to it because I believe a lot of it perfectly describes how I've come to know Christ and what has happened in my life since I've truly accepted Him into my heart.
A couple weeks ago I had written a post about receiving something I had been waiting for [see Chs. 136 and 137]. That 'something' was forgiveness. I know, I know: 'How can you be waiting for forgiveness? God forgives everything once you ask for it and expect that it will be given to you.' I don't know how to describe my thought process behind it, though. Just trust me when I say that I know when God has truly forgiven me for something. It's one of those 'things', you know? A feeling. A thought. A sense of humility like no other.
Anyway, while I was waiting for said forgiveness, I couldn't help but notice that I didn't feel quite right. I didn't feel alive in Christ... a terrible feeling. So the verse I have posted above ('my dead heart now is beating...') really represents that struggle I felt in my heart to connect with God and focus on Him while waiting for His forgiveness - and then the turnaround with His breath filling up my lungs, setting me free in His love, mercy and grace. I don't think the verse can only be about accepting Christ into your heart and being free in Him, which is a great thing. It is able to speak to all people and meet them where they are in life and in their walks with God. Beautiful.
I also appreciate the first part of the song that I posted ('by the cross you are the truth...').
' "Jesus answered, "I am the way, and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." '
[John 14:6]
I have been on the other side of the fence and thus can tell you, with firsthand experience, that it couldn't be more true. If you think there's any way around it, you are wrong. That's a pretty opinionated and bold statement, but I agree with what Jesus said so strongly that there's no way I'd say or believe otherwise.
So yes, I am running into marvelous light... and I'm not slowing down anytime soon.
' "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." '
[Matthew 7:13-14]
out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross You are the truth,
You are the life, You are the way.
My dead heart now is beating,
my deepest stains now clean.
Your breath fills up my lungs,
now I'm free, now I'm free.
Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that I have found.
Oh the marvelous light,
the marvelous light.'
[Marvelous Light]
This is, quite possibly, one of my favorite songs ever. It really speaks to me and I am able to connect to it because I believe a lot of it perfectly describes how I've come to know Christ and what has happened in my life since I've truly accepted Him into my heart.
A couple weeks ago I had written a post about receiving something I had been waiting for [see Chs. 136 and 137]. That 'something' was forgiveness. I know, I know: 'How can you be waiting for forgiveness? God forgives everything once you ask for it and expect that it will be given to you.' I don't know how to describe my thought process behind it, though. Just trust me when I say that I know when God has truly forgiven me for something. It's one of those 'things', you know? A feeling. A thought. A sense of humility like no other.
Anyway, while I was waiting for said forgiveness, I couldn't help but notice that I didn't feel quite right. I didn't feel alive in Christ... a terrible feeling. So the verse I have posted above ('my dead heart now is beating...') really represents that struggle I felt in my heart to connect with God and focus on Him while waiting for His forgiveness - and then the turnaround with His breath filling up my lungs, setting me free in His love, mercy and grace. I don't think the verse can only be about accepting Christ into your heart and being free in Him, which is a great thing. It is able to speak to all people and meet them where they are in life and in their walks with God. Beautiful.
I also appreciate the first part of the song that I posted ('by the cross you are the truth...').
' "Jesus answered, "I am the way, and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." '
[John 14:6]
I have been on the other side of the fence and thus can tell you, with firsthand experience, that it couldn't be more true. If you think there's any way around it, you are wrong. That's a pretty opinionated and bold statement, but I agree with what Jesus said so strongly that there's no way I'd say or believe otherwise.
So yes, I am running into marvelous light... and I'm not slowing down anytime soon.
' "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." '
[Matthew 7:13-14]
July 18, 2008
Ch. 135 - Dumbfounded
Have you ever felt the need to say something to a dear friend, but simply didn't? Something fresh. Something exciting. Something loving. Something important. You don't want to change their minds over something or make them feel unsupported, but you feel you need to lay it all down for them... you need to lay it out in hope that they will be able to see things the way you do. And not just see things, but understand it all.
I really don't want to elaborate, so I'm sorry for the vagueness of the post. But it's on my heart and I need to get it out.
You can understand something and not believe it.
But you can believe something and not understand it.
You may say that you can't believe something until you understand it inside and out, but I disagree. I think you could call that faith.
' "Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." '
[Mark 11:22-26]
I really don't want to elaborate, so I'm sorry for the vagueness of the post. But it's on my heart and I need to get it out.
You can understand something and not believe it.
But you can believe something and not understand it.
You may say that you can't believe something until you understand it inside and out, but I disagree. I think you could call that faith.
' "Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." '
[Mark 11:22-26]
June 15, 2008
Ch. 102 - Faaather
I like to call my dad 'father' sometimes. For example, I'll greet him when he comes in the door from work with a simple "Hello father," and he'll respond with "Hello daughter."
I like this.
Mostly I just call him dad, though. I've never been one to call him 'daddy'. He keeps saying that when my sister has her baby and he becomes a 'Grandaddy' or a 'Papa' that he will be called 'Grandfather.' And not just 'grandfather' - but 'grandfaaather' with a slight English accent. He can be so silly sometimes, I don't know what to do with him!
My dad's a great guy. At times he's a man of few words, but he makes them count. He's quiet. Not shy, really. Just quiet. And gentle! Yet he's not a gentle giant, exactly. I mean, he's not imposing, but he's not meek either. I think one of the things I like most about my dad is that he makes you feel comfortable when you're around him. There's something about his presence that makes you feel at home, wherever you are.
He always wants what is best for you, and only you. He cares for your well-being. I know that he will do anything to ensure our family's health, safety, security, and happiness.
'Father' is very intelligent. He's got one of those math and science brains that I would kill to have a piece of, but he's creative, too. He's got a good job at Rockwell Collins, but I worry about him sometimes because I think he's taken advantage of. He's dependable. Reliable. Quick-thinking. Hard-working. A problem-solver. In short, he'll get the job done, whatever the assignment is, and he'll get it done really well.
This world - and especially Rockwell Collins - could use more Kevin Keenes, that's for sure.
My dad has a beautiful heart and a good head on his shoulders. He is a man of integrity. He's down-to-earth, humble, patient, and a good servant and disciple of Christ. I am so lucky to have him in my life.
'Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.'
[Ephesians 6:4]
I believe my dad has done this and I am thankful for all he has done in his 19 years of raising me.
I like this.
Mostly I just call him dad, though. I've never been one to call him 'daddy'. He keeps saying that when my sister has her baby and he becomes a 'Grandaddy' or a 'Papa' that he will be called 'Grandfather.' And not just 'grandfather' - but 'grandfaaather' with a slight English accent. He can be so silly sometimes, I don't know what to do with him!
My dad's a great guy. At times he's a man of few words, but he makes them count. He's quiet. Not shy, really. Just quiet. And gentle! Yet he's not a gentle giant, exactly. I mean, he's not imposing, but he's not meek either. I think one of the things I like most about my dad is that he makes you feel comfortable when you're around him. There's something about his presence that makes you feel at home, wherever you are.
He always wants what is best for you, and only you. He cares for your well-being. I know that he will do anything to ensure our family's health, safety, security, and happiness.
'Father' is very intelligent. He's got one of those math and science brains that I would kill to have a piece of, but he's creative, too. He's got a good job at Rockwell Collins, but I worry about him sometimes because I think he's taken advantage of. He's dependable. Reliable. Quick-thinking. Hard-working. A problem-solver. In short, he'll get the job done, whatever the assignment is, and he'll get it done really well.
This world - and especially Rockwell Collins - could use more Kevin Keenes, that's for sure.
My dad has a beautiful heart and a good head on his shoulders. He is a man of integrity. He's down-to-earth, humble, patient, and a good servant and disciple of Christ. I am so lucky to have him in my life.
'Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.'
[Ephesians 6:4]
I believe my dad has done this and I am thankful for all he has done in his 19 years of raising me.
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