Ch. 364 - Preparation

'For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.'
[Ephesians 2:10]

When I read this, I get excited. I want God to open doors for me so that I can find out what the good works are that He has prepared for me to do.

Yet when I feel like He's not opening those doors, I wonder why.
I constantly pray for opportunities.
Opportunities to love.
Opportunities to serve.
Opportunities to challenge.
So when I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere, I feel... a bit letdown. A little discouraged, even.

I think we often hear that God won't let us be tempted beyond what we can handle [1 Corinthians 10:13]. But a friend reminded me a couple days ago that God will give you what you can handle... when you can handle it. Do what you know you need to do for now. God will take care of things from there. I think I'm still in a major growing phase and that I need to actually help myself before anyone else. As selfish as that sounds, I believe it's true. I need to better know who Christ is before I can help others know Him. That's a tough realization for someone like me, who doesn't like to focus on what I need and look inwards, then attempt to fulfill those needs. I like to think that I'm good. I know enough. I have enough. But that's so far from the truth that I can barely handle it. So I really do need to turn to God with an empty cup and ask Him to fill it. When I am so focused on Him that I don't realize my cup is overflowing, and He has to say, "Natalie, look!" ... that's when I'll be ready.