Ch. 751 - Seasons of Testing

"Let the winds blow...
Awake, awake oh north wind...
Come oh winds of testing,
come winds of refreshing..."

Oh Lord God... work on me.
Refine me.
Test me.
Do what You will.
For I know that what You do to and for me is good.
... Not to mention necessary.


' "This third I will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The Lord is our God.' " '
[Zechariah 13:9]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 343.

Ch. 750 - Call On His Name

A present-day vision of Heaven... Thank You, Lord God, for this beautiful realization. So simple. Wondrous.

......

"There's no other name."

JESUS.

Such power.
Magnificence.

Overwhelming, O God, is Your presence. But oh, how thankful I am for it. I pray for a new constant in my life, Lord God. A constant... of Your presence... joy... stability... self-discipline... anything that is of You, and You alone.

I want You.
I need You.

A true desire.

A new hunger and thirst.
I can only be satiated by You.
Fill me like never before.

"Wake me up."

I want to do things with You, not merely for You. I yearn, oh how I yearn, for You.

"I sit here at Your feet,
I find my rest in You.
I sit here at Your feet,
I take great delight in You."

Lord God, only You satisfy.


'I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips. '
[Psalm 34:1]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 336.

Ch. 749 - Glory Leads to Praise

I am frustrated.

...

To fully worship God with all that we have... oh, the beauty... to not hold back, to be free. Such desire. For "the dwelling place of God - it is with man." We have access to Him. Why worship Him as He is far away, as if we have to wait for Him to come to us?


' "And the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it." '
[Isaiah 40:5]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 327.

Ch. 748 - He is Law

Psalm 119:161-176...

'Great peace have they who love your
law,
and nothing can make them
stumble.'
[Verse 165]

'I obey your precepts and your statutes,
for all my ways are known to you.'
[Verse 168]

'May my lips overflow with praise...
May my tongue sing of your word...'
[Verses 171a, 172a]

'I long for your salvation, O Lord...'
[Verse 174a]

Jesus said that He came not t abolish the law, but to fulfill it. In my mind, He is [the] Law. By loving Him, Law, we have "great peace". We have peace in Him and through Him, for He is Peace, just as He is Law. He is also, then, our Delight, and we long for Him and the salvation He brings... that we may be in His presence for all eternity. My lips overflow and my tongue sings, indeed! For He is the righteous Teacher. And I obey Him because I love Him. And as verse 168 says, all my ways are known to Him. There is nothing I could say or do that would be unknown. There is no point in not submitting to Him.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 323.

Ch. 747 - Nothing Besides YOU

'... And earth has nothing I desire
besides you.'
[Psalm 73:25b]

... What a truth! Or at least, it should be a truth to us... do we truly desire "nothing" but God? Even if it was [truth], we would still be separated from Him, because we are not fully in His presence at all times here in this place. So our desire would never seem to be fulfilled. So in a way, it is good that we have these... distractions... to "desire". They will satisfy us - albeit in a meaningless fashion - until That which we should truly desire above all else can be fully appreciated in His entirety.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 303.

Ch. 746 - 'Awake, my soul!'

Note: 'For the director of music. To the tune of "Do Not Destroy." Of David. A miktam. When he had fled from Saul into the cave.'

'My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.'
[Psalm 57:7-8]

These are beautiful verses - lyrics, really, for they are part of a song written by David. I love that he says his heart is steadfast. To me, steadfast means strong... true, loyal... it represents a perseverance... something that holds. I think David believes God has helped him in such a way that his heart has become steadfast - it was likely that it simply couldn't be helped. And he is thankful for this, which is why he desires to sing and make music before the Lord His God. Now, it is one thing to merely sing... but it is another to sing with your soul. To sing with feeling, emotion. I imagine that David is saying, "Awake, my soul!" because he wants to present to the Lord a song from his very soul. I can almost feel my own heart pound as I wait in anticipation for a new song of joy and thankfulness... of deliverance... to rise up from within me, spilling out into the cave - without hesitation, without reluctance. And I can almost hear the song bounce off the walls and ceiling, making it sound as if a multitude of sonorous voices are giving praise to the God of David, for He loves and saves. The song continues through the night, indeed awakening the dawn... Continuous praise: a sweet and pleasing aroma to the Lord.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 281.

Ch. 745 - Lifted

Lord God, I thank You for this day. I thank You for sorrow, that it makes me feel... alive. It reminds me that Your Son knows what we, as finite beings, go through each day. And it brings me gladness to know that He is sympathetic and compassionate towards Your children. But even so, I ask that You would remind me to continuously turn to You in all things... prayer, confusion, sorrow, joy... and that I would be all the more glad that I have You to turn to. Because people do fail. People do let others down. But You, O God, do not fail, or let Your children down. You are sovereign and loving. You are glad and swift to help us up when we fall. And for this, I thank You.

Lord God, You are ever near. Right by my side. Ready. Attentive. Quick to listen, quick to wrap Your arms around me. Do I deserve these things? No... But You have bought me for a price. And I am worthy in Your sight. Praise is due You, Lord God! "I am Yours, You are mine... and we'll be together forever!" Thank You for truths that You give me to hold onto. They speak of Your greatness and holiness. There is none like You. Hallelujah, hallelujah!

Lord God, hear me. Hear my words. Hear my thoughts. Hear the songs of my spirit and soul. Give me a desire to focus on what truly matters. Help me to love others, and all the more love You. For You are good, always. Refresh me, Lord God. Break me down, rend my heart. Strip me of anything and everything that keeps me from You. Fill me up, then, so that I may know You more and be near to You. And then, O God, pour me out unto others, that they may experience Your Holy Spirit. For only You can truly fill them up, but You can use me to give them a taste... a touch. That is what I desire. Be it through joy inexpressible, encouragement, a prophetic word, a simple prayer, or some other manifestation... I want others to know and love You and Your Spirit. Lord God, You are gracious and merciful. I pray that I would be able to strengthen myself in regards to these qualities, in becoming more like Your Son.

It's in His name, always... let it be so.

Ch. 744 - Bridegroom Thoughts

These concise thoughts are the result of reading a report written by a young man named Blaise Foret. I think he's a student at IHOPU, but I could be wrong... Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about what was said in the paper and through my own reading... and I want to just get my thoughts down.

Jesus is the Bridegroom.
A husband's love for his wife surpasses his love for his children.
Or, at least it should.

Jesus coming as the Church's Bridegroom... mere language... or truth?

[Ephesians 5:22-33]

Christ: His Church
Husbands: Wives
<------------------->
One body...
Mutuality in love...

Mystery: Christ and the Church
--> Communication
--> Emotions [like fire]

Engagement... it creates a longing, a yearning... a deep desire.
[A yearning from and of the Holy Spirit...]

Our desire for the return of Christ, for the marriage to the Bridegroom, will be a "real impartation of hunger that comes from the Holy Spirit..."

[Luke 18:7-8]

A perfect marriage.
Faithful in all facets.

His presence will bring peace and rest.

The cry: "Come!"

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 271.

Ch. 743 - By and Through...

Luke 1:35
Jesus was born of the Spirit.

Luke 3:22
Jesus was baptized by the Spirit.

Luke 4:1
Jesus was filled and led by the Spirit.

Acts 10:38
Jesus did miracles through the Spirit.

Hebrews 9:14
Jesus offered himself to death through the Spirit.

Romans 8:11
Jesus rose from the dead by the Spirit.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 255.

Ch. 742 - An Invitation

Oh, to overcome these things day after day...
Battle.
Struggle.

Apathy.
Decreasing... slowly.

Very... slowly...

But I have been given a portion of joy, albeit small.
And I am holding onto it, practically for life.

"Come to My secret, quiet place."
'But I already have, Lord God. I'm in a secret, quiet place, aren't I?'
... "No... you haven't. Come to My secret, quiet place, and step up to My table."

Who would refuse?
He loves me.


'He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.'
[Song of Songs 2:4]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 239.

Ch. 741- Hear My Prayer

'My God, my God, why have you
forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry out by day, but you do
not answer,
by night, and am not silent.

Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the praise of Israel.'
[Psalm 22:1-3]

Alone.
No answer.
O God, lift your daughter up.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 226.

Ch. 740 - None but Him

'Who can say, "I have kept my heart
pure;
I am clean and without sin"?'
[Proverb 20:9]

As sad as it may be, I do believe that no one can - or will ever be able to - say this. It is something that we can and should strive for, of course. But when it comes down to it, no one is entirely pure-hearted. There is no one who can say they are clean and without sin. That is, no one but our Lord, Jesus Christ. And that gives me a hope beyond all concern and doubt and worry and fear... because I know that while I may not be able to answer the proverb's question in the affirmative on my behalf, Someone can and He has taken my sin away.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 221.

Ch. 739 - A New Conviction

One week... much needed time off from blogging in order to figure things out for the beginning of the schoolyear... which I'm totally stoked for. It's going to be a great semester, for sure, and hopefully its greatness will carry over to the spring semester.

Anyway.

If something were to happen that would result in my not being able to go to school for the remainder of the year, I would be okay with that. If I learn nothing else than what I learned yesterday in a single class, I would be okay with that, too. Don't get me wrong... I do want to learn more. But it's as if I feel that what I speak of is truly sufficient to satisfy my desire to learn and grow. It has provided me with something that I know I can personally work on in my life and help others realize and work on as well.

This is a big deal.
Two sentences.
Conviction.
"The truth hurts."
... What a statement.
To be honest, I felt like I was punched in the stomach.
I could practically feel God twisting my heart in His hands.

But this is good.
This is very good.


'My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.'
[Psalm 38:4]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 216.

Ch. 738 - Radiance

'The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.'
[Hebrews 1:3]

What a majestic and powerful God I know.

I feel so overwhelmed right now... but in a good way.
I am also very content. At peace. What a wonderful place to be.
Hmmm... thankful that my Lord God holds my life in His hands.
Pure and simple.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 214.

Ch. 737 - A Transition

Love and be loved.
Annnd that's all I've got.


'... I love you, O Lord, my strength.'
[Psalm 18:1]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 210.

Ch. 736 - ¡Blasphemy!

This morning I was reading in the book of Matthew and the following two verses have stayed with me throughout the day:

' "And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come." '
[Matthew 12:31-32]

I wonder how many people have read these and suddenly become fearful that they have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit. I personally think that you were ever to do so, you would most certainly know... And it's not truly just a case of "speaking a word" against Him. A friend of mine has put it this way: 'How many times have we spoken the Lord's name in vain?' It's okay, He forgives us. Granted, it doesn't give us an excuse to do so. But it's not the end of the world and we are not stripped of our salvation. I believe the blaspheme would be more of an outward sign, and whatever was the root thinking or feeling would become a true, personal belief. I simply cannot imagine what would cause someone to speak against the Holy Spirit and not believe, for example, in His very being or power. It's difficult to think about.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 206.

Ch. 735 - The Ache Within

A few days ago I visited the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City. I really love the arts, and visiting the museum was a wonderful experience. From sculptures to photographs to paintings... I walked through the hallways and exhibit rooms with an open mind and an appreciative eye.

I always feel really comfortable in museums. I enjoy art history and find myself reading up on artists, styles and time periods, etc. from time to time; I especially like to read about my favorite artist, Henri Matisse [click here!], and fauvism. Another little-known fact about Natalie: the 'art' section of Barnes and Noble is more often than not the first section I make a beeline for when I step foot inside. When I look at works of art I feel at peace. Content. Relaxed. Of course, my mind works overtime; I am constantly asking myself questions, wondering about the artistic process and the thoughts of the artist as their hands fabricated the masterpieces that we come to see, know, and love.

So I was really excited to visit a new museum. I thoroughly enjoyed browsing the newest exhibitions, as well as collected works of the museum. Fantastic day. Thus, imagine my surprise when I walked into an extension of the Asian galleries and simply stopped. No breathing. No thinking. No moving. I just... froze. I had walked, head down, into a room painted entirely red. As I lifted my head and looked around, I saw multiple statues of Buddha surrounding me. I mean, there were literally hundreds of Buddha figures in this part of the museum. Large statues, small figurines. Heads, full bodies. And all within different styles. Paintings, too. It was... overwhelming. For a few moments, I felt... afraid. Anxious. Sad.

Aggrieved.
I felt an ache within that I am none too familiar with.

And I hated it.
I truly hated it.
That place.
That sight.

At first, I thought I couldn't handle it.

I wanted to cry.
I wanted to scream.

But instead I took a deep breath and continued onward through the sea of statues. Oh, how I longed to run from those red rooms.

So I did.
Well. Practically.
I didn't run so much as walk quickly.

Coward.

But it was okay. Because that ache turned into a rising passion, which evolved into a realization of the deep desire that I have. The desire for people to know the true God. The living God. Creator, Ruler, Master. King of Kings, Lord of Lords. The Lion, the Lamb, the Lover of all souls. That ache turned into a long-lasting fuel that I will be able to use indefinitely.

Besides, what will happen when I go to the Middle East?
Hijabs.
Mosques.
Minarets.
Calligraphy.
Constant reminders of a faith that I once claimed as my own. Downtowns of the Bible Belt have churches on every corner; I'm not going to lie - a mosque on every corner just sounds... weird. The names of Allah and Muhammad on walls and doors and windows and signs.... everywhere. Whether by muezzin or recording, heralds of the call to prayer are heard five times a day... every day.

What then?
Will I freeze up, gripped by fear and anxiety and sadness?
Will I want to run?

Or will I feel, all the more, that ache... that desire... to spread the Word of my Lord God and Savior?

Only He knows.

Regardless, I do know that I can only rely on Him, trusting Him for strength, courage, and boldness.


' "You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments." '
[Exodus 20:3-6]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 199.

Ch. 734 - Qs With No As.

Ten days.
Another fresh start.

' "I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel. "For he is the living God and he endures forever; his kingdom will not be destroyed, his dominion will never end. He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions." '
[Daniel 6:26-27]

Can you imagine what the United States would be like if our president issued a decree like the one above that King Darius issued? If people truly obeyed the decree... what would America look like? Would people truly turn to the "living God" and turn away from their sin? Would they allow themselves to be refined by the fire of God? Would they live their lives for Him? Would the downtrodden find joy? How quickly would people realize that their lives have purpose? Would they grasp the true meaning of the American dream... hope? And would America become the land of the absolute free? How would people come to make a difference in the lives of citizens around the world? How many would fully devote their lives to furthering the kingdom of God? How would God use us? What would He do? What magnificent signs and wonders would He perform? How often would we see deliverance from the lions of today?

What would change?
... Anything?

Are we so far gone... so wrapped up in the lives that we lead... that this decree would mean absolutely nothing to us? Have we no fear? Do we not know the meaning of reverence? Have we forgotten how to righteously adore, honor, obey?

I do not mean to sound pessimistic or anything.
I was just reading the book of Daniel and when I came to those verses I began to ask myself questions such as these. I simply needed to get them out of my mind. Peace and blessings upon you.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 191.

Ch. 733 - Roots

I have a difficult time accepting... well... many things.
Friend requests on Facebook from people I don't know...
Criticism.
Truths.
Compliments.
Encouragement.
Kindness.
Care.
Love.

I appreciate all these things. Even criticism, if it is constructive. And the truths, too, which could - more often than not - be classified as "hard-to-handle". Oh, okay... maybe not the first item mentioned...

Anyway, I do. Appreciate these things, I mean. But it's like I don't know how to manage them. Want to know the best part? It's pretty obvious to me that I am not exactly a "pro" at giving these things out to others.

Why is this?

... I try. I really do.
I actually think there has been improvement on the giving side of things over the past couple of years. Bible college will do that to you.

But seriously.
Why do I have to work so hard at doing so?

Do I think people are not "worthy" of these things?
Not that my love or friendship is any better or more important than those of another... but perhaps I am convinced that they wouldn't appreciate it. And thus they are not deserving. Of course, then I am not being obedient to the commands of God: '" 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "' [Mark 12:31a] And if I cannot obey the second greatest commandment, surely I am not following the first: '" 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' "' [Mark 12:30]

After all, to obey is to love.
[1 John 5:3]

Is that the root of my problem?
Could it be that I simply do not love God?
At least, not enough?
But then it must be asked again... Why?

Am I unable to accept the aforementioned things from people because I cannot even accept them from the Lord God Himself? Am I unable to give these things out, namely love, because I cannot even give them - it - to Him?

If I can't even accept His love, the only love that truly matters, how can I expect to gain a greater capacity to love Him? Or truly love Him at all? I mean, despite all that I have read and heard, sung and been told, how greatly do I believe that it is true? But how could I not fully believe? For one, I wouldn't be where I am or who I am right now. I wouldn't be going to Central Christian College of the Bible... would I? Would I still be out in Utah, desiring to gain worldly things such as wealth and political power? Or would I be celebrating my third Ramadan, a slave to Islam? And secondly, not fully believing would be like slapping God in the face... why would I ever want to do that? What an image, eh? A finite sinner slapping the face of God... how absurd.

I put myself in chains of doubt and anxiety.
Why?
"It's not true."

I am loved.
I am His joy and delight.

And with that... with nine, simple words... this post is meaningless.

After all, I "know" these things.
I need to entirely embrace this knowledge, though. I need to return that love unto Him, and His beloved people, too. Be loved. Love. Be loved. And then love some more. Stop pushing Him away. Stop building walls. Seek Him and strive to be loved "more". To know Him and the perfect love that He has for me... what a beautiful mission.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 187.

Ch. 722 - Footsteps

I desire to follow in His footsteps.

'I will follow the Lamb.'
[My Confession by Misty Edwards]

... What an odd-sounding statement.

Aren't lambs supposed to follow?
He is the Shepherd and and the Lamb.
[Regardless...]
His path is narrow.
Uneven.
Rocky.
Sandy.
But it is well-traveled.

And we have a beautiful Guide to call out to if we stray off the path and need help.

He is the Navigator.
The Compass.
The Light.
The Retriever.

He is Power.
Strength.
Boldness.

He is a risk-taker, even.

I can rest in Him. Take heart and courage... find peace. Yet He also comes to rest in me - His garden. I am His lovely dwelling place. And like any garden gives me joy, I give Him joy and delight.


'The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!" '
[John 1:29]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 178.

Ch. 721 - Thoughts, Pt. Five

Strength.
Follow-through.
Edification.
[Encouragement.]

Prayer.
Worship, always.
Spontaneous praise.

Anoint, Lord God.
Wind.
Rain.
Fire.
Oil.

Isaiah 64:1

King of Glory.
Carpenter from Nazareth.
Lamb of God.
Lion of Judah.
Son of Man.
Of David.

He is alive.
His "story" is true.

Ch. 720 - Thoughts, Pt. Four

The other day I was at a store. I was walking down an aisle. The aisle was neither terribly wide nor narrow. I mean, there were people on either side of me and still a bit of room to spare on the outside edges. Walking towards me were a man and a young girl, presumably his daughter. They were holding hands. Right before they passed us, the man raised his hand that was holding the girl's hand, and used her arm to direct her where to go, walking directly behind her. As the two passed, I looked over my shoulder. The man had momentarily let go of the girl's hand, and then as they turned down another aisle, took it again. This made me think of guidance we sometimes receive from God. He walks beside us. With us. But sometimes the path becomes crowded. Narrow. Dark. Difficult to traverse. And I believe that God wants us to learn how to navigate these paths on our own, at times. I mean, I don't think we should always expect God go to ahead of us, clearing a path and shining a bright light. Sometimes we need to move forward on our own. Of course, He will continue to be with us, but one step behind... so that we can learn. Be guided. Trust. In Him, of course... not ourselves. To build up a reliance upon Him, knowing that He will steer us in the correct or desired direction. And just for a moment, He may let go... but we need not fear or worry. He is always with us.

Ch. 719 - Thoughts, Pt. Three

Psalm 103

My Lord God forgives.
My Lord God heals.
My Lord God redeems.
My Lord God crowns.
My Lord God satisfies.

He is so great.
Who am I to worry?
To "freak out"?
He has a plan.
He knows me.
And He will help me when it is time to do so.
Until then... He continues to listen. Always.

......

'How many... O God?'
Prayers lifted.
Confessions exclaimed.
Hearts changed.
Tears cried.
... Etc.
"Many - even enough... but yours still matter. You still matter."

Floored.

......

Fire... river... flowing from the throne of God.
Desire.

Ch. 718 - Thoughts, Pt. Two

All I need right now is to hear His voice. All I want right now, really. And what I need, then, is to listen and act accordingly to what I hear. I desire to desire Him... does that make sense? I want to be able to say that I am truly running after God because I yearn for Him. I want a mere taste... and then, from that, want nothing else. Nothing less.

Sometimes I just feel so mixed up inside. Angry? Confused? Sad? Anxious? Restless? I just... don't know... I want to be able to sort everything out. I feel as if I needed a jump start in order to do so.

[Trapped.]

I need... peace.
... joy.
... a calm.
I don't know how else to describe it... but I feel that fits pretty well.

Praise God, always.

Psalm 69:9
Psalm 73:25-26
Psalm 78:8

Ch. 717 - Thoughts, Pt. One

The following five posts came from my journal on the dates given and were all written while in the Wind and Fire prayer room here in Iowa. I love this place. But I love His presence in this place even more. The ministry of W&F is so anointed and I have so greatly enjoyed learning about what they do from one of the staff members, "Mama" Jane. She has been such an encouragement and a blessing to me over the summer.

......

I am His.
He is mine.

His beauty radiates from the throne.
Confession brings His presence.
He wants to give us mercy.
And peace.
And joy.
And healing.

Sometimes what we want to do so greatly is difficult to do.

FOCUS.

Cover me with the blood of the Lamb, Lord God.
Open my eyes.
Ears.
Spirit.
Heart.
Mind.
... only to receive things of You.

Saving grace has been extended to me.
I'd be a fool not to accept it day after day.

What more can I give?
I give You my praise, all my days... all my days.

Rest.
Reconnect.

2 Corinthians 3:17-18

Ch. 716 - In His Presence

"In Your presence, all fear is gone... in Your presence.
In Your presence, is where I belong... in Your presence."

We sang this in church this morning. It's part of a song, but it's the only part we sang. ... And I am so glad.

I was overwhelmed with His presence.
I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what to say.
I didn't know what to think.
So I just stood there.
Eyes closed.
Arms out.
Soaking.
Gazing upon His throne, radiant light shining upon my face.

Peace.
A silent joy.

Drifting thoughts about the Lamb.
His death.
His resurrection.
Victory.

His Father.

Heaven.

Heaven... our true home.
"Until He returns... or calls me home..."

Home.
Sometimes I feel like even though I am here in Iowa, with my family, I am not home. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a home. That I don't belong anywhere.

Heaven.
'That' is heavenly.
'This' is like heaven on earth.
"Is this heaven?"
... "No, it's Iowa."

I think, however, that I have finally found heaven on earth.

I am at home in His presence.
And that's all that matters.

......

Spirit-filled.
Ears covered.
Ears opened.
Lies.
Still dirty.
But refreshed.
It's a start.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 161.

Ch. 715 - Perfect

The perfect Christian...

- is real.
- uses witty comments about the Church for their Facebook status...
... or writes "Christian" blog posts... better yet, how about both?
- thinks outside the box - and doesn't put God in one.
- is missions-minded.
- memorizes hundreds of Bible verses.
- realizes what their spiritual gifts are and utilizes them.
- prays all the time...
... and when they do, they close their eyes, bow their heads, and put on a nice, little smile.
- is humble.
- may or may not die for Christ.
- stands up for their beliefs.
- encompasses all the fruits of the Spirit...
... or, at the very least, actually knows what they are.
- points out the sins of others "in Christian love".
- knows they are saved.
- only listens to Christian music.
- is involved with [a] ministry.
- has attended, attends, or will attend a Bible college.
- shines the light of Jesus Christ.
- goes to church every Sunday...
... and Bible study. And small group. Plus the small group that they lead. And church choir. And women's group/men's group. And is on at least two church committees.
- constantly strives to be more like Christ.
- confesses their sins to others.
- reads their Bible.
- loves God.
- loves their neighbors as him or herself.
- does not sin. Oh wait...
... that's not possible.

Well.
I guess nobody's a perfect Christian.
Dang.
I suppose I should apologize for disappointing the multitude that thinks they are.
Sorry. But you're not.
So get off your high horse.
Perhaps you should get down on your knees.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 157.

Ch. 714 - "Tiaka..."

I haven't published a post for the last two weeks for a number of reasons. Those reasons don't matter, nor do my writings. It's not a big deal. I've been writing in a notebook now and then, in addition to the random notations I jot down in my blank page journal that I tote everywhere. Man that thing is great... Anyway, I haven't decided whether I'm going to use any of those writings for future posts. Probably not.

To be completely honest, I don't think I'm going to write any posts for the remainder of the summer. That's another decision I have yet to make. I'm on the verge of being swept into a new season of my life and I really think it needs to be a time of little to no "technological communication". No texting. No Facebook. No Blogspot. No computer, really, except for when I need it to do something for my online courses I'm taking this summer. I just want to unplug. And I think I'd be able to do so quite easily, to tell you the truth. For others, I know it'd be incredibly difficult. Even teachers at school are noted for being tech-savvy and "with it" to such a great degree that they are constantly checking their smart phones with every vibration or ding that come from the devices. Sad. Necessary? At times, perhaps. But still... sad.

A few weeks ago I went down to IHOP-KC with a friend. The moment we arrived, my friend went into the café in search of an electrical outlet for his computer. And then he started to freak out because his phone was about to die and he didn't have his charger. He began to ask others in the café if they had an iPhone charger. Once he found someone who did, I knew that was it... he would be plugged into the wall for the entire time we were there. He only went into the prayer room when the café had closed, and it was too dark/cool outside to stay there any longer. I was pretty disappointed. Not with him, mind you - but for him. If only he could have fully realized what he was missing out on. What really got me was something he said at the beginning of our time at IHOP. He mentioned that he was upset because he felt the need to be able to be connected to people at all times.

Calls. Texts. Twitter. Emails. Skype.

Do we truly need to be "on the grid" at all times? ... I don't think so. To each his own, I suppose. But I feel that it's important to be on the grid with the One who matters most... constantly listening, watching, and waiting for something from Him.

Messages. Revelations. Truths.

Wait for Him.

That is one of the greatest things - if not the greatest - that I learned this past year. Sometimes that is the best thing we could ever do. Simply wait for God.

And trust that He will show up.
Trust that He will answer.
Trust that He will help.
Trust that He will guide.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 155.

Ch. 713 - All I Have

'Praise the Lord, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy
name.'
[Psalm 103:1]

To praise our Lord God with all our inmost being... what an incredulous thing. Do we truly let ourselves do that, though? I know at times, that's all I want to do. But I hold myself back. Containment. Why?

As much as I love to just put my thoughts out there and go on to the next thing [or post, in this case - seeing how I'm behind a couple days...], I can't answer this question right now. I need time to think about it... and decide what, if anything, I want to say.

But God is good.
And He does deserve to be praised with everything we have.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 143.

Ch. 712 - Triumphant Praise

TRIUMPH.
VICTORY.

The enemy has been defeated.
He has overcome sin and the grave.

PRAISE.
REJOICE!

We have been given freedom.


'When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth - Gog and Magog - to gather them for battle. In number they are like the sand on the seashore. They marched across the breadth of the earth and surrounded the camp of God's people, the city he loves. But fire came down from heaven and devoured them. And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown in to the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.'
[Revelation 20:7-10]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 132.

Ch. 711 - Something

God works in mysterious ways.

How many times have you heard that throughout your life?

Probably a lot.
Because it's true.

He does.

And I'm glad.
It keeps us on our toes.

We paint pictures of Him in our minds with glory and wonder.

Who knows what He will do tomorrow?
Or the next day?
Or the next?

Something big.
Something beautiful.
Something.


'Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.'
[Ephesians 1:3]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 131.

Ch. 710 - Summer Excitement

One week... I decided not to play catch-up. It's all good.

My second - and second to last - year at Central Christian College of the Bible came to a close this past Wednesday, as I rounded out my last day with two finals. They were the toughest of my five, and I got a high 'A' on each. Fabulous. But I can really only attribute my successes to God, for He blessed me with the abilities and skills necessary to do well. I simply put them to use. If you try to pound a nail into a piece of wood without a hammer, it's not exactly going to work. Using your hand won't do anything. And using something other than a hammer may work, but it's really just not the same. While it's nice to see or hear acknowledgment for doing well on something, I can't pretend like I truly deserve anything. Glory to God, in all things great and small.

Summer has begun, and I don't know how to feel about it...

Two jobs.
Two classes.
Two churches [more on this later...].

I plan on spending a lot of time with my brother, Wes - he just finished his first year of college and I am really proud of him. Anyway, we have dubbed the next few months S²'10:

SIBLING SUMMER 2010!

So great.
We're stoked.
We've started making a list of things we plan on doing, and without a doubt more "to-do" items will be added to it within the next week or two.

I think what I'm most excited about this summer, though, is the fact that I plan on falling more and more in love with Christ. I ended the school year on a positive note in regards to my relationship with Him, but I'm... fine. Just... fine.

I want to be better than fine.
And I want to be stepping forward, not standing still.

Lately I've been getting myself down... and I let myself be kept there by the prince of this world - and I am [obviously] pretty okay with that. It's easy... I mean, it's not necessarily good for those around me, but for me? It's comfortable. I can make it work. Of course, I tend to mess things up pretty terribly when I get into this state. Mistakes. Regrets. But sometimes I feel like I really just don't like myself. So I wonder how anyone else could ever like me, let alone love me. Of course, I know my flaws. I tend to see myself in a negative light. I am, truly, an animal. And so I figure that I deserve to be where I am. I deserve to allow myself to think of ME the way I do. But as someone very dear to my heart told me today, "We're all going to have things we are striving to improve in ourselves. We can't dwell in the negative. That's the adversary trying to keep us down. We have to remember our worth in Christ."

Beautiful.

As is Christ.
As am I.

Valuation.
That is my focus for the summer.
For myself.
For others.
For God.


'Let the morning bring me word of your
unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.'
[Psalm 143:8-10]

......

Ch. 710, Part Two:

One definition of "valuation" in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is the following: 'judgment or appreciation of worth or character'.

Now you know.

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 130.

Ch. 709 - Missions Kid

I have been dubbed one of the "missions kids" here at Central, basically because Mike Worstell always picked on me [Spock] in classes, and I've done skits for Harvesters during chapel. Awesome.

But I don't mind. Because it's true... I plan on doing missions. And I'm totally stoked. I'm going to the Middle East next summer for my internship and I could not be more excited to get some great hands-on experience and see what life is like as a missionary in the Middle East. I don't know what to expect. I mean, I kind of do - I'm learned in the culture, history, religions, etc. of the region... oh research, how I love thee. But research pales in comparison to actually living amongst it all. Seeing it. Hearing it. Feeling it. Tasting it. Smelling it. I'm sure each day will bring new surprises - pleasant or unpleasant - and unexpected twists or turns. I'll be glad for these, though.

Proclaim His name. Share His love.
That's what I desire to do.
Wherever He calls me, I will go.
Am I ready? No.
But I have time.
And God will prepare me.


'Give thanks to the Lord, call on his
name;
make known among the nations
what he has done.
Sing to him, sing praise to him;
tell of all his wonderful acts.'
[Psalm 105:1-2]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 126.

Ch. 708 - The Blessed Hope

'For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope - the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.'
[Titus 2:11-14]

Do we say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions?
Do we live self-controlled, upright and godly lives?
Are we eager to do what is good?

Do we even remember that at while we are living... at this very moment, truly... we are waiting for the "glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ"?

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 104.

Ch. 707 - Surrounded

Warmth.
Comfort.
Natural beauty.

Humor, too.
Simplistic humor - not even of man.
Wordless.

God, oh God.
You are truly everywhere.


'If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.'
[Psalm 139:8]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 94.

Ch. 706 - Friendship

'And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.'
[1 Samuel 20:17]

... I think we should all desire to have friendships that resemble the friendship between Jonathan and David. They represent a true model for loving others [as yourself] and I consider that beautiful...

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 89.

Ch. 705 - Thankful for Joy

Joy.

A pouring out of the Spirit.
Anointed.
Blessed.

Made new.
Made clean.

Refined.

Focused on His throne.

Joy.


'Light is shed upon the righteous
and joy on the upright in heart.
Rejoice in the Lord, you who are
righteous,
and praise his holy name.'
[Psalm 97:11-12]

......

Click here to revisit Chapter 78.

Ch. 704 - In Love

Sometimes it is absolutely wonderful to spend time alone.

Today I went on a walk.
Alone.
And it was lovely. Just lovely.
The sun was shining, a slight breeze cooled the air.
Tree leaves have budded.
Grass is lush and green.
Flowers are blooming.

[I love spring.]

I was completely captivated by God's beautiful creation.
Romanced.

I may have been physically alone.
But I was walking with my Lord God, and I was so glad for His company... His presence. It was simply pleasant. A comfort.

He loves me.
And I love Him.
But more than that, I am in love with Him.

He delights in me.

" 'See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their
fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me." '
[Song of Songs, 2:11-13]

......

Ch. 704, Part Two:

So. Kind of random, but... if you've followed this blog at all, you'll know that I have, at times, used Bible verses as a post.

That's it.
Words from the Bible.
No thoughts.
Insights.
Revelations.
Just words.
I figure, 'Sometimes that's all you need, you know?'

But I myself call those posts "cop-outs".

There have been multiple days in a row, even, where I do this. And the reasons as to why vary. I used to simply not care. Yet as I look back on random posts, I realize how greatly it bothers me...

Three cheers for OCD!

Thus, I have decided to go back throughout the blog and edit those posts. I will add to them whatever comes to mind as I read those verses which I had [usually] hurriedly typed down as I played catch-up or whatever.

I'm totally stoked to do this, actually, because it'll be good to have one more interjection in my day to get into God's word.

For each day I write a new post - no more simple Bible verse posts from here on out - I will go back and edit one post, until there are no more posts with only Bible verses. What a fabulous plan. I'm so great. And humble.

Click here to revisit Chapter 29.

Ch. 703 - I had to.

Lover of my soul.
Creator of my heart.
Beautiful is He.
And beautiful am I.

He can do great things.

All it takes is a breath.

Life.
Renewal.
Thirst, quenched.
Hunger, satiated.

Zeal.
Strength.
A new perspective.

Made alive.

The Lord Himself will proclaim and declare His greatness.
Are our eyes and ears open?


'Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.
For you, O Lord, have delivered my
soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before the Lord
in the land of the living.'
[Psalm 116:7-9]

Ch. 702 - Fire in the Night

'Praise the Lord, all you servants of the
Lord
who minister by night in the house
of the Lord.
Lift up your hands in the sanctuary
and praise the Lord.
May the Lord, the Maker of heaven and
earth,
bless you from Zion.'
[Psalm 134]

Who is to say that we should only praise our God during the day?

Night brings many things.
Darkness.
Sleep.
"The witching hour."
Sin.
Scheming.
Etc.

I think IHOP is doing it right...
And no, I'm not talking about the pancake place.
I mean the International House of Prayer.
The concept of 24/7 worship and intercessory prayer is wonderful and it has brought so much good and hope and change into the lives of people all around the world.

Note: IHOP has a "Fire in the Night" period for those who spend time praising and praying during the late night hours [between midnight and 6:00 AM]. And there truly is something freeing and beautiful in doing exactly that. One of my friends at school is transferring to IHOP next spring to become a Fire in the Night intern, and I must admit... I am extremely envious.

Ch. 701 - People are Good

'Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." '
[Matthew 26:36-38]

Jesus brought Peter, James, and John with Him to the garden at Gethsemane, and on their way Jesus began to be grieved and distressed. I believe this verse shows the humanity of Jesus, and also teaches us how to live in one aspect. Even though Jesus knew He was going to die in obedience for our salvation, He was at a vulnerable, weak moment in His life. Jesus’ bringing His three closest disciples reveals that we were created as relational beings. I sense a feeling of dependency on these three during this moment in Jesus’ life; I believe that we should realize we can turn to our brothers and sisters in Christ for help and support, in addition to turning to God.

Note to self: There are so many good people in this world.
Not everyone I come to face is "evil" or careless.
I should not be so terribly critical.
I simply distance myself in doing so and that is not a good thing.

Ch. 700 - Zeal

'Do not let your heart envy sinners,
but always be zealous for the fear of
the Lord.'
[Proverb 23:17]

How often do we think about our fear - or lack thereof - of God?
Just a thought.

Ch. 699 - Anchor For the Soul

'We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.'
[Hebrews 6:19-20]

Unlike high priests of the past, who could only enter God’s presence occasionally, Jesus entered into heaven and is continually in His presence. Jesus only had to offer His sacrifice once, gaining eternal redemption for all who come to God through Him. His sacrifice and selection as High Priest has displaced all ways of the Law. Jesus is now the intercessor for God’s people, for His blood has covered their sins. Praise and thankfulness is due to this great High Priest. Oh, how blessed I am!

Ch. 698 - To Glory in Christ

'...for we are the true circumcision, who worship in the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh...'
[Philippians 3:3, NASB]

Glory [verb] - to rejoice proudly.
I appreciate this.
Greatly.

Ch. 697 - Shame

I tend to withdraw from people whom I feel I have wronged in any way. If I begin to feel humiliated or ashamed by my words or actions towards someone, I do not desire to spend time with them, even if they don't realize how I feel... if they think nothing of it... or if they immediately say something along the lines of, "Hey it's okay... No big deal. I forgive you!"

It's even worse when I feel ashamed because of my words or actions toward my Lord God... what a terrible feeling. Yet He is even quicker to say, "I forgive you!" than those around me. He loves me so greatly. And letting myself feel ashamed only distances me from God and that love. Guilt and shame are destructive. Feeling loved and worthy of Him builds me up and encourages me to deepen my relationship with Him.

God is so good.


' "Even now," declares the Lord, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning." Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.'
[Joel 2:12-13]

Again, context... see what Bible college does to you?
Whatever. I'm over it.

Ch. 696 - Bread

'Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." '
[John 6:35]

I think if Jesus were a type of bread, He would be WonderBread.
Wheat bread, though... none of that white bread crap.
... Stupid white-Jesus paintings...

Ch. 695 - What do I experience?

' "The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it, that its deeds are evil." '
[John 7:7, NASB]

'A true born-again believer who is living a life for God's glory should experience the hatred and antagonism of the world.'
- John MacArthur

Ch. 694 - Chosen

He makes all things new.
He keeps all of His promises.

This is the God that gave me life.

He has given me purpose.
He has great plans for me.

I can only imagine what He will have me do for Him in the future.


' "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name." '
[John 15:16]

Ch. 693 - Things Above

Understanding displaces prejudice.

Fear.

We need to abandon preconceived notions if we truly desire to reach out to [all] God's children. Letting ourselves rest in our false thoughts does much harm. I think that often, we don't even create the thoughts ourselves. Rather they are created by others and placed in our minds through various mediums.

It's time to take control.

Cleanse.


'For God does not show favoritism.'
[Romans 2:11]

Mehhh, context...

But seriously. God doesn't, neither should we. We should accept others in an incredibly just manner. Equality.

Ch. 692 - I ain't broke.

"If it ain't broke... don't fix it."

But what if 'it' is broke?
Then what?

I mean, who does the fixing?
What tools are needed?
How long will it take?
Will it cost a lot?
What changes will occur?
What will remain the same?

Legitimate questions.
But do they matter?

As long as 'it' can be fixed, and continue once again to be used for the purpose it was created for, then the recreation or restoration process should be the least of worries... right?

I'm not so sure about that.


' "Praise be to the Lord, who has given rest to his people Israel just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses." '
[1 Kings 8:56]

Oh yeah. Breaking out the OT. Read through some of 1 Kings today... this jumped out at me. Three cheers.

Ch. 691 - Capacity

Before class this morning I began my day by praying in the gym.

Lord God.

Chapel.
People.
Hearts.
Change.

Jesus Christ.

Peace.
Fruit.
Power.

Holy Spirit.

Hope.
Time.

The Church.

Joy.

Me.

My mind was racing, my heart was pounding.

Even though I felt as if a million and one thoughts were running through my mind, I felt as if they all centered around a single theme: love.

My love for God.
My love for others.
God's love for me.
God's love for others.
The body's love for God.
The body's love for others.
And so it goes on...

I've come to realize that sometimes, throughout the day, all I pray for is love.
More love.

What I really desire is for us to love God more.

'Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment."
[Matthew 22:37-38]

How often are we asked, "Do you truly obey the greatest commandment?"

Or how often do we hear, "You know... it all comes down to love. That's what it's all about!"

So this morning, as I'm praying and "love" recycles itself through my thoughts, I hear the following line from the song All Consuming Fire by Misty Edwards:

'Let us fall more in love with You.'

Oh, the joys of putting the iPod on shuffle: what a pleasant surprise...

When I heard that line, I just stopped.
I was overcome with the weight of the Presence.
I doubled over.
['Whoa.']

Unexpected.
But welcomed.

That's a heaviness on your heart that you should never want lifted.

No restraint.
Freedom in the Spirit.
All out of love, and the desire of love for God from others.

Desires from within that I'm not even fully aware of, made known to God.

Is that truly such a terrible thing?
[What are people so afraid of?]

God is listening.
"It's not time.
... They're not ready."
But He is listening.

Before all else, we need to increase our capacity to love.

Devotion.
Adoration.

Ask for more.
Love God.

Acceptance of self.
Love of self.

Ask for more.
Love God.

Acceptance of others.
Love of others.

Ask for more.
Love God.
Ask for more.

Ch. 690 - Voice Through Words

The following is part of a "Weekly Wisdom" from a daily Bible verse site. It's pretty redundant... but it's good in that it gets a fantastic point across.

'John 8:31-32 says, 'To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."'

If we hold to His teaching, meaning live in it, abide in it, and follow it, then we will know the truth. That's exactly the way hearing from God works. When we abide in his word, we will know his voice, which is truth.

All of scripture is God talking to His people. Thus, in order to hear from God, you must know scripture. God has given us scripture, and He calls it His word. It is the word of God. So how do you know God's talking to you? It is His word that He talks through.'

Ch. 689 - Nourishment

Sometimes I find myself overcome with anxious thoughts about the fact that it seems like we simply do not get it. What's more, sometimes it seems like we simply cannot get it - and we never will.

Pray for hope.


'Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.'
[Proverbs 3:7-8]

Ch. 688 - Transition Preparation

It's getting to be that time of year again...
School's out in less than a month.
[Twelve days of class. Three days of finals.]

I'm stoked.
I can't wait for summer break.
At the same time, part of me wants to just stay in school without long breaks so that I can be finished earlier. Oh well.

Anyway, these next four weeks are going to be the most difficult weeks of the whole school year. I must focus. Want to know the crazy part? I'm not even talking about focusing in regards to academics. Awesome, huh? That's right, I'm talking about focusing on something even more important: Jesuuuuuus. This is a very critical time. If you're not staying on the path in your walk with God before summer... well... it's just not good. Even here at Bible college... "surrounded" by fellow believers, a community - it can be difficult to be strong in your walk. Spending time with God is a total necessity, yet it gets blown off day after day.

Pray.
Read.
Reflect.
Meditate.
Journal.
Service.

Holiness.

I don't care if it's required or not. If you're not doing these things now, with accountability and support from brothers and sisters in Christ all around you, it could possibly be darn hard to do these things when at home... where you may have few to zero family members or friends who are believers. So really, we need to not only be working hard up until the last day of school academically, but also in the strengthening of our obedience, discipline, etc. We really should have a 'now or never' mindset, in my opinion, continually.

God may not need us, but man oh man do we need Him.


'As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do...'
[1 Peter 1:14-15]

Ch. 687 - Highest Praise

'To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy - to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.'
[Jude 24-25]

Oh, to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
Oh, the goodness and grace of God the Father.

Thankfulness abounds.

Ch. 686 - I refuse.

I am so glad that I am in Bible college right now...


'I do not sit with deceitful men,
nor do I consort with hypocrites;
I abhor the assembly of evildoers
and refuse to sit with the wicked.
I wash my hands in innocence,
and go about your altar, O Lord,
proclaiming aloud your praise
and telling of all your wonderful deeds.'
[Psalm 26:4-7]

Ch. 685 - Picturesque

I spent some time at a park today. I was simply enjoying the beautiful weather and catching up on some reading for a class. At one point I heard a vehicle pull into the parking lot. I kept reading, but the sound of laughter soon filled the small park and I looked up to see a woman and two children. The woman was carrying a blanket and a small cooler. She and one of the children, a girl about four of five years old, spread out the blanket in the shade of a large tree. The other child, a boy about two years old, walked away from them and explored the playground area. He started to run towards a small, open field, looking over his shoulder now and then to the woman, whom I was watching. I noticed that even though she was talking with the girl and starting to take food and drinks out of the cooler, she periodically glanced over to the field where the boy was now running in constant circles. But suddenly he stopped, and without having to be chased down or called over, he dawdled over to the blanket where the woman and girl were sitting. The woman opened her arms and he ran the rest of the way, nestling - forcefully, I might add, as a result of the momentum - into her arms. And as they began to eat their picnic lunch, I resumed my reading with a smile on my face.

I was really thankful to have witnessed this casual occurrence.
I mean, it was simply a picnic in the park.

But I felt like God was reminding that even though I go "off on my own" now and then, or even run away from where I seemingly should be, I cannot truly run away from God. He is ever-watchful. There is no hiding from Him. And because He certainly does have a hand on my life, I will always return to Him eventually.

Because He provides for me.
Because He protects me.
Because He encourages me.
Because He guides me.
Because He loves me.

He welcomes me with open arms.


'But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love...'
[Psalm 33:18]

Ch. 684 - Transparency

Two weeks.

Two weeks of "silence".
Two weeks of thinking.
Letting my mind wander, really.
Two weeks of time to myself.
Two weeks of... well... Godlessness.

And I'm okay with that.
Should I be?
Probably not.

......
I am tired.
......

Needless to say, it's time to turn back around.
God is waiting for me.


' "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." '
[Matthew 11:28-30]

......

Ch. 684, Part Two:

This is incredibly hard for me, but...
Help. Please.
Just... pray.
Or if you're at Central, help me break down my walls.
If you think I'm intimidating, try to get past that.
Find me.
Come chat.
Man. Something.
Anything.
Please. Help.

Ch. 683 - Onward

"It's always darkest before dawn."

There is certainly more than a sliver of truth to this well-known saying. And I certainly have no problem believing that sometimes it takes us falling down to the lowest place possible before we realize how greatly we need Him.


'Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.'
[Isaiah 26:8]

Ch. 682 - Provoked

' "But you did not listen to me," declares the Lord, "and you have provoked me with what your hands have made, and you have brought harm to yourselves." '
[Jeremiah 25:7]

... I do not even want to begin to imagine what provoking the Lord could possibly bring. Just sayin'.

Ch. 681 - Steady

And I will praise You
up on the mountain...
down in the valley...
I will meet with You, God.


'Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.'
[Psalm 145:3]

Ch. 680 - MY Way or... ?

Worship is worship is worship.

What matters most is the heart and its intention behind the worship.

I should not, then, feel bothered when I am told where I have to sit, what I have to pray, which songs I have to sing... etc.

Yet I do.

[And of course, I don't "have" to do any of these things.]

I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't bother me. I know this needs to change. But if I have such a freedom to openly praise and worship my Lord God with my brothers and sisters in Christ, I am going to take full advantage of said freedom and worship Him the way I desire, even within a congregational context. Is that truly so wrong?

Open.
Observant.

Expectant.

Weighted down with the Presence.
Whispering words of love to my Lord God.

Spirit.

There's more.
So much more.
But it's personal.
"Me and God."
You understand... right?
It's okay if you don't.
I mean, I'm at a Bible college.
Surrounded by people just like myself.
So at the very least, I'm sure they understand.
... Right.


'Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;'
[Psalm 95:6]

Ch. 679 - Obey and Rest

"Rest in My peace."

... Easier said than done.

I didn't want to.
So I walked away.
Too much work on my plate.

"Rest in My peace."

I didn't want to.
So I picked up the pace.
Too many thoughts on my mind.

"Rest in My peace."

I didn't want to.
So I started to run.
Too much weight on my shoulders.

You know what?
It can be quite difficult to run when you feel like you've got the world on your shoulders.

"Rest. Be with me."

So I stopped.
How could I not?

I turned my gaze to the throne of God.
Heart.
Mind.
Spirit.

Adoration.

He freely offers so much.
Step up to His table.

Presence.
Absolute immersion.

......

"My soul sings, my soul sings, my soul sings how I love You."

"Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee, how great Thou art."

......

Inexpressible desires. Needs. Hurts. Prayers.
True freedom.
Given through the worshiping of His Spirit by my own.

He is praiseworthy.

GLORY.

Love Him.
Listen to Him.
Obey Him.

"Rest in My peace."

Refreshed.


'Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.'
[Psalm 139:7,9-10,23-24]

Ch. 678 - Love and Perseverance

Five days. No big deal.

A verse to get back into the swing of things...

'May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.'
[2 Thessalonians 3:5]

Ch. 677 - Sincerity of Giving

'Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything - all she had to live on." '
[Mark 12:41-44]

A poor widow put two coins, all she had, into the treasury. Jesus commended her for doing so because she gave our of her poverty. God sees into our hearts. As the great Judge, Jesus knows how and why we do or say anything. God has given us so much; we are called to be good and faithful stewards of what we have been given. As God is the Provider of our needs, we shouldn't be hesitant to give generously to Him - this doesn't mean our gift to Him needs to be large. He doesn't judge by a gift's size, but by its sincerity.

Ch. 676 - A Yearning

'My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you. When your judgments come upon the earth, the people of the world learn righteousness.'
[Isaiah 26:9]

There is a lot that could be said regarding this verse. For one thing, dichotomists and trichotomists could have a field day debating over the mentioning of both soul and spirit. But I'm not about to open that can of worms. I would much rather emphasize the use of yearning and longing for God. I think that ultimately, He is the desire of our heart of hearts. So naturally, we would long for Him constantly. And I think that is a beautiful realization.

Ch. 675 - Humiliation.

Presuppositions.

It's amazing how simple "vibes", assumptions, and antecedent thoughts can affect a person in regards to what they say and do. Sometimes those presuppositions are made justly, but usually they are not.

Caves.
Why would you go into a cave in the first place?
"Exploration!"

I'll give you that.

But perhaps it's that you want to get away for a bit.
Meditation.
Reflection.

Or maybe you're trying to hide.
Distancing yourself from an "enemy" or simply people...
But they just wait outside.

Either way, you're alone.

Besides, you know what? When thinking of caves in a simplistic manner, you can only leave the way you enter. So eventually, you have to face the reason you entered the cave in the first place.

"Back to reality."

How often do we let ourselves fall into that trap?
Separation.
We burn bridges.
We close doors.
We put up walls.
And we dig ourselves into deep holes.

Why do we place barriers between ourselves and people?

People.

The saved.
The lost.
Strangers.
Acquaintances.
Friends.
Family.

We were made to be relational.

Fellowship.
Community.
Love.

What am I so afraid of?


'A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.'
[Proverb 17:17]

Ch. 674 - Mission: Salvation

JESUS COULD HAVE SAVED HIMSELF.

But He didn't.

People mocked Him, both before and during the time He spent on the cross.
They said He saved others - so why not Himself?

He had said He was going to destroy the temple and raise it in three days, so surely He could come down from the cross.

But He did not come to save Himself, but to give Himself as a ransom for many.

He had a mission, and nothing was going to stop Him from accomplishing it.

He, being fully God, had the power to save Himself... but He loved us too greatly to do so. All glory, honor, and praise are due Him, forever and always.


'Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, "So! You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, come down from the cross and save yourself!" In the same way the chief priests and the teachers of the law mocked him among themselves. "He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself!" '
[Mark 15:29-31]

Ch. 673 - Answers by Faith

' "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." '
[Mark 11:23-24]

Jesus tells us that when we have faith, our prayers will be answered. We are to have no doubt in our hearts. God desires to grant what we pray for- but if we don't believe He can or will answer our prayers, then why should He? The verses following the above passage reminds us to have a spirit of forgiveness when we pray - for if we do not forgive others, we will also not be forgiven our transgressions. We are also reminded of this through the "Lord's Prayer" and as it is a command of Jesus, we should certainly do what He says.

Prayer is powerful.

Ch. 672 - HIS Return

Jesus tells His followers that the gospel will be preached to all the nations and then the end will come [He will return]… but then goes on to say that nobody but the Father knows when that will happen. Sharing the gospel as a testimony will become, I believe, increasingly difficult as time passes and the end of the age approaches. Followers of Christ will be tested and persecuted by adversaries, but they must persevere and stay strong in the Lord God – especially since we don’t know when Christ will return. We need to continually persevere and overcome trials, and prepare our hearts – and those of the lost! – for His coming.


"'And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come."; "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." '
[Matthew 24:14; 36]

Ch. 671 - "Talent"

In Jesus’ parable of the talents, we can learn that we should not grow complacent. We need to take what we’ve received from God and work with it in a responsible, effective manner. The faithful workers will be entrusted with greater things, earning their just reward and praise. There is much work to be done for God’s kingdom. We can’t assume we have all the time in the world to get things done… if we desire for God to truly use us, we need to accomplish our tasks in love and with diligence. Jesus never stopped working, reaching out, or touching the lives of others… neither should we.


' "The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.' "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'; "Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.' "His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed?" '
[Matthew 25:20-21; 24-26]

Ch. 670 - Saved. Sanctified.

For a little over five weeks now I have worn a red bracelet on my left wrist. It is simply a length of red embroidery floss that I wound around my wrist four or five times before tying a knot. The day after I was baptized I had done the same thing, but the color of the floss was green. It symbolized the "new life" I had been baptized into. The red symbolizes the blood of Jesus with which I have been sanctified. The green bracelet fell off after one week. Right after it did, I tied on the red floss. It has not come off my wrist since I tied it on. I like this. Even though I am in this new life, in regards to my time on earth, this life is finite. It won't last. I couldn't have told you whether my life was going to end with the falling off of that first bracelet. But I can, indeed, tell you that our time on earth is short. Yet because of what Jesus did, I have life eternal.

I mean, we have been sanctified by Jesus’ blood. He came as a Sacrifice for our sins, a spotless Lamb, to save man. Yet MAN, after arresting and questioning Him, “decided” to put Him to death. When Jesus was being tried, Pilate, a man of authority, claimed Jesus a righteous Man. Pilate said to the Jews he was innocent of His blood; the people boldly accepted the responsibility for His blood. They were reckless in doing so, because they did not, I’m assuming, consider the consequences that would wait for them if He truly was the Son of God – which He is. The irony of the situation astounds me. Denial of the Truth leads to sin and separation from God. Yet we have the opportunity to be made clean with His blood that He shed for us. What a gift. Eternity awaits us.


'But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowd to ask for Barabbas and to have Jesus executed. "Which of the two do you want me to release to you?" asked the governor. "Barabbas," they answered. "What shall I do, then, with Jesus who is called Christ?" Pilate asked. They all answered, "Crucify him!" "Why? What crime has he committed?" asked Pilate. But they shouted all the louder, "Crucify him!" When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but that instead an uproar was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. "I am innocent of this man's blood," he said. "It is your responsibility!" All the people answered, "Let his blood be on us and on our children!" '
[Matthew 27:20-25]

Ch. 669 - Gutted.

Back.

I simply... didn't feel like posting.
So I didn't.

......

"Only one word comes to mind.
There's only one word to describe...
... There is no one like You,
You are holy... holy."
[Holy by Matt Gilman & Cory Asbury]

God is holy.
His Son is Lord.
His Spirit lives in us.

He speaks.
He lives.
He is near.

So why do we worship Him as if He is silent, dead, and far away?
... That is, if we worship Him at all...


'For this God is our God for ever and
ever;
he will be our guide even to the end.'
[Psalm 48:14]

'My salvation and my honor depend on
God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge. Selah.'
[Psalm 62:7-8]

Ch. 682 - Provoked

' "But you did not listen to me," declares the Lord, "and you have provoked me with what your hands have made, and you have brought harm to yourselves." '
[Jeremiah 25:7]

Okay, in all honesty... I don't think I even want to attempt to imagine what a provoking of the Lord would bring upon me. Frightening.

Ch. 668 - "Incline Your Ear"

' "Thus has the Lord of hosts said, 'Dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother...' " '
[Zechariah 7:9, NASB]

' "And just as He called and they would not listen, so they called and I would not listen," says the Lord of hosts.'
[Zechariah 7:13, NASB]

I am so thankful that God turns His ear to me continually... even when I do not take the time to turn my ear to Him. And for the most part, that's technically fine. God loves me no more. God loves me no less. But this doesn't mean that I should not feel it necessary to do so. It's one more way to strengthen my obedience to Him. And by listening to Him, God will teach me how He wants me to "dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion" to my brothers and sisters - as well as nonbelievers.

Ch. 667 - People Get Ready

How can something meant to be uplifting be so very disheartening?

Even through the praise and glorification, I come to be discouraged. My heart breaks. Do they have any idea of what they're missing out on? I honestly have no clue. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it's difficult to do so.

WAKE UP!

Distraught.
That is what I am.
Distraught.


'He who testifies to these things says,'
"Yes, I am coming soon."
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen.'
[Revelation 22:20-21]

Ch. 666 - Number

'This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666.'
[Revelation 13:18]

Haaahahahahahahaha.

I couldn't resist.

Forgive me.

Ch. 665 - Unclean Spirits

'... say to those with fearful hearts,
"Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
he will come to save you." '
[Isaiah 35:4]

Ch. 664 - God of Glory

Ascribe to the Lord, O mighty ones,
ascribe to the Lord glory and
strength.
Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his
name;
worship the Lord in the splendor of
his holiness.

The voice of the Lord is over the
waters;
the God of glory thunders,
the Lord thunders over the mighty
waters.
The voice of the Lord is powerful
the voice of the Lord is majestic.
[Psalm 29:1-4]

Ch. 663 - Heart Cry

'My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, Lord, I will seek.'
[Psalm 27:8]

Ch. 662 - Able

My God is an able God.

It's never a question of whether He can do something, but rather a question of whether He will do something, according to His timing and plan.


'A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, "If you are willing, you can make me clean." Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" '
[Mark 1:40-41]

Ch. 661 - A Clean Heart

We need a fresh touch of the Spirit.

Everywhere the River flows, there is Life.

Fruit will be produced.

It starts with the heart.
Removal of toxins.
Confession.
Repentance.

Say "Yes."


' "Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean.'" '
[Mark 7:15]

Ch. 660 - He is Willing

EXPECTANT.

Like never before, I feel.
Confident.
Assured.
Familiar.

At home, really, standing in the Presence...

Shekinah glory, come down.

Ready.
Waiting.
Blessed.
Free.

To be filled entirely... what a desire.

And He is more than willing to grant us these desires.

He gives freely.
Out of love.
Out of grace.

There is no limit.
There is total abundance of what He offers.

No comprehension.

......

'Come with power.'

"I'm already here."


'I will praise you forever for what you
have done;
in your name I will hope, for your
name is good.
I will praise you in the presence of
your saints.'
[Psalm 52:9]

Ch. 659 - Dissension and Gossip

'A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.'
[Proverb 16:28]

Gossip separates people, period...

Ch. 658 - Without Hindrance

'Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.'
[Habakkuk 3:17-18]

Ch. 657 - Opportunity

'Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" '
[John 11:40]

Glory.
How do we see the glory of God in our day-to-day lives?

Think.

Ch. 656 - Lord

Listen to God.
Obey.
You will be blessed.
He makes things entirely right.


'For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.'
[2 Samuel 22:32-33]

Ch. 655 - Vessels

God and man.
Potter and clay.

I like this.
A lot.

Overused?
Not to me.

We truly are like clay.
The transformation of clay into pots is involved.

The clay needs to be refined.
The removal of impurities takes time.
Water gives life to clay. Makes it pliable.
A solid base is given to each pot. Stability to build upon.
The clay is molded by hands into the form the potter desires.
No pot is the same, even though they all come from the ground.
If the pot is not coming along the way the potter imagined, the potter will break it down and start anew. There is no hurry. Even though no pot turns out to be perfect, each is perfect in the eyes of the potter.

Each pot is unique.
Traits.
Character.

But they are made to be used.
Filled.
Poured out.
Filled.
Poured out.

Be thankful that you do not sit on a shelf as a dry, decorated vessel.
For what good is a pot that remains empty and still all of its days?


' "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the Lord. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel." '
[Jeremiah 18:6]

Ch. 654 - Constant

'I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.'
[Psalm 69:30]

This verse often convicts me in regards to the fact that we do not do either of these things. At least not in sincerity, with a pure heart - and certainly not often enough.

Ch. 653 - Garden

I am a daughter of the Gardener.

'I am not my own, I am Your garden.'
[Garden by Misty Edwards]
He planted me in fertile soil. He dug a hole of perfect depth for me so that I could easily and strongly take root. He then gently, yet firmly packed the soil around me. He daily tends to me. He has given me nourishment and water, making sure I receive the appropriate amount of light. He has hedged me in so that no predator can harm me or pluck me from my home within the ground. Over time, I have grown and truly flourished. He has pruned me periodically and I have thus borne flowers. Fruit. I would not be alive if it were not for His tenderness in caring for me.

I am beautiful.
My Lord God loves me.
And I, Him.


'But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever.'
[Psalm 52:8]

Ch. 652 - Reality Check

What a night...

I know I've said this before, but: I think often we get too caught up in what's going on in the 'here and now' with ME, ME, ME... so we forget about the big picture. And how it should be about GOD, GOD, GOD... and THEM, THEM, THEM.

Life is good.
Life is great.
God is good.
God is great.

Joy.
Hope.
Clarity.
Renewal.
Blessings.

God-highs... gah.
I've been on a definite God-high for about a month now.
And it's been fantastic. I've loved every minute of it.

I've done my best to not focus entirely inwards. And while I have spent time thinking and praying about other people, I feel that it's not enough. I've tried to share what God has given me. But sometimes I feel like an absolute failure. Do people know I truly care about them? Are my spoken words empty? Meaningless? Do I ask God for an awareness of the needs and feelings of others? Am I following the Holy Spirit's promptings towards my brothers and sisters? Or the promptings towards nonbelievers? Do I even want to be aware or sensitive?

Each day I pass people who put a smile on their face, while on the inside their hearts are breaking. Each day I pass people who are leading a group in laughter, but they'd rather weep or cry out in anger. We see joy, they feel bitterness. But they want to seem strong. "Okay." "Fine." Even "Good!" or "Great!" And just to ward off possible questions of greater depth, they tack on the exclamation that "God is so good, man!" But they can't really expound on why He is "so good" because they've got homework [or so they say...] and they'll have to catch you later.

Sad.

Sometimes we have no idea.
For one thing, they aren't willing to let people in.
And another, we aren't willing to chip away at their walls.
It would be done with gentleness and respect, of course.
But if we don't work at it, no progress will be made.

They'll remain shut up, surrounded by numerous defenses that sometimes they don't even mean to construct. So how do they get there? The world puts them there.

The world says this is a cold, hard place.
The world says nobody really cares.
The world says we can't get from here to there with merely an unseen God.

The world is wrong. How can we let ourselves be so greatly deceived? Oh, well... "the great deceiver", the devil, can have a stronghold on us [if we let him]. But in contrast to God, he has nothing. The power of God greatly surpasses the power of our enemy. And he is not loving, or just, or kind, or merciful... and he truly has no authority in our lives.

The world should not dictate whether we reach out to our brothers and sisters in Christ's love - or, as someone being reached out to, whether we grasp their outstretched hands. We can't assume that just because someone is a fellow believer everything is fine. We all have our battles. There's nothing wrong with asking if someone would be willing to be an ally. Trust in God, yes. But trust people, too. Man is not entirely evil. I know that I have always struggled with thinking other people are heartless. I've always been very critical and hard on people. That is changing more and more each day, it seems. Some days I learn more than others, and those are the days I deem "bad" or "difficult" - yet when I sit down at the end of the day and reflect, I see God was at work throughout the day. And that makes each bad day a good day in the end.

I think we sometimes focus outwards to such a far extent that we miss the people standing right next to us. Or walking down the hall towards us between classes...

But don't take this as a challenge to simply ask people more questions the next time you see them or get a "feeling" that someone's not doing too great. Don't make someone your pet project. Don't talk to people because you feel like you have to. Talk to people because you want to. Because you genuinely care about them, and are interested in their lives. Just remember that Christ lives in them... would you give Him the cold shoulder or brush Him off like a pesky mosquito?

... I hope not.

You can't love God without loving others.
And you can't love others without loving God.


'If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.'
[1 John 4:20-21]

By the way: I apologize if this was difficult to follow. I feel like I was kind of all over the place, jumping from one thing to another. There is simply so much on my mind right now. I'm finding it difficult to think straight and organize my thoughts. So when I'm just writing down raw thought, it's just as jumbled as it is in my mind. Blech.