'Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to .
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take.'
I just asked my mom if she and my dad ever prayed that with us kids when we were younger, because I couldn't remember. She said a little, maybe when we were really young.
The reason I bring it up is because last night I actually prayed that and seriously meant it. Kind of ridiculous.
But lately - meaning the past couple of weeks - I've really been thinking about death a lot. I couldn't tell you why. I simply have. I'm not afraid of death. I don't plan on ever trying to cheat death. I'm excited for it, in a sense, but not so much that I would ever wish for it to happen. Yet if it did happen in five minutes... five days... five years... I'd be fine with it - whether I knew it was going to happen or not. I wouldn't be upset that my life's been cut seemingly short. I don't have any regrets. I'm happy. I'm saved.
So why do I keep thinking about it? Get this, I've even started to think about my funeral. I'm dead serious. Ha. No pun intended, I promise. I should be thinking and dreaming about my wedding at this age - not my funeral! I'm so weird. But I know what hymns I would want sung and by whom. I know what Bible verses I would want recited. I know what I would want to be wearing. I know who I would want to speak. Crazy, crazy Natalie.
I'm not going to think about or read into it. Maybe it's just a very strange phase... ? I am curious now, however, if other people have ever thought about the same. Hm.
'We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.'
[2 Corinthians 5:8]
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