So here's the story behind this post. It's actually 2:44 in the afternoon on Thursday. This post is actually a paper I wrote between midnight:30 and 3:00 this morning, and then later between 10:00 and 11:45... ummm, yeah. Anyway. It was an assignment for one of my classes. It's supposedly a spiritual growth plan. Whatever. But I missed yesterday's post ("today") and have nothing on my heart or mind right now - and had no clue what to write about - so I thought I'd post it. I figured it has to do with my faith and my walk with God, technically, so it works. It's a bit long, I wouldn't blame you for not reading it. Just thought I'd give you a heads up now.
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'Psalm 25:4-7 [NIV] says, ‘Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.’
I feel that this psalm – and more specifically the section of verses above – describes where I am in my walk with God. I want to be taught by Him. I want to be guided by Him. I want to be loved by Him. I want to be forgiven by Him. At times it can be easy to forget that you need all of these things, especially from God. You need to learn. You need to be guided, loved, and forgiven. Because I want and need all of these things, I believe God has brought me to the path I am on. I am where I am for at least one reason, and whether I learn of this reason in five days or five years does not matter. I personally believe it is the here and now that matters. I think God knows that there is something I am searching for in the place where I am, and that is why He has brought me to where I am today. I am constantly seeking something – half the time I do not even know what – and throughout my life He has constantly provided me with the answers I have been looking for. I have not always walked down the straight and narrow path in regards to my faith. I have climbed mountains, I have dug myself into dark trenches. I have walked extremely close with God one day and veered completely off the edge of the map the next. Throughout my trials and accomplishments, sorrows and pleasures, I have made mistakes and learned from them. God is teaching me that I am not perfect. God is teaching me that without Him, I am nothing. And I think that is why He has brought me along the path that I have traveled thus far.
Because of this personal belief, I have come to grow in my faith in more than one way. For example, I have realized how truly wonderful ‘an unhurried life’ is. Taking the time to slow down has become an important aspect of my life. We do have a purpose on this earth and our lives are far too short to rush through everything; I think by rushing we are not able to fully comprehend our purpose and enjoy our fulfillment of what we are meant to do. But even until God reveals that purpose, I think it is important to not rush. God created this earth for our enjoyment, not mere disposal. In my opinion, ‘Take time to smell the roses’ could be, by far, one of the wisest sayings known to mankind. I have also grown through the realization that there is joy and beauty in every situation imaginable. I have lived a fortunate life. I mean, I have never been affected by disease. I have never had to deal with trauma. I have never lived in poverty. I have never been stricken with depression. Sure, I have experienced my share of sadness, frustration, anger… but I have never had to deal with utter tragedy. This is something I am thankful for. Even so, I am curious as to how I would respond to situations where there seems to be no happiness, peace, or joy. I think that God has recently been teaching me how to live with just that – joy. Life is full of those ‘dee dah day’ moments. God gives us gifts daily. It is just a matter of learning how to look for them, grasping them, and fully using them to see God’s own joy and beauty.
Even though I am growing in my faith and am developing what spiritual strengths I do have, there are ways I am completely adverse in regards to growing further and developing those strengths. I believe the first and foremost reason for God putting me on this earth is to wholly worship Him with love, devotion, and dedication. Deuteronomy 6:5 [NIV] says, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength,’ and John 4:23-24 [NIV] says, ‘“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”’ I believe that worship is not merely singing praise to God during church or youth group or chapel services at school. Worship is living your life for God, giving Him everything of yourself, every minute of every day. Yet do I truly live that way? No. As difficult as that may be to admit, it is the truth. It is not that I simply do not focus on Him enough, but it is also that I have turned away from Him entirely before – and more than once. There have been times when I rejected His love, and certainly did not give Him any in return. If that is not falling short of God’s design for me, I do not know what is. I also have not put as much trust in God as I could have. I do not think that I ever tried to put my full trust in Him until this past year, to be honest. I am not a fan of putting my trust in the unseen, the unknown. I like to plan. I like to know what is going to happen. When you put your trust in God, I think you are taking a step towards admitting that you are alright with not knowing what is going to happen. By putting your trust in God, you can be more firm in your beliefs and the faith that you have in Him. I have tried to do things my way, on my time, by my plans for such a long time. This is an absolute weakness and I am constantly striving to place it at the foot of the cross. I trust God. Unfortunately, saying you trust God and completely following through with having trust in Him are two entirely different things. Yet I know that He cares about me enough to have patience with me (ah yes, patience: something I feel I will always be continuing to learn).
I believe it is difficult to place my faith or my walk with God on a scale. Life is constant, but not consistent. It changes with you day-to-day. However, in general, I suppose I would be able to place myself at a five. I know I am always going to have room to grow, no matter where I come to be in life. Certain aspects of my spiritual life are better than others. For example, I would place myself at a nine in regards to prayer, but I would place myself at a four in regards to Scripture reflection or meditation. In four to five years I hope to be at a seven. I want to take things slowly, so that I can absorb as much as possible and get the most out of my relationship with God. I want to be on a slow walk with God.
Of course, there will always be things that hinder our relationship with God. Culture – especially Western culture – is not always very friendly to the believer who is trying to grow spiritually. There are distractions galore in the media, at work, at school, and at home. They come in many forms, such as people, material possessions, success complexes, health problems, violence, and so much more. We are a busy people. We are an independent people. I know that these represent two of my bigger obstacles that I face. Sometimes I always feel like I am going, going, going and that I live in an over-extended lifestyle. However, this is because of choices I have made; I can also choose to move toward the opposite of an over-extended lifestyle. I can choose a life with balance. I believe balance is a key component to healthy spiritual growth. I have to give priority to the important things in life. As of now, those things include God, my family, my health, and my education. Sure, friends are important. Service is, too, as is working. However, if I cannot even focus on my relationship with God, who created me and allows me to even have education, friends, and the ability to serve and work, how can I have all things in my life in order, regardless of priority? Not giving God enough time – and thinking too independently, believing I can do everything on my own – is a large obstacle that I am always striving to overcome.
Fortunately, I am slowly learning how to take larger bounds over these obstacles and by equipping myself with knowledge, as well as practicing spiritual disciplines, I believe I can make a lot of significant progression towards growing in my faith. I think that the righteousness and spiritual growth of mature Christians is not a result of their age or the number of years they have been Christian. I believe it is a result of practicing their disciplines. The willingness to do exactly that is an advantage for spiritual growth, in my opinion. Another advantage would include the fact that I am living in a time and place where I am surrounded by fellow believers. I am not persecuted for my faith in Jesus Christ. I am not cursed or shunned for my beliefs and morals. If I need help with anything, I have people I am able to turn to. I can ask them advice. I can ask them for prayer. I have opportunities to create support systems. Even though I think that we should turn to God with everything first, God does speak through people. We have also been put on this earth to encourage, edify, and grow with one another.
I think that growth can be spurred by many things. We have to want to grow, though. Once we have decided that we do want to grow spiritually, we can then take steps toward doing so. Personally, I know I need to be willing to open up to people more. There are often times when I want to talk about God and my faith, and complain that nobody is willing to be vulnerable. Yet when God presents opportunities to do so by placing people in my life who also want to talk about God and faith, I do not recognize the fact until later – or worse, I simply let the opportunities pass me by if I do recognize it. I also need to nurture growth with God’s Word. I have been working on this a lot lately, but I do not think that we can ever read enough. When I read the promises of God over and over, it helps me remember that He is at work, even when I cannot see Him at work. Hebrews 11:1 [NASB] says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” I also need to cooperate with God as He works, giving Him praise for what He is doing in my life. Pruning and cutting off may be difficult to deal with and it may hurt at times, but it is for the best. It helps us grow efficiently and produce greater amounts of fruit. And with this fruit we can reach out to people and help them grow. The fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23 are as follows: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I need to be praying for said fruit consistently in order to grow effectively.
All things said and done, I have a lot of growing to do – and I am glad.
Romans 12:1-2 [NIV] says, ‘Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will.’ If, by the time I leave this world, I learn how to grow spiritually in such a way that allows me to live the way Romans 12:1-2 describes, I will most likely consider my life well-lived. I want to be able to use what I have learned and what I know I will learn while growing spiritually to help others in the future. Whether I’m a missionary in the Middle East, a youth pastor in Salt Lake City, Utah, or a stay-at-home mom in goodness knows where, I hope to be able to guide others in developing their spiritual disciplines and growing in their faith.'
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