Ch. 289 - Still Wanting More

'Lord I want more of You.
Living Water rain down on me.
Lord I need more of You.
Living Breath of Life come fill me up.'
[We Are Hungry]

Everything happens for a reason.
And God can be found in every situation.
I trust in God and rely on both He and the knowledge and truth of that realization to get through every day and to live in a way that is pleasing to Him
.
Even so, I find myself needing and wanting more out of day-to-day life. I've said in the past I want more 'of God'. But now I'm asking myself, 'What does that even mean?' I guess it's one of those things where at one point in time, it makes absolute sense and I know perfectly well what it means... but then at other points in time, such as now, I have absolutely no idea what I meant by it and am questioning my ability to understand things like having a relationship with Jesus. I don't mean that I'm questioning my desire to have a relationship; I mean that I am questioning what that relationship should honestly look like and what it truly means to have this incredibly unique two-way street in one's life.

So here's the thing.
God does so much for me.
He has blessed me with so much over the years, seemingly more so in the past couple of years.
Yet I don't really want more from him.
He's given me so much already, including the greatest thing He could ever give.
That's where wanting more of Him comes into mind.

My God is a giving and gracious God. He gives us life, both physical and eternal. He gives us gifts. He gives us abilities. He gives us fruits. He gives us answers. He gives us everything of Himself and then some - to every person, every day. Couldn't getting something from Him be getting something of Him? Because He is all that matters in this world. He is in and of everything. He is in His creation. He is in you. He is in me. If I find myself wanting to be merciful, I pray to God to fill me with mercy so fully that it flows unto others. This would be mercy coming from God. But this is something of God as well, because He is mercy. Thus, wanting more of Him would entail things such as this.

More than anything, I think I should be wanting to be close with God and worship Him. Until I truly understand what I want out of a relationship with Him through wanting more 'of Him', there is nothing more important. Technically, there never will be.


' "And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever." '
[1 Chronicles 28:9]