September 18, 2008

Ch. 192 - I NEED YOU

My God, my God, where are You?

I'm not doing too well.

I really need some down time with God... for like, a few days.
That's it.
Nothing and no one but God.

I technically have the freedom to do that, but it's so difficult when you're constantly with people who you know will ask questions. Sometimes I wish I could get away with just not talking to people. Ever. Isn't that terrible?

Today was not fun.
I'm dealing with so much at once, it seems.
Lies.
Death.
Oppression, even.
And to top it all off, it's so frustrating that dinner's at 5! Man!

I just feel tired. I'm so tired I want to scream. Strange, I know, but it's me. What can I say? Tonight I was running and I just kept going and going. Running's my tonic. Whenever I'm running, I'm good to go. Nothing can touch me. But I suddenly had to just stop. I cried out to God and prayed and tried to listen for Him, but I felt so alone.

Right now I feel as if having a relationship with God is really easy... but I'm making it really difficult for myself. Ridiculous.


'Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.'
[2 Corinthians 1:3-5]

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