I made a commitment to God almost nine months ago (see Ch. 5). A commitment that I hope to never break. A commitment that I shouldn't wait to start living my life by. A commitment that means everything to me.
I have felt like such a punk lately. Honestly, I've just slipped away from the world, it seems - and I've also slipped away from God. I try to dive into His word and as soon as I open my Bible I want to put it down. I try to speak my mind and heart to God and I find my mind wandering. I don't really give Him my undivided attention. I let situations and circumstances from the past control my thoughts and emotions and that is not fair.
It's not fair to me.
It's not fair to my friends and peers.
It's not fair to my God.
This has to be the longest valley I've ever traveled. I feel like I'm walking on sand. Let me tell you... I am more than ready to let God put me on stable ground and help me start climbing a mountain.
I give my life to you, God.
Take from me my burdens.
Make my heart new.
Restore my soul.
Pour out your love, mercy and grace unto me so that I may overflow unto others.
Use me.
'But your hearts must be fully committed to the Lord our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands, as at this time.'
[1 Kings 8:61]
1 comment:
Hello,
Random person here. I have been reading your stuff for the last...well I dont know how many weeks it has been...but I figured it was time enough to go ahead and introduce myself.
I started reading your stuff for I guess two reasons. Your content interested me and the second is because I had actually considered going to school where you are going. Weird I know...
The post you have created above beats true with everyone I believe. It seems like my life with God is close to that of walking on the graph of sine on cosine. What I mean by that, I go through periods where I feel like I am so close but it is followed by times where it just feels like everything I do is just hindered.
I hope you are able to find the catalyst to get you out out of the sand. Better yet I hope you can identify what helped so you can use it later on.
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