Ch. 117 - The Ol' Switcharoo

So I was reading my Bible today and decided to read some New Testament scripture. I flipped it over to a random page and came to Luke, chapter ten. I started to read and came to The Parable of the Good Samaritan. I almost decided to skip over it and continue on to chapter eleven, but decided not to do so. I got through the first few verses and had to stop to think about them, because I read something I had not taken note of before.

An expert in the law decided to 'test' Jesus and asked Him what he must do to inherit eternal life. Jesus asked in response what is written in the Law; the expert answered that we are to " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' " Jesus replied, "You have answered correctly."

You have answered correctly. But wait, wasn't the expert the one who had decided to test Jesus in the first place? But Jesus makes it sound as if He were the one who was testing the expert in the law.

An interesting thought, no?

I asked my mom about this and she reminded me that it seems as if whenever experts in the law and the Pharisees stood up to Jesus and questioned or tested Him to undermine His authority, Jesus turned the tables on them and simply made them look and sound foolish.

'Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced.'

[1 Chronicles 16:11-12]

(This was a verse I read in my Old Testament reading for the day and it really hit me. I like it a lot.)

Ch. 116 - My Soul to Keep

'Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to .
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take.'

I just asked my mom if she and my dad ever prayed that with us kids when we were younger, because I couldn't remember. She said a little, maybe when we were really young.

The reason I bring it up is because last night I actually prayed that and seriously meant it. Kind of ridiculous.

But lately - meaning the past couple of weeks - I've really been thinking about death a lot. I couldn't tell you why. I simply have. I'm not afraid of death. I don't plan on ever trying to cheat death. I'm excited for it, in a sense, but not so much that I would ever wish for it to happen. Yet if it did happen in five minutes... five days... five years... I'd be fine with it - whether I knew it was going to happen or not. I wouldn't be upset that my life's been cut seemingly short. I don't have any regrets. I'm happy. I'm saved.

So why do I keep thinking about it? Get this, I've even started to think about my funeral. I'm dead serious. Ha. No pun intended, I promise. I should be thinking and dreaming about my wedding at this age - not my funeral! I'm so weird. But I know what hymns I would want sung and by whom. I know what Bible verses I would want recited. I know what I would want to be wearing. I know who I would want to speak. Crazy, crazy Natalie.

I'm not going to think about or read into it. Maybe it's just a very strange phase... ? I am curious now, however, if other people have ever thought about the same. Hm.


'We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.'
[2 Corinthians 5:8]

Ch. 115 - Words of Wisdom

If only I had started practicing this a good fifteen years ago. Man.

'When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.'

[Proverb 10:19]

Ch. 114 - The First of Many

Today I was tested by the Big Guy. Of course I didn't realize I was being tested until I gave up and failed miserably. For some reason, though, I think that's how God wanted it to happen. I understand why. I know what I was being tested on and what the real answer was. I learned a lesson and I'm glad that things panned out the way they did - even though I did, indeed, fail.

I was volunteering at my church, helping unload flood buckets - delivered from across the country - from a semi-truck. We then put some buckets into my youth pastor's truck to deliver to another United Methodist Church in the city. I went to help unload those at the church and when we got back to St. Paul's there was another semi in the parking. People were placing the buckets taken from the first semi into the second. ... 'Wait, what? Why would they do that? What a waste of time.' So I got in line to help reload. I later learned that the second semi was going to stay in our parking lot for the week and our church would be handing out the buckets. 'Alright, that makes sense. I get it now.' Yet as I stood in one of the lines, helping pass buckets, I started to become irritated.

I was basically complaining nonstop in my head.
Terrible.

'Why are there little kids here? They think they're helping - well gosh, their parents are telling them "what a big helper they are!" - while in reality they're simply getting in the way.'

'Why couldn't this have been a youth volunteer event? We would have had this done in no time at all! Ugh. I wouldn't have set things up like this. This is practically organized chaos.'

'Standing shoulder-to-shoulder isn't working. There's no rhythm. I don't even have any room to move my arms to pass this bucket. Ridiculous.'

'Ok, so I get a little space on one side finally and somebody shoves me out of the way, saying "It's my turn to help!" Fine. There's no room for me, so I'll leave.'

And so I did.

As I was walking away I knew it was the wrong thing to do. But my temper got the best of me. Again. I was childish and immature in my actions and I heavily regret leaving. I simply can't be like that.

Having kids around may be a bit burdensome, but their being there is a valuable lesson for them, learning to help and work with others. That's a good thing.

Just because the youth may be a bit stronger than some of the volunteers that were there doesn't mean that the work would have been done any quicker.

The fact that there were so many helpers is truly wonderful! Imagine if only a handful of people had shown up. I'll take too many over not enough any day in situations like that.

I'm not Superman. I can't do everything by myself. And I shouldn't be selfish in wanting to help, even though that almost sounds kind of strange. I need to be working for God - not myself.

I suppose this was sort of like my first test of the new path I've started to walk on. I know, however, that it was by no means my last test. And I'm glad for that. In the future I'm going to have to work with others - and all kinds of other people, at that. I'm going to have to follow plans that aren't my own and may not seem the best or brightest, but I may have no say in how things should or could be done. I'm going to have to learn how to follow before I can lead. I am going to need copious amounts of patience and self-control.

And even though I think that I have died in self and am living in Christ, I certainly don't think it always shines through in my life. I think I'm going to have to commit myself and remind myself that everything is for God every day over. I should be doing that now.

For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver.'

[Psalm 66:10; emphasis my own]

Ch. 113 - A True Blessing

Tonight Hannah Rosenthal (whom I've known eight years now - seems so long!) held a Bible Study Leadership Training. And I loved every minute of it. I was the only person who showed up, sadly, until her sister and a friend (Abby and Jodie) showed up halfway through the session. But it was really nice to catch up a bit with Hannah and have that one-on-one time with her. She had gone on an InterVarsity retreat and they went over what it takes to be a small group (Bible study) leader. She shared this valuable information with me tonight and I would love to be able to put it to use here in the near future. There's so much that Hannah went over, there's no way I could write it all down here. However, the four main points were: Nurture, Worship, Community, and Mission. Perhaps I'll go over these tomorrow (I'm pretty tired and don't want to sit in front of the computer for too long).

Anyway, this was really a blessing for me because I've always wanted to lead a small group, but God has never presented an opportunity for me to do so - perhaps because I wasn't ever prepared or ready to do so. Now I am, though! Well, maybe not entirely. However, I think I've matured in my faith quite a bit this past year and that it'd be appropriate for me to at least show interest in being a small group leader - whether at church or on campus next year. And I'm not saying that I'm going to make a great leader after a two-hour meeting, but I think it was a good first step. If it's God's will, then it'll happen. If not, no worries.


' "For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness.'" '
[Ezekiel 34:11-12]

Ch. 112 - A Storm For Me

Tonight there were a lot of storms in east central Iowa, including Cedar Rapids. The thunderstorm lasted quite some time and I enjoyed every minute of it. I simply love storms. The lightning was so bright that it lit up our entire yard. The thunder was so tremendous that it shook the walls of our house. The storm was topped off with a round of hail.

For some reason I was really thankful for this storm. Even though Iowa's had so much rain this past month - and at one point I definitely would have given anything for a full day of sunshine - hearing the rain pour down outside made me incredibly happy.

I think it's partly because it simply gave me a good reminder of how powerful our God is. In a way I kind of needed that.

Man oh man, our God is good.


'But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you.'
[Psalm 33:18-22]

Ch. 111 - A Call Worth Answering

All I have for this post are a couple Bible verses. As I read them today they really struck hard and I've been thinking about them a lot.


'Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.'
[Psalm 84:10-11]

Ch. 110 - What Truly Matters

Tonight I was wearing a skirt. I was leaning down on a kitchen counter talking to my dad. As I stood fully back up, we heard something rip. Without looking down I knew my skirt had torn. An eyelet in the skirt had caught on a cabinet handle edge.

Ugh! I was so mad. I was mad at myself for not having changed into shorts when I thought about doing so. I was mad at the stupid cabinet handles that we have. I was mad at my mom for being in Des Moines and not here so that she could fix it tomorrow. And of course, I was mad at the skirt for being so darn tearable.

I stormed upstairs to get ready for bed and threw that skirt on the floor, where it belonged. It no longer deserved to be hung up in my closet or even folded and placed in a dresser drawer. Nope, my temper had me in its grip and I took that out on my poor skirt.

As I brushed my teeth I started to cool down a bit. When I was taking out my contacts I really started to think. And by the time I had finished washing my face I realized how ridiculous I had been and that my skirt deserves a second life... and that I should obey my mom and not leave clothing on the floor!

I really had been ridiculous about the whole thing. Usually things of that nature don't bother me so much. I mean, it's not even my favorite skirt. It's absolutely reparable. I had no reason to be so upset about a flimsy piece of fabric. That's all it is! A couple rectangles of fabric sewn together. It's not the only piece of clothing I own. That doesn't mean I shouldn't take care of my things, but I have other skirts I can wear tomorrow, next week, next month, if I so desire.

What if my family were ripped away from me?
What if my liberties were ripped away from me?
What if my freedom to practice my faith openly was ripped away from me?

What would I do then? These are among the things in my life that truly matter. I believe that if any of these things... family, liberty, faith... were not in my life, I would have good reason to be upset. God has blessed me so greatly and in more ways than I can count. To be materialistic and unthankful for everything - or simply a single thing - would be like a slap in the face, I imagine. You've heard them before... "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." Love God. Love your neighbor. Honor your parents. Give thanks. Doing these things are also what truly matters to me. And they're all something I should be focusing on and doing more of.

Funny how something like a small tear in a skirt can make you realize that.


'Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." '
[Mark 10:21]

Ch. 109 - I like people...

I'll admit it. When I get frustrated with someone, usually a stranger, I'll mutter "I hate people..." Is it true? Of course not. But when there's a mom with seven kids running circles around her in the middle of the sidewalk, blocking any possible way to walk around them, sometimes I can't help but be seized with a flash of anger. I may have gained some patience lately, but there's still a lot to learn and attain.

Anyway, the truth is, I like people. I love people. I like to give everyone benefit of the doubt and believe that they all have some good in them - or at least good intentions. So when I hear about people who are truly good people, it makes me love people in general even more. It gives me hope for mankind, as ominous as that may sound.

Today in service our youth pastor told the congregation how the folks from VIM (Volunteers in Mission, I believe) up in Minnesota, where the senior-hi was supposed to go on their mission trip, have decided to come down and help Phil (our youth pastor) out by organizing the off-site details for the senior-hi "trip". Phil has decided to stay here in Cedar Rapids for the mission trip so that they can help out with the flood relief and clean-up. However, he wants a traditional, off-site mission trip experience for the kids, so they'll be spending the nights and worship experiences out at Camp Hitaga. This is a huge relief for Phil and the other youth leaders, because they've been so busy lately with trying to figure out mission teams and what they're going to be doing throughout the summer for the people of Cedar Rapids. The team in Minnesota didn't have to come down and help out. They could have simply stayed up there and felt sorry for us and said, "Oh well. Nothing we can do. We have to deal with you not being here to help us with our camp." They're even donating the money the kids paid to go on the trip back to Cedar Rapids and the flood relief. So helpful.

So yes. I like people. A lot. I love people. A lot. It just goes to show that because God loves us, we can love as well. Maybe not as perfectly as He can, but it's worth trying to. 'Love thy neighbor' has never meant so much to me. This is going to be huge.


' "... but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord." '
[Leviticus 19:18]

Ch. 108 - But why, God? Why?

In all of God's great creation... He made no mistakes.

But was there really a need for Him to create mosquitoes?

Honestly.


'To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it.'
[Deuteronomy 10:14]

Ch. 107 - Chchchanges

I'm writing "today's" post at 11:30 on Saturday. This isn't the first time I've written the day's post a day or two late, especially within the last couple of weeks. You know, sometimes it's because by the time I sit down to write a post, it's kind of late and I find myself practically falling asleep at the keys. But I like writing later in the evening, because by then I've gone through the entire day and have had time to reflect on the day and its happenings - or lack thereof.

And sometimes, I'm just too darn lazy to write anything.

However, lately I've found that I'm just not, well, inspired. As horrible as that may sound, it's kind of true. I don't mean that something amazing has to happen each day in able for me to see God in my life. But when you're not in the midst of realizing how things are completely changing for you... and when you're not surrounded by "Hot-God-Men" and "Hot-God-Women" [see Chapter 10]... and when you're not truly focusing on God... it's easy to see how it's becoming more difficult to see Him and know Him and feel Him and hear Him and learn about Him.

I have no one to blame but myself.


'I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.'
[Proverbs 8:17]

Ch. 106 - All the Time

God is good.
All the time.

It may be difficult to see or realize some of the time.
But it's always true, regardless of how apparent it is.

You can turn away all you want.

He is always going to be there.
He is so real.
His love is always going to be there.
His love is so real.


'Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!'
[Philippians 4:4]

Ch. 105 - The Proclamation

I am going to be a missionary.

Of course I say that... but I don't truly know what will happen in the future, or what God has in store for me. But if I could do anything and say so now out-and-out, it would be just that.

I am going to be a missionary.


'Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let them say among the nations, "The Lord reigns!" Let the sea resound, and all that is in it; let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them! Then the trees of the forest will sing, they will sing for joy before the Lord, for he comes to judge the earth.'
[1 Chronicles 16:31-33]

Ch. 104 - Peace and Unity

'How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!'
[Psalm 133:1]

'Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.'
[Hebrews 12:14]

7. May 2010 Edit:

I appreciate these verses more when they are put together. I have come to gain the personal view that there cannot be true unity without peace. But I do think that you can have peace without unity. Which really is a shame, because disunity can do so much harm to a person or people, a place, an idea or dream... But God wants each of these things for us. He could make them happen in an instant, if He truly so desired. But what good would that do us? Would we learn anything? That is, other than our God is mighty and entirely reigns over us... ? I simply don't think that we would truly appreciate being in peace and unity, because we would not have entirely worked for it ourselves. Granted, God would help us along the way, but by just restructuring everything in an instant to attain these things would not be completely wonderful.

Ch. 103 - The Perfect Timing

As I've said before, I wasn't planning on coming home. I truly thought I was going to stay at the University of Utah and thus would remain in Salt Lake for the summer to fully establish residency and take a couple of extra classes. But that pull on my heart was so strong and as I continued to think about a life of serving God [in missions], I realized that it truly is the right thing for me. I know I had gone back and forth so many times about transferring and taking the first formal step into that life - and that I settled on staying in Utah - but this is it. It's really going to happen. And I couldn't be more excited!

Returning to the fact that I'm in Iowa now, I have no problem believing that God brought me back, and for a reason. The flooding in Cedar Rapids occurred the week after I arrived (June 7). At the time I kept thinking, "Man. What a welcome back... stupid rain," or "Oh great. No showers for a week? Ugh!" and "If only I had called my parents a week later... then I wouldn't have to put up with this."

What a great attitude, eh?

First of all, I finally shaped up and tried my best to think positively. Secondly, I found myself realizing yet again that things really do happen for a reason. I'm in Iowa. Many areas of Iowa have been declared disastrous after being ravaged by floods and tornadoes. There are a lot of people who need help. Business, homes and places of worship have been utterly destroyed. There's going to be an awful lot of cleanup in the near future here in Cedar Rapids, that's for sure.

And I'm ecstatic.

I can't wait to get started. My entire summer will be like one giant mission trip, honestly. There's just so much to do. If possible, I'd love to help out somewhere at least once a week. My church isn't even sending out the mid-hi and senior-hi to their prospective mission trip destinations. Phil, the youth pastor, said that the senior-hi trip will be a local one. They'll have an off-site location where they will stay for a week and a half and work at different areas of Cedar Rapids.

You know, during service on Sunday, one of our pastors told us that she had received an e-mail from a pastor in Gulfport, Mississippi, where the senior-hi has gone for the past two summers on their trip... from what I understand, the e-mail said that people in Gulfport are going to try and come up to Iowa to help us. How neat is that?

I really think it's a good thing that I decided to transfer and come home in the process. I have two months [from today!] until I move to Moberly - and I plan on making them count.


'And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life." '
[Genesis 9:12-15]

While I was helping at a water distribution site on Saturday, it was storming off and on. At one point during the day we spotted an incredibly bright rainbow that seemed so close it was if we could seriously go and find the end of it. It was beautiful and even brought tears to a few people's eyes.

Ch. 102 - Faaather

I like to call my dad 'father' sometimes. For example, I'll greet him when he comes in the door from work with a simple "Hello father," and he'll respond with "Hello daughter."

I like this.

Mostly I just call him dad, though. I've never been one to call him 'daddy'. He keeps saying that when my sister has her baby and he becomes a 'Grandaddy' or a 'Papa' that he will be called 'Grandfather.' And not just 'grandfather' - but 'grandfaaather' with a slight English accent. He can be so silly sometimes, I don't know what to do with him!

My dad's a great guy. At times he's a man of few words, but he makes them count. He's quiet. Not shy, really. Just quiet. And gentle! Yet he's not a gentle giant, exactly. I mean, he's not imposing, but he's not meek either. I think one of the things I like most about my dad is that he makes you feel comfortable when you're around him. There's something about his presence that makes you feel at home, wherever you are.

He always wants what is best for you, and only you. He cares for your well-being. I know that he will do anything to ensure our family's health, safety, security, and happiness.

'Father' is very intelligent. He's got one of those math and science brains that I would kill to have a piece of, but he's creative, too. He's got a good job at Rockwell Collins, but I worry about him sometimes because I think he's taken advantage of. He's dependable. Reliable. Quick-thinking. Hard-working. A problem-solver. In short, he'll get the job done, whatever the assignment is, and he'll get it done really well.

This world - and especially Rockwell Collins - could use more Kevin Keenes, that's for sure.

My dad has a beautiful heart and a good head on his shoulders. He is a man of integrity. He's down-to-earth, humble, patient, and a good servant and disciple of Christ. I am so lucky to have him in my life.


'Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.'
[Ephesians 6:4]

I believe my dad has done this and I am thankful for all he has done in his 19 years of raising me.

Ch. 101 - One-Hundred-Two

Not that it truly matters, but this is blog post number 102. I know it says Ch. 101, but my very first post was a 'Preface'.

I'm bringing up this number because I think it's neat to look back on those 102 days and see how God has worked in my life. 102 days of living life as a Jesus-lover. Well. Actually... more like 101 days... because there are 30 posts for February... ? Anyway! Some days certainly seem or feel like they are more God-filled than others, but either way I know that He is with me always, through every day. Through every high. Through every low. And that's what truly matters.

Besides. Quality over quantity, right?


' "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." '
[Deuteronomy 31:8]

Ch. 100 - Woman at the Well

I really didn't want to put up a video link two days in a row, so I figured I'd simply write out the video instead. I found this video poem on Godtube.com a few months ago and I fell in love with it. I thought about it today for some reason and watched it; the video is simply made, but the recitation is powerful and meaningful. If you'd like to check it out for yourself, go to http://www.godtube.com/ and in the search bar type "Woman at the Well".

Woman at the Well

I am a woman of no distinction, of little importance.
I am a woman of no reputation - save that which is bad.

You whisper as I pass by and cast judgmental glances,
though you don’t really take the time to look at me
or even get to know me, for

to be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known.

And otherwise what’s the point of doing either one of them in the first place?

I want to be known.
I want someone to look at my face and not just see two eyes, a nose, a mouth, and two ears,
but to see all that I am and could be -
all my hopes, loves and fears.

That’s too much to hope for, to wish for or pray for.
So I don’t, not anymore.
Now I keep to myself and by that I mean the pain,
pain that keeps me in my own, private jail -
the pain that’s brought me here at midday to this well.

To ask for a drink is no big request, but to ask it of me?
A woman unclean,
ashamed,
used and abused,
an outcast,
a failure,
a disappointment,
a sinner?

No drink passing from these hands to your lips could ever be refreshing, only condemning,
as I’m sure you condemn me now,
but you don’t.

You’re a man of no distinction though of the utmost importance.
A man with little reputation, at least so far.
You whisper and tell me to my face what all those glances have been about,
and you take the time to really look at me
but don’t need to get to know me.

For to be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known.

And you know me, you actually know me.
All of me and everything about me.
Every thought inside and hair on top of my head.
Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread.
From my past and my future, all I am and could be.
You tell me everything, you tell me about me.

And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation,
coming from you brings love, grace, mercy, hope, and salvation.

I’ve heard of one to come who would save a wretch like me,
And here in my presence you say, “I am He.”

To be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known.

And I just met you but I love you.
I don’t know you but I want to get to.

Let me run back to town, this is way too much for just me.
There are others -
brothers,
sisters,
lovers,
haters,
the good and the bad,
sinners and saints -

who should hear what you’ve told me,
who should see what you’ve shown me,
who should taste what you gave me,
who should feel how you forgave me.

For to be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known.

And they all need this too,
we all do
need it for our own.


'When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?" (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?" (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water." "Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?" Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." '
[John 4:7-14]

Ch. 99 - St. Paul's UMC

The church I attend here in Cedar Rapids, Iowa is St. Paul's United Methodist Church.

I'm not going to lie and say that it's the perfect church.
Because it's not.
Or that we have a perfect congregation.
Truth be told, it's an "old" congregation.
Or that we have a perfect sanctuary.
The stained glass windows were put in upside-down.
Or that we have a perfect choir.
An "old" congregation means "old" voices.
Or that we have a perfect youth program.
There's not often a stable group of kids.
Or that we're situated in a perfect neighborhood.
St. Paul's has had to lock its doors to keep people out.

There are more, but why go on? It's these little things - these supposed flaws, if that's what you want to call them - that make St. Paul's what it is. And I'm coming to realize more and more how much I love St. Paul's.

Who cares if many of its members are 65+ years old?
Does that make St. Paul's any less worthy of my prayers, my presence, my gifts, or my service?
No.

The church's motto is "To know and follow Christ, and to help others know and follow Christ."
And that is what I need to be focusing on.
Not how many kids are - or are not - in the youth program.
Nor how funny the social hall often smells.
Nor how ugly I think the color of the walls in rooms 101 and 103 are being painted.

Because I will always be able to find things to complain about.
That's easy.
But none of that matters.
What does matter is how I can help St. Paul's grow and serve in such ways that will better our neighborhood, community and the world we live in.
And while that's more difficult than complaining, it's the right thing to do - for everyone.


'Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.'
[Psalm 143:10]

Ch. 98 - It's a Lifestyle

Christianity is a beautiful gift. God's grace, mercy and love - His giving us His Son to die for our sins... it's all a gift. And while it's nice to read the Bible and pray and go to church on Sunday, we shouldn't be constricted, in a sense, by merely going through the motions.

Don't take what you have for granted.
Don't live in a box created by others around you.

Branch out.
Reach out.

Love is not merely an emotion or a feeling. It's an action. People should know you're a Christian not by the cross necklace or WWJD? bracelet you wear, but instead by how you act and what you do - or even do not - say. Christianity should never be a commodity, an accessory put on to look good around certain people. In my opinion it really should be more along the lines of an absolute lifestyle. Live your life through Christianity. Live your life through Christ.


'... and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.'
[Ephesians 3:16-19]

Ch. 97 - B-I-B-L-E

The B-I-B-L-EEE... is good enough for me.

Grand.

I love the Bible.
I really do.

It gives me strength when I feel weak.
It gives me advice when I'm uncertain.
It gives me comfort when I feel upset.

And it shares a beautiful story of love, mercy, forgiveness, grace, and compassion.


'All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.'
[2 Timothy 3:16-17]

Ch. 96 - DO Something

There is so much going on right now. In Iowa. In the Midwest. In the United States. In the world. Every day I hear about flooding, tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes. Death. Destruction. Devastation. It's everywhere.

It's easier said than done at times, but if at all possible we should be going out and helping people. Whether it's sandbagging, reconstruction, distribution, medical care, pastoral care... we need to be there for people whose lives and 'worlds' are in danger, or for people whose lives and worlds have been turned upside-down.

These are sad times. Bad times. End times. Whatever you consider it... it's not good.

Let us be a light to those who are living in darkness.


' "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." '
[Matthew 7:12]

Ch. 95 - God's Great Grace

Man. Gotta love that alliteration.

Today was my first full day back in Iowa and I have enjoyed it very, very much. It was great going to church and attending the full-on traditional service that I have come to love entirely. We had a visiting pastor, though. He's the lay pastor of the United Methodist Church of Tanzania. His native language is Kurundi and he had a translator for his sermon. So, so, so neat. He's larger than life and knows how to keep your attention. He spoke of remembering to thank our God for His grace that He has given us. I believe that's really important because I don't think people often enough do so. I know I don't. I like to think that it pleases God by at least meaning to give Him thanks more often, but I know that by actually just doing it pleases Him even more.

These were the verses that the pastor's message was based on:


'Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, "Jesus, Master, have pity on us!" When he saw them, he said, "Go, show yourselves to the priests." And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him - and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?" Then he said to him, "Rise and go; your faith has made you well." '
[Luke 17:11-19]

Ch. 94 - Love HIM

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.'
[Deuteronomy 6:5]

6. May 2010 Edit:

This is the greatest command we are to obey.
It has been given to us by our Lord God.

Love Him.

Love Him with all your heart.
Love Him with all your soul.
Love Him with all your strength.
Even with all your mind [Matthew 22:37].

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that we are at all capable of doing this. I mean... that's a lotta lovin'. But I don't think that God would give us a command that we are unable to follow. I believe that, at the very least, attempting to obey this command is what He desires. We're not perfect. We're not going to get it all right. We don't always have everything together. And God knows that. He is an understanding God. A good God. A loving God. A giving God. He is the easiest Being to love, really, because of all these things. He will take any bit of love that we give Him and cherish it. We don't need to be afraid that our love is not sufficient for Him.

Ch. 93 - God's Creation

God's creation is really beautiful.
Really, really beautiful.


'God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.'
[Genesis 1:31]

Ch. 92 - Mutti

I call my mom Mutti, which I picked up in German class a few years ago during high school. And it works, seeing how she's lived in Germany and became quite fluent and such. I wish I had stuck with the German, but no matter.

As I speak - er, type - Mutti is driving to Utah to pick me up and bring all of my belongings back to Iowa for the summer. She should be here in a couple of hours, actually. I am more grateful for her willingness to do this than you can imagine. I can't wait to see her. It's been five months today since I've seen Mutti and trust me when I say it's been too long. And to think that I was about to go until mid-October without seeing her or the rest of my family... unbelievable.

Lame or cliché as it may sound, I'm glad Mutti is my mom.

We're pretty close, and getting closer all the more. I believe we think alike and that our personalities are similar. We look a lot alike, too! I'm glad, because I think my mom is beautiful. She has an amazing heart, spirit and mind. She's a people person. I don't think there's anyone in this world that dislikes my mom. If there is, they are crazy. Ok, so I may be a little biased, but I honestly can say that people simply like my mom. And with good reason.

Sometimes I don't think she gives herself enough credit. She's done a lot of good for a lot of people, probably without realizing it. She didn't work for years at a time because she was raising three kids - a job in itself. And I think she did a wonderful job, if I may say so myself. I mean, it's not like Jessica, Wesley and I were perfect kids or are perfect people, but that can't be a reflection of how my mom (and dad!) raised us, because we're human.

But we really were good kids, and of course I like to think that we still are. We love our parents very, very much and we're a pretty close family.

I can't express how thankful I am that God has blessed my family in the numerous ways He has. And Mutti is an amazing woman and a beautiful disciple of Christ.


' For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.'
[Psalm 139:13]

Ch. 91 - Who Am I?

I judge people.

A lot.

Well, maybe not too much. But definitely more than I should.
Which, in my opinion, should technically be never.

What gives me the right to be around someone and assume I know them... their mind... their heart... by the way they act or by something they said?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

My mom said something a few days ago about me being able to perceive people well. I took that as a compliment. But perceiving people in such ways is entirely different from judging people. The only one who can and will righteously judge others is our Lord. May He forgive me for judging His people wrongly and help me repent so that I don't continue to do so.


'You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.'
[Romans 2:1-2]

Ch. 90 - The Famous One

Even though I've heard "God has a plan for you!" many a time now, I still love when it clicks in my head and I get that shiver up and down my spine when I realize just how true it is. Decisions and plans that I like to think I make and alter and go through with... it's all God's doing. Not mine. Then there's the realization that every breath and step I take, every thought that goes through my head - God knows it all. I love that. It makes me feel safe. And overall I feel like there is no room for worry or doubt in my life, because I know the Big Guy has my back.


' "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." '
[Isaiah 41:13]

Ch. 89 - Seek

'One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.'
[Psalm 27:4]

5. May 2010 Edit:

Because of the new covenant, we are now God's temple[s]. He dwells within us: 'Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?...' [1 Corinthians 6:19] But this does not mean that we are able to stop seeking Him. We should be praying for continual communion with God. David knew the Lord's beauty, and desired to gaze upon it all the days of his life. Don't you think that if we truly believed we have seen and know the Lord's beauty that we would desire the same thing? If we have seen and know His holiness... His goodness... His splendor... His lovingkindness... we should be striving to seek Him and know Him above all other things.

... So why don't we?

Why is He not constantly at the fronts of our minds?
Why do we not constantly seek the help of the Holy Spirit?
Why are praises for Him not constantly on our lips?
Why is He constantly pushed aside, away, or forgotten altogether?

Ch. 88 - Your Helper

If you're ever going through a difficult time, turn to God. Chances are you won't have to turn too far, because He will be right there for you, with open arms and a willing ear. Which is a beautiful thought. If you feel lost and weak, cry out to Him. He will answer. Trust that God will give you comfort and strength, and He will. He will enable you to hurdle all adversity that has been placed in your way. He will care for you with the gentleness of a shepherd carrying his lambs. He will quench your thirst. He will guide you. And He will love you.

What more could you want from a God that is as big and small as our God is?

He can be anything to you. Make Him yours.
You won't be disappointed.

... And if you ever find that you are, maybe you should think it over. Because chances are, you're just putting the blame on someone else other than yourself. Even though those difficult times and the disappointment we feel are usually due to choices we make and the unfaithfulness that we indulge in.


'He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings likes eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.'
[Isaiah 40:29-31]