I did a bit of reminiscing of my childhood [in Alabama] today. I remembered my best friend, Anna, who lived next door, moved to Texas, and then came back a couple years later - much to my joy. I thought about my other next door neighbor, Tamara, and how we would sneak up into her grandparent's fruit garden in their backyard and pick plums to snack on... and then find the occasional napping 'possum family. I remembered practicing tumbling and dance routines in our backyard. In my mind I revisited the enormous wooden playground (Kid's Kingdom) on my bike, then went back down to our street, passing our house and going straight to the cul-de-sac. I stopped at a house to look at the wooly, black caterpillars that, for some reason I still have not figured out, always seemed to accumulate on that particular house's driveway in droves.
You know what I thought about most, though?
Hide and seek.
Hide and seek has always, always, always been my favorite game. And when I say game, I mean it's my favorite of all games: outdoor games, group games, games, board games - you name it - nothing compares to hide and seek in my book. I will never tire of playing it. I played the game so many times as a child that looking back, it was probably ridiculous... and I will continue to play it for so many years in the future that it will be ridiculous at those points in time. I simply love it. I also enjoy Sardines, the 'backwards' version of it. You know, where one person hides and as people look for that person and find them they stay in that spot. Genius.
As I thought about this game and how it brings such great happiness to me - probably more happiness than it should, actually - I started thinking... lately, I've been playing a constant game of hide and seek. It's a really twisted version, though, even more so than Sardines. This is how you play:
First of all, it's a two-player game. Second, there aren't really any rules. You hide. Then, when you get bored or want something new and exciting, or perhaps you get scared, you go look for the player who is actually supposed to be looking for you. You find them, everything is good, and then it's the other player's turn to hide, right? Wrong. You're selfish. You want another turn to hide. Maybe you're too lazy to try and find them - it's easier to hide. Or perhaps you simply want to play a different version so you start all over and have to show them how things are done - and this time there are rules, your rules.
What happens when the other player is God?
That's how I feel, as if I'm playing Hide and seek with Him. I feel so distant - but it's my own fault. I'm hiding. I know God will pursue me, but that doesn't mean I can't make the effort to reciprocate, assuming He'll find me. The thing is, though, you really can't hide from God. I mean, it is God we're talking about, after all. When I do decide to make the effort to find Him - even though He was never hiding - I come out of my own hiding spot and return to Him. And that's great - but I should never have been hiding in the first place, neither consciously nor subconsciously. Because I admit that sometimes I do, indeed, put God out of my mind knowing right well what I'm doing.
I'm just thankful that I have a God who loves me no matter what and will take me back into His loving arms at no cost.
The only verses that come to me tonight are these - they may or may not work with what I'm saying, but the first has the word hidden! So it goes with the theme of hide and seek, and that's good enough for me.
'... "There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will be made known." ' ... ' "And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered." '
[Matthew 10:26,30]
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