Ch. 17 - The Truth

I am humble.
I am not prideful.
I am meek.
I am not arrogant.

I am a liar.

If I honestly believed the first four statements to be true of myself, then I would, indeed, be lying to myself.

That's not good.

Today I asked Darcy if I was being selfish in deciding to do something. She didn't think it was. She went on to say that she believes she is selfish. I was surprised to hear her say that. I said I couldn't think of a single incident where she's been selfish. I asked her to give me one reason as to why she believes she's selfish. She said, "I can't think of any right now... but I will!" I just laughed at her (more like with her) and called her weird. Standard procedure. But I went away realizing all the more that Darcy Posselli, the Italian-Greek, is a very selfless young woman.

Situation.

You're sitting in church on a warm, summer morning. You listen to the organist playing the introduction hymn for the first few bars, but then lean to the side, nudging your mom to point out the numerous typos in the service bulletin and whisper in her ear your opinion of Katie Bott's little sister's 'hooker shoes.' The hymn ends and you rise with the congregation to partake in the opening prayer and hymn. Oh, there's a baptism this morning - look how cute the baby is, oh my gosh! Soon thereafter Scripture is read and the pastor starts his sermon. You take an offertory envelope and pew pencil to doodle and write barely legible, random sentences here and there. You look up every so often to give the illusion that you are actually paying attention. You even nod your head a bit, even though you have absolutely no idea what he's talking about. Smile and nod, smile and nod. That's your gig and boy are you talented. Remember that baby that was baptized? How he was so cute? Yeah, well, that was before he started to bawl his head off. How annoying. Doesn't the mother know that she should take him out of the sanctuary? Oh well, what are you going to do? You go back to doodling, grow bored, and start looking through the hymnal for Christmas songs to sing in your head. Suddenly you hear the pastor ask in a booming voice, "So - I want you to think about salvation today. Really think about it first, though. Then decide if you get to ask yourself that question. That beautiful question. Pray with me." You think, 'Wait... huh? What question? What the heck is he talking about?' If only you had been paying attention, right?

Curious as to what the question is? Here it is:

Am I saved?

It truly is a beautiful question. Why? Because if you find yourself asking that question, you are.

If you ever worry about something as free as salvation, know that you shouldn't.

I was so worried last semester that I had committed the unforgivable sin. I asked someone I trust and respect immensely about it and she told me that because I asked not only myself, but God about it, I should automatically know that I hadn't. Simple as that.

Sound too good to be true?

Certainly. But so does everlasting life.

That's why I wrote those four statements. I'm not asking myself, "Am I humble?" because I know I'm not. I know it's something I have to work on. I know I'm prideful. I know I'm not meek. I know I'm arrogant. But because I realize these things, I am able to ask God for help and rest assured that with His help I will overcome these weaknesses.


'How you have fallen from heaven, O morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations! You said in your heart, "I will ascent to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High." But you are brought down to the Sheol, to the depths of the pit.'
[Isaiah 14:12-15]