Time to be tough.
Suck it up.
Get over it.
It's not a big deal.
I keep saying these things to myself, in regards to not being in Salt Lake. I'm homesick for Utah. How crazy is that? I was there for ten months and I miss it like no other. I said it in my other blog, too, but I'm not too proud to say it again and again and again. Because never before had I experienced LIFE the way I did when I lived in SLC.
And you know, sometimes you just have to say what you're thinking.
I miss walking around campus. I miss reading on the city library's roof. I miss riding TRAX. I miss leaving notes on the boys' apartment door. I miss walking the Red Butte trails. I miss seeing snow on the mountains surrounding the valley. I miss crossing the Legacy Bridge on winter mornings on the way to weightlifting. I miss sipping piping hot Americano in CoffeeBreak.
But most of all, I miss the people I met.
I miss listening to Darcy's hilarious stories.
I miss God-talks with Matt.
I miss Shawn's dancing and prancing around.
I miss hearing Spencer make fun of Brittany.
I miss hearing Tiffany make fun of Spencer.
I miss Zach's quiet nonchalance.
I miss Katie's humorous quips.
I miss learning about Ross' reckless ideas.
I miss Kastin's amazing hugs.
I miss random talks with Landon about nothing and everything.
I miss Ricky's quiet enthusiasm.
I miss Jackie's passionate outbursts.
I miss listening to Ben leading praise at Ute-Nited.
I miss Katie C's contagious laughter.
I miss thinking and thinking and thinking about David's questions.
I miss experiencing Jess' excitement about small group.
I could go on forever with these 'I miss' statements - especially about specific people - but I'm not going to waste my time grieving over the fact that I'm not in Salt Lake City at this point in time and that there are people, places and things that I miss.
My dad has kept on asking me if I'm sure I want to go to school in Missouri, or if I want to go back to Utah. Of course I want to go back to Utah! Now that I've been and know what it's like out there and have developed relationships with some incredibly special people, I think if I don't go back eventually that I will go crazy. Whether I go for a long weekend visit once in awhile... for summer work... for two years of school at Salt Lake Theological Seminary... for inner-city mission work for the rest of my life... I will go back. But for now, I know that I need to be elsewhere. It killed me to realize that and let God take over, but at the same time it's giving me life. And that's where I find rest. Knowing that it's God's will and that His plan for me is the best plan for me.
' "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." '
[Jeremiah 29:11-13]
Hm. How many times have I used these verses so far? Three?
I think I'm starting to see a theme here.
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