Ch. 370 - A Desire to Please

This was the devotional that I received today. It was really uplifting and a great reminder to simply live my life for God as the person He created me.

God Smiles When We Use Our Abilities

'After the flood, God gave Noah these simple instructions: "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth. Everything that lives and moves will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything." (Genesis 9:1,3 NIV)

God said, "It's time to get on with your life! Do the things I designed humans to do. Make love to your spouse. Have babies. Raise families. Plant crops and eat meals. This is what I made you to be!"

You may feel that the only time God is pleased with you is when you're doing "spiritual" activities like reading the Bible, attending church, praying, or sharing your faith, and that he is unconcerned about the other parts of your life. Actually, God enjoys watching everything you do, whether you are working, playing, resting, or eating. The Bible tells us, "The steps of the godly are directed by the LORD. He delights in every detail of their lives." (Psalm 37:23 NLT)

God especially enjoys watching you use the talents and abilities he has given you. God intentionally gifted each of us differently for his enjoyment. You may be gifted at mechanics or mathematics or music or a thousand other skills. All of these activities can bring a smile to God's face.

You don't bring glory or pleasure to God by hiding your abilities or by trying to be someone else. You only bring him enjoyment by being you. Anytime you reject any part of yourself, you are rejecting God's wisdom and sovereignty in creating you. God says, "You have no right to argue with your Creator. You are merely a clay pot shaped by a potter. The clay doesn't ask, 'Why did you make me this way?'" (Isaiah 45:9 CEV)

In the film Chariots of Fire, Olympic runner Eric Liddell says, "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast, and when I run, I feel God's pleasure." Later he says, "To give up running would be to hold him in contempt." There are no unspiritual abilities, just misused ones. Start using yours for God's pleasure.

God also gains pleasure in watching you enjoy his creation. He gave you eyes to enjoy beauty, ears to enjoy sounds and music, your nose and taste buds to enjoy smells and tastes, and the nerves under your skin to enjoy touch. Every act of enjoyment becomes an act of worship when you thank God for it. In fact, the Bible says, "God generously gives us everything for our enjoyment." (1 Timothy 6:17 TEV)

God even enjoys watching you sleep! When my children were small, I remember the deep satisfaction of watching them sleep. They looked contented, secure, and peaceful, and I was reminded of how much I loved them. When you are sleeping, God gazes at you with love, because you were his idea.

Parents do not require their children to be perfect, or even mature, in order to enjoy them. They enjoy them at every stage of development. In the same way, God doesn't wait for you to reach maturity before he starts liking you. He loves and enjoys you at every stage of your spiritual development.

You may have had unpleasable teachers or parents as you were growing up. Please don't assume God feels that way about you. He knows you are incapable of being perfect or sinless (1 John 1:8).

What God looks at is the attitude of your heart: Is pleasing him your deepest desire? This was Paul's life goal: "More than anything else, however, we want to please him..." (2 Corinthians 5:9 TEV)

When you live in light of eternity, your focus changes from "How much pleasure am I getting out of life?" to "How much pleasure is God getting out of my life?"

God is looking for people like Noah in the 21st century—people willing to live for the pleasure of God. The Bible says, "The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who are wise, who want to please God (Psalm 14:2 LB).

Will you make pleasing God the goal of your life? There is nothing that God won't do for the person totally absorbed with this goal.'

Ch. 369 - God Help Us

'Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.'
[1 Thessalonians 5:15]

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

' "The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' " [Mark 12:31]

Honestly.
Come on, people.
We can do better...

Ch. 368 - Equality in Love

'Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.'
[Philippians 2:1-2, NASB]

God exhorts us.
He counsels us in love.

God comes close to us.
He brings us help and cheer.

The Spirit dwells within us.
It brings us eternal life.

God reaches out to us.
He gives us affection and compassion.

Let our joy be like Paul's: connected to the unity of believers.

Let us think the same way.
Let us love others in the body of Christ equally.
Let us be in harmony.

Please, Lord God, let us give of ourselves sacrificial love.

Ch. 367 - Spring!

New life.
God has given us renewal with the coming of spring.
I love seeing shoots of green bursting through brown soil.
Definitely one of my favorite things to see.
Makes me smile.


' "See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me." '
[Song of Songs 2:11-13]

Ch. 366 - God Blessed

While in a park today, I sat down on a bench and just started talking to God. As I was doing so, I found myself thinking some things that I don't believe were really my thoughts. I hope that makes sense.

Anyway, I was thinking about the future and what God has in store for me. The most prevalent thought was something along the lines of, 'God won't make me do something that I don't love or have the heart for.' Seems like a "Well, duh!" kind of thing, but it honestly didn't click with me until that moment, you know?

I'm really excited to find out, over the years, what I'll be doing for Him. I have a general idea of what I'd like to do, but won't know for sure until... well... later. But God has made me into the person that I am, knowing full well what I will be doing. He has given me a certain personality, strengths, weaknesses, and talents all to equip me to serve Him in such a way that simply works. I will be just the person to do a certain job and that's comforting to know.


'But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.'
[Psalm 13:5-6]

Ch. 365 - Peace in the Valley

I've been listening to Johnny Cash all day. He is the only 'country' singer I listen to, and I have my mom to thank for the fact that I listen to him. Two of my favorite songs of his are actually spiritual songs. I've listened to them each a number of times, more than I could ever recall, I'm sure. But today as I was listening to one of them [(There'll Be) Peace in the Valley, written by Thomas Dorsey] it for some reason made me think of Revelation 21:4.

Revelation 21:4 says, ' "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." '

The chorus of the song goes as follows:
'There will be peace in the valley for me, some day.
There will be peace in the valley for me, dear Lord I pray.
There'll be no sadness, no sorrow,
no trouble, I see.
There will be peace in the valley for me (for me).'

I love this, you know? It's just... reassuring. To think of the day when I will not only have complete peace, but also be with my Lord... I can't even begin to imagine what that day will be like.

Ch. 364 - Preparation

'For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.'
[Ephesians 2:10]

When I read this, I get excited. I want God to open doors for me so that I can find out what the good works are that He has prepared for me to do.

Yet when I feel like He's not opening those doors, I wonder why.
I constantly pray for opportunities.
Opportunities to love.
Opportunities to serve.
Opportunities to challenge.
So when I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere, I feel... a bit letdown. A little discouraged, even.

I think we often hear that God won't let us be tempted beyond what we can handle [1 Corinthians 10:13]. But a friend reminded me a couple days ago that God will give you what you can handle... when you can handle it. Do what you know you need to do for now. God will take care of things from there. I think I'm still in a major growing phase and that I need to actually help myself before anyone else. As selfish as that sounds, I believe it's true. I need to better know who Christ is before I can help others know Him. That's a tough realization for someone like me, who doesn't like to focus on what I need and look inwards, then attempt to fulfill those needs. I like to think that I'm good. I know enough. I have enough. But that's so far from the truth that I can barely handle it. So I really do need to turn to God with an empty cup and ask Him to fill it. When I am so focused on Him that I don't realize my cup is overflowing, and He has to say, "Natalie, look!" ... that's when I'll be ready.

Ch. 363 - Got Me Thinking

God has everything planned out for us.
He knows all that we will do before we do it...
or even think about doing it.
He knows that at a certain point in time, we're going to need something. Someone. An idea. A hug. An interpretation. An answer. So He sets it up for us ahead of time.

I wonder if God experiences déjà vu often...

So it shouldn't come as a surprise when, halfway through reading something, I stop to think, 'Wow... This is pretty sweet. Oh wait, hey! It's definitely a God thing... duh!'

As I mentioned a couple days ago, I started reading Ezekiel. Well, I finished it this evening. As alluded to, I was struck by something about halfway through the book. A phrase I kept reading over and over was something along the lines of "I am the Lord your God," (such as in Ezekiel 20:7) or "Then you will know that I am the Lord." (such as in Ezekiel 20:38)

I am the Lord.
I am the Lord.
I am the Lord your God.
I am the Lord your God.

Granted, whenever God told the prophet Ezekiel to say to Israel that He was their God, and that they would 'then' know He was their God, it was because He was about to bring upon them desolation and destruction... but still.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Ezekiel.
There is a lot to take in throughout the book.
But I'm not going to lie: I definitely felt that all God wanted me to 'understand' from this was that He is the Lord. And that through good times and bad, I will see Him and know that He is the Lord my God.
And to be honest, that's good enough for me.
I couldn't help but be moved these repetitive phrases.
I needed that simplicity.
These words brought me peace. And comfort.
Relief, even.

God speaks.
Praise Him.


' " 'Then they will know that I, the Lord their God, am with them and that they, the house of Israel, are my people, declares the Sovereign Lord. You my sheep, the sheep of my pasture, are people, and I am your God, declares the Sovereign Lord.' " '
[Ezekiel 34:30-31]

Ch. 362 - Moving Forward

Alright. Here’s the update chapter I’ve been promising for awhile now…
Like I said in my last post, things are looking up. I’m feeling God’s joy again. I’m at peace with myself again. I honestly haven’t felt like this since a couple days before winter break.

So here are two thoughts [and all the goodies that go with those thoughts] that have been going through my mind the past few months. They have been the most prevalent in my mind and thus are what I will elaborate on.

I) Wow… I don’t know what the heck I want to do, after all. I originally wanted to transfer from Utah to [any] Bible college to learn more about God and the Bible. Decided I’d major in Youth Ministry. Well, that changed to Cross-Cultural Ministry before it was all said and done. I simply wanted to tell people around the world about Jesus. I wanted people to be saved. So I get to Central, right? And things are really great. I enjoy the classes, my coursework is interesting. Meet some pretty cool people. Really start to learn more about what my years at Central would look like. See the focus on East Asia, however, for missions. Huge turn-off. I kept thinking, ‘Psh. I don’t want to go to China. I have no interest whatsoever. I want to go to the Middle East, and that’s that.’ Over the past few weeks some light has been shone on the whole issue, and although my thoughts are technically the same, I have a more positive view of the missions department. But missions in general… do I really need a Cross-Cultural Ministry degree to do missions? No. So I start thinking about going back to Youth… I’d focus on Children’s Ministry. Yeah, sounds great. Okay, I really don’t want to work in a church and don’t know what else I’d do. Counseling is a simply out of the question. Biblical Research? Eeeyeah… about that… Preaching – yeah, well, not at this school… Anyway! My thoughts turn to education. I’ve always liked the idea of being a teacher; I’ve thought being a kindergarten or first-grade teacher would be really great. Exhausting. Challenging. Hectic. But great. And with education, I think I’d have a better chance of not boxing myself in. I could do missions overseas through education, which I think would be way neat. Or even teach here in the states, and then do missions in the summer. So that’s what I’m going to do.

II) Sooo I’m not really sure where You are, God. Yes, that’s right. Here at Bible college, I have felt so far from God these past few months that it’s basically ridiculous. I have no one to blame but myself. I wasn’t proactive whatsoever in extending my relationship with Him to new levels. I was very focused on schoolwork – which, in my opinion, is really a great thing… and I ended up doing incredibly well last semester. Yet that’s all that I focused on. Sure, I’d read my Bible for my own benefit [and not for class] now and then. But not enough. And I know I’ve mentioned that before. Now it seems that I’m simply realizing the absolute importance of doing so. I have to stay in God’s word. It is truth, knowledge, and a weapon. I will need it as all these things. If I want to be able to relate it to others in an effective manner, I can’t just know the gist of it. I need to know it through and through, especially for apologetics and in speaking with people who are of different faiths. I mean, the Bible is God’s word. Why wouldn’t I want to immerse myself in it? Beats me… Fortunately, I’ve really started to crack down and train myself to put more time aside for God. I need structure, but I’m the only one that’s going to be able to accomplish that. I don’t have an authoritative figure breathing down my neck saying, “Alright Natalie, time to read the Bible! Time to talk to God! Time to pray for people, time to reflect, time to meditate, time to sing praise!” I have to be disciplined. And I also have to strengthen the spiritual disciplines that are important to growth. No one said it would be easy. I think there are definitely growing pains in faith. But that’s good, because it means that you are, indeed, growing and maturing. I’m right there, I feel. I’m close. A friend once described it as having a strong desire… but a weak will. I think this describes my current situation pretty well. But I truly am working on strengthening my will.

I have a lot to work on in my life. I also have a bit of planning to do [in regards to my course of study]. I’m simply glad, however, that I am definitely just… well… feeling good again. It truly seemed like an overnight-type deal. I woke up a few days ago and I thought to myself, ‘Hm… something’s different. I don’t know what. But I like it!’

To be honest, I believe that I am learning more than I think I am here at school.
And I couldn’t be happier about that if I tried.

My life is for God.
That’s what matters.

So in all reality, I needn’t worry about ‘what the heck I want to do’ or “finding” God.
It’s not like He doesn’t have a plan for me...
It's not like He’s hiding from me...

' "I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." '
[Acts 20:24]

Ch. 361 - Ezekiel is Intense

So I've started reading Ezekiel, right?
However, I don't know why. I just opened my Bible and suddenly thought, 'Hm. I want to read Ezekiel.'
And man, it's great.
This morning during breakfast I was reading chapter seven, and two verses really stuck out to me. I don't know what it is about them, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about them all day.

Verse 10 says, ' "The day is here! It has come! Doom has burst forth, the rod has budded, arrogance has blossomed!" '
[Emphasis my own]

Verse 18 says, ' "They will put on sackcloth and be clothed with terror." '

For whatever reason, these verses hit me pretty hard.
I'm going to do a bit of research and see what I can learn about them.
Until then...

Ch. 360 - An Answered Prayer

There it is.
The light at the end of the tunnel.
It fills me with warmth.
It fills me with hope.
I am grasping God's joy again.
I have the desire.
I have the will.
God will strengthen it.
Discipline me.
Praise God!
Praise God!
I am lifted up.


'Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.'
[Psalm 51:10-12]

Ch. 359 - Harsh but True

'The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.'
[Proverbs 5:22-23]

Way intense.

Ch. 358 - The Exchange

It all started with letting someone know what I couldn't stop thinking this morning.

"God is great. I mean, He's really great..."

I didn't check my phone until tonight.
There was a response.

'Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, let the earth hear His voice!'

Well I couldn't see that and not finish it...

"Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, let the people rejoice!"

I wasn't expecting a reply.
[It is DST, after all. Ha.]
But there it was.

'In the secret, in the quiet place. In the stillness You are there. In the secret, in the quiet hour I wait, only for You, cause I want to know You more.'

"Into marvelous light I'm running, out of darkness, out of shame. By the cross You are the truth, You are the life, You are the way."

'Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found.'

"Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me. Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away."

'As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after thee. You, oh Lord, are my strength, my shield, to You alone will my spirit yield.'
[I was a bit floored with this one - see Ch. 355 as to why.]

"My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in Jesus' name."

'Praise Him from whom all blessings flow, praise Him all creatures here below, praise Him above ye heavenly host.'

"[Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.] Behold the Man upon a cross, my sin upon His shoulders. Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice, call out among the scoffers."

'Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.'

"We fall down, we lay our crowns at the feet of Jesus. The greatness of mercy and love, at the feet of Jesus."

'We sing holy, holy, holy. We sing holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty.'

"Oh no, You never let go, through the calm and through the storm. Oh no, You never let go, in every high and every low."

The exchange stopped there.
But I believe that in a way, it will never end.
What a beautiful way to end the day.

Encouraging.
Hallelujah.

Ch. 357 - We Know Nothing

Just wait a bit more... that update I keep saying I'm going to post is right around the corner, I promise. But for now, I'm just basking in the joy that certain verses and praises are bringing me.


'... then I saw all that God has done. No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning. Even if a wise man claims he knows, he cannot really comprehend it.'
[Ecclesiastes 8:17]

Ch. 356 - Simplicity at Its Best

'Peace to the brothers, and love with faith from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.'
[Ephesians 6:23-24]

20. October 2010 Edit:

Such a desire to have upon my fellow believers: peace... love with faith... grace... simply lovely. I believe these things came from a humble heart. These came from a man who truly put others before himself. How often do we ask God for peace upon ourselves? Or ask for greater portions of love and grace? Why not ask for these things for others, first? I don't know... I simply feel like we all too often try to make everything about ourselves, but try to mask it to look otherwise.

Ch. 355 - As the Deer

'As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.'
[Psalm 42:1]

Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?

I think this is a beautiful verse. Psalm 42 in general is somewhat spellbinding. I mean, it's a supplication to God. The author (who is unknown) has been to the House of God in Jerusalem before. He led the procession, giving shouts of joy and thanksgiving. Unfortunately, he isn't allowed to go back anymore. He is asking when he can go and meet with God.

......

What an awful thought.

To have to 'go' somewhere to meet with your God.
How fortunate I am to have God's presence with me always. He is with me now and forever and I can "meet" Him whenever and wherever I please.

......

Anyway, the author is lamenting the fact that he is, in fact, not allowed to meet with God. He then asks himself, 'Why are you downcast, O my soul?' [verse 5] He realizes, however, that he can continue to put his trust and hope in God and praise Him.

Yet he goes on to say that he has questioned God, for He has supposedly forgotten him. He mourns because he is being oppressed and taunted. Even so, he stresses the fact that he will praise God - Whom he calls his Savior.

Returning to the beginning of the psalm... he longs for God. His "soul thirsts for God, for the living God." [verse 2] Surely he remembers what it was like when he was allowed to go to the Lord's House and meet with Him. That's what he wants once again.
To feel God.
To know Him.
To see His beauty.
His grace. His mercy. His justice.

His soul pants for God.

'As the deer pants for streams of water.'

Water is an essential of life. You cannot survive without it. It is the same with our Lord God. He is not merely an essential of life, however. He is essential to life. You cannot live without Him. You were created by Him. You are known by Him. And if we are to have eternal life with Him, we must know Him. We should be as the deer... panting, in dire need of the living water, which comes only from our God because of His love for us.

I am so thankful that my God never forgets me... even if, at times, I feel like He does.
But I am human.
I can only reach so far.
God is big.
Incomprehensible.
And His love is unconditional.
It's because of this love that my soul does long for Him.

I love that I will always be able to praise God and put my trust in Him, no matter my situation or whereabouts in this small, finite world.

Praise God.

Ch. 354 - Working On It

'Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.'
[Ephesians 4:32]

The past couple days have been exhausting. In light of recent events, I have some decisions to make. Perhaps I will expound on said events and decisions in the next day or two. I have not decided.

On a lighter note...

I love Jesus.

Ch. 353 - One With Authority

Even the Pharisees called Jesus 'Teacher'.

'Keeping a close watch on him, they sent spies, who pretended to be honest. They hoped to catch Jesus in something he said so that they might hand him over to the power and authority of the governor.'
[Luke 20:20]

Come on, guys.

'So the spies questioned him: "Teacher, we know that you speak and teach what is right, and that you do not show partiality but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?" '
[Luke 20:21-22]

I mean, you can't fool Jesus Christ, Son of God.

'He saw through their duplicity and said to them, "Show me a denarius. Whose portrait and inscription are on it?" '
[Luke 20:23-24]

Seems like a simple question, right?

' "Caesar's," they replied.'
[Luke 20:25a]

Wait for it...

'He said to them, "Then give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's." '
[Luke 20:25b]

Wait for it...

'They were unable to trap him in what he had said there in public. And astonished by his answer, they became silent.'
[Luke 20:26]

They were unable...
They were astonished...
They were silent...

Ch. 352 - Finding God

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10... ready or not, here I come!"

God doesn't hide.
But sometimes I feel as if I can't find Him.
Can't see Him.
Can't hear Him.
Can't feel Him.

But whose fault is that?

......

Exactly.

I seem to always say I'm going to try harder.
I'll find Him.
I'll get closer.
I'll do better.

I'm not as disciplined as I'd like to be, that's for sure.

However, I am finally getting back to training myself and strengthening what discipline I do have.

I was listening to a song earlier today and it really made me want to "find" God all the more. I mean, I need Him, even when I don't think I do. He is all things to all people.

He's a shield.
He's a light.
He's a compass.
He's a rock.
He's a shelter.

He is more than we imagine Him to be.

The song I was listening to was The More I Seek You.

'The more I seek You,
the more I find You.
The more I find You,
the more I love You.

I want to sit at Your feet,
drink from the cup in Your hand.
Lay back against You and breathe,
feel Your heartbeat.
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming.'

I want this.


' "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." '
[Zephaniah 3:17]

Ch. 351 - Asking to Tame, Revisited

How long will it take, oh Lord?


'With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.'
[James 3:9-10]

Ch. 350 - I AM

' "I am the LORD, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me, so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting men may know there is none besides me. I am the LORD, and there is no other." '
[Isaiah 45:5-6]

19. October 2010 Edit:

My God is... God.

Sovereign.
Mighty.
Big.
Loving.
Wonderful.

He is the only One.
The only true God.

Oh, the beauty of complex simplicity.

Ch. 349 - Apologizing to God

I've realized the reason.


'Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death...'
[Psalm 13:3]

Ch. 348 - One Body

Today my psychology teacher asked someone to pray before class started. Someone near me said he would, and off he went. It was a good prayer. A nice prayer. Maybe a little typical, you know - nothing out of the ordinary. But one thing that my ear perked up at was when he mentioned God working in "our life." Lives? No. Life. Now, I truly do not believe that he meant to say this. It was likely a mere slip. Kind of like when we say something along the lines of, "When's the assignments due?" instead of "When are the assignments due?"

However, I thought said "slip" to be somewhat appropriate.

Here we are, often talking about how 'we' are the body of Christ... one body.

'For even as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body, though they are many, are one body, so also is Christ.'
[1 Corinthians 12:12, NASB]

'... put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.'
[Colossians 3:14-15, NASB]

'For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.'
[Romans 12:4-5, NASB]

If we are one in Christ, if we are to be one body, why wouldn't we have one life?

By truly living life for Christ out of love for God, we would, indeed, live one life.

One goal.
One purpose.

United.

Remember, we live life immersed in love from God.

Let's live our life together.

Ch. 347 - Decisions, Decisions

So I'm currently in the process of making another decision.
I want to basically shoot myself in the head. This is too intense.

I love my dad, but man... he certainly gets me a-thinkin' and at this point in time I do not appreciate the seed he has planted in my mind. Yet I do appreciate it... it's kind of complicated.

Er, not so much complicated as merely ridiculous.

So question...

What is it that I truly want to do in the future?
[I'll go into detail a bit more in the very near future.]
And based on that answer:
Why am I at Central?

Chyeah.
Honestly.
Not a fun time to get into my mind right now.

On a more... level, positive note... I have declared this week as 'good' and things are looking to be on the upswing. I am good.
Happy.
Peaceful.

Brilliant.


'Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.'
[James 5:13]

Ch. 346 - Believe, Friends

'Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" '
[John 11:40]

5. October 2010 Edit:

Do we even have an inkling as to what the glory of God is? Or do we have to wait until we are home with the Father to experience and see His glory? Sometimes I think that we think nothing of it. That it doesn't matter. Mostly because, I believe, we simply cannot imagine what that glory is truly like. I wonder... when we do something "for the glory of God" if that deed, when attributed to Him, simply makes His glory all the more wondrous. Could that even be possible? I mean, if something is done by human hands - albeit through the power of God - would it be returned to Him and added to that already existing glory so that it increases to greater splendor?

I just... don't know.
But I'm okay with not knowing.
Mysteries keeps me curious.
And that's a good thing.
It - among other things - keeps me believing.
For oh, how greatly I do desire to see the glory of God.

Ch. 345 - Gimme

Want, want, want.
Need, need, need.
More, more, more.

Simple words.

But simple words can mean so much more than we intend.

If we mean what we say and say what we mean and expect follow-through with what we are after, our desires and expectations can affect us immensely. Those desires and expectations can quickly multiply and darken and soon things will get out of hand.

Uncontrollable.

Our focus is rarely where it should be.

This fact worsens when we become centered on self.

We should give.
We should want less.
We should focus on others' needs.

I look around my rooms both at school and home and see stuff. I have so much - too much, it seems - and sometimes it is actually overwhelming. Do I really need 'x' number of purses? Or seven, blank journals? Or that lamp that I never use? Or that blanket that has sat on my closet shelf for numerous years? Or this sweater, or that scarf, or these mittens, or those shoes? The answer is no. Plain and simple. Jesus said to drop everything and follow Him. Leave everything. Everyone. If that's one more step towards discipleship, might as well give away what may be of good use or great need to others.


' "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him.'
[Matthew 4:19-20]

Ch. 344 - Fail

'The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." '
[Galatians 5:14]

So...

I pretty much stink at loving my neighbor as myself.

I pretty much rock at loving myself more than my neighbor.
And that's great... if it's the prideful, self-centered jerkface award I'm after.

But I'm not.

Time to turn away.
Repent.
Change.

For real, this time.

Ch. 343 - Entrusted to Encourage

'Since an overseer is entrusted with God's work, he must be blameless - not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.'
[Titus 1:7-9]

20. September 2010 Edit:

I like to imagine that all believers are overseers. Supervisors. Shepherds, really, over the people who are lost. And when they are found, when they come to realize the life that they can live in Jesus Christ, the overseers are there to guide them in their walk with God. I mean, after all... are we not all to be blameless in the sight of the Lord? Shouldn't we all strive to be love what is good, be hospitable, self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined? Just a thought.

Ch. 342 - A Transformation

I am wretched.

Sinful.
Ugly.
Dishonest.
Ugly.
Selfish.
Ugly.

I am weak.

Ignorant.
Naïve.
Untrusting.
Naïve.
Intolerant.
Naïve.

I am wounded.

Rough.
Help.
Ashamed.
Help.
Resistant.
Help.

I am willing.

Understanding.
Die.
Learning.
Die.
Unanimous.
Die.

I am won.

Refined.
Praise.
Thankful.
Praise.
Redeemed.
Praise.

I am worshipful.

Surrendering.
Beautiful.
His.
Beautiful.
Submissive.
Beautiful.


'Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.'
[2 Corinthians 4:16-18]

Ch. 341 - Pushing Forward

I'm worried.

It's official.
I don't want to be here.
I have to be.
I need to be.
And yes, I'm going to stay.
But at this point in time, I simply do not want to be here.
I have, in a little over one month, gone from looking forward to being at school to an unbelievable extent... to looking forward to being at home to an unbelievable extent.

I'm worried.

I just have no joy.
I am surrounded by negativity.
I am surrounded by shallowness.
I am surrounded by worldly conversation.
I am surrounded by selfish desires.
These things and more are weighing me down.
I simply don't know how to begin to deal with it all.

Well.
I do.
But then what?

I'm worried.

It's becoming difficult for me to see God in things that are said and done by others... and it's even more difficult to see Christ in people.
The enemy is definitely clouding my vision and I don't like this.
I feel like my heart is becoming hardened.

Lord God, where do I go from here?


' "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." '
[Matthew 6:33-34]

I'm not going to worry.
I will turn my heart back to Him.
' "... seek first his kingdom and his righteousness..." '

Ch. 340 - Subtly On Edge

Tonight I was encouraged by someone I never thought would be one to encourage me. What's more is I don't think he realized the extent of how encouraging what he was saying could be. I really needed to hear it, even though it was merely half a dozen words that I've heard many times before.

"Perseverance is a part of faith."
Simple.
Classic.
Evident.
Concise.
Music to my ears, to be honest.


'As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.'
[James 5:11]

Ch. 339 - A Battle in War

Satan will not win this battle.
With God on my side, I am fully capable of winning.
I will force the enemy to retreat.
What a sweet victory it shall be.


'Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.'
[James 4:7]

Ch. 338 - Taking a Look

I am not okay.
And I finally realized that today as I was talking to a friend.
I mean, I've felt that something wasn't quite... right... lately. My relationship with God has actually felt strained.
And that's an awful feeling, let me tell you.
But I sort of brought up a few points this evening - and realized the truth behind them for the first time as I was bringing them up.
I don't know.
I'm frustrated.
I'm worried.
I'm tired.
And I'm an awful disciple of Christ.


'We are brought down to the dust; our bodies cling to the ground. Rise up and help us; redeem us because of your unfailing love.'
[Psalm 44:25-26]

Ch. 337 - Becoming Audacious

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

Usually 'desperation' is used in upsetting contexts or describing some horrific event, you know?

"That troubled woman was so desperate to feed her children that she had to rob a bank for money to buy food."

I think that's all that needs to be said.

Anyway.

I want people to be desperate.

Is that strange?

Here's the deal.
We are comfortable with our lives. With ourselves. With those we know. Our family. Our friends. Our co-workers. Our peers. We have schedules. Routines. What's more, we're comfortable with our faiths and with our God. We rest assured, knowing that by believing Jesus Christ died for us, we are saved by grace.

And then...

... we go to church.
We politely listen to the pastor's sermons, laugh gently when the kids say something cute during children's time, and clap approvingly when the choir sings a rousing song now and then.

... we read our Bibles.
We sit down regularly, at a set time... or rarely at all... and read God's Word like good, little Christians should. Sometimes we read to get something out of it, sometimes we don't.

... we pray to God.
We ask Jesus to look over those in our congregation who weren't in church last Sunday because they broke a hip, or for Susie's mother's cousin's next-door neighbor, whose cat went missing and is thus in quite a tizzy.

Going to church isn't a bad thing.
Neither is reading God's word.
Neither is praying.
In fact, I advocate doing each of these things.

But so what?

We are so comfortable with everything that we start to turn inward.
It comes to be about us.

"That's my pew. Get out."
"What can God's Word do for me today?"
"Jesus, help me do this. God, help me get that. Jesus, do this for me."

First of all, we need to be less comfortable.
We should be seeking God wholeheartedly, every day.
Strive to want more and more of Him constantly.
Don't settle for what you already know.
We will always be able to learn more about Him throughout our lives.
Push yourself.

Become desperate for God.

Live as if you just realized you can't breathe without wanting Him more.

Second of all, we need to step outside of our safe zone and focus outward.
Invite someone to church and - gasp - let them sit in your pew.
Share God's Word with someone who may not know the Gospel. For all you know, you could be the vessel that God uses to save their life.
Pray for others. All the time. Make it a point to pray for other people before yourself. There is power in prayer, especially in intercessory prayer.

Become bold in your faith.


' "If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remained in His love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." '
[John 15:10-12]

Ch. 336 - Watched and Loved

' "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." '
[Luke 12:6-7]

19. September 2010 Edit:

We are of great value to our Lord God.
"Oh... how He loves us so..."

Need I truly say more?

Ch. 335 - Time to Go Swimming

Swim parallel to the shore.
Then the undertow won't take you out to sea.
Sound advice.


'The Lord will keep you from all harm - he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.'
[Psalm 121:7-8]

Ch. 334 - Drowning

Oh Lord, my God,
save me.
Free me.
Fill my emptiness
and fill my lungs
with Your breath.
Yahweh.
Life.
Joy.
Savior.
Sustain me.
Lift me.
Change me.
Let it be so.

Ch. 333 - Strong Opinions

'A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.'
[Proverb 18:2]

......

I don't even know what to say.
I was talking to a kid here at school today and they voiced some pretty strong opinions that really got me thinking. They sort of seem like they talk just to talk... and they will hear what you have to say, but they don't truly listen. Bummer.

Ch. 332 - A Final Exam

These are notes from the second service I attended yesterday, at which our newly appointed bishop, Bishop Trimble, spoke.

We all matter to God and we should also matter to the Church.
However... there will either be eternal life or eternal punishment for our decisions, responses, and actions that we have made throughout our lives.

"Well done, good and faithful servant."
Keep that in mind.
Always.

Where is your vision for victory?
Where is your passion for service?

Faithfully focus on rebuilding, renewing, rejoicing.
Invest in new ministries.
Tell the stories of Jesus.

Rise to your highest potential.
Set high expectations.
After all, God does so [out of love].

Reach new people with new context.
Sometimes it takes thinking out of the box and trying different concepts to get your point across and save the lost.

Give hope [and love] with your
prayers,
presence,
gifts,
service,
and witness.

The power behind us is greater than the task before us.


' "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left." '
[Matthew 25:31-33]

Be a sheep.

Ch. 331 - A Place of Prayer

The sermon this morning at my church in Cedar Rapids was about prayer. So, so great. Here are some of my notes from the sermon:

Prayer can be a lot of things.
A moment.
A thought.
Meditation.
Reflection.
Prayer is active.

A congregation of unity can [and should] be found in pray for and with one another. In the midst of everything that happens around us, prayer needs to be imperative from day-to-day. Even at our church, which is situated in a pretty poor neighborhood... people don't usually come looking for a handout. They come looking for a hand to be held in prayer.

We need support in prayer -
but prayer needs our support.

Every breath we take is a prayer.

Pray out of awareness.
Pray out of generosity.
... We need to be more generous with our prayers.

Everything we give and offer up to God is a prayer.

We can be in constant communion with God.
Extend your hands so that Christ will take hold.
He will lift you up.


'And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.'
[Ephesians 6:18]

Ch. 330 - Mission Field

I can't wait to be done with school.
I mean, I still love school and I am definitely excited to continue to take classes at Central.
But I want to get out and share the Word.

Man oh man.
I can hardly contain myself.


'And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.'
[Colossians 4:3-5]

Ch. 329 - Why I'm There

This evening my mom and I were talking about God's reasons for placing us where He does. I mean, we all have a purpose, a purpose set aside for us by God. He has all these great plans for us, right? Right. But sometimes it's difficult to see what those plans entail as time both slowly and quickly passes. Yet we are where we are for a reason, most often. We meet certain people for a reason... we become involved with certain things for a reason... I don't think we live life on chances and coincidences. Sure, 'coincidences' are fun to think about and such, but honestly - things do happen for a reason. God knows exactly what He's doing with our lives, one by one.

I was speaking to my mom about a couple things that have happened over the year and such, and the fact that I'm at Central Christian College of the Bible for a reason came up. I have recently come to a couple realizations about certain people and events that have taken place at CCCB... and believe that God has helped show me why I'm there, partly. Not only am I there to receive the training to be an effective 'Kingdom Leader' (......), but I think I have been given a mission - get this - within and for the Missions program at CCCB.

This is kind of a vague post, and I apologize for any misunderstandings. I'm just trying to get these thoughts out of my head before I turn in for the evening and this is the best I can do for now. I don't really feel like going too in-depth for the time being. But I'm excited to see how God will use me to better Central while I'm there. What a journey I am traveling. There are twists and turns every few steps I take, it seems.

I'm glad.


'... so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ.'
[Romans 15:6]

Ch. 328 - God's Power for Salvation

Proclaim.

'I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes... For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last... '
[Romans 1:16-17]

Ch. 327 - One Body

'For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.'
[Romans 12:3-5]

18. September 2010 Edit:

The bride of Christ is the Church. The body. Individuals make up the body. We are all equal in the sight of God, whether we like to think so or not... We are truly a family, brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus. Just as individual members of a family have different functions, so do the members of the body in Christ. Each is unique, each is important. We cannot function properly without one another and it saddens me to know that there is so much discord within the body in regards to others and their purposes, lack of involvement, etc....

Ch. 326 - Pointing 'Me' Out

I realized last night that I definitely point out my faults that I see in others. There had never been a doubt in my mind that I could or would do so, but it become readily apparent that it is a practice of mine. It is, however, a practice that I would like to eliminate from my day-to-day life. God made everybody beautiful. He made us without flaw in His eyes. Not to say that we don't sin... but our Creator made all things perfect. Sure, we all have our flaws. Our failures. Our... unattractive qualities or characteristics. Yet I should not be one to point these things out within others. Constructive criticism is one thing. Hypocritical analyzation is another.


'For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.'
[Ephesians 1:4-6]

Ch. 325 - Negativity

The enemy has really been hitting me with a few things lately. However, the issue that seems most prevalent in my mind is negativity. This issue is two-fold; I feel that I am being a bit negative, while other people's negativity is pounding me into the ground.

I think I'm really focusing on what's wrong around me, rather than what's right. I don't know if that's a good thing... I mean, I would love to try and fix what's wrong, but it needs to be God's doing. I am a mere vessel.

But you know, it can be pretty difficult to focus on the positive things in life when I am surrounded by bad energy in a negative atmosphere... when people are tearing others down, as opposed to building them up.

People are more concerned about furthering friendships and working on their "could-be relationship"s than they are concerned about furthering their relationship with God.

People are more concerned about the Kansas and Mizzou teams' wins for basketball than they are concerned about the winning of souls for God's Kingdom.

And people are more concerned about what their peers and total strangers think of them than they are concerned about what their Father thinks of them. Although I guess that's pretty easy to do when we are constantly told, "No matter what, God loves you and He loves you more than anyone ever will."

I don't know what to say or do about anything. I'm not saying I don't do any of what I mentioned. But it's tough when you are being bombarded with things that make you want to shut out the rest of the world. I mean, doing so would get you nowhere. The only thing I can think of doing is giving it all to God and talking things over with Him. Reading psalm after psalm after psalm doesn't hurt anything, either...


'Lord, who may dwell in your
sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from this heart
and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the lord,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,
who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against
the innocent.

He who does these things will never be shaken.'
[Psalm 15]

Ch. 324 - A Freak-Out

Today I couldn't find one of my Bibles.
I was freaking out.
Like, seriously... freaking... out.
It was bad. It was really bad.
I couldn't find it.

And for the life of me, I felt as if I couldn't even begin to think about where it could be.
So I looked everywhere.

I looked in my room.
Desk.
Dresser.
Drawer stack.
I looked in my car.
Dashboard compartment.
Under seats.
Trunk.
I looked in Pelfrey.
Gym.
Cafeteria.
Lobby.

What was I to do?
I love that Bible.
Man.

I decided not to worry about it.
I would find it tomorrow or Monday.

I decided to watch a movie in bed.
So I climbed up and got cozy and comfy under my covers.
Started the movie.
Stretched.
Let my hands drop.
My left hand hit something firm.
Not sheets.
Not a comforter.
Not a pillow.
I looked down and over, and there it was.
My Bible!

I had been reading it last night and put it down on Leez' bed right before I fell asleep.

Oh, Natalie.

......

I don't even know what verse to use for today.
Ha.

Mmm, random.


'When God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work - this is a gift of God.'
[Ecclesiastes 5:19]

Ch. 323 - God is Generous

'But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.'
[Titus 3:4-7]

17. September 2010 Edit:

I think these verses really show us how blessed we are as believers. God sent His Son because He is kind and loving... and Christ embodied those qualities like no one before Him. We know these things through His Word and we learn that He died to save us. Because He is also merciful. And when we realize these things and call upon Him as our Lord and Savior, His Holy Spirit is given to us as a gift. Indeed, He is generous. Gracious. And eternity is ours to spend with Him. Life in the fullest.

Ch. 322 - Fears and Faithfulness

I have yet another devotional that I received to share with you today. This was actually the final installation of a three-part series, but I liked it the best of the three and wanted to post it. Now I will be able to have it for the rest of time. Fantastic.

What Does God Know About You?

'Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
[Hebrews 4:13]

God knows your fears. God knows everything that gets you stressed out. For instance, many of us today are concerned about the economy, and so we have financial fears.

And then we act as if God is unaware of our bills. “Don’t you see, God? I’m going under! I’m not going to make it!” We’re trying to stretch and make ends meet. We get uptight, upset, and we worry. But worry is the result of not realizing the omniscience of God.

When we think that God doesn’t know what’s going on in our lives, then we think we have to take matters into our own hands. In effect, we’re saying, “I’ll be God.” Worrying is taking responsibility for things God never intended you to have.

The truth is God is aware of all your needs. Prayer is never giving information to God. The Bible says, "… Your Father knows what you need before you ask him" (Matthew 6:8). He’s aware of every single need you have: financial needs, spiritual needs, sexual needs, social needs, emotional needs.

God knows your faithfulness. Here’s another benefit from the truth that God knows everything: He sees everything you do that is good and right. Every time you choose not to sin, every time you resist temptation, every time you take a stand because of God’s Truth, he sees your faithfulness to him.

The Bible says every good deed will be rewarded, no matter how insignificant and regardless of whether anybody else on earth sees it. Every encouragement you give to other people, every kind word you give to your children, every time you do a thoughtful act for your husband, every time you pick up around the office when it’s not your job, every time you set up chairs in church or stuff bulletins, every act of courtesy, every time you refuse to gossip, every time you’re positive instead of negative – God sees it all, no matter how small (Matthew 10:40-42).

Imagine yourself on a giant stage and you’re the only person on that stage. You’re acting out your life. In the audience there is only one person and it’s God. He’s out there clapping and saying, “I see that good thing you just did. Keep on going! Nobody else saw it, but I did. I know that thought you just had and I know it was a positive good thought. I saw it.”

So what should be my response? If God sees all the good things that I do and he’s out there cheering me on, then my response should be, “Don’t Be Discouraged!”

Some of you may be saying, “I’ve been trying to do the right thing in my marriage. I don’t see any results. I’ve been trying to be the right kind of person and respond correctly with my kids or to my parents. I’ve been trying to do the right thing at work or at school. And I don’t know if it’s paying off. I don’t see it making any difference in anybody’s life.”

Knowing the truth – that God knows everything in your life, can either be very disturbing or very comforting. It depends on your relationship to him, whether you’re trying to fool him or not.

· God know your faults and failures, but he still loves you unconditionally.

· God knows your feelings and frustrations, and he sees your hurt more than anyone else can.

· God knows your future, so he can tell what you need to know.

· God knows your fears, and he wants you to hand your worries over to him.

· God knows your faithfulness because he sees every good thing you do.

The fact that God knows everything is a tremendous motivator for me to live a godly life. I realize that nothing in my life is in secret; nothing I face will hinder his ability to help me; nothing that is to come will catch him by surprise; nothing I fear will be too big for God’s strength; and nothing I do in his name is ever done in vain.

Ch. 321 - A Stolen Breath

[The New Jerusalem]

'Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars - their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death." '
[Revelation 21:1-8]

These were the verses I read today to start a class. At the beginning of the semester our teacher had us volunteer for certain days to read and pray. As soon as I spotted these verses from Revelation, I wanted to volunteer to read them (Revelation is my favorite book of the Bible). I love reading the Bible aloud, so this was a great three or four minutes for me - especially since it was of Revelation. I couldn't tell you how many times I've read these verses... yet as I was reading them to the class this morning, there was a catch in my throat and my breath was stolen for a beat as I read, "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End." And I smiled. It was a great way to start the day.

Ch. 320 - Getting it Right

I think I've got a case of the mid-winter blues, if you know what I mean. When this happens, I pick up on every little, negative thing - and attach to it. I nurture it. Develop it. And soon it becomes part of me.

It's not good.
Or fun.

But I do it anyway - yet not consciously. I do this to the point where I am tense, nervous, irritable, and simply upset. Emotional, really. There are things that I may be unhappy about and that unhappiness intensifies until I am an absolute mess... even though I do not realize it until after that beautiful release.

And that was what happened tonight. A few things had been irking me (and technically still are), and because of some negativity I had picked up on the past couple days, it all became worse in my eyes. I wanted to call my mom and simply say, "I love you." So I did. Then she started talking about her new job and I, disrespectfully, only half-listened as I doodled on a sheet of paper the same word over and over and over. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. That's what I was. Am. One thing led to another, however, and I was able to get a few words in on what I was feeling. Then it happened. The floodgates opened and tear after tear rolled down my face. My mom and I talked a bit more. Advice. Encouragement. "I love you." But I was left unfilled. I was not satisfied and I continued to silently weep in the corner I had crawled into in Pelfrey Hall's lobby. I needed to talk to someone else. Anyone. I needed a friend's perspective. Help. And I wanted a hug.

I contacted someone who always responds.
No reply.

I tried someone else.
No reply.

And another.
No reply.

And yet another.
No reply.

"Last one," I thought.
No reply.

Each of these people are always there for me.
They are good friends. Great people.

No reply.

I started to get upset. All I wanted was five - no, two! - minutes of someone's time. Was that too much to ask for? Why was nobody answering?

It took about an hour sitting silently in my self-pity for the reason to appear in my mind.

......

Jesus.
[Bet you didn't see that one coming.]

Typical. All I had to do was turn my heart and mind to God. So I did.
You're not going to believe this, but I felt so much better after I talked to Him.

He wanted me to call on Him.
He is always there.
He wants me to rely and trust in Him.
He has all the answers.
He has my life in His hands.

I am a fool.


'"Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him." '
[Daniel 2:20-22]

Ch. 319 - I am Loved

I am more loved than I can imagine.

You are more loved than you can imagine.


'How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.'
[1 John 3:1]

Ch. 318 - Finding Strength

'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.'
[2 Corinthians 12:9]

I am absolutely taking this verse out of context, but I have been feeling weak lately. I am tired. I feel that I can't do or say anything right. I have not been real. I don't work on my relationship with God enough. I focus on people and my studies more than Him. I don't know how to confront a couple of problems in my life or how to deal with them. I don't share the Gospel. I am not strengthening my faith or challenging myself.

But I still rely on God to hold me in His hand and to help me use His strength to persevere through all my obstacles and weaknesses that I feel are holding me back. It is certainly difficult to do so; it's difficult to hold my head high and not let anything get to me. Yet I know that by relying on Christ, His Spirit will work through me and with me to take on anything that comes my way. He will make me strong. I will find rest in Him. I will find peace in Him.

And at this point in time, those things are exactly what I need.

Pray.

Ch. 317 - Turning Around

I think I have figured out what my purpose for this year is. I hope that makes sense. I just hope it's really what God wants me to do. I'm having a bit of trouble discerning whether it's me or Him that wants this. I'm really going to have to pray about it. But the prospect is exciting, nonetheless. ... Which means I need to pray about it even more and make sure that it's not me.

God is good.
All the time.

God loves.
All the time.

God forgives.
All the time.

I love that.


'Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.'
[Colossians 3:13-15]

Ch. 316 - Speaking Wisdom

I have been reading Proverbs a lot lately.
And I mean a lot.
I can't seem to get enough of them. I love the book of Proverbs because every time you turn to it, it's like reading something new. Different sayings will jump out at you, speak to your heart, or convict you, depending on where you are in your walk with God and what's going on in your life. It just goes to show that the word of God is relevant. Living. Beneficial.

[A couple have really been making me think. I love that.]

'Death and Destruction lie open before the Lord - how much more the hearts of men!'
[Proverb 15:11]

'In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.'
[Proverb 16:9]

Ch. 315 - Be a Sanctuary

'Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary,
pure and holy, tried and true.
With thanksgiving, I'll be a living
Sanctuary for You.'

A sanctuary is something set apart by God for God. It is a place where God dwells.

Being a sanctuary includes the absence of profanity and defilement.
Being a sanctuary includes the acceptance of responsibility to be a standard of value.
Being a sanctuary includes giving help to those in need.

Be humbled that God has chosen you to be a sanctuary for Him.
Be open to His searching and cleansing of your heart.

Let His Spirit lead you.


'For this is what the high and lofty One says - he who lives forever, whose name is holy: "I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite." '
[Isaiah 57:15]

Ch. 314 - With God

Ohhhhhh, context... fantastic.


'Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." '
[Mark 10:27]

Ch. 313 - Say What You Mean

We are a 'cell phone society'.
We text.
We call to talk.
We say anything and everything that's on our minds.
We are quick and to the point.
We don't filter our thoughts as we say them.
We are loud, bold, and obnoxious.

The age-old rule of 'Think before you speak' seems, at times, long gone. Do we care? No. But what happens when we do not think before we speak in terms of God? And when we speak to others whom we truly care about? I think we use the fact that our God forgives and loves as an excuse to say things we shouldn't. And I think we use the excuse that because those whom we care know we love them no matter what, they won't truly mind if we say something we should not.

Our God has set standards for us. As Christians, we need to strive to not only meet the bar, but raise it. We cannot take love for granted. We can use it for good, but we can also use it for bad - in terms of deception and such. We need to say what we mean... and mean what we say. As cliché as that may sound, it is sound advice. Don't say one thing and mean another. Don't say something hurtful and immediately say, "I'm just kidding!" or "Oh gosh, I'm sorry! That was mean, wasn't it?" Usually, there is at least a bit of truth in your mind to what you say. I won't hide it - I am a prime example of one who says things that should not be said, and then uses one of the mentioned exclamations to excuse myself.

This is unacceptable.

I say that I am striving to be more Christlike, but this is certainly one obstacle that I must overcome in order to truly move forwards. I need to consciously make an effort to control my tongue and encourage others. I don't think I bring people down, necessarily, but I certainly could speak to them in a more positive light. To tell you the truth, I have been working on this for the past couple of years... but I am not very diligent in practicing this discipline. I know what kind of woman God wants me to be. And I know that if I try hard enough, I can be her. I already am... I'm simply unrefined. Rough around the edges, if you will. But God will refine me, smooth me, mold me. Beautiful.


'I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done. The Lord has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death. Open for me the gates of righteousness; I will enter and give thanks to the Lord. This is the gate of the Lord through which the righteous may enter. I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation.'
[Psalm 118:17-21]

Ch. 312 - Matters of the Heart

Anxiety seems to surround students here.
Homework.
Tests.
Ministries.
Relationships.
Family issues.
Work.

The list goes on.

... Where is the encouragement?


'An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.'
[Proverb 12:25]

Ch. 311 - Saltiness

Create a thirst in others for God.


' "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men." '
[Matthew 5:13]

Ch. 310 - Obey

Disciples obey God.
I don't think we can love God and not obey Him.


'This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world.'
[1 John 5:2-4]

Ch. 309 - One More Lesson Learned

God is really working with me on not judging others. I have been asking for His help with this problem for a while now. I am slowly learning my lesson... I actually really enjoy the way God is teaching me about not judging others, because in the process I get to know people better and gain friends. I would never dream of complaining about something like that! God knows what He's doing, that's for sure. But that shouldn't come as a surprise. I mean, He is God, after all.


'If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you...'
[Exodus 33:13]

Ch. 308 - Always Rested

I am three days into the semester... and I am tired. I haven't been doing a whole lot, though. I mean, I've done a few homework assignments, including preparing a speech for Oral Communications that I presented today. I'm sure that's part of it - I stayed up somewhat later than I would have liked to, practicing my speech. So I only got approximately five hours of sleep. But then today after classes I took a four-hour nap! ... Yet I'm more tired now than I was before I took the nap. I've been focusing on my being tired so much today, that I haven't thought about much else, to be honest. It's hard to focus on God and others when I'm just thinking about me. It's terrible. And I don't like it. But it's nice to know that I can find rest in God, who never tires or grows weary. He is my strength. Praise God!

'Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.'
[Isaiah 40:28]

Ch. 307 - Good to All

' "If you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even "sinners" do that." '
[Luke 6:33]

This is so difficult to do. Do good to those who are not good to you, that is. It is most certainly a challenge. But imagine how pleased our Lord God is with us when we put down our pride, push away our stubborn tendencies, and allow the Spirit to take over the soul and body. Do good.

Ch. 306 - Something to Work On

'Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.'
[1 John 4:7]

Do you know God?
Can others tell whether you do based on the love that you show?

Ch. 305 - Justified

'Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.'
[Romans 5:1-2]

Justified.
Peacce.
Access... faith.
Rejoice.

Ch. 304 - Light as a Feather

I am doing my best to think before I speak nowadays. I think it's important to do so. Yet sometimes I find myself just talking and talking without thinking.

At times like these, I usually find myself thinking one of two things, either: 1) '... Did I really just say that? I don't believe myself.'; or 2) 'Wow - that actually makes sense. Way to be totally legit, Natalie.' However, there is one time when I don't think before I speak and don't know what to think afterward. I'm so dumbfounded or stricken with awe that my mind simply goes blank and my tongue is silenced. This has not happened but a handful of times. These are the times when I feel that I do not do the talking, but instead the Holy Spirit does. It's like God just completely takes over and I don't know I would ever say what I end up saying. I hope that makes sense. The times it has happened I have been in intercessory prayers with a friend and simply talking to others. And I definitely didn't realize it was the Holy Spirit until after the prayers and conversations. I feel that God really works for the best in these situations, as tough or awkward as they may seem at the time. The situations I've experienced when this has happened included words of comfort, confession, or encouragement. Looking back, I have realized that in every situation I ended up growing in some way and that my faith was really strengthened. It sure is interesting how God reaches out at times. Sometimes it takes some pretty deep measures to wake you up, get you over an obstacle, or lift a weight that you've been carrying around for awhile. The Holy Spirit also works in interesting ways through prayer and the fact that He can speak for us when we cannot or do not know what to say. God constantly knows our needs and our thoughts. Times of prayer when He seems all the more with you and speaks for you are beautiful reminders of His love for you. We are His children and He truly cares for us.


'In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.'
[Romans 8:26-27]

Ch. 303 - Desires

'Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.'
[Isaiah 26:8]

16. September 2010 Edit:

I find it interesting that my post for today [16. September 2010] is about Psalm 73:52b, which says, '... And earth has nothing I desire besides you.' That is how God made us, I think. To fully desire Him... even when we do not realize it. We are always striving to fill ourselves in some way. But our hearts cry out for the Living God.

Ch. 302 - Aloud

I find myself cringing when I think about how many times I have seemingly been ashamed of my faith. Perhaps 'ashamed' is not the best choice of words... I mean, perhaps embarrassed, even, is more fitting.

Either way, it's appalling.
Absolutely appalling.

Even so, it's the truth.
And sometimes the truth is unpleasant and ugly when viewed.
But often enough there is also a lot of beauty to the truth.
You can learn a lot from the truth, as well.

... That makes me think about Jesus. When He was on the cross, He was not daintily hung without flaw or stain, such as in some paintings we see or the sculptures that we can reach out and touch and hold. Jesus was perfect, yes. He was without vice. But when He was beaten by Roman soldiers and crucified, He became physically imperfect. His flesh hung in strips. His back was cut open and deeply inflicted with wounds. Blood streamed down His body and dried on his arms, hands, stomach, legs, and feet. His hair, I'm sure, was a matted mess. Dirt of the road to Gol'gotha - 'the place of a skull' - clung to Him. And then His hands and feet were hewn to rough pieces of wood. By that point in time, I believe it is safe to say that Jesus was, in short, ugly. He was unpleasant to look at. But to many people, He was quite possibly the most beautiful man they had ever laid eyes on. He brought so much good to this world. To us. To you, to me. He brought Life. And He was the Truth. He is the Truth.

How could I ever be embarrassed of that?

I don't want people to get the wrong idea about me.
I mean, Christians are conservative, close-minded, self-righteous, science-hating hypocrites!
Right?
Well, I think it's reasonable to say that there are Christians in this world that fit this description...
but that's how a lot of people view most Christians, and that's not fair.

"What are you going to do about it?"
... Good question. But that's another post for another day.

But how is it that I, a girl who wants to spread the Gospel to all nations, am afraid of living my faith out loud?

I have friends who do not know Jesus the way I do. They call themselves Christian, but they do not have a relationship with Christ. They live in ways that are completely different from the way that I do. But when they say or do something that makes me upset or uncomfortable, do I say anything? No. I'm not worried about losing their friendship; friends come and go. I could bring out the Jesus card, but... they're 'Christians', remember? "They know." When I go running or go on a walk, I usually pray and sing worship songs out loud - when nobody's around, that is. Otherwise, I pray and sing the songs in my head. Why? Why do I have to stop speaking and singing when someone comes into view and then resume when they're out of earshot? It's not that I'm self-conscious about my voice. It's not that I'm scared people will think I'm talking to myself and that I'm crazy. These things do not matter to me. Yet for some reason, when faith is involved... it obviously does matter to me. And I hate that. I can honestly say that I hate it. Mind you, I use the word 'hate' very, very, very little.

I could talk about God with friends and family [and even strangers] for hours.
Do I? No.

I could read my Bible when I'm not in class or church or trying to have 'alone time'.
Do I? No.

I could pray and talk to God [out loud] during all of my free time.
Do I? No.

Right now I can't help but think of the teaching of Jesus about the hypocrites praying on the street corners and in the synagogues to be seen by man, as well as praying with many words to feel like they've been heard [Matthew 6:5-8]. I don't want to say that I'm afraid of being like those hypocrites. I mean, that very well could be part of it. I have had my share of experiences with pride; I have both been around people with pride complexes that reach to the sky... and I have felt a lot of pride on my own behalf. However, I really think it's more than that.

I feel like there's so much more I could be doing with my faith.
For others.
For God.
And, to be honest, for myself.
To learn.
To grow.

However, I am realizing that a lot of what I am thinking and feeling may have to do with praise.

I could praise God every hour of every day.
Do I?

.......

No.

I do not give God enough praise.
My actions do not give Him the glory He deserves.
My words do not give Him the thanks He deserves.
I do not give Him enough admiration.
I do not give Him enough devotion.
'Worship is a lifestyle.'
I say that a lot.
A lot.
But I most certainly do not follow through with what I say.

Enough is enough.
It will not do to be ashamed.
Guilty.
Embarrassed.
How dare I?
After Christ was ridiculed, scorned, and mocked, I simply have no excuse.
No right.

If anything, I should be ashamed of myself.


'Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels." '
[Luke 9:23-26]

......

Ch. 302, Part Two:

Please watch this video. It is fantastic.

Ch. 301 - MY Savior

'I will be joyful in God my Savior.'
[Habakkuk 3:18]

I love that I can be selfish with God.
Yes, I want to share Him with others...
but I am allowed to believe and know that He is my God.
He's not just some random figure in the clouds, telling us, "Don't do that!" or "Do this!" and throwing lightning bolts to smite us when He's angry.

I am a child of God. He is my Father.
And just as my dad is my dad, he is also 'dad' to my brother and sister; the same goes for God my Father.
He is yours.
He is mine.

I'm glad that's the way it is and will forever be.

Ch. 300 - The Copycat, Revisited

This is my last 'revisit' to posts from one year ago. On January 8, 2008 I wrote in my journal about being a copycat... an imitator, really, of Jesus Christ. It wasn't until about a year ago that I had ever thought and truly cared about being Christlike.

Since then, I have been more conscious of being a child of God, an imitator of God [Ephesians 5:1]. I'm always going to fall short of doing this, but that's okay with me. I will continue to strive to be Christlike and the fact that I want to be like Him and push on towards the prize is, I hope, just as pleasing to God.

I'm still learning what it means to be Christlike and while I do believe I have made some progress in this area, I know there is always room for improvement. And I'm glad for that.


'We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.'
[1 John 4:13-14]

Ch. 299 - The Commitment, Revisited

On January 7, 2008 I wrote in my journal about a commitment I was in the process of making. This was a commitment to serving God and doing His will; it was spurred by a devotional - which, technically, stated the very commitment:

'I will live the rest of my life serving God's purposes with God's people on God's planet for God's glory. I will use my life to celebrate His presence, cultivate His character, participate in His family, demonstrate His love, and communicate His word.'

Intense.

At the time, I felt that call to commitment was an answer to prayer and I feel the same way today. I had been praying about what it was, exactly, that God wanted me to do and I had really felt a tug towards ministry. That, to say the least, was the beginning of a new journey. I mean, look where I am now. I was taken out of beautiful and wondrous Salt Lake City, Utah and placed at a small school in might-as-well-be-the-middle-of-nowhere, Missouri. Not to say that Moberly isn't beautiful and wondrous in its own ways, but I loved Salt Lake. There's no going around that. But it was a necessary move, I feel, and I don't regret making the decision to transfer. It was a difficult decision, yes... and challenges continue to manifest themselves, but that's life and challenges are going to present themselves to you regardless of where you are and what you are doing.

I feel that God placed this commitment on my heart entirely and I was completely ready when I decided to go with it and make it mine. Of course, I went through a few ups and downs after I did so, including a decision that I was not going to spend my time in a life of servitude to God, but instead go back to my original plan... the one that I knew for a fact was not God's plan for me. But I didn't care and I was going to go for it anyway. Well. As you may imagine, God said, "Nope." And I started to reply, "But, God -" That was as far as I got. He answered, "Natalie. NO." So I decided to completely embrace the act of trusting in God and doing His will. I committed my life to God once more and I have not looked back since. That was not a difficult decision to make whatsoever.

Here is another portion of the commitment of the devotional:

'Since my past has been forgiven, and I have a purpose for living and a home awaiting in heaven, I refuse to waste any more time or energy on shallow living, petty thinking, trivial talking, thoughtless doing, useless regretting, hurtful resenting, or faithless worrying. Instead I will magnify God, grow to maturity, serve in ministry, and fulfill my mission in the membership of his family.'

Sublime.


'Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.'
[Philippians 3:13b-14]

Ch. 298 - Keep This in Mind:

Prayer and attitude are two key factors in having a good day.
I'm not going to define 'good', because what is good to me may be bad to you and vice versa. But today was a good day, and I have no problem in contributing this to both prayer and having a certain attitude. Today was certainly better than yesterday, that's for sure. This is something I am completely thankful for. God is great.


'You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.'
[Ephesians 4:22-24]

Ch. 297 - Joy

Jesus is my joy.
My joy is found in patience.
My joy is found in simplicity.
My joy is found in slowing down.
Jesus is my joy.

Just reminding myself, I suppose.
[It was difficult to find the joy today.]


'The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.'
[Psalm 19:8]

Ch. 296 - Strength

Something is not right. I don't know what. None of us do.
But God does.
And He is in control.
My mom is right, I can't worry. It won't do any good.
Everything may not be alright.
It's true.
But even though we do not know what is and is not right, life goes on.
Faith is strengthened through the good and the bad.
So for now - and forever more, to be honest, no matter what happens - I have joy. I have laughter. I have love. I have happiness. I have my God. And that is what truly matters.


' "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." '
[John 14:1]

Ch. 295 - Small Answers Matter, Revisited

GOD IS GOOD. ALL THE TIME.

He is beautiful.
And gracious.
And loving.
And kind.

He has a plan for all.
That includes me.
That includes you.

He answers my prayers. Slowly but surely. He shows me that baby steps are important. He reminds me that patience is key... and to find joy in ALL situations, no matter how dire they may seem. He is in control. He strengthens us in our darkest times and reminds us that He is with us, even when we no longer think He is. I just hope that He shows Himself to a dear friend of mine before he turns away from God completely...

But guess what?

GOD IS GOOD. ALL THE TIME.


'When I called you, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted.'
[Psalm 138:3]

Ch. 294 - Side by Side

My life needs to revolve around Christ. You can die to self every day, but continue to walk with a few steps between you and Christ, rather than shoulder-to-shoulder, hip-to-hip. It's hard to walk that close with anybody for a long amount of time, let alone with Christ, with God - even though He is the only One I would ever want to walk that close with. But for the most part, it's just as nice to have a small space between myself and Christ on our walk. I can keep an eye on Him, hear everything He says, and not have to worry about getting separated too easily. At the same time, I am in touch with the aspects of my life that are outside of Christ and my faith. But I should always be more in tune with Christ than anything or anyone else. I should have my shoulders turned to Him as I walk. If I am to walk closely with Him, I need to live my life in such a way that is absolutely pleasing to Him. I need to worship Him with my life. If I am to walk closely with Him, everything I say and do needs to be in accordance with Him. Jesus may live with me and in me by way of the Holy Spirit, but I don't always live for Him. That needs to change.


'Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.'
[1 Thessalonians 4:1-2]

Ch. 293 - Time to Trust, Revisited

On January 1, 2008 I wrote in my journal about what I felt the new year, 2008, would bring. I had never felt that 'the new year' was important until last year, because of the changes I had gone through. I had finally turned the reins over to God and was learning to put my absolute trust in Him.

I also felt that God would reveal my purpose this past year.
I mean, I believe everybody's purpose in life is to worship God and spread His Love and Word, preaching the gospel to all nations... but I think we each have a unique way of doing this, set up by Him. And that's what I meant by saying that I felt God would reveal 'this lifetime's purpose' for myself.

And you know what?

I believe that He did exactly that.

As many times as I've said that I keep going back and forth between ministries and am not sure about what I want to do with my life, that's only a half-truth, I think. I'm pretty sure about what God wants me to do for Him... but I keep turning away from that. To be honest, it's scary. It's dangerous. It's challenging. It's different. But it's needed, it's necessary. And I do think that I am one of the people cut out to do the job. It's time to put my trust in God once and for all and take responsibility for what I believe He is placing in my hands and on my heart.

Like I said last year...

It's not about me.


'You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.'
[Isaiah 26:3-4]